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They are at the shooting for some Korean magazine the name of which slipped Matthew's mind. It's time for the solo posing, so other members are free to take a break in the dressing room.
Zhang Hao is doing great, looking absolutely comfortable in the flashing lights and obediently following the photographer's lead. Matthew finds it cool, the way his attitude changes the moment he steps on the photo set, instantly turning from flirty and teasing and kind hyung into the P01, the winner of Boys Planet and the official center of ZeroBaseOne Zhang Hao. The younger members seem to be a moral support group, looking closely at the photos that appear on the monitor.
"Wow, Hao-hyung is doing so great!" It's Gyuvin, who sounds teasingly and sincere at the same time. The comment seems to make Zhang Hao step out of the role for a second and he cracks a wide smile that is instantly captured by the photographer. And wow, the photo looks incredible. Zhang Hao's face is so lively and beautiful, his smile genuine and his eyes so full of love.
Hanbin will absolutely adore this photo, he thinks, smiling a bit to himself. But suddenly he is reminded why he needed that break. Hanbin is not here – not watching Zhang Hao being in the spotlight, not commenting every second on how great he's doing, and not cheering on every new photo that comes up on the screen. The younger members are doing just fine, filling up the absence of their leader, but somehow it still feels weird.
So naturally, Matthew has some things to investigate.
The first rule of every successful investigation (courtesy of Gyuvin): you need a plan. Easy, Matthew thinks. He silently brainstorms, while hugging Taerae and watching Zhang Hao professionally change poses every few seconds. He is finished by the time staff calls Jiwoong to pose with Zhang Hao for their unit shoot. He is suddenly distracted from his mission, because what the hell his hyungs look gorgeous together, even though Matthew doesn’t like how close they are standing to each other. They seem so comfortable sharing small smiles, but not awkward as it used to be; weirdly, it’s almost the other way around: they act cutely like they’ve been friends for years and not started holding normal conversations two weeks ago.
“Jiwoong-ssi, can you please look at each other right now?” the photographer asks suddenly and Zhang Hao and Jiwoong nod eagerly, quickly changing the poses. Matthew doesn’t like the soft gaze Jiwoong sends Zhang Hao’s way. He stops this train of thoughts right there, because why he’s even thinking about it? He needs to concentrate. Yeah, back to the Problem.
Matthew's Investigation Plan sounds like this:
Step 1: find Hanbin (he definitely should be somewhere on the set, most likely hiding in the break room)
Step 2: ask Hanbin if he’s fine (this can be tricky because sometimes Hanbin behaves like a secretive older sibling that pretend to not have any concerns)
Step 3: find out what’s happening between him and Zhang Hao
So yeah, easy. He can finish it in the next 10 minutes before Zhang Hao finishes his shoot (and Matthew can go back to bothering Jiwoong).
Matthew moves around the set, bowing to all the staff and managers and quietly checking break rooms. Most of them are full of resting make-up and hair stylists, so Matthew quickly retreats, sorry for bothering them.
He finds Hanbin rather accidentally: their group leader sits in the corridor on the plastic chair, sipping on what seems to be a latte he got from the nearby vending machine. He looks really concentrated on whatever he is doing on his phone, but his position seems to be relaxed enough. (Does it mean Matthew can skip the second step of his Plan? No, Matthew knows Hanbin better than that.)
“Hyung! There you are!” He tries to sound natural so that Hanbin won’t feel he’s being investigated. Hanbin looks up from his phone and smiles when he realizes who is it.
“Matthew-ya, are you already finished?” Hanbin asks, hiding his phone and motioning Matthew to sit near him.
“Nope, it’s Hao-hyung’s turn,” he says, and then adds, “He’s having a unit photoshoot with Jiwoong-hyung.”
He doesn’t know what reaction he expected from Hanbin, so he is not sure when Hanbin starts smiling even wider as if he’s not bothered at all about it. (Does it mean Matthew is weird if he’s bothered with how close Jiwoong was standing to Zhang Hao? It’s gonna be the problem for the Future Matthew.) “Oh, our hyungs are so cool, right? I’ll check it out in a bit.”
“Right, you do that,” Matthew says awkwardly. Is investigation always that awkward or is Marrhew just bad at it? He should ask Taerae after he’s finished, maybe he will have some advice on how to improve. “Are you fine, by the way?”
Hanbin looks at him with a smile in his eyes and a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, all good. Wanted to get me a coffee and rest for a bit,” Hanbin shares with him. “Sometimes it gets overwhelming, you know?”
“Yeah.”
They stay silent for a couple more minutes, Matthew thinking about how to continue the dialogue from here. The first two steps are finished; it’s time to move on to the last one. He knows he needs to be subtle, secretive. It’s important not to start with the main question, but rather prod carefully. He remembers all the times in their dorm when Zhang Hao kindly explained to him that he needs to be watchful of the things he says to all kinds of people, and especially in the lives and interviews. Matthew is really thankful for all those advice because right now he knows how to act.
Think first, say later.
