Chapter Text
[Iskall85 descended to Hels.]
Iskall opened his eyes and sighed, adjusting the shulkerbox under his arm.
His comm screen went black the minute he landed, and he took a look around. Shadowed walls, red cobbled streets, and a faint sense that this place was far emptier than it was supposed to be. Hels was like an old, rotting city mouldering in a barren desert- a city where the main industry had dried up decades ago, leaving only those who couldn’t afford to flee clinging to the rotted bones of the corpse.
Iskall passed by a building where every window had been kicked out, and nobody had bothered to replace any of them. On Hermitcraft, unless a hermit was going for such a look deliberately, such a thing would never be allowed to stand. He paused by it, mind already racing- the brick was a good look, and he could mix in some granite and stairs to accentuate the crumbling. Replace all the windows- an afternoon’s tinkering, and he could have that building shining…
…but he didn’t have any guarantee that it’d stay nice after he left.
Iskall sighed and kept walking.
He strolled by a lawn with five rotted old machines sitting on the invasive green grass, rusting. The entropy of ages, the lack of will to change them. All presided over by the cold red sun, high, high in the bloodred sky above.
He rubbed his forehead, heart heavy, and set off down the street. It wasn’t a far walk- She’d fiddled with his comm, to give him an edge when entering this horrible place, to set his personal spawnpoint a bit closer to. Iskall reached up and fidgeted with his other ‘edge’- a silver necklace on a chain, with a huge sapphire embedded in the middle. It pulsed with sickly magic, making him feel faintly uncomfortable every second he had it on.
But it was necessary.
Eyes leered at him from every shuttered window, from every darkened alley, and Iskall ignored all of them. Now, a left here, and then to the ruins of what had once been quite a nice park.
The park was overgrown with Hels’ endangered purple grasses and purple plants, a riot of unnatural colour that Iskall ignored. It was…depressing to think that this ragged, shabby garden was one of the last holdouts of the native flora, and all because of Her vanity…
In the middle, a dead old tree, gnarled and twisted, was his target. A shadow passed over the sun, and Iskall looked up to see a single black cloud obscuring the feebly glowing sun. Even with the cloud, the air didn’t get any warmer- a cold light for a cold world.
As soon as he stepped into the garden, the pendant around his neck lit up like a firework, glowing a strange, sky blue- a sickly parody of the Overworld’s comforting blue skies, a bright light that caused stuff in the ground around him to sink back into the soil. Stuff like wicked-looking pitcher plants, nasty white mushrooms, spiky flower bushes… And they sank back into the well-watered soil.
Still. He wasn’t totally out of the woods.
Iskall sighed as he hopped from rock to rock along the overgrown path of purple grasses. Stepping off the marked path was a…poor idea, considering where he was going. But his heart was too heavy to really dwell on it too much, and with a few more hops between the gulfs of grass, he was standing at the tree’s front door.
Iskall pounded his fist into the wood three times, shoulders slumping. Three knocks, and no more.
And he waited.
The door opened, caught by a chain, and a pair of yellow eyes peered out of the darkness.
“Well,” the voice inside said, “You look like shit.”
Iskall snorted, rubbing his face. He nodded.
“Yeah. Can we…can we talk?” He croaked.
“Payment first.” She snapped, and Iskall sighed and plonked the shulker on the ground, opening it up.
“Twenty-seven buckets of water. As requested. Can I come in now?”
The door slammed, and Iskall waited patiently for the chain to be undone, and for the snapping of the bear traps on the other side of the door to finish. Finally, the door swung open, and he found himself staring into the yellow eyes of his best friend’s counterpart.
“Come in, come in!” Serene said brightly, her smile so much like Stress’ it hurt his heart, “You look fucking terrible.”
Iskall snorted, picking up the shulkerbox of water and stepping through the threshold, carefully leaping over the deactivated bear traps as Serene shut the door behind him. As soon as he was across, she switched on the arch that stretched over the door- the arch that Iskall knew would kill anything electronic, permanently.
Things such as his bionic eye and his bionic arm. And his pacemaker.
“Straight to the point as always, huh?” he sighed, looking around the inside of the tree.
“Well, yeah. But you do. You look fuckin’ miserable.” Serene said, as she put the chain back on the door and dropped the huge steel bar down, doing up the lock as well.
Iskall turned to look, and quirked an eyebrow.
