Work Text:
"Hey, Mika?”
Knowing him for so long, Mika recognized every one of Yuu’s tells. This one, for example, was the tone he used when he was trying very hard to be casual and was failing miserably, anxiety sipping through the cracks instead.
“Hm?” He hummed, hoping his voice was soothing enough to put Yuu at ease, but not so different from normal to the point where his best friend would notice his attempt at comfort and be embarrassed.
Yuu was not one to get scared easily, especially when it came to speaking his mind, but when he did, he was tricky to deal with. The last thing Mika wanted was for Yuu to withdraw.
“I, uh,” He swallowed, scratching the back of his neck self-consciously. “Never mind.”
Furrowing his eyebrows, Mika reached out to gently take the hand closest to him, giving it a light squeeze. For a moment, Mika could swear Yuu was blushing, but it was gone as soon as he blinked. It must have been his imagination, as Mika being overly affectionate with him was just a thing they did.
There was no possible way Yuu felt the same ache in his chest he did. The thought alone, although brief, was laughable. Mika smiled bitterly to himself. He had accepted the fact that his feelings for his childhood friend were unrequited years ago.
“You don’t have to tell me, I won’t force you,” He reassured. “But I’ll be here if you wanna talk about it. Okay?”
To his utter relief, Yuu smiled slightly. “Thanks. You’re the best.”
Mika winked at him, smirking. “I know.”
They fell back into a somewhat comfortable silence. Mika tried to push the subject to the back of his mind, he truly did, but it kept nagging at him. What could have possibly made the reckless Yuu revert back to a more hesitant, standoffish version of himself, not unlike when they first met as children?
He could only hope Yuu decided to confide in him like always, sooner rather than later.
As if answering his prayers, Yuu suddenly stood up, dropping the manga he had been pretending to read (it was rather obvious, with the way he didn’t flip a single page for the whole ten minutes or so since he had first spoken up) and met his inquisitive gaze with a determined stare of his own. Mika’s traitorous heart fluttered at the look he simply adored to see on his best friend’s face.
“Mika, have you ever kissed anyone?”
Out of all the things he expected to be asked, that was definitely not one of them. Mika felt his face heat up despite himself. “If I had, you would know.”
I wouldn’t want to kiss anyone that isn’t you, is what he wanted to reply instead. He was never that bold, however. Besides, ruining the best thing that ever happened to him just so he could no longer label himself as a coward was the farthest from being worth it.
If Mika was looking at him through rose-tinted lenses, he would think Yuu seemed relieved, but believing that would be pathetic. And even if his own vision wasn’t failing him, the only reason why the raven-haired boy would take solace in that fact would be if he were worried Mika had experienced his first kiss before him.
“Well, yeah, same, but we never talk about romance and stuff, so I wondered, y’know?” Yuu gave him a crooked grin, cheeks with the slightest hint of pink tinting them.
Mika just hummed.
Of course they didn’t discuss such matters. If they did, Yuu would have the opportunity to admit to having a crush on someone Mika didn’t know, or to returning Shinoa’s feelings. As such, the blond avoided the subject like the plague.
If Yuu was enamored with someone that wasn’t him, which was bound to happen eventually, then Mika would rather remain forever blissfully oblivious to it, thank you very much. He didn’t know if he could handle the truth.
“Do you maybe wanna practice, then?”
He almost choked on his own saliva. “What?” Mika croaked, hoping he had misheard or misunderstood.
“Kissing,” Yuu shrugged, as if that simple word explained everything.
Agreeing to that horrendous idea would be taking advantage of not only Yuu, but of their close friendship as a whole. Decision made, Mika looked into the other boy’s emerald eyes glittering with hope and opened his mouth to firmly deny such an outcome.
“Okay,” was what came out instead.
His resolve had crumbled away until it was nothing but dust in a matter of seconds. Dammit, why did green had to be Mika’s favorite color? And why did his best friend have to be so stupidly irresistible? It was like his entire life was a joke that Mika was not in the mood to be laughing at.
But backtracking seemed impossible with how happy Yuu looked. How could he possibly take his words back now? Was Yuu that desperate to be a good kisser? Was there already someone he wanted to impress? The thought alone made Mika feel ill.
“Sweet!” Suddenly he was helping Mika up, his hand steady in his own trembling one. Yuu, like always, either did not notice or pretended not to. Mika wasn’t sure which option was worse. “Should we just… go for it? Now?”
