Work Text:
Neither of them were ever (or still were, if they were honest) good at carrying on a friendship. To both, the word 'friend' seemed to repel them as if they were unwanted bugs, and they returned the treatment.
To one, that word had seemed alien, empty, dispensable. What was friendship if not a forced coexistence with those who shared or had to pretend to share tastes? A smile, a few gentle words, mere politeness occasionally, and people used the term to address anyone. It was silly. It was meaningless. It was as false as the various faces the person who once called himself his master taught him to use. To him, friendship had no real meaning.
For the other, that word was painful, distant, and longing. To have a friend meant to have someone who appreciated you, looked at you and could see the cracks in your being and then accept and embrace them. Friendship was a kind of love, and he longed for love, that elusive emotion that tempted him, bit him with the poison of desire, and then escaped, leaving him weak. He despised it for the same thing, trying to pretend he didn't need what he wanted so badly.
That could be why, when it happened, when friendship appeared, both were upset.
.
"In this Minotaur's Labyrinth, you guys still have things you'll do everything you can to get your hands on. Even if other people would hear about it and think 'how silly,' or even if it has no worth or use in society- To cherish such trivial things, that's Crazy:B. Don't say you forgot all about that?"
Because it was annoying how Rinne always turned a deaf ear to his unkind words and pulled him in the direction he wanted, forcing him to express himself, to scream and laugh. It was annoying how Rinne ignored his clear actions to walk away and forced him to stay. He forced him to feel.
"Ne, ne, Merumeru! How about joining me at the Pachinko later? A claw machine nearby has a blue cat scowling; it reminds me of you."
"HiMERU is not interested in that."
"Yeah, HiMERU isn't. But what about you?"
Because it was annoying how Rinne never tried to be close to 'HiMERU' but to the person behind. And without that person realizing it, he succeeded.
.
“As far as I have been a student at Reimei Academy, you are the only one who ever wanted to be just like me. Instead of blindly believing and following me, you saw me. You overlooked my status and didn't see me as an enemy, you tried to become an equal. I have always wanted such a friend. A friend who is my equal.”
Because it was annoying how Tastumi always smiled at him, even though the actions he did could hurt him, and despite 'HiMERU' overbearing attitude. He always shared kind words with him, giving him a warm touch. Tatsumi always stayed there.
It was annoying when he began to want to be on his side.
.
"I have always felt a lot of anger too. A life without freedom. An irrational world. A disturbing family business. The unnatural smiles of my parents and sisters, as if something had been forced on them.
All those things I hated, I just wanted to get rid of them. But Rinne-han and Crazy:B accepted me for who I am. Affirmed all aspects of me, good and bad, I was allowed to get angry, I was allowed to make a fuss and act like a spoiled child."
Because it was annoying, it was as if he punched himself in the stomach; and that punch left him breathless (because the anger was directed at himself, never at the other person) when he realized that he certainly had a particular weakness for Kohaku. That youthful cheerfulness, that sometimes-childish attitude he could have despite his maturity, reminded him of his brother at certain times. Maybe because he knew how cruel and inconsiderate the world could be that he wished that, at least, Kohaku could live entirely in the light after being in the dark. Or maybe because he was the first person he could talk to calmly.
.
"You have the face of an action star, but you're shaking like a leaf. Really, there's such a gap between your looks and behaviour that it's getting funny."
Because it bothered him greatly how Jun could speak to him with familiarity and how, without being fully aware, he could also talk to him in the same way. It bothered him how easy it was to converse with Jun and how strangely comfortable he was. He tried to deny it with condescending expressions and words, but in the end, Jun seemed to see behind his charade and stayed. It bothered him. It bothered him that he felt comfortable like this.
.
"No, not just me, but everyone in Crazy:B won't forgive you! Since when did Crazy:B become a unit of good boys? Our goal is to get what we want, is what we're all about! If one person resists, then everyone else can live- if that's the kind of reason why you're giving up "Ariadne's Thread", just choose the Door of the Past on the left! That's how precious it's become to us! I thought, throughout the Minotaur's Labyrinth, "Ariadne's Thread" became something that all of us want!"
Because it bothered him when he realized that, at some point (he wasn't even sure when or how), Niki's comments about how much he liked the food went from annoying to almost tender. It was strange when he found himself getting into a state that might as well have been a concern when Niki lacked energy, even carrying some cookies or candy with him in case he needed them.
.
Because for both, it was annoying, it was strange and confusing when they realized they wanted to be with them.
.
That just the possibility to be by Tastumi's side was worth a thousand false compliments. That he appreciated Jun's words more than anyone else's.
.
That a dinner with Crazy:B was the most incredible fortune he could have had or wished for. They made him feel that, for the first time in his life of pretending to be someone else, it was okay to be himself.
.
It was upsetting. He felt like screaming (he did) and crying (he did too) when he saw them again. Jun hugged him so tightly that he felt part of the pieces that were missing from fit together in his heart were finally coming together. Tatsumi was talking to him and comforting him with tears in his eyes as he assured him that everything would be okay now.
"It's good to see you again, friend."
"I'm glad you're back, Kaname-san."
Friend. Friends. He'd had them but it took him a while to realized it. Luckily, they had waited for him (as well as his brother), and now he had them by his side.
.
It was upsetting. He felt like crying (he did, after years), he felt like walking away and losing himself again to be alone (they wouldn't let him), he felt like falling apart (they held him) when all was revealed. But Crazy:B always did what they wanted; they followed their heart, they flew free, and made him fly too.
"Auch, don't you dare deny us now; my poor soul wouldn't stand it. What does it matter what those who can't think say? You are our Merumeru, and I won't let you go, kyahaha ~"
"I'm glad to know more from you, finally. You were my first friend in this wild land of Ensemble Square, you know?"
"Do you want me to make you something to eat to lift your spirits? There's nothing like a home-cooked meal to warm your heart!"
Friend. Friends. He had them, even though he tried to deny it, even though he tried to ignore it, and even though he never knew how to react or express his feelings (and if he was honest, he still didn't), they understood and accepted him.
.
Because even if he could not speak kindly to Tatsumi or even exchange words with Jun, they were his little brother's friends, and there were no words to thank them for that fact.
.
Because even though Crazy:B members lived up to their name and were too... crazy, even for him, they were his brother's (his beloved Onii-chan) first friends, and just by that simple fact alone, they were more important and valuable than most people.
.
Because both of their friends could also be friends of the other, as the fact that Tatsumi kept talking to him kindly and offering to help him proved.
As the fact that Rinne pulled him to play board games with the others expressed.
.
Because after having no friends at all, they both ended up with something even more extraordinary.
They had found a family.