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The distraught man didn't feel like returning to his gloomy dorm room after another disheartening day. Ever since the other week, Jean's mind can't think about anything else but feel extremely guilty over lashing out words he obviously never meant to say. Because of this, he got into trouble with his lecturer for not completing his research assignment on Greek Mythology; but Jean could care less about being scolded right now.
Everybody had already left the class to head back to their dorms for the day, and Jean was left alone with only his thoughts. How could he possibly have the need to head back to that place if nobody was there to greet him with a smile anymore? Since that lash out, Marco stopped coming back there now, with no trace of where he was heading for instead. This ended up making Jean feel more bad about himself, and it doesn't feel worth it to ask anyone about his whereabouts. Guess the guy took those awful words to heart and just ended up leaving him altogether - what other explanation would there be?
Silence rained all throughout the classroom, Jean stared at the ceiling with hollow eyes, he felt like he could just break down in tears at any moment. The silence was then broken with the sound of a creaky door opening behind him, the bearded man didn't bother to turn around from how broken down he was, not even when the footsteps drew nearer towards him. A figure was now standing right next to him.
"Hey. Kirstein, what are you still doing here?" The voice abruptly asked him, patiently waiting for an answer.
Jean mumbled under his breath. "M-Marco..."
"Uh... no. It's Marlowe. with a 'low', remember?" The tall, tan-skinned man with a bowl haircut and a blunt personality corrected him; most likely he's been getting pissed at Jean's constant grieving.
Only Jean's eyes moved slightly to glance at on of his classmates, it was Marlowe. This guy is like the opposite of his ex roommate: he talks for one, rarely interacts with anyone outside of classes, and he never smiles at anything or anyone (or at least every time Jean sees him). 'Wonder why he's back here, did he forget something?' Jean thought to himself.
"Yes. I came back here 'cause I forgot to pick up my notepad, that is, until I saw you slacking here." This guy can just tell what's on people's minds just by looking at the state they're in. "What's been your deal for these past few days anyway?
Jean sat up straight in his chair, fixing his frizzled out hair which he didn't bother combing that morning. "It's... about my friend, Marco."
"Oh, you mean that mute guy who you've been talking about non-stop throughout the past few months?"
"Yes." Jean had been so enthusiastic about Marco being his first new friend in years that he didn't realize that it would eventually get on somebody's nerves, although, Marlowe barely had any friends of his own so it's not like he was going to relate. "B-But... somehow I..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I've kinda fallen for him."
Marlowe was astonished... briefly. "Okay. Then what? Did he turn you down?"
"NO! How could he? I haven't even told him yet!"
Jean covered his mouth immediately. Recently he had been avoiding raising his tone at others, especially people he knew, he never wanted the tragedy that happened with Marco to happen with anyone else to make him the worst person in the world. Marlowe raised his eyebrow out of confusion, but being the guy who is basically physic, he manages to place the few small pieces together.
"So, you have gained feelings for your friend, you tried too hard to keep them to yourself, you lashed out at him and he got upset and basically stopped seeing you ever since."
If life were like a cartoon, Jean's jaw would've dropped all the way to the floor. That was a lot quicker realization than he thought it be; the guy's a lot smarter than he used to give him credit for. The bearded man shook his head to clear his shock, he finally stood up from his chair though his legs felt sore from lying there for so long. Trying to hide his tears he spoke softly...
"Okay, you got me. And it was all my fault. He never shows up anymore, probably never getting over it like I am, and now I don't know what to do."
Marlowe then did one of the oddest things that would never be expected from him; he places his hand on Jean's shoulder. "I'm not much of an expert on this, but whenever it's with a friend or someone you have stronger feelings towards, you shouldn't be avoiding whenever you get into a fight. Sure it can hurt but I'd say you face your problems head on and come to terms with what you did wrong. Only then will you eventually start to move forward and get even closer.
Jean's jaw felt like it could drop again, from something so deep from the most stoic person he had known in his life. He kept his cool though, taking another deep breath and gave a satisfied smile. The speech really helped a lot for he found himself starting to walk up the stairs that lead right to the door, but before he left, he turned back around to face Marlowe.
"Thanks for that." He grinned. "Never thought I'd say that, but you're right. I need to find Marco and say sorry to him."
Marlowe only shrugged. "Yeah yeah. Just spill the beans that you like him, okay? God, people in love can be such wusses."
"Hmph. Now I can see why you'll never get a girlfriend or boyfriend." Jean mumbled to himself before leaving the room.
For the next few minutes, Jean had been going around everywhere on campus to find anyone who's familiar with Marco. Luckily, he managed to find one of his lecturers staying late at class for personal work, he asked him on Marco's whereabouts and he informed Jean that the poor guy has been staying with his classmate Armin Arlert in his dorm room. Jean was also told that he's been really upset through the past week, and Armin was the first to attempt on making him feel better. He thanks the lecturer for the information and headed towards the dorms.
He knocked on about five different rooms with no luck until he found the right one with the sixth. After two knocks, the door swung open by a young boy with short, blonde hair and eyes as blue as the ocean. 'This must be Armin Arlert.' Jean thought to himself again; he cleared his throat and fidgeted with his bag around his shoulder.