“You’ve redecorated,” he said, leaning over the railing to look into the depths of Serene’s sprawling underground fortress. Stations for making magical charms (you know, like the one yoked around Iskall’s neck) and cursed potions dotted the staircase as it twisted into the depths, and he sighed and turned back to look at his host.
Serene looked…just like Stress. Well, sort of. Where Stress glowed with life and her wooden horns grew with flowers and leaves, Serene’s rotted branches dripped with oil and mercury. He could smell burning diesel instead of fresh grass, and her yellow eyes leered at him hungrily instead of with fondness.
Unlike Stress’s simple, comfy clothes, Serene was fond of skirts and boots and bright windbreakers. The more eye-stabbing the colours, the better. She’d toned down her outfit for today, just a wall of bright, toxic green.
Still. The sight of her horns… Both Serene and Stress shared the ability to twist their bodies to suit their purposes- soft fingertips could sprout wicked claws of wood and bone, twisted horns could grow any number of poisonous or deadly plants…
…the familiarity was a comfort as much as a curse.
Serene snapped him out of his thoughts with a greedy snicker.
“Yeah, thanks to your stupidity. Y’know how much paint costs down here? My payment, please!” She held her hands out, and Iskall rolled his eyes and handed the shulker over.
Serene cackled, immediately shoving it in her inventory, and rubbed her hands together.
“You’re such a stupid fuck,” She snickered, “You’re makin’ me rich, I hope you know that.”
“Do I look like I care?” Iskall sighed, rubbing his face, “Look, can we just…sit down? I need to talk.”
Serene nodded.
“Yeah, follow me.”
She gestured for him to follow, and the two of them set off down the staircase.
Iskall shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed.
“It’s…about Stress.” His shoulders slumped, and Serene rolled her eyes.
“Oh, wow! It’s about Stress, huh? It’s always about Stress, you fuckin’ tosser. Here I was thinkin’ you were gonna whine about somethin’ worthwhile for once.”
“You’re such a jerk.” Iskall sighed, but there was no venom behind his words.
“Well, it’s true! Now, I just want you to know, my offer’s still on the table. I still have that concoction- two drops under the skin, and she’ll be screamin’ in pain for three weeks-“
“NO.” Iskall barked, and Serene snickered.
“Alright. Come on, then, you wanker. You paid for my time, you’re getting’ my time.”
[Stressmonster101 descended to Hels.]
The walk over to the fortress had been fairly uneventful. The usual- eyes leering at her from every gap in the groves of long-dead, tinder-dry trees, from the odd cabin with smashed-in windows.
She hated it down here. Hels…wasn’t good on her flowers, on her skin, or on her heart. She wanted- look, that cute little cabin there. Chop a few of these dead trees down, turn them into planks. With a few hours of work, she could fix the place up, make it shine, make it sparkle. She could sing some life into the soil, get some plants growing, and water them so they grew beautifully. A lovely little place.
But then He might come and kick the windows in to keep people away, and her shoulders slumped in defeat.
She felt eyes boring into her back, and it took a lot to remember she was safe. She lifted her left arm and waved at whoever was watching, and the sensation went away.
Because clamped around her left wrist was a present that she always wore down here- a smooth, black bracelet, made of glass and metal, that glowed with red light from every seam. Something about it…seemed to chase the leering eyes away, like when they caught sight of it, they suddenly realized they had better things to do.
He’d promised her as much, and He hadn’t been lying.
Stress’s shoulders slumped, and she adjusted her grip on the bright pink shulker box in her hands. Talking to Him was nice and all, but it was just a reminder of what she wanted, and couldn’t ever have.
The forest thinned out as she got closer and closer, and she stepped through the trees and craned her neck up.
The fortress was…huge. An imposing spire, surrounded on all sides by a huge metal wall, festooned with glowing red lights and cameras, staring down at her. Sticking out of the ground nearby was a metal post, and Stress waved her bracelet at it. It beeped, and Stress felt more than heard the ground around her rumble, as systems concealed in the dead, barren dirt switched themselves off.
She cautiously walked up to the front gate, and waved the bracelet at the wall again, waiting with bated breath as a side door popped itself open. She stepped through, and it slammed shut, leaving her in a long hallway lined with spray nozzles.
The PA crackled to life.
“Stress? Fuck me, way to warn a guy. Don’t move or you’ll die.”
And she sat there, patiently waiting, as something clicked off and the nozzles retreated into the walls, ports sliding over them.
