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Yujin thinks that their behavior is stupid, or, better to say, they are stupid.
But really, he’s even quite mad at both of them for thinking of him as the kid, as the maknae, who doesn’t understand the lingering gazes, or yearning stares, or mischievous smiles that the two of his hyungs share when nobody is looking. When they think nobody is looking, Yujin wants to say, because, really, Hao-hyung and Hanbin-hyung are not as good at hiding as they want to be.
So yeah, Yujin is mad, sue him.
And don’t get him wrong: he actually likes being maknae. He enjoys the way everyone in the group allows him to choose their dinners or movies for movie nights. He likes getting praise from Jiwoong-hyung and sarcastic comments from Ricky-hyung (because he knows, they are actually full of love). Yujin loves the way no one’s ever mad at him for being sassy, letting him say his harmless remarks. And it’s nice to receive encouraging comments from Hao-hyung during their group discussions so that he knows that other group members respect his ideas and intelligence.
And this exactly is the thing that leads Yujin to his current problem. He knows he’s smart, respected, and has eyes, so why would Hao-hyung say:
“Yujin-ah, we were just cooking breakfast!”
At the same time as Hanbin-hyung with a horrified expression on his face says:
“Hao-hyung had something on his face!”
There is this awkward pause as Zhang Hao gives Hanbin the most giant judging side eye Yujin has ever seen – and it’s a big deal, considering he is friends with Gyuvin, – and Yujin wants to snort and laugh and run to other members to gossip but. He is mad, so he stays still eyeing his hyungs with what he hopes is a disappointed look on his face. Judging by the red that is slowly coloring Hanbin’s and Hao-hyung’s necks, cheeks, and ears, it does work.
Okay, so this is what actually happened.
It’s their first real weekend in god knows how long, so everybody’s plan was only this one thing – get as much sleep as possible. And as Yujin woke up this morning, it seemed that that was exactly what his group mates were doing. The room Yujin was sharing with Gyuvin and Ricky was dark and the two boys were deep asleep, even though it was almost 10 am. (Yujin is not judging. He would’ve slept more, but his body definitely was having other plans.) He went to sleep really late after long training and declined Jiwoong’s offer to cook him something, which earned him a frown from Zhang Hao. But he was too tired to move, so eating was definitely out of the question, even if the decision did make him feel guilty for disregarding his hyungs.
Now that he thinks about it, that wasn't his best decision. The first thing he thought about after getting out of bed was food. Maybe if he's really lucky he'll find some leftovers Jiwoong always puts in the fridge. Yujin doesn't think long before dressing up and going on his food hunt. Except, when he walks into the kitchen his appetite quickly disappears, and instead he gets the weirdly sickening feeling that pops up every time he sees his hyungs acting cutely.
(Which is getting unbearable often.)
Sung Hanbin's back is facing Yujin, so he doesn't see him going into the kitchen. They aren't even doing anything criminal: Hanbin is pressing Zhang Hao into the kitchen counter, his face hidden in the crook of Zhang Hao's neck, his hands gently holding Zhang Hao's waist; Zhang Hao's chin is resting on Hanbin’s shoulder, his eyes closed and face visibly relaxed. His hands are lightly stroking Hanbin’s back, and the whole moment feels like it was meant only for the two of them. The swirl of feelings inside Yujin's chest gets only bigger, the awkwardness slightly overpowering anything else, and he wants to leave, scared to ruin their morning.
Yujin is not even that hungry, really. He can always come back later, when everyone else wakes and Jiwoong will be kindly suggesting to cook something fresh. He is just making his move to leave the kitchen and go back to hiding under his covers Zhang Hao opens his eyes as if he felt the presence of someone else. Their eyes meet, and if Yujin didn't feel so awkward he would have laughed at the expression that appeared on Zhang Hao's face. His hyung lets his hands slowly drop down from where they were resting on Hanbin's back, which definetely makes the other boy unhappy, judging by the way he moves to look at Zhang Hao. Yujin can clearly see the silent conversation that is going on before Hanbin actually understands what's happening and slowly turns his whole body to look at Yujin.
