Work Text:
Hours and Hours spent staring at her appearance, was doing a number on Elle. She had sat down at her vanity around seven, to get ready for a party that would take place at ten. It was now ten forty? Ish? She hadn’t looked at the clock.
She had vaguely been aware of her phone ringing, but just couldn’t bring herself to look at the device making all this noise for the past hour. It was surely just someone calling to ask where she was, and why hadn’t she made it. She could tell them tomorrow that she had gotten caught up with schoolwork, or had fallen asleep. Both of which were proper lies in regards to what she had actually been doing.
She leaned forward, looking into the mirror still, as she had been doing for so long. She lifted a hand to trace her jawline, sighing. Then she pushed her arms together, attempting to show off her chest, which she also wasn’t satisfied with. She picked up her lipgloss again, (she had only wiped it off six different times) and applied it. She took a glance at herself in the mirror, and she frowned. Then proceeded to use the back of her hand to wipe the gloss from her lips again.
She was growing more frustrated, and more upset. She was hot! She knew that. Back home she had boys falling at her feet just at the snap of a finger, but now? Nothing had really changed, she just didn’t feel feminine tonight, she decided.
With that sad discovery, she stared at her mirror with a blank expression, until she blinked too hard. Her eyes started to burn, and her throat was closing up. She blinked again, growing closer to crying. With the final blink her demeanor broke. Her shoulders slumped, and she looked away from the mirror.
She stood up, and turned off the lamp at her desk, now taking note of how dark her room was, the only light was coming in from her open window, all the lights of streetlights below her room, and a single pink nightlight plugged in.
She walked into her closet and shut the door, changing her clothes from the dress she had been wearing, into soft fuzzy pants and a tank top. She undid her tucking and sighed softly before leaving the closet, plucking up Bruiser from his dog bed, and plopped him down on her bed, she picked up her phone from the vanity, then turned to her bed, where she then promptly tucked herself into bed.
She turned her phone on, ignoring the missed call notifications, allowing her Face ID to work before she went onto Pinterest. She scrolled through the feminine outfits, and the makeup ideas, a sinking feeling growing in her chest. Why couldn’t she look like them? Why wasn’t she feminine enough? The tears were back.
Bruiser whined, pawing at her arm. Then he slipped himself under her arm, staring at her, licking her cheeks, before he sat his head down. Elle wanted to laugh at the dogs cute antics, but she couldn’t.
She got off of Pinterest, looking at the notifications. Two texts from Vivian ( “where are you?? Are u coming??” And “Emmett is rlly worried bout you, r u ok?”)
and three calls from Paulette followed with two texts ( “are you OKAY??? 😭 ” “where are you, sweetheart?”)
Even a text from Enid. (“Where r u @ girl?? 🤨 ”)
But what really got her was the missed calls and texts from Emmett. She hadn’t even thought about calling him.
9:56
I can’t wait to see you later! ❤️
10:10
Elle? Did you need a ride? Im so sorry for not asking before.
10:15
Are you coming? If you need a ride, I’ll come back. I know you were looking forward to this party.
10:16
Are you okay? It’s been awhile since you’ve texted me back.
10:18
Elle
Elle
Elle
Ellllee
10:19
Ellllleee
10:20
Elllllllleeeee
10:22
ELLE
10:26
Love, are you okay? Did you fall asleep? Is Bruiser okay?
10:30
Elle? Please pick up.
10:32
Im getting worried.
10:42
Did something happen?
10:45
I’ll give you five minutes.
10:47
I lied, im worried.
10:48
Elle?
10:51
Elle??
10:57
Im going to come over. I love you. Im sorry if I’m overthinking, I just need to know you’re okay.
She felt so bad, she must’ve freaked him out so bad. She glanced at the clock on her phone. It was eleven thirty, he should’ve been here by now. She felt so bad. She should’ve just gone to the party. She clicked on Emmett’s icon, and then clicked on the phone icon, holding it up to her ear.
It didn’t even ring once before, “Elle? Are you okay?” He sounded out of breath “Is everything okay? Im coming up the stairs now” She made a noise of agreement, roughly. Just the sound of his harsh breathing, then a knock at the door, “may I come in?” From both her phone, and the door. She hung her phone up and harshly wiped her face; trying to hide the tears, if they could even be seen in the dark. She spoke, telling him he could, and before she knew it he was in the door, light spilling in from the hallway, and gosh he looked handsome. He was dressed up in a nice suit, and had his hair done. He was carrying an unmarked bag, and flowers, It all made her feel so much worse.
Bruiser hopped off her bed, and went to Emmett’s feet, as if to tell him ‘ Ayup, make her better’ and Emmett tilted his head, shutting the door behind him, moving to her desk, and turning on the fairy lights in her room.
Elle looked at him, not at his face, but she looked at the rest of him. “You look nice,” she sheepishly muttered. Emmett placed the flowers he had been holding on the desk, and in the back of Elle’s mind she spoke to herself again. He got her flowers? And she didn’t even show up. She felt worse, somehow.
Emmett stripped off the jacket he had on, then the suit coat came off, and he rolled his sleeves up. He swiftly made his way over to elle. “Are you sick?” He placed the back of his hand on her forehead. “What do you need from me? I can-“
She leaned forward, resting her head on his chest, whimpering a slight something before she started crying again. “I’m sorry,” she replied to his question. Emmett felt his heart shatter, and instantly slipped out of his shoes, took off his vest and tie, tossing them somewhere in the room. He undid his belt, and then climbed into bed with her. Holding her face tenderly as he moved her to lay on him.
He ran his fingers through her hair as she cried on his chest, letting her get as close as she wanted. “I’ve got you.” He waited for the tears to slow before he spoke again. “What’s going on in the pretty brain of yours, hm?” He kissed her forehead and tenderly wiped her tears from her eyes. “I’ve got you.”
And she lost all control she had after that, sobbing onto him, telling him how she spent so long trying to get ready but she just didn’t feel pretty. She would never look like the other girls, she wasn’t pretty at all, and the makeup she tried to put on felt wrong. Her chest is flat, and her jawline is too sharp. She needs to shave. Her voice is too deep. Ect extra.
“I just want everything to slow down. Im a girl, I know I am, but I want it at my pace, the faster I go, the worse I feel, the more issues come up,” She kept crying, and telling him everything she hated about herself as rubbed her back, listening respectfully, until she was done, her sobbing subsided into crying then into hiccuping and sniffles, then to only sniffling. He lifted her head up to meet him, and smiled sadly at her.
“I think you, elle woods, are the most beautiful girl in the whole world, and I know it may not help to hear it from me right now, when your body feels so wrong, but you are beautiful, and I will spend every day of my life telling you that.“ he continued on with his words, telling her everything he loved about her, how she was always feminine to him, a woman to him.
He pulled her closer into his arms, and kissed her forehead. “Even Cis girls have these issues, you are beautiful, and we’ll get through it, okay?” He ran his fingers through her hair. “One day at a time, and I’ll be here for you. We don’t need to speed up at all, it’s all up to you.”
Elle sniffled, relaxing for the first time that night in his arms.
“I brought some food for you, if you’d like.” He motioned over to the bag he had brought in. “We can eat now, or not. We’ll go as fast or as slow as you’d like.”
She nodded, “I’d like that very much..”
And they did, they went with the pace she set. Until she fell asleep; Emmett having a strong and secure hold on her as they slept.