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Yeo Jun lays on his bed, fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie. He glances at Nam Soohyun, who's tapping on his computer, doing some work for a class Jun's not attending yet. The night is calm and peaceful, just the two of them doing nothing, just the way Jun likes it. Jun smiles at the sight of the older boy who looks so focused, his forehead lightly wrinkled by the effort. Jun can't help but find it adorable. Then, finally, Soohyun shuts his laptop, streching his arms, revealing a bit of his lower back, which makes Jun's stomach lurch just the tiniest bit, and he quickly looks away.
"Hyung", he says. "Let's go for a walk."
"Why?" Soohyun replies, now looking at him.
"Just because", Yeo Jun whines, consealing the truth.
The thing is, Jun broke up with Kim Sobin about a month ago, and he still hasn't told Soohyun about it.
Sobin had suddenly called him one day, asking for them to meet. Jun had been so nervous walking to Sobin's place, wondering what the ominous call was about, and then Sobin had dropped the bomb.
"I think we should break up."
Jun had went completely still for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "What, why?" he had finally managed, fright in his voice.
"I think you know why", Sobin had said, smiling, but her eyes glistening a bit.
"You don't like me. Not like that", she had said then, matter-of-factly. "You like him."
Jun had been so stunned he couldn't say anything. He couldn't even deny her accusation, because it had came so suddenly, and it was true. Jun had suspected having a crush on Soohyun for quite some time, and lately he had become more and more sure of it.
Had he really been that transparent? Was it that obvious that Sobin-noona had noticed it? Jun had felt a terrifying thought creeping into his head, the thought that Nam Soohyun knew.
"Sobin-noona, I'm so sorry, I just..."
"There's nothing to be sorry about, Jun-ah." A single tear had rolled down Sobin's cheek. "It's okay."
Then, Jun had hugged her, trying to comfort the girl. "I do like you. A lot", he had said softly. "Maybe just not in that way. I'm sorry, noona, I'm sorry for being like this."
"Don't be. I'll get over you", she had said then, smiling through her tears. "But don't for a second think that I will leave you alone for good, Yeo Jun. I just need some time. Then we can be friends again."
Then, Sobin had dried her tears, gently patting Jun's hair. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you and I support you." she said, almost whispering.
Jun couldn't say anything to that, scared his voice would break, so he just nodded.
After that, her and Jun didn't spend all their time together anymore, but they still talked to each other and hanged around each other at the university, so after all, not that much had changed.
Sobin had tried to encourage Jun to confess his feelings to Soohyun, or at least telling him a part of the truth. However, Jun wasn't ready. When the older boy had already had such a hard time starting to like being around Jun, he wasn't going to say something to make the other boy resent him again. Not when he cares about his hyung as much as he does.
Today though, Jun is feeling more confident for some reason. He wants to tell Soohyun at least the smallest thing, about him and Sobin.
Jun and Soohyun are slowly walking away from the Youth Villa, and Jun can sense some tension in the air. Maybe it is just the confession Jun is about to make. Jun takes a deep breath after a while, looking at Soohyun.
"Sobin-noona and I broke up."
"What?" Soohyun says to that, confusion visible on his face.
"We... just realised we would be better off as friends."
"That doesn't make sense", Soohyun says blankly. "You like her so much."
"I do, but not like that."
"Jun-ah", Soohyun says then, worry in his voice.
"Are you okay? Break ups are hard, even if you end it in good terms", Soohyun says, surprising Jun with his thoughtfullness.
They sit down on a nearby bench, and Jun's mind is reeling. "I just... it's my fault." he sighs.
"Then go and fix it, Yeo Jun. Win her back."
"It's not really something I can... fix." Jun replies, fidgeting with his hands. "I guess you could say there's just something wrong with me", Jun says, laughing joylessly.
Before Jun can do anything, he feels Soohyun's hand on his chin, lifting his face to face him, impossibly gently.