That's the moment when the dumb excuses are flying out of their mouths, and Yujin is fighting with the urge to roll his eyes, considering that would be kind of disrespectful. But really, who says "We were cooking breakfast", when the stove is off and there is no food lying around? The whole kitchen looks as neat as it was since the last time Guyvin and Ricky cleaned it after their disastrous attempt at baking. And that sentence that Hanbin said about something being on Hao-hyung's face? Are they in a drama or something? Yujin thinks they really need to work on their explanations, because it's getting ridiculous.
Yujin clears his throat, breaking the atmosphere, and tired of watching their crimson-red faces.
"Good morning, hyungs. So where is the breakfast?" He asks, moving closer to the table as if saying to them that he is in fact hungry and would like to eat something, thank you very much.
The expressions on their faces are pricelessly dumbstruck, it’s kind of funny because it doesn’t happen every day when Yujin is acting so bitter. But it’s actually them who started the whole deal and made the situation seem to be bigger than it was. So sure, if they want to hide then Yujin is clearly going to play along, even if it might make Zhang Hao and Hanbin blush even harder (and here he thought it was impossible) and the signs of guilt appear on their faces.
But this comment also seems to awaken some thought processes, because they both start moving, without even sparing each other a glance. They are unsurprisingly synchronized, Hanbin on his way to turn the stove on and Zhang Hao moving closer to the fridge, looking for something edible and not hard to make. The two suddenly appear to be productive, men on mission, flawlessly moving around the kitchen, while looking for kitchen utensils.
Yujin can't find it in himself to stay in his sour mood when they both turn around to look at him.
"Yujin-ah, what do you want to eat?" His hyungs ask almost at the same time as if there's someone in their heads reminding them to speak and move on cue.
Ah, Yujin thinks, soulmate things.
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The day goes on like this: after the Dumb and Awkward Morning Interaction as Yujin calls it in his head they eat breakfast – scallion pancakes, courtesy of Zhang Hao, and reheated leftover rice that was still delicious. Once the smell of food spreads through their dorms the other members started gathering around the table, the last one being a very sleepy Gyuvin, who gets a small head pad from Zhang Hao. When finally all of them are in the kitchen the usual chaos ensues: Gyuvin, Ricky, Taerae, and Gunwook are laughing at something Yujin is sure is not that funny, Jiwoong and Zhang Hao making coffees together at the counter, smiling softly as they discuss the plans of the day. Matthew is also not fully woken up yet, judging by the concerned look on Hanbin’s face, who is trying to decipher whatever his sleepy friend is muttering in Konglish.
It’s a familiar and comfortable sight for Yujin and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Although being the maknae of ZeroBaseOne sometimes feels like having 5 annoying older brothers and three additional parent figures, he supposes it's really nice.
After that, he is dragged into the conversation by sulky Gyuvin, who’s poorly losing some argument against Ricky and needs a backup. Yujin doesn’t thinks he is that useful, but it is nice to be included. The thought leaves him with a bitter aftertaste, reminding him of the earlier situation, but he quickly dismisses it, and soon finds himself also laughing at some stupid thing Ricky says.
He is not thinking about morning the whole day; not when they go out for a walk and he sees, how Zhang Hao and Hanbin intentionally keep their distance from others, whispering at each other; not when they start a game match on their dorm console and Zhang Hao and Hanbin just sit there together on the what's called Loveseat, looking at them with soft gazes. Yujin is even not sure why he is so worked up, seeing how none of the other members are paying them any attention.
Maybe that's the reason for the early retreat to his room as everyone plans to watch some movies. Everyone thinks it's their responsibility to ask him if he's tired or if he's okay, but he just shrugs their worried glances and smiles the biggest smile and says that he's fine, just wants to call his mom for a bit. He feels Zhang Hao's stare as he escapes the room.
Somehow he feels even worse now that he's alone in his room, the beds of Gyuvin and Ricky in chaos and empty. It's actually their weekly bonding time, when they spend some time with each other, watch movies or laugh at dumb jokes. Yujin feels a little bit guilty for ditching Hanbin’s effort, but it's not like he lied – he really plans on calling his mom.
