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Honestly Magnus should’ve seen this coming. Alec had returned from a hastily prepared dinner with all of the major Institute Heads in the United States. Robert Lightwood’s Los Angeles included in that, which already had Alec seething from the beginning.
Magnus had just settled down in bed, bringing a cup of camomile tea and a book older than him into bed with him. He hears the front door open and his wards accept the only person encouraged and welcomed in Magnus’ space at this precious time.
Alec walks into the doorway, with delightfully flushed cheeks and a crooked smile.
“How was dinner, darling?” Magnus asks, and instead of being met with any understandable answer Alec’s warm lips are on his.
And what more can Magnus do than let the question go? His husband is a warm and welcoming weight against him and it’s like coming home.
Magnus splays his fingers against Alec’s hip, his other hand going around his neck to pull him closer. They lazily kiss, both too tired to go any further but never denying each other the simple contact that they both crave.
A few moments pass, Alec’s steadily breathing in Magnus’ neck and he would think he was already asleep if not for the sound of Alexander thinking pressed against his side.
“What’s on your mind?” It’s an opening. An invitation, phrased in a way that can be both nonchalant or genuine. Alec has an equal opportunity to say nothing or everything.
“Aline told me today that people are speculating about me, and my loyalty. Specifically in Idris, but it also happened at dinner, even with me sitting right at the table in front of everyone.”
Magnus is genuinely confused, because with the thousands of people he has met throughout his long life Alec is the most loyal person he’s ever had the pleasure of knowing. But then he’s angry, because those thousands of people have never taken the time to get to know Alec.
“Because of my fathers name and his relationship with me.” Alec whispers, “And a small part of me is terrified I’ll become just like him.”
So that’s where the issue lingers. Alec can deal with gossip and drama from Idris and beyond, it’s his head that’s his biggest enemy.
Alec shifts in bed to his back, grabbing Magnus’ hand and fiddling with his fingers. He’s worrying his lower lip in that endearing way he always does when he’s not finished speaking but hasn’t quite put all the words together in his head. Magnus patiently waits, giving him a small yet encouraging smile.
“I just hate my name. I hate the shame and negativity that come with it. I hate that I’m expected to respect him and am looked down upon because of him. I hate even more than I do that to myself. It’s something I can’t help but I worry about it constantly, it’s just in the back of my head always there.”
And Magnus understands, because how could he not? His entire life has been carved out for him based on his father’s expectations for him. People recognize him because of his fathers infamous past. People judge him because of his father’s infamous past.
“Darling,” Magnus murmurs, impossibly gentle. “Do you judge me based on my father?”
“Of course not,” Alec huffs, as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world.
“Do you associate his mistakes and his actions with me, only because we share the same blood?”
“No Magnus, you’re so much of a better man than he was.” Magnus hums inquisitively, lifting himself up on his elbow, disjointing their hands so he can cup Alec’s cheek.
“So let me make sure I’m hearing this right: you don’t judge me nor use our shared bloodline against me because he is my father, but you do that yourself? That doesn’t seem very fair, love.” Magnus can feel the tension in Alec’s set jaw, wants nothing more than to shut the conversation down and hold his husband so tight the pain goes away, but he knows Alec will keep torturing himself if he doesn’t get through to him.
“Your situation is different. Asmodeus was awful to you, you overcame all he put you through and chose to use your magic to help mundanes and the Shadow world.”
“The same rules apply, Alexander. You could’ve chosen to adopt the ways of your parents instead you fought back and became your own person. You could’ve chosen to leave Clary alone to find her mother but instead you helped her many more times than deserved might I add. You could’ve let Simon fend for himself when becoming a vampire but instead you helped him adapt and introduced him to the Shadow world gradually. You help more people than you could ever keep track of and you don’t give yourself nearly enough credit. You don’t stop to think about yourself, how you might feel, how you might be impacted, and you just help. You protect people, not things, and that’s the main difference between you and your dad. You make me feel so safe darling, in a way I know your dad never made you feel. You make me feel happy in a way I know your dad never gave to you. And these are things you should’ve had.”
“You make me feel like the safest most happiest person in the world. I don’t need him.” Alec murmurs, nonetheless affected by Magnus’ understanding and his gentleness and his eloquence as always, so much so one tear rolls down his cheek.
Magnus wipes it away with the pad of his thumb, cupping Alec’s face and looking into his sad eyes.
“Until you see yourself in my eyes, I’ll be waiting to give you all the praise and appreciation you deserve. You’re not your father Alexander, and if you take away one thing from this conversation that needs to be it. You try so hard, my love, Robert never did that. To you, to your siblings, to his marriage, to his work. You don’t just try darling, you thrive at all of these. And if you don’t thrive you won’t budge until the problem is fixed.”
Alec sniffles and buries his face in Magnus’ neck.
“I still hate my last name.” Alec finally mutters, after a few heavy moments of Magnus rubbing Alec’s back and Alec crying in his arms.
“Then you can always take mine. Hmm, to be honest I’m not sure changing your name to the same as yet another infamous warlock would do you any good with the Clave, darling.” Magnus winks, unable to resist doing and saying everything possible to get his beautiful husband to laugh.
Alec chuckles before grabbing Magnus’ hand once more and kissing his knuckles. “I love your name.” He whispers almost dreamily, lips brushing Magnus’ fingers.
“I know.” Magnus smiles then. “Alexander Bane. I do have to admit, I’m into it.”
Alec glances at him, one eyebrow raised as Magnus winks again and smirks.
“You just want to claim me.” Alec teases.
“Well of course I want to claim the most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid my eyes on. What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t .” Magnus scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t enjoy ever second of this so called claiming?” Alec replies, fingers walking up Magnus’ arm before gently gripping his upper arm.
“You are a menace, Alexander Bane. But I love you so much for it.”
Alec laughs. “I love you too. For the record, I like Alec Bane too. Makes me seem powerful and indestructible.”
“I’ll have you know that is exact opposite meaning of my name. Great Destruction.” Alec remembers Magnus sharing that with him, has the fleeting thought of gold sheets similar to the burgundy ones they’re lying on and the strikingly identical warmth in his chest.
“We can simultaneously be indestructible and great at destroying things, Magnus.” Alec says rolling his eyes, smirking at Magnus’ snort.
“Very well Alexander, then it’s settled. Alec and Magnus Bane.” Alec hums in contentment before curling back into Magnus’ neck, kissing the sensitive skin there in gratitude and infatuation alike.
They reveal in their small bubble of perfect happiness where Alec can be Magnus’ and Magnus’ only, without judgement and hatred and responsibility.
Outside of the loft they know Alec can never change his name because of his duty to the Clave. They know his job, reputation, and very existence would be on the line.
As Magnus tilts his head back and opens his mouth in delight as Alec’s kisses exponentially increase, all of that is forgotten with a rustle of silk sheets, a faint smell of sandalwood, and gentle laughs.