"Look, Yeo Jun. There's nothing wrong with you, you hear me? Nothing", Soohyun says, and Jun's stomach is doing backflips. "Don't you ever think otherwise."
Soohyun's gaze is so solemn, his eyes so serious and gentle that Jun really can't take it any longer and something in him just snaps.
Jun surges forwards, pressing his lips on Soohyun's.
Soohyun is taken aback, and after a few seconds, he pulls away, far from Jun, leaving him blinking.
And then Jun realises what he has done. He looks at the expression of terror on Soohyun's face and realises that he has messed it all up.
"Hyung, I'm so sorry", Jun says, his voice cracking a bit, a choking feeling in his throat, his eyes burning. Before he starts to cry, Jun gets up and starts to run.
He can't go home, not when he knows that Soohyun can show up there any minute. He needs to get way from him, away from the horrified expression on his face that seems to be forever engraved in Jun's brain.
About twenty minutes later, he finds himself at Sobin's door, facing Youngran.
"Is Sobin-noona here?" Jun asks, knowing that he must sound and look weird at the moment, breathless from the running, his eyes probably a bit red from crying.
Youngran looks at him up and down, confusion clear on her face, but she doesn't say anything.
"Kim Sobin!" she yells, and then, Sobin is at the door.
"So let me get this straight. You told him about our break up. Then he comforted you and you kissed him. Then you left him, without him saying a word, and ran here." Sobin says when they've gotten outside and Jun has explained the whole story.
"...Yes", Jun says after a while, realising his own stupidity.
Sobin sighs. "Jun-ah. You need to go back to him, right now."
"I can't! You didn't see the look on his face. He must hate me, I can't believe I did that, I should've never... What is wrong with me?", Jun rambles hopelessly.
"Jun-ah. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Love is a beautiful thing and it doesn't matter what gender it is towards", Sobin says firmly. "And Soohyun-sunbae cares about you so much. He could never hate you."
"I-I don't think I can", Jun whispers.
"Jun-ah, you have to, at some point. And I'm like, 90% sure that he likes you as well."
Jun scoffs at that, because it is funny, really. He ignores the words. "Why can't I just stay at your place?"
"Are you out of your mind? The girls would never get over it! They probably think we're making out at some bush right now!" Sobin laughs, which is a good sign, showing that she can already joke about the matter.
"Just go home at least, you don't have to talk with him if you're not ready", she says, patting Jun on his shoulder, and with that, she waves goodbye and gets inside.
It's three in the morning when Jun finally makes his way back to their apartment. Soohyun is probably asleep, so Jun thinks he doesn't have to face the other until the next day. Jun takes a deep breath. Everything is fine.
Jun opens the door and his heart sinks. Soohyun is sitting on the floor, looking tired, but he is wide awake. Jun's eyes widen and he has the urge to take off again.
"Hey, Yeo Jun", Soohyun says then, his tone unreadable.
"Hyung, I-"
"Will you let me talk?", Soohyun says, now audibly annoyed, making Jun swallow.
"You can't just do that. You can't just kiss me and run away. Do you know-"
"I'm so sorry hyung, I don't know why I did it, I just-", Jun stutters.
"Gosh, you just won't let me talk, will you?", Soohyun sighs, the look in his eyes making Jun think he's about to be shouted at.
Instead, Soohyun get's up and pushes Jun against the wall. Jun doesn't have any time to assess the situation before Soohyun's lips are on his.
Jun's mind goes completely blank for a second, his eyes wide open, his mouth slack against Soohyun's. Then, Soohyun's hands grab Jun's hips, and Jun goes a bit light headed.
Oh.
Then, Jun is kissing the boy back, wrapping his arms around the other's neck, his shoulders, his back.
Soohyun bites on Jun's lower lip, just lightly enough to not hurt him, but hard enough to make Jun let out a soft moan he's not proud of. Then, Jun feels Soohyun's tongue against his own and his mind goes absolutely blank. The only thought inside his head is a rapid Soohyun, Soohyun, Soohyun, Soohyun, Soohyun.