"H-Hey. Is Marco in here?" He asked nervously, he's worried if either him or Armin here would not want anything to do with him and just shut him out or something.
"Oh. You must be Jean Kirstein." Armin replied with a smile. The bearded man was surprised, but he allowed the boy to continue. "Uh... Marco had been filling me in on what happened between you two. I feel really bad for you both. So I'm really glad that you're here."
Armin took one step back and turned around. "Hey Marco! Someone's here to see you."
Jean looked over Armin's head in order to see his friend again. There he was; the freckled boy who had lost that sunshine smile and actually looked pretty anxious when making eye contact with Jean for the first time in a while. Despite this, he walked closer towards him nervously and pointed to each other then outside the door. Seemed that he wanted to talk with him more private, which is fine with Jean. The man agreed and walked off with Marco right by his side, Armin waved goodbye at them both.
"See ya tomorrow at class, Marco!"
His friend waved back at him before going out of sight.
Jean remained silent throughout the whole walk; while Marco tried his best to make eye contact with him but failed. They eventually found a bench area in the middle of the campus, Marco walked over there first with Jean lagging behind a little bit. Taking their seats, they both still kept their eyes off of each other for a moment, Jean still didn't say anything. He formed what he should say to Marco inside his head, after all, this is what he should've done when he lashed out at him out of nowhere.
"Marco..." Jean began, the sound of his name pecked Marco right up and gained his full attention. "I-I'm really sorry about what happened that day. I shouldn't have yelled at you. Y-You probably never meant to invade my personal space... I know you're not the type to intend to do that. But... It was still very unbearable for me to handle because... well..." Jean cleared his throat, and turned around to face Marco properly. "The truth is... for the longest time now, I have grown feelings for you."
Jean's face immediately went bright red from spilling those words. Marco looked astonished himself, he slowly nodded his head to signal Jean to continue.
"I know it would sound crazy to you, 'cause through the past months, you've always been looking up to me whenever you need help or feeling down. You see me as a really close friend, as did I, but I can't hold back on these feelings anymore. I-I really like you a lot, I've been wanting to tell you this but... I didn't wanna ruin our friendship if you don't feel the same way with me." Marco could see that tears were starting to build in Jean's eyes while spouting out his confession. "I took out my frustrations on you... all because I didn't want you to know. I'm really sorry for that. *sniff* I'm sorry for everything, Marco."
Jean faced away from his friend, leaning down to hide his face in his hands. Both remained silent for a bit so Marco could think. Jean meanwhile, took a few minutes to let out his shame in tears, mentally preparing himself for whatever kind of rejection Marco would give him. Either he would still accept him as a friend or just flat out stop hanging out with him for the rest of the year. He continued to sob in his hands when suddenly he got a tap on his shoulder, Jean quickly rubbed his wet eyes before turning over to face the freckled boy.
The first thing he saw was that sweet little smile that he missed so much, but he had a hint of nervousness in his eyes, implying that he also had something important he's been keeping from Jean. He pointed his finger up at his head, then he shaped a 'y' shape with his right hand and tapped them on his left palm, lastly he pushed both of his hands together. This took a moment for Jean to figure out, but remembered back to all that research he did on his laptop weeks prior and once caught that specific sign before.
"Are you saying... it was your intention to be close with me?" Jean asked worriedly, thinking he got it wrong.
Marco gave a nod. Jean was surprised by how he got that on his first try.
"R-Really? But why? Why did you do that on purpose? Wait... don't tell me you knew about me the whole time."
Rosy blushing appeared on Marco's cheeks, he fiddled with his fingers while trying to form signs, his eyes reflected hesitance as well just like Jean's did. Marco intimidated taking a breath before replying - he pulled up his hand, stuck out his thumb, index and pinkie fingers and moved this form back and forward slightly. Now Jean definitely recognized this sign, it's one that he had been looking at too much through his past research. His lips spread apart from shock, hesitating with his words before saying...
"You... love me?" The eye contact they made felt a lot more powerful than ever.
"Marco's nod was the only answer he needed. Before the freckled boy could continue with his signals, he really wanted to tell him more about why he felt such a way, Jean piratically pulled him into what was suppose to be a gentle hug but it had more force than intended. Marco's face got even redder, but felt relieved and relaxed being in an embrace with his friend.
"You don't have to show me anything more, Marco." Jean whispered next to his ear. "I understand. There's no need for either of us to be afraid anymore."
He couldn't see it from his angle, but Marco grew the biggest smile than he ever had in the longest while. He wrapped his arms around Jean's waist to bring him in closer, they can both feel their heartbeats within their chests in this position, and they welcomed it fully. After a moment of the warm embrace, Jean was the first to pull away but kept his arms around Marco. Those big, brown eyes of his never looked more full of hope and love.
He released his arms from the hug so he could take hold of both Marco's hands.
"So... now I have to be the one to ask this. Marco… d-do you want to be my… boyfriend?"