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A few months have passed since meeting up with Jean's childhood friends again; and since then things have been a lot of trouble. Jean had been struggling with how he felt around Marco beforehand, but discovering that they're romantic feelings? Damn did things started to get really awkward.
Every day those feelings seemed to grow. Whenever Marco would wave at him to greet him in their dorm, Jean's heart would drop at the sight of his cute smile, or how his face would heat up when Marco scoots closer to him to peak at whatever Jean was reading or playing. Sometimes, it became so overwhelming for the guy that he would burst out at the freckled roomie - he immediately apologizes of course. Connie and Sasha on Twitter would message him (now he has an account of his own) that he's gonna find out eventually and you two will have to figure it out together.
Jean knew that he won't be able to hide the fact that he likes him forever, but for the time being, he just didn't feel ready enough to admit on them yet. Their friendship has been very intimate for so long that if Jean were to admit that he likes him now, it would definitely start to make things weird between the both of them. At least he'd liked to believe that it would.
One day during the end of winter, after their winter break, Jean and his classmates were given an assignment of research information on different periods of history. Each student was allowed to freely choose whatever time period of their liking, and they would have to share their research with the class. Jean chose to study Ancient Greek Mythology; which will be very easy and relaxing in his case. Since High School, he's been very intrigued with mostly anything Greek: The ancient myths, the strongest of heroes and these crazy yet badass mythical creatures.
The best part of this timing is... Marco will be arriving late at the dorm due to participating in a new sports team this year. Jean never thought of Marco being the sports time, but definitely the kind of guy to try out new things with his new confidence. With Marco coming back late, it'll give Jean a lot more space to both study and think 'other things' through.
So that afternoon, Jean felt very relieved when he entered his dorm room and to see it all empty. He breathed out a sigh, strolled over to his bed and pulled out his college laptop from under his bed. He took a big stretch in his arms before opening it up alongside his phone, feeling the most relaxed than he's ever had in a while. Maybe once he's cleared his mind with doing some rare college work that he actually enjoys, he could think a lot better about what to do with Marco.
A few minutes of nothing but the muffled sound of the wind outside the window, and the clicking on the laptop keyboard filling up the room, it's all that Jean needed in this moment. Suddenly, there was loud knocking on the door which made Jean jump a little. He looked up from the screen to the door that opened slightly, "You can come in." He politely replied. Who walked into the room set the bearded man in a frozen state, his eyes widened and his lips spread apart in surprise.
"M-Marco?"
There was the freckled boy with the brightening smile as soon as he stepped through the door, even when his skin looked a little dirty. Jean messed with his words, in complete shock on how the hell did he made it back earlier than expected. "W-Why are you back? I t-thought you signed up for baseball? Did you not like it?"
Once he placed down his bags, Marco revealed to his stunned roommate that his left leg which had a big, square-shaped plaster on it. Then he opened his left palm, formed a person with his two fingers, and imitated it falling down on said palm. This was probably the easiest to understand sign language Jean had seen yet 'cause he got it right away.
"Oh. You fell down and scraped your leg. S-Sorry, I guess?" That last part didn't sound right. Normally Jean would sound a bit more concerned about his wellbeing, and tell him to be more careful, Marco was muddled with the response but let it slide so he could rest his leg.
He limped over towards Jean's bed which immediately set the flustered man off. Jean was ready to close down his laptop but somehow was hesitant to, maybe he wants Marco to come closer to him, just for him to make eye contact with those innocent, brown eyes... what the hell? Why is he thinking such things?! The freckled boy moved a little closer and glanced right at the website that was up on Jean's laptop; the smile was all still the same. Marco quickly began signing to Jean - who tried to avoid his gaze at first but failed. He opened his palm to spread his fingers and tapped his chin with his middle finger, then he formed a 'Y' shape and moved it back and forward.
"Huh?" Jean was puzzling to put these signs together due to the sudden surprise earlier, but thankfully remembered this pattern from one other time. "Oh! You like Greek Mythology too? Well... as much as I like you to join, I have to study on my own. Now if you can excuse me..."
Before he could get up, Marco scooted onto his bed to see the screen more closely. Jean stuttered again; his face blushing rosy red with the unexpected movement. He felt like he could just push him off any second but his heart told him not to, for it'd be a dick move and would do more damage on Marco's already injured leg. Jean decided to just roll with it like he had many times in the past few months, even with the embarrassment.
After a minute of reading off the laptop, Marco stood upright and stumbled across the room to bring over his book bag. He sat back down next to Jean, holding what appears to be a Percy Jackson novel in his hands - Jean could recognize the image of a boy wielding a lightning rod anywhere. Didn't seem like a series that Marco would enjoy at all according to Jean's mind; guess that makes two surprises he experienced this day. Marco opened up the book at the point that had a blue bookmark on the page, showing it off to Jean.
"A-Ah. I remember reading those back at High School. They're pretty okay for the most part. But... *ahem* maybe you can read them on your bed, you need to rest your leg anyway." Jean tried to be polite enough to convince Marco to keep his distance for now.
Marco paused for a moment. It looked like he was pondering to himself, but about what? Jean knew that it's not Marco's fault that he couldn't talk and has to physically communicate with him, but still, the least he could do is respect personal space. That thought was immediately abandoned 'cause the freckled boy shifted across Jean's bed as if to lie down next to him; boy did this make his face heat up like crazy! Not even a second passed when Jean aggressively pushed Marco right off the bed and the guy landed hard right on the floor. Jean himself sitting up on his bed breathing heavily.
"I-I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY! I WANT TO STUDY ALONE TODAY! HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT?! ARE YOU STUPID?!"
Shock and silence. That was all that remained in the room. Marco froze in distress from such painful words from a normally calm and patient person, and Jean remained heavily breathing, the feelings of both anger and guilt swirling around in his head. The room stayed silent for a minute longer, breaths could only being heard, then what sounded like a sniffle came from Marco along with some tears. Those said tears build up quickly, the boy shut his eyes tight and steadily got up from the floor, and rushed out of the opened door and slammed it with a loud THUD!
Jean reached out for him right before he left, but his body wouldn't allow him to move from that spot. He called out for his name in order to let him leave, but he was already gone. At that moment, Jean felt like his heart had just stopped. His throat was all dried out from the shouting, his arms and legs were stiff, and he couldn't think about anything else anymore except the broken down expression on Marco's face.
How long has it been since Jean felt such guilt like this? Maybe there were times with his family, or times with other students in High School. But this is the first time when it actually stung him the strongest - lashing out at his crush who innocently just wanted to bond over something they both enjoyed was enough to make him sick. Poor Jean was left with these thoughts all alone in that empty room, feeling nothing but despair.
If only he had the courage to tell Marco how he really felt before then.