It's when he almost finishes his call, spending a good hour talking to his mom and telling her all the memorable moments that happened to him in the last weeks, he hears the door to the room opening. At first he thinks it's Gyuvin or Ricky, but it's not, which should be expected: it's not even 12 AM. The person who enters the room is Zhang Hao; he is already in his pajamas with red pandas that Yujin thinks are a bit childish. Zhang Hao silently steps into the room and sits on the floor, back to the bed. He lays his head on the sheets and looks at Yujin who is sitting on the bed with his big and amused eyes. The upside-down sight of his hyung is funny so he cackles interrupting his mom's speech.
"Is there someone with, Yujin-ah?" his mom asks, clearly catching on that she lost his attention.
"Ah, sorry, Mom," he sends some death glares at Zhang Hao, who only smiles a bit harder. "It's Hao-hyung."
"Oh, say hi to him!"
"Okay. Mom, I think I need to go," he replies. Hurriedly, he adds, "Love you. Sleep tight!"
She whispers the same things back and at the end adds how proud of him she is. Hearing it from his mom always wakes up some weird mix of emotions, which he couldn't name even if he wanted. Yujin drops his phone on the bed and moves closer so he can look Zhang Hao in the eyes.
"Mom says hi to you." he declares. Zhang Hao raises his head and turns so that he can see Yujin from the floor better, a scandalized look on his face.
"Yah, Yujin-ah! You should've said it while still on the phone!" He sounds so offended, that Yujin scoffs. Zhang Hao pokes his cheek. "Don't make this face at me. Now your mom will think that I'm uncultured."
At his hyung's whining Yujin answers with an eye roll, still unsure how Zhang Hao can be so unserious at times.
"You have her number," he reminds. "You can actually write her any time. Which I know you do."
"Okay, you kinda caught me there." He raises his hands up as if he pleads guilty, but the mischievous look on his face says all Yujin wants to know. As a minute or so passes and they end their laughing fit, Zhang Hao's face gets more serious, as he remembers why he came to Yujin in the first place. "Hey, come sit here with hyung?"
Ah, Yujin assumes while he gets down on the floor and sits next to Zhang Hao. It's time for The Talk.
"Are you okay?" Zhang Hao asks instead of what Yujin expected him to ask. "You seemed off, I guess. Since the em, the morning."
Oh. The thing about Zhang Hao Yujin somehow managed to forget is that his hyung is really perceptive and empathetic. Despite his attitude and flirty behavior he often caughts on their group member's mood swings or if someone is feeling unwell; he never attacks you with questions and never pressures into doing something you are not comfortable with. Zhang Hao may look like he left you alone, but he always finds a subtle way to make you feel better; to make you feel cared for. So it's kind of Yujin's fault for assuming Zhang Hao to be so in love with Hanbin to not notice Yujin's sulking.
"I'm fine." He decides to answer because he is. But under the careful and soft gaze of Zhang Hao, it feels like not the whole thruth. So he voices his concerns like an adult he wants to be. "I'm upset because of your and Hanbin-hyung's behavior this morning."
Zhang Hao's face suddenly goes white and he looks so so sad. Yujin regrets opening his mouth. God, being an adult is hard.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry for making you uncomfortable." Zhang Hao says hiding his face in his knees. His voice sounds like he is close to tears. Yujin thinks there is some miscommunication. Did he say something wrong? Should he call for Hanbin or Jiwoong? He thinks it'll be his plan B.
"Hyung, this morning was really awkward, but it's not because of what you were doing." Yujin clarifies. Zhang Hao is still not looking at him, but he's definitely paying attention to whatever Yujin says. "It's just the way you handled everything. Like, I know I'm the youngest and can be not that attentive, but I'm not blind. And your excuses were dumb, by the way. You obviously need to work on that, if you both are going to act so stupid every time someone catches you hugging or kissing or whatever else you are doing. But I don't think it's a good idea to be acting like no one knows that you are dating or crazy in love..."
"Huh?" Zhang Hao suddenly raises his head to look at Yujin, who is still rambling and not paying any attention to the way his hyung's face went from white to bright red in the span of seconds.
