Work Text:
“Hey, how hard do you think it is to help a dense idiot see that someone is clearly flirting with them?
No, that'd be a misrepresentation, sorry.
How hard do you think it is for two dense idiots to realize that the other is pining for them, because one of them is too tsun to admit to anything, and the other is as dense as a tungsten brick?
I'll tell you, it's absolutely nigh impossible.
It's hard enough to get two people to understand they like each other, but when one of them actively refuses to see it and the other has the emotional capacity of a trash can?
Yeah, you understand the issue, I think.
Heck, I like slow burn from time to time, but some things are genuinely just too ridiculous.
How do you even be both a tsun and the only person flirting, anyway? Isn't that a straight contradiction? I'm pretty sure that’s an illegal concept.
I may be one of the youngest members of the Silvermane guards, but if even I can tell that this is infuriatingly stupid, something is horribly wrong.
Then again, it might just be because I…
No, nevermind, you don't have to worry about it. I'm just of a higher emotional capability, there's a reason I'm skilled.
But forget that, you know the other day, I was just at a cafe reading, and Miss Rand and Ms Seele walked in! But you know what Miss Rand did? She called me over to join them! I don't know if she’s doing this on purpose or what, but Miss Seele was positively fuming.
Of course, I completely understood, I mean, she gave me such a glare I thought she read one of-
I mean, she umm… Probably just really didn't want me there, yeah?
I did whisper in her ear that I could tell though, and I wished her good luck. She turned red and hastily whispered back that it was nothing like that.
I didn't pursue it any further, but I do remember someone looking like they wanted to kill me. And it wasn't Miss Rand.”
“Pela, you don't need to omit the fact that you've done a commissioned story on them before.”
…
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
Pela and Serval sat in Serval’s workshop, with Pela complaining about her job (she's happy with her job, but the romance makes her want to kill someone) and Serval composing scores.
“If you're so worried about their love life, why don't you just tell Bronya directly that Seele is way into her?”
“Because this is really good material, as infuriating as it is.”
“Writers are the bane of society.”
“I do a lot of work at my job, this is payment enough for overtime.”
“You have a terrible outlook on this.”
“I am the most qualified person to agree with that. And I do.”
Serval shook her head in disappointment at her drummer’s stupid antics.
Pela was on break, but she had a rough time ahead of her, after all, the new guardian of Belobolg had requested she replace her for the meeting with Seele next, as Bronya had her own work to do.
“Oh, you're one of the best analysts, you'll bring about the best for both the underworld and the surface, don't worry, I have full trust in you.” Bronya had told her.
Pela, of course, was less than excited.
“Miss Seele is going to kill me. I'm interrupting her time with Miss Rand, Serval, be ready to replace my role in the band please.”
“Don't be so morbid, just do your work.”
“I don't want to do my work, I want to write about them having a passio-”
“I'll cut you off there.”
Pela slumped on the table and pulled her hat more over her head, covering even her eyes as she let out a painful sigh.
“I'm not even technically qualified to do that job, I work for the knights, not the diplomacy team!”
“That just shows how much Bronya trusts you.”
“I don't want to go to the meeting.”
“That would reflect that you're irresponsible, and Bronya’s trust in you will also reflect that.”
“By the way, what time is it now?”
“2.50.”
“Oh shit I need to be there in 10 minutes.”
“Have fun, come back in one piece.”
“I'll do my best.”
___________________
‘I stared at her, and she stared back at me.’
Pela scribbled things in her notebook that was under the table.
Seele looked mildly pissed off, as Pela had expected, and with the silence that hung in the air, Pela knew she had to make the first move.
“Alright, since we’re here, let's proceed with the elephant in the room.”
Seele merely gestured at Pela to go on.
“Clearly, I think the main issue that's halting the further progress of the underground and the surface is your current relationship with Miss Rand.”
Seele was about to continue gesturing, but suddenly looked up.
“What?”
“I said, your relationship with Miss Rand.”
Seele blushed red. “Did she set you up for this?”
“Of course not, but I mean, she's dense as hell, we're going to need to plan things out. Do you understand?”
“But like- I-”
Seele stumbled over her words, trying to form up a proper response, while Pela pulled out a screen with slides prepared.
“What I’m trying to say is, pardon my crude language, but Belobolg will become significantly better if you two just fucking get together already.”
Seele seemed shaken, I wonder why.
“So, let's take a look at Miss Rand’s entire schedule, inclusive of locations of places that she goes to on the regular.”
“Are you a stalker?”
“I only wish for the best of both our respective homes.”
“This is just an excuse to stalk her, isn't it?”
“Miss Seele, I need you to look closer at the schedule.”
“It's one line.”
“Exactly, it really doesn't take any sort of stalking to know her schedule, it's the same every single day.”
“Ah.”