Mika’s skin was on fire, he was sure of it. “Um, sure.”
And then Yuu tugged him forward, lifted his free hand to caress his cheek. His touch was gentle, feather-light, as he intertwined their fingers and used his thumb to rub the back of Mika’s hand. All the blood that rushed to his face made the blond feel like he was on the verge of fainting from the gesture alone. He was going to die.
He squeezed his eyes shut when he saw Yuu leaning in.
The kiss was chaste, their lips barely brushing, but Mika couldn’t keep his body from shivering with delight.
Taking that as a bad sign, Yuu abruptly pulled back. “Sorry, was it really that bad?”
Mika took a moment to answer, reaching out to lightly touch his own lips, which were still tingling. “Maybe we should try again,” He dodged the question, heart in his throat.
He really liked to keep digging his own grave, didn’t he? But now that Mika had a taste of what it was like to kiss Yuu, he couldn’t help but want more and more. What an awful person he was, using his best friend’s eagerness to learn for his own selfish desires.
Yuu was quick to nod. “Totally! It’s not much practice if we only do it once, right?”
“Totally,” Mika echoed, dizzy with an array of emotions he couldn’t describe nor place.
This time, Yuu kissed him with far more enthusiasm, like he had been holding himself back. But that was just ridiculous, Mika thought, squashing down the hope that threatened to build up inside his chest.
After a moment’s hesitation, he tentatively kissed back, not sure what to do but hoping Yuu could feel the pressure of Mika’s lips moving against his. Judging by the way they quirked up slightly not long afterwards, Mika wasn’t doing that bad of a job.
However, his clarity of mind didn’t last much longer, as Yuu decided it was a perfectly okay idea to nibble at his bottom lip, with the confidence of someone who had done so many times before. Startled, Mika let out a small gasp, Yuu taking the opportunity to make himself at home with his tongue in the other boy’s mouth and gently wrapping it around his own. A pleasant jolt went down Mika’s spine, his knees just about to give out from the sudden pleasure, but Yuu held on tightly to his waist before he could lose his balance.
Distantly, Mika screamed at himself for being a lovesick fool and giving in to Yuu’s puppy-dog eyes, because how on earth was he supposed to go back to being just friends after getting so drunk on Yuu’s embrace? At least before, he had to rely on his own imagination, unaware that the real thing was so much better than any of his daydreams could ever hope to be.
He should probably stop this once and for all, come up with some excuse or another, perhaps even blurt out his feelings and put himself out of his misery while he still could. After all, Yuu could read him like a book when it counted, he would know for sure if Mika lied about his reasoning behind not being okay with any of this.
But then Yuu ran his tongue teasingly over Mika’s sensitive palate, making his stomach swoop and any remaining rational thought went flying out the window. He shuddered, letting escape a soft moan. Mika reached out to cup Yuu’s face in his hands like he had long since yearned to do, tilting his head and thus finding a better angle to deepen the kiss further.
He was just starting to doubt his decision, worried by the way Yuu had frozen against him immediately after, but before he could spiral, Yuu snapped out of whatever stupor he was in and sagged in his hold with a muffled groan of his own.
Eventually, however, Mika was reminded of the fact that he still needed to breathe. He reluctantly broke the kiss, marveling how Yuu reacted with a small sound of disapproval as he tried to chase after him, even as his chest heaved with each intake of a breath he took.
His expression was so cute and so entirely Yuu that Mika began to giggle, doubling over and holding onto his stomach as it morphed into full-blown laughter.
“Mika?” Yuu asked, and it took him a moment to register the outright panic present in his strained voice. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Confused, Mika struggled to calm down, fluttering his eyes back open and straightening his posture. He wiped the moisture on his cheeks with the back of his hand, ready to ask what he meant by that question…
Huh? That’s weird.
When had he started crying?
Yuu reached out towards him before stopping with his hands in midair, as though unsure if his touch would be welcome. “I’m so sorry for whatever I did! Please don’t cry…”
Mika sniffled, trying to smile reassuringly. However, judging by the way Yuu’s frown deepened, it came out as more of a grimace. “You didn’t do anything, Yuu-chan. I’m fine, it’s just-”
Of course he had to lose his composure before he was fully prepared to face rejection. Of course. Could this situation get any worse?