The room reeked of herbicide and poison, and Stress nervously brushed a finger along the side of her wooden horns, the ones that bloomed with green leaves and flowers.
“Okay, it’s safe. Come on in.” The PA said, and Stress sighed and walked down the hallway to the other door.
It opened all the way, and Iskall’s Hels stared down at her. Two glowing red eyes, one organic, the other made of metal. Well- Kokhet was almost entirely metal, actually. The man was more machine than human, with just one organic red eye and one organic arm, everything else lost in a sea of augmentations, plates, wires, and rivets. Clear plating showed off where his caged heart beat under glass…and his face was covered with a thin veneer of fake skin and fake hair, to allow him to make expressions and emote. Lashed to a metal skull with wires poking into the fake flesh, of course.
He wore a suit coat with no undershirt, the better to show off the mess of steel he had instead of a body, and a long pair of dress pants and boots.
He folded his arms, black suit crinkling, and raised an eyebrow with a click of metal.
“You may be a head case, but I don’t work for free.” He snapped, “Pay up.”
Stress sighed.
“You’re such a jerk.” she muttered, plonking the shulkerbox on the floor and opening it.
“Your water. Every bucket, accounted for. Can I come in now?”
“Yeah, you can. That’ll do nicely.” Kokhet snickered nastily, picking up the box and shoving it into his inventory.
When he spoke, his mouth didn’t move- a speaker embedded in his neck was synthesizing the words, leaving him sounding like Iskall, just…filtered through a middling phone connection.
It hurt Stress’s heart, if she was being honest.
“That’s what I love about you hermits. You’re all stupid. I tell you I’m fleecing you, and you nod your heads and come right back to get fleeced some more!” he snickered, “Like, how dumb can you get?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m stupid an’ I’m getting fleeced for sure,” Stress snarked back, tactfully avoiding the fact that she had an infinite water source on the front lawn, and Iskall had built her an iron farm early in the-
He shoulders slumped.
“Uh,” she said quietly, “Can we talk?”
“Talk?” Kokhet was leading them deeper and deeper into the fortress, until finally they arrived at a carved wooden door, inlaid with red lights and symbols.
“Yeah, talk. You do know I wouldn’t come down here if you weren’t here, right?”
He rolled his one organic eye.
“Yeah, yeah. Alright, get in there and grab a chair. Let’s hear about my fucking fool of a counterpart. You want me to cut his head off? Offer’s still on the table!”
Stress groaned into her palms.
“FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME, NO!”
Serene poured some coffee into Iskall’s cup, and he took it gratefully. They were both in Serene’s tiny living room, sitting next to the fire in a pair of plush armchairs. Iskall rubbed his face and sighed.
“I’m going insane.” He mumbled, “I’m going insane, Serene.”
“Tell me somethin’ I don’t know.” She snarked, “Alright, what about?”
“I just- I keep- she doesn’t know. She doesn’t know! I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I’m at- like, I’m at the end of my rope, dude. I can’t tell her. She doesn’t- She doesn’t feel the same, and I know that. And every time I try to, like, hint at my feelings, I just- she laughs, and we play games, and it feels like I’m dying inside.”
Serene put her coffee down, leaning forward as Iskall just…spilled his feelings all over the floor.
“Two days ago! Two days ago, I got it all set up. Supper! I COOKED, Serene! You know how well I can cook?!”
“Iskall, I’ve left the Helscape all of twice, the fuck d’you think I know about your fuckin’ cooking?”
“…Point taken. Look! I made Stress dinner. I got her a bouquet of alliums. I got- I found a little- that plushie shop in the hub, they had a cute little plushie that looked like a deer tick- We watched movies, we wrestled in front of the TV, and she just-“
Iskall slumped.
“She doesn’t know. She just thinks we’re friends. And I’m gonna die.”
Serene stared into the fire and sighed.
“Right, so, I have to ask. Have you considered just TELLIN’ HER you like her?”
“NO!” Iskall shouted, “No, are you INSANE?! What if she says no?! What if- if she says no, then- well, then it’ll all get weird, and I won’t be able to spend ANY time with Stress! I’d rather- I just-“
Serene raised an eyebrow.
“I’d rather just- if I have to keep coming here and talking to you, and I still get to be friends with Stress, then I’ll- I’ll do it. I’d- this is just- better than-“
Iskall fell silent, and slurped his coffee.