“So what you can do is free up your time every day around this time.” Pela pointed to a certain section.
“But wouldn't that mean I'd intrude on her rest?”
“Ah, I understand. Well, I expected this, so here is an audio recording that I'd like to share.”
“Alright, this is just straight up stalking.”
“Miss Rand shared it with me of her own free will. I asked a question, and she answered. I just so coincidentally happened to have my audio recorder on.”
“Isn't that illegal?”
“Do you want to hav- improve your relationship with Miss Rand or not?”
“It's not like that at all!”
“You've been flirting with her for the past 3 weeks! Everyone in Belobolg knows that!”
“Is it that obvious!?”
“Have you not checked any online board recently?”
“I don't dare, once I read a whole story about me and Bronya doing-”
“Oh.”
“Do you know who-”
“No.”
Pela managed to maintain her poker face.
“Regardless, you essentially have no more image in the eyes of most of the public other than ‘head over heels for Ms Rand’, so the best case scenario in this situation would be to just do what you want to.”
“Fine, we can do the thing, but delete the audio recording.”
“Are you sure? It’s pretty private.”
Seele took a few moments to process the information.
“You know, I-”
“If it's private, all the more it should be deleted.”
“Actually, maybe-”
Seele calmly took the recorder out of Pela’s hands and manually deleted the recording.
“Alright, that works as well.”
Seele rubbed her temples while sighing to herself.
“You're a horrible individual, you know that?”
“Of course I know. I gave up my humanity when I took this job, if I still had it I think I would go insane because of how blatantly obvious one person is.”
“Oh shut up. So what’s your grand plan then?”
“Simple, you ask her out more, not to work, but just to spend time.”
“And how would you go about doing that?”
“Start off under the pretext that you're doing work, then slowly just cut the work off under the guise of rest, then just take all of it off and then passio- I mean ask her out.”
“What was that part before the-”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“You're insufferable, but oddly efficient.”
“I'm good at my job, that's all.”
“Yeah, you're really infuriating.”
“I am aware, text her now so we can get this over and done with.”
“Sure, I guess.”
“Do it tomorrow so she won't suspect anything from me.”
“You give the most risky advice, then immediately cover your ass. How am I not supposed to hate you?”
“I gave up being a decent person in order to achieve more efficiency. I have more work to do.” Pela shrugged.
“Alright, I'll do it.”
“Good. I hope everything goes well, because there's no way I'm following you on your date.”
“Please don't say that.”
“I only speak what is correct.”
“Still insufferable.”
And there the meeting concluded.
_______________________________
One week later, Pela showed up to work, as she usually does, and was met with the guardian of Belobolg, standing in front of her desk.
“Miss Rand, what brings you here today? Did you need a really specific document about the history of our planet again?”
“I already said, that was the Trailblazer asking for help. But no, I don't need a random document today.”
“Let me guess. Do you want to see one of our performances?”
“That wasn't the original intent, but now that you mention it, I don't see why not.”
“Is it to do with making me do your job again?”
“Well, I suppose?”
“Alright, so you asked Seele after last week’s meeting, and she said something slightly positive about me, or she seemed generally happier around you, and you inferred that it meant I was doing a good job, because Seele became more receptive and asked you to go out more in order to work on the future of our city, and so you naturally inferred that it meant I was doing a good job, and so you want me to do this week’s meeting as well?”
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re completely correct.”
“Great, because I already expected that, and scheduled a meeting beforehand in my schedule so it wouldn't get in the way of anything. 3pm later?”
“Sometimes I wish all my subordinates were as analytic as you are.”
“It comes with the job. And the other job as well.”
“Does being a drummer need analytic skills?”
“You picked the one job that didn't need it.”
“You work more jobs?”
“Ah. Forget you heard anything. The last one is considered a hobby, not a job. I haven't earned anything from it. Nope, not once.”
“I… see. Alright then, I’ll just leave you to it. Have fun or something.”
“You push extra work onto me, then ask me to have fun? I'm good at my job, I'm not a workaholic!”
“Alright, alright, point taken, I'll give you a bonus this month.”
“You better.”
_______________________
‘Her stare was less sharp, but still had a slight distaste towards me in it.’
Pela pushed up her glasses, and asked “So?”
“So what?”
“How's it going, idiot.”
“Not too bad, I guess.”
“That's great, but give specifics so I know how to help.”
“Like you've got more relationship experience.”
“Oh shut up, I'm single by choice.”
“Haha, you're pretty funny when you aren't being your scheming self.”
“Rude, but point taken.”
Seele leaned back on her chair as Pela took her notebook to above the table.
“She’s been receptive, to say the least.”
“Funny, Miss Rand said the exact same thing about you. Who knew just communicating more would lead to good outcomes?”