“Bullshit,” Yuu interrupted, his voice and mannerisms making it obvious he was a mix between concerned and angry. His unbridled rage didn’t seem to be directed at Mika, however. Yuu clenched his hands into fists. “You didn’t want to kiss me, right? But you agreed anyways because… I dunno, maybe I was being pushy or something?”
Well, he wasn’t exactly right…
But he wasn’t exactly wrong, either.
Yuu took his tense silence as confirmation. His shoulders dropped as he buried his face in his hands, clearly frustrated. “Ugh, you should’ve said something! Or slapped me. That would have worked, too.”
Mika violently shook his head as he found his voice. “It’s not your fault, Yuu-chan.”
“It is. I’m so fucking sorry, I can’t believe I lost to my desires like that. I thought I had them under control,” The last part could barely be called a mumble, but Mika heard him loud and clear.
His eyes widened, mouth dropping open. Surely he hadn’t meant what it sounded like.
“Desires?” Mika asked, voice not much louder than a whisper. Yuu paused, before his expression suddenly mirrored his own, soon followed by horror. It made his chest hurt to cause his best friend such distress, but he had to confirm his suspicions. “What do you mean by that?”
It was too good to be true. There had to be some kind of alternative explanation for his words.
Yuu hesitated for an agonizingly long moment. Then, he sighed heavily as he ran his hands over his face in a fit of despair. “You weren’t supposed to found out this way.”
“Find out what?”
He was ignored. “Oh god, this isn’t romantic at all. Everyone’s gonna kill me. I should’ve just agreed to their plan.”
“Yuu-chan,” Mika winced at how pathetic he sounded, even to his own ears, but carried on regardless. “You’re not making any sense.”
Taking a deep and unsteady breath, Yuu began to ramble. “It was a precaution I came up with, for if you ended up rejecting me. I, uh, did some research? On kissing? Just in case. I thought maybe you would be convinced to date me if you knew how good I am at it?” Mika watched, mouth still agape, as Yuu’s face took on a bright cherry flush. Yuu looked away with an embarrassed frown, fiddling with his hands. “I didn’t expect it to be so addicting, and then you just started crying out of nowhere…” His voice became small, meek. “I’m sorry. I’m the worst.”
Mika’s mouth opened and closed several times, but not a sound came out.
“Please say something,” Yuu’s desperate plea snapped him out of it.
“You want to date me?” It was the only thing his jumbled mind could latch onto.
Now, it was Yuu’s turn to look lost. “Everyone does.”
Mika thought back to the numerous times he had gotten confessed to over the years, especially ever since starting high school. However, those numbers diminished over time, likely because they got to know him better and saw past his looks and to his less than stellar personality. He told Yuu this.
Yuu immediately flicked him on the forehead, leading him to pout in protest. “And you call me dumb. No, our classmates started to back off when they realized you spend all your time with me. So they thought they didn’t have a chance.”
Whether or not Mika believed his words, he didn’t know, but he still looked Yuu straight in the eyes as he whispered, “And they were right.”
“Huh?”
Confidence all but gone, Mika glanced away as he felt a blush take over his features. “I never had eyes for anyone but you, Yuu-chan,” As Yuu said nothing, simply staring at him like he had grown two additional heads, Mika deflated. It had been some sort of sick joke, hadn’t it? Of course Yuu didn’t return his feelings. “Now’s your chance to say you were just kidding.”
That brought a reaction out of Yuu. He reached to grab his hand, holding on tightly as he seemed to have found what he was searching for in Mika’s crestfallen expression. “No, of course not! I would never joke about something like this, Mika,” Then, with a bashful grin, “So you actually like me back?”
Back. Having confirmation from the boy himself filled his stomach with butterflies, his heart fluttering. Mika swallowed. He didn’t have the time to ponder if it would be coming on too strong, before he was blurting out the words that had been stuck in his throat for quite a long time. “I’m in love with you, Yuu-chan.”
To his relief, Yuu absolutely beamed at that, the clear sheen reflected in his eyes revealing the set of tears that threatened to fall at any second. “Me too. I mean,” He laughed a bit awkwardly, seemingly unsure as to what to do with himself. It had no right being that endearing. Then, what Yuu said next stole the breath right out of his lungs in one fell swoop. “I love you too, Mika. I have for a long time.”
Smiling so wide his cheeks were beginning to hurt, Mika voiced a shy request, “Does that mean we can kiss again?”
Yuu was nodding before Mika was even finished speaking. “Yes, please.”
And this time, there were no unspoken feelings behind the action, just a tender kind of sweetness.