“Not complaining. You’re makin’ me rich.” Serene said.
She fell silent too.
“I get it.” Serene said, “Think tactically, right?”
Iskall nodded mutely.
Serene hummed.
“You and that bitch. Have you thought about anyone else?”
Iskall turned to stare at her, and his eye was shining. He shook his head.
“I love her,” he croaked, “And she doesn’t know.”
Serene sighed.
“And yet somehow, you’re still more tolerable than your…your fuckin’…that…”
Her face darkened, and her grip on her mug tightened, jaw clenching as the ceramic creaked.
“You wanna talk?” Iskall offered, his voice sounding weirdly strained.
“Yeah I wanna talk. I fuckin’- you know he bought herbicide? Herbicide. Filled his fortress with herbicide, just for me. I’m gonna fuckin’ rip his nuts off and feed them to him. I’m gonna take him apart, piece by piece, pin him to a dissectin’ table and yank plates off till he’s- Iskall?”
Serene’s ranting stopped instantly.
She’d heard…a sniffle?
“S’nothing,” Iskall turned away, “Go on. I just…got something in my eye.”
“…Are you crying?” Serene froze, staring at him.
“I’m not,” Iskall choked out, “I’m fine. Keep going. You’re upset.”
She froze.
“…That bitch. Is making you cry?” she whispered, and Iskall shook his head.
“I’m fine. I just said I was fine.” he whispered, “I just…I don’t know how much longer I can take this, okay? Please keep talking. It’s…helping.”
Serene put her coffee mug down on the table and stared at him.
The wheels of a plan were starting to turn in her head.
Iskall turned away from her and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his hoodie, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself.
“I’m fine.” he said flatly, turning back, “Sorry I- it- it just got to me a bit, okay?”
Serene nodded.
“She made you cry.” Serene said softly, and Iskall shook his head.
“No! Stop that. I made me cry. I just- that’s why I come talk to you. You just call me rude names and insult me, but you’re not gonna-“
“…She’s breakin’ your heart.” Serene finished.
“She’s not! I’m doing that to myself!” Iskall spluttered, the tears gone, his eye full of fear.
Serene nodded slowly, lacing her fingers together.
After a few seconds of the scariest silence of Iskall’s life, Serene’s face lit up.
“Nevermind that! More coffee?”
Iskall breathed a sigh of relief.
“Yes please.” He said softly, “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”
Serene chuckled.
“Of course not. You’re a complete wanker anyway. I’m not leaving my comfy little tree for the likes of you.”
Iskall breathed a sigh of relief, letting his shoulders slump.
“So, uh, how’s…things with you and…uh…my…counterpart?” he asked cautiously.
Serene’s face darkened instantly.
“Iskall, can I hire you to help me with a little job? I really want that little weasel tied to my dissection table. I want to see how many parts I can pull off before he starts screamin’.”
“Um,” Iskall said nervously, “Uh, my…schedule’s…pretty booked. I…probably not. I’m so sorry.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Fuckin’ typical. Useless, the lot of you. Fine. Well. The latest thing this complete FUCKER has gone and done is-“
Kokhet had a pool.
It wasn’t a very big pool. It was about one block deep, enough to wade in, and about ten blocks long and five wide. The room it was kept in had a fake lamp overhead, mimicking the sun of Hermitcraft’s overworld- warm and yellow, instead of cold and red. And all around the pool, deckchairs. Kokhet had shown Stress the pool one day, spreading his arms grandly, expecting her to be impressed.
And then she’d learned that Helsmits couldn’t make infinite water sources, and she’d been a little…disgusted, honestly.
But she’d never say that. Not least of all because Kokhet couldn’t swim.
It was easy to ignore that when she was sat on a couch next to the cyborg, trying not to burst into a flood of tears.
“’E’s so stupid,” Stress sobbed, “So stupid, I can’t- like, yesterday, we- I took ‘im to the beach, yeah? So we went to the beach, and we were in the surf, and I- we were making sandcastles, and I brought- I brought his favourite soup. I made his mushroom soup, just the way he likes. And he ate it and was all, “Oh, Stress, I love it!” and just- just laughed! He just laughed!”
Kokhet nodded mutely, listening to her rant.
“He thinks we’re just friends,” Stress said miserably, “I keep trying and trying to see if he- if he feels the same way, and I just- he thinks we’re just friends. Just buddies. Pals. Bros.”
She slumped back on the couch, and Kokhet nodded.