“Do you want to hear what's been happening or do you want to make your stupid sarcastic comments?”
“Alright I’ll be quiet now,”
“Great, so before I was interrupted, I said that she was receptive, but she keeps genuinely thinking about work.”
“She would do that, yeah.”
“I asked her out to a cafe but she actually brought her work to do with me!”
“I did tell you she would do that.”
“Oh yeah, you did.”
“So did you forget to lull her into a rest from working a lot.”
“... yeah.”
“Please try to remember the things I've said, we need this to go faster.”
“I concede in this case, it is my fault this time.”
“You are unbelievably stupid.”
“You're still irritating as usual.”
“It's an important character trait of mine.”
“Fine. Same time next week?”
“Before you go, have you considered not bringing her to the exact same surface cafe?”
“But the underground cafes are-”
“The ones you're more used to, isn't that right? Share the things you love with her, why don’t you?”
“Again, you give actually really good advice.”
“As I've said before, it comes with the job.”
___________________
“Serval, she's improving, is this what a parent looks like when their child gets older?”
“You're speaking about Seele, please don't refer to her as your child.”
“She's becoming less stupid, Serval, I'm so happy.”
“Good for you, but could you please not treat the two great leaders of our civilisations as your own stories?”
“She's doing so well.”
“Snap out of it, idiot.”
“She got Bronya to rest on her shoulder, Serval, she managed to get the world’s densest piece of tungsten to reciprocate.”
“That is actually pretty impressive, alright I get it.”
“I know, it's amazing, I'm going to celebrate with her next meeting.”
“And when would that be?”
“5 minutes.”
“Are you not going to be late at this rate?”
“I can run slightly faster now to accommodate all the stupid shit those two put me through, but I'll leave now, I guess.”
“Have fun, and good luck.”
___________________________
‘She looked very happy, I could tell from the bright glimmer in her eyes.’
Pela just wrote out what she saw, no need to hide it from Seele anymore.
“So how was it?” Pela asked with a smirk on her face.
“What is it, I wonder?” Seele responded back.
“Oh no need to brag, you made good progress! Come here!” Pela stretched out her arms.
Seele, a lot larger than Pela, grabbed her and spun around a few times, the two of them laughing the whole way.
“I really have you to thank for all of this, don't I?”
“Cash or cheque, take your pick.”
“Ah, even during celebrations, you're still insufferable.”
“As I said, standard character trait. But we shouldn't celebrate so soon, we have the next step to consider.”
“That being?”
“I mean, actually making it a thing, right?”
“Oh.”
“Did you forget that you can't exactly have a relationship without starting it?”
“You do raise a good point.”
“This isn't an argument, this is common sense.”
Pela sat down again, and tidied up her clothes.
“Currently, how would you say your current status with Miss Rand is?”
“We’re close enough for physical contact like, you know.”
“Are you close enough to get drunk?”
“what.”
“It's a very valid question.”
“I suppose so?”
“Alright. Next, would you rather it be private or public?”
“Private, definitely. I don't want to cause too much drama anywhere.”
“Very logical. Alright, when do you want to do this?”
“Shouldn't you be saying something like ‘be as efficient as possible, do it tomorrow?’”
“I like efficiency, but I don't rush relationships, idiot. You only do that when you're ready.”
“That's the most understanding statement I've ever heard you say.”
“Wow, you're hilarious.”
“Thank you.”
“But please. Take your time, only do it when you know that you're 100% ready. I know I've been rushing you, and I feel slightly bad for forcing you so much, but from now, it's your own decisions.”
“So what you're saying is-”
“Oh I won't show up to these meetings anymore, you take it from here. Have fun.”
“So I’ve graduated?”
“I suppose so, congratulations, invite me to your wedding when it happens.”
“I cannot describe my appreciation for you.”
“Don't bother, just do what you need to. Goodbye.”
Saying that with a flourish, Pela walked out of the room, leaving Seele behind with her thoughts.
______________________
“Why would you just leave it at that though?”
“I think it'll be best if Seele figures all this stuff out on her own, I don't think she should rely on me too much, it has to have her own style, you know?”
“No I get that but like, wouldn't this be good material for you?”
“My job is significantly more important than my hobby.”
“Remind me again how much you were paid.”
“Nnnn. Don't put it like that, I've accepted that that's how it will be.”
Pela rested her head on the table, while Serval tinkered around with a robot.
“How long do you think it will take?”
“A few months, give or take. Maybe weeks if someone's feeling confident.”
“Well, I suppose it's nice to end a story on a good note for once.”
A bell rung, and Gepard walked into the store.
“Sis- Oh, and Pela! Perfect! I have to ask you both something, what does it mean when someone asks you if ‘it hurt your pretty face falling from heaven’?”
Pela slammed her fist down on the table while looking up.
“Die in a ditch!”