"I was just upset because you treated me like some dumb kid. Or someone who you don't trust." Yujin finished his rant and meets Zhang Hao's eyes. He looks even worse than before Yujin started his explanation, his ears, cheeks, and neck painted red. Is this a time for plan B?
"Yujin-ah, wait, let's go a couple of steps back," Zhang Hao says, regaining his composure. Yujin only nods trying to understand what made him so red. "Firstly, I'm sorry again for the way everything went this morning. It was never our intention to make you feel like we don't trust you. You just caught us off guard," he makes a short pause here. "Since it was only a few days since we started dating and we really thought nobody knew."
Yujin nods taking the apology into consideration. It seems logical and he actually feels better knowing that it was just because this thing between them was new and they weren't ready to share it... Wait. Yujin actually squeaks (and he is not proud of that) and brings both his hands to cover his mouth. He is sure he looks so dumb right now.
"Hyung," he tries to find the words. "Are you saying you were not dating since like the middle of the show?"
It's Zhang Hao's turn to very short indescribable sound and looks absolutely shocked. Yujin would laugh so hard if he wasn't so bewildered.
"No!" He sounds close to hysterics, so Yujin reaches his hand to pat his hyung, not really sure if it brings any relief. Zhang Hao groans. "How many of you thought we were dating on the show?"
"Hao-hyung, i really hate to break it to you, but literally everyone and their dogs knows that you are in love." Yujin sighs and smiles suddenly understanding, how dumb the whole situation is and how much of information he gained just from one conversation. Gyuvin and actually everyone in the group would have a field day if they ever discover this stuff. "Did you really think you were being discreet?"
"Don't talk to me," Zhang Hao says instead of the real answer, but Yujin takes it as yes. "God, I'm so embarrassed."
"Hyung, don't be! Even if it took you so long, I'm happy that you are happy," he smiles and moves closer to Zhang Hao to put his head on his shoulder. Just because he feels like it, he adds, "And I completely understand that you were so oblivious to anyone. Hyungs are so in love."
"Yah!" Zhang Hao reacts to his teasing, but he actually doesn't sound mad or upset. "Yujin-ah. Thank you."
He doesn't get the explanation for why he deserves a "thank you", but he thinks he gets it.
"Thank you too, hyung. For trusting me. I'm feeling so special right now, being the first person you revealed your secret to."
"Oh, so you are back to being a mischievous brat instead of a sulky baby?" Zhang Hao asks tickling Yujin to the ground. Yujin laughs so hard from the unexpected attack that he can’t answer.
They stop laughing only when the door opens and confused Ricky and Gyuvin look at both of them with concerned expressions.
"Did we miss Yuehua bonding time or something?" Gyuvin asks as he moves closer to look at their red from laughing faces.
"It was more of 'misunderstandings solving' time if you ask me." Zhang Hao answers. Yujin adds:
"But it quickly turned to 'tease your Hao-hyung' time."
They don’t get an answer, only Gyuvin who puts his body on the other side of Zhang Hao and reaches his hand across his stomach to hold Yujin’s hand. Ricky silently walks to lie down on Yujin’s bed because it’s closer to where they are hugging on the floor and he is too proud to be caught participating in their embarrassing activities. (But Yujin knows that he secretly enjoys it too. Which means everyone in their group is bad with secrets.)
They lie there silently and Yujin almost falls asleep, surrounded by warmth and his hyungs that are so caring and kind. (Maybe he enjoys being maknae. But it’s a secret.)
He thinks he hears Hanbin-hyung’s voice at some point, whispering “Ah, there you all are.” Then there is some noise and some moving and he is being picked from his warm place near Zhang Hao, and put in bed. He tries to open his eyes to understand what is happening, but it’s dark and he is really sleepy, and someone who really sounds like Hanbin-hyung is whispering:
“Go back to sleep, my smart baby.”
“Yah, it’s our baby!” And maybe it’s Zhang Hao, but Yujin is not really sure that he is not dreaming already.
“Just get a room,” That’s definitely Ricky’s voice.
God, they all are so stupid, Yujin thinks as he finally falls back asleep. I’m so happy to have them.
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