“Hyung, did you and Hao-hyung have a fight or something?” He asks and Hanbin chokes on his latte. He starts coughing so hard that Matthew is scared for his life.
Shit, so much on following Hao-huyng’s tips. Really subtle and secretive, Seok Matthew.
“What? Why?” Hanbin doesn’t wait till the coughing stops before asking questions. He looks so shocked, that guilt suddenly fills Matthew’s insides. “Why would you even ask that?”
Now he sounds scandalized as if Matthew said the most stupid thing ever. Matthew scoffs. The audacity of this hyung, huh?
“Well, what should I think? You act all lovey-dovey since Boys Planet, glued at the hip, always staring longingly into each other eyes and holding hands and shit. And then boom: you are not by his side at the photo shoot? Not feeding him fruits? Not saying how beautiful he is and whatever sweet stuff you always say to him when you think nobody hears you. Here you are, sitting all alone while Hao-hyung is having his shoot with Jiwoong! And for your information, they were standing really close to each other. So of course I want to know what is happening!” Matthew finishes his ranting, noticing how he is now closer to crying than to being mad.
Hanbin looks at him with eyes wide open and with an unreadable expression, and well, maybe he deserves that look. Cause what the fuck was that? How did the subtle investigation turn into that? And why he’s so close to tears as if it’s his parents who are breaking up and…
Oh no…
“Wait! Did you two break up? Because that would be really sad…”
Suddenly Matthew feels how two arms wrap around his body and pull him closer. Oh, he is being hugged. Well, that escalated quickly. He feels Hanbing patting his hair and it feels as if they are back to their trainee days, the feeling so old and familiar.
“Is this okay, Mattchu-ya?” Hanbin asks softly. Matthew feels how the corners of his mouth move up as he hears the nickname. He nods, hiding his face in the crook of Hanbin’s neck.
Maybe it’s just a bad day, he thinks. Maybe it’s because of the tiredness that is sitting deep in his bones, weighing him down every day, only adding up with their every new scheduled shooting, recording, and training. Perhaps it’s because he finally feels like he found his place, in this team, and the possibility of it all changing or disappearing brings the anxiety back to his life when he finally thought he escaped her. (It definitely has something to do with him not wanting to understand what’s going on between him and Jiwoong, so he tries to distract himself with others’ problems.)
Maybe he just misses his times with Hanbin.
When Matthew feels like he is calm enough and he can look Hanbin in the eyes without wishing for the floor to swallow him up, he moves letting go of Hanbin. (If there are wet spots on Hanbin’s t-shirt where Matthew hid his face, nobody mentions it.)
“Well, there’s a lot to unpack here,” Hanbin says, smiling softly and ruffling Matthew’s hair. “Wanna talk about it?”
Matthew sighs. His answer is a definite “NO” in bold black letters, but he guesses he owes Hanbin some explanations.
“I’m sorry for dropping all that on you,” he starts. “I guess, this breakdown was long overdue and I kinda used whatever happened between you and Hao-hyung to unwind. It was unfair and I’m really sorry.”
It’s Hanbin’s turn to sigh.
“Then I'm also sorry.” Under Matthew’s confused look, he clarifies, “I’m sorry for not noticing sooner about how you felt. And,” he quickly adds, “before you start saying it’s not my job: it is. If not as ZB1’s leader, then as your best friend.”
“I’m your best friend?” Matthew asks surprised. Hanbin smiles.
“Yes? Who else?”
Matthew feels his cheeks reddening. “I kind of assumed Zhang Hao is your best friend.”
Hanbin laughs with his beautiful loud laugh as he hears that statement.
“Didn’t you say a couple of minutes ago that we broke up?” Hanbin asks with a raised eyebrow, continuing to look at Matthew with his teasing stare. “Doesn’t it make him my ex-boyfriend?”
Matthew groans and hides his face in his lap, embarrassed.
“By the way, for your information, we didn’t break up. And we didn’t fight.” Matthew doesn’t see Hanbin’s face, but he can swear he can hear that dumb smile he gets every time he talks about Hao-hyung in his voice. “We actually can spend some time apart, you know.”
Matthew scoffs and rises his head because that was a big fucking lie. “Whatever you say, Sung ‘Zhang Hao-hyung is the eternal half of my soul’ Hanbin.” He rolls his eyes, but then continues, “You actually make me nervous, when you suddenly stopped being so disgustingly sweet in front of everyone.”
Hanbin has some decency to blush at this.
“How do you even know we are dating?” After the incredulous look Matthew sends his way, Hanbin’s face turns even redder. “Actually, don’t answer that question. But maybe, we just learned how to act subtly.”
It’s Matthew’s turn to laugh loud and hard. Hanbin slaps his thigh, but it doesn’t really help. And Hanbin is not that good at being mad at him, so he joins in the laughing fit a couple of seconds later.
“Okay, fair. The thing is, we didn’t say anything to anyone, because this thing between us is kinda new. Oh, don’t look at me that way, we started dating a couple of weeks ago…”
“Weeks? My god, and here we all thought you’d been at it for months. Guess, hyungs are not that smart.”