Then, Soohyun pulls away, looking dazed, panting hard, his lips swollen and red. He blushes and looks away, stepping away from Jun at the same time.
Soohyun clears his throat, unable to look at Jun, his ears bright red, and even though Jun is so turned on at the moment, he finds it absolutely adorable.
"Yeo Jun", Soohyun says after a while, and Jun thinks he wants to hear the older boy call his name like that forever.
"I like you", Jun blurts out, unable to keep it in when Soohyun's looking at him like that. The look on Soohyun's face is something Jun never wants to forget. His eyes go wide, and then, he's smiling, straight up grinning, brighter than Jun has ever seen before.
"Me too. I like you", Soohyun says, still grinning, and despite the kiss, Jun can't believe his ears.
Then, Jun pulls the other into a hug, and they've hugged before, but this is something different. Their bodies are pressed flush together, Jun's hands caressing Soohyun's shoulders, Soohyun's hands on Jun's lower back, and Jun thinks he never wants to let go.
Jun looks up at Soohyun, getting a rush of confidence, and he kisses him again. Then they're properly kissing again, and despite the flips Jun's stomach makes every time Soohyun' s tongue brushes his lower lip, Jun feels comfortable. Jun smiles into the kiss, and they slowly pull apart.
"Let's go to sleep", Soohyun says, pressing a soft kiss on Jun's lips.
Jun wakes up early in the morning confused about where he is, until the reality hits him. He finds himself in Soohyun's room, his bed to be exact, and the memories from just a couple of hours ago flood his mind, making him blush. Soohyun is wrapped around him, his arm on Jun's waist and their legs tangled together, and even though Jun isn't a morning person, he smiles.
"Good morning", Soohyun says right next to Jun's ear in a low voice that makes Jun shiver all over.
"Are you cold?" Soohyun asks, sounding genuine.
"No, I'm good", Jun replies, flustered.
"Then why'd you shiver like like that?" Soohyun asks, and now Jun can hear the teasing in his voice.
"Hyung!" Jun whines, turning around to face the other. "You're insufferable."
"You like me", he says with a smirk, and Jun is so overwhelmed he hides his face in Soohyun's neck. Jun can't believe that he actually gets to lay next to Soohyun like this, gets to see him smiling and teasing him.
"Hyung, are we...", Jun starts in a more serious tone.
"Dating?" Soohyun asks quietly. "Yes. I mean, if you want to."
"I do", Jun says, facing the other boy, and Soohyun looks so incredibly cute with his bangs covering his eyes a bit, his cheeks and ears blushing.
"You're so cute", Jun says, unable to stop himself.
Soohyun snorts at that. "Says you."
Jun can't help grinning. He's just so happy, so so happy to be with Soohyun, be open with him, be honest for once. Never in his life would he have imagined that Soohyun feels the same way about him.
Soohyun looks at him with a fond smile. He ruffles Jun's hair, knowing that the hair is a sensitive spot for him, he is extremely gentle.
"You know, I really though there was something wrong with me for liking you, and for... liking boys", Jun says quietly, almost a whisper.
"I did, too. When I realised I like boys as well, I freaked out", Soohyun admits in a low voice. "But then I got past it. And you will too", he says, rubbing soothing circles on Jun's back with his thumbs. "Just know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with loving, nothing wrong with you", Soohyun says firmly, and it reminds Jun so much of what Sobin had said that he feels like crying all of a sudden.
"I know", Jun whispers, hugging the other boy tighter. "Thank you."
"Of course. From now on, I'm here for you. Always", Soohyun says.
They lay like that, in comfortable silence and Jun feels at ease. Finally, he has someone who understands him and his feelings. Someone who is so different from him but still so much alike.
Jun is sure that he never wants to leave the other boy.
"Alright, let's get some more sleep", Soohyun says softly after a while, pulling Jun even closer, and like that, they drift to sleep.