“And telling him isn’t an option?” He took a sip of his coffee, swirled it around in his mouth to enjoy the flavours on his organic tongue, and spat it into another glass. No esophagus meant no swallowing food or drink.
“What if I tell him and we ARE just friends?” Stress’s voice got hysterical, “It’ll ruin everything. Make it all weird. You can’t…it doesn’t work like that. He won’t- and I love him so much, I can’t just- go back to being buddies. I can’t.”
Kokhet nodded.
“So. Big risk, little reward. Don’t tell him. It’s not worth it.” He took another sip of coffee, and spat it back into the empty glass.
Stress nodded.
“You get me.” she sighed, “So how’re things with you an’…an, uh, Serene?”
His face darkened, and his robotic arm clenched into a fist so hard the metal cup started to bend.
“Bitch. BITCH! FUCKING BITCH! YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WENT AND DID?!” Kokhet thundered, “WENT AND FUCKING- TALKED TO MAJOR! GOT AN ARCH TO KILL ELECTRONICS AND SET UP A BUNCH OF THEM IN THAT FUCKING LITTLE TREE OF HERS! SHE DID THAT FOR ME! SHE WENT AND SET SOMETHING UP TO KILL ME! FUCKING BITCH- I’m gonna hack her apart. I’m gonna drag her back here and rip her limbs off and-“
“I fink you should talk to her.”
“-What?”
“I fink you should talk to her. Tell her…mate, this isn’t healthy.” Stress’ voice was shaking, “I get it, I do. You lot do things different down here, and that’s okay. But you can’t just…stew in your emotions forever. This has gotta stop. Like- it’s cuttin’ you up inside. You gotta just talk it out. This is gonna end in both of you dead.”
“Risk-reward,” he snapped, “If I tell her, she’ll kill me. Better to just hunker down and wait for her to come to me.“
“Just talk it out, for god’s sake. This is starting to drive me batty.”
Kokhet blinked his organic eye.
“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about right now.”
Stress facepalmed.
“Didn’t you say that this all started over a bad joke? Just go apologize already, you plonker!”
Kokhet folded his arms and stuck his nose in the air.
“She’s a bitch who tried to kill me. I’m not apologizing for defending myself. End of discussion.”
Stress sighed and turned away.
Things went quiet for a minute, and Kokhet reached for his coffee and took a sip of it, spitting it back into the empty glass.
And then Stress sniffled.
“At least you know where she’s at.” Stress mumbled, “At least you KNOW. I don’t. I don’t know anything…”
And before Kokhet could say anything, she burst into tears.
He froze. Stress could hear gears audibly clicking in his head, even as his organic arm came up and wrapped around her shoulder, pulling her close.
Hermits couldn’t touch their own Helsmits. Not without causing extreme pain for both parties. But someone else’s Hels, or someone else’s Hermit? Perfectly fine, no issues.
Stress was indescribably grateful for that fact.
She couldn’t help the floods of tears that came pouring out of her. Months and months of pining, and finally she’d hit the wall. It just- hurt. It physically hurt to be so close to someone, to want them so badly, and to have no idea if your feelings were reciprocated. Iskall did so many nice things for her, and then he’d give her a hug and say he was so glad they were friends, and-
“I can’t do this anymore,” she whimpered, “I can’t- I just- I love him. I love him so much, and-“
Kokhet had gone stone dead silent.
As he rubbed her shoulder through the last of the sobs, he finally spoke up again.
“…He’s hurting you.” Kokhet said softly.
“I’m hurting me!” Stress snapped, “I’m hurting me with this…with this WANTING. I just…I’m so tired. I’m so tired…”
Kokhet nodded, and Stress could literally hear the gears turning in his head.
It was not a comforting sound.
“Kokhet, it’s fine. Just…drop it. Okay? I’mma be fine.” Stress sighed, rubbing her face. Stupid Helsmits. Always taking things from zero to ten thousand….
“Are you sure?” he asked carefully, and she nodded, wiping her nose on her sleeve.
“I’ll be fine.” she said softly.
Kokhet patted her shoulder, his robotic arm heavy and cold. But the touch was comforting, and Stress smiled.
“Do you want to stay here for a bit longer?” he offered, “I have some organic food stashed away if you want something to eat.”
Stress nodded, and Kokhet rubbed her shoulder.
And as she sniffled, staring at the floor, an evil glow lit up his red cybernetic eye.