“Yah, don’t interrupt me!”
“Yeah, sorry, continue, Hanbin-hyung.”
“So, we had some situation with Yujin some time ago and that is why we decided to act a little bit more discreet.”
Oh, that explanation really makes sense, Matthew thinks as he starts remembering the way Yujin was acting up to that evil maknae role whenever Hanbin and Zhang Hao were too close to each other.
“But you know, acting discreet won’t really help you,” Matthew says. “I mean, everyone already kind of knows that you are together or in love. If anything it can end the way it was with me today.”
“You are right,” Hanbin notes, suddenly looking more thoughtful than before.
“Maybe you should just let everyone come to you? The way Yujin and I did,” Matthew suddenly suggests. “That way he can have some fun while acting as disgustingly as you always do.”
“Wow, here he is, Mattchu I know!” Hanbin laughs and leans closer, so their shoulders touch. He really missed this.
“Can we make a bet on who will be the last one to get fed up by your lovey-dovey acting?”
“Only if you help me win the bet about you and Jiwoong-hyung,” Hanbin says, a mischievous note in his voice.
Remember how he said he missed Hanbin? Scratch that. Suddenly he misses his new best friend Taerae.
“I don’t know what you are talking about. Why there is even a bet about Jiwoong-hyung and me?” He tries to be angry, but he knows his comments are more defensive than he would like them to be.
“Really? You will deny it? After that thing you said about Jiwoong-hyung standing too close to Hao-hyung?” Matthew needs to get out of here. This conversation has nothing to do with his plan, so he needs to retreat now. “Are you gonna say you were acting all jealous on my behalf, Mattchu-ya?”
Okay, that’s enough embarrassment for one day. Matthew stands up abruptly, shaking Hanbin’s hands away from him. He lets him go, and Matthew hurries to return to the set. Maybe it’s already his turn to be photographed and he can finally forget about all that happened in the last half an hour.
“Such a good best friend you are, Mattchu-ya!” Hanbin shouts at his back, giggling like the bad hyung he is.
He meets Zhang Hao in the corridor, who’s most definitely looking for Hanbin, judging how he bows thankfully to all the staff, even though nobody has seen Hanbin. His face lights up when he sees Matthew.
“Matthew! Did you…”
“He is at the vending machines,” Matthew says hurriedly, the urge to find the other members growing drastically.
“Oh, thank you,” Zhang Hao says, surprised by how fast Matthew understands him. “It’s your…”
“My turn soon, I know, hyung, thank you!” Zhang Hao’s face changes to even more confused, so Matthew adds, “Good job on the set today! You and Jiwoong-hyung looked really good!” Why does he keep bringing Jiwoong up every time?
Zhang Hao’s smile turns from confused to more playful.
“Oh, I bet you liked Jiwoong-hyung more.”
Why is everyone suddenly on his case? It was his turn to investigate! So just because he is irritated and embarrassed, he decided to act like a brat.
“Have fun on your date with Hanbin-hyung!”
He runs before he can hear Zhang Hao’s answer.
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Hanbin knows it’s Zhang Hao the second he hears the steps getting closer to where he sits in his uncomfortable plastic chair. He locks his phone and gets up to catch Zhang Hao in his arms the second he sees him. Zhang Hao doesn’t react, as if he was expecting Hanbin to crush him in a hug from the get-go. His hyung just wraps his arms around Hanbin’s neck, softly stroking his nape. Hanbin lays his hands on his slim waist, still excited at the way he can wrap his fingers without any effort. He inhales the nice smell of Zhang Hao’s perfume and kisses his neck. They didn’t see each other for an hour, but Hanbin feels like it was days. Maybe he can understand why Matthew acted that way. Maybe they really are that sweet.
“Did you see Matthew on the way here?” He whispers softly.
“Yeah,” Zhang Hao answers, and Hanbin hears a smile in his voice. “What did you say to him to make him run like he had seen a devil?”
Hanbin’s body shakes with laughter as he listens to the question.
“I teased him about Jiwoong-hyung,” he answers honestly. He raises his head, so he can see Zhang Hao’s pout and kiss his plush lips.
“Yah, Bin-ah, teasing your dongsaengs left and right!”
“He knows about us,” Hanbin says, ignoring Zhang Hao’s comment.
“Oh,” he smiles and leans to kiss his nose. “Good. Five to go. Did he ask you?”
“He had a full-scale breakdown because he thought we broke up.”
“Poor baby,” Zhang Hao says, looking concerned.
“We solved all misunderstandings, don’t worry,” Hanbin announces, smiling proudly.
“Was it before or after you teased him about Jiwoong-hyung?”
“In between?” Hanbin asks sheepishly.
“I teased him too,” Zhang Hao confesses. “Maybe I should go take care of the poor baby Mattchu.”
“I’m your baby, Hao-hyung,” and what if he whines? Nobody’s here to judge him. “Take care of me.”
Zhang Hao rolls his eyes at his behavior, but Hanbin knows he doesn’t really mind. If anything, he quite likes it. (And if Hanbin is being honest he is far, far worse.)
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