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“Ominis I can't take it anymore - he's not the same person he used to be. He’s just a shell… and I miss him.” Poppy stuttered, the sadness in her voice ever present. Ominis frowned, he hated seeing his friends so sad. Beside him, Sebastian groaned.
“That’s because he’s not the same person he used to be.” He spat, though guilt shone through his words, he truly regretted that he was solely responsible for everything that had happened.
A year prior, Sebastian Sallow had taken matters into his own hands and removed Miles Walker’s memories regarding the Sallow boy. He’d watched as his loving boyfriend forgot all about him - watched as the light in his eyes faded into nothing. He’d regretted it from the moment he had done it, but even now, he had believed it to be a necessary evil.
Poppy whined again, her eyes pleading. “I miss my best friend, Sebastian.” She was one of the few that understood why he had done it, but over time she had begun to hate that the boy was a mere shell of who he used to be. Sebastian let his face contort into an expression of sadness, muttering about how he knew exactly how she felt. His muttering didn’t stop until Miles Walker himself sat down beside Poppy.
“Why’re you muttering again, Sallow?” He snorted, completely oblivious to the tension that hung in the air every time he sat with them. Sebastian met his eyes, the pain he had previously felt hidden - a look of annoyance taking place. He opened his mouth to fire back a retort before being cut off by Miles wrapping a loving arm around Poppy. “I finished our assignment Pop.” He grinned knowingly. The Hufflepuff’s eyes let ip, eager to read the seven or so inches that he was to write. Her grin widened as he placed the parchment before her. “Go on then, give it a read.”
Poppy cleared her throat, Ominis prepared to pay full attention whilst Sebastian found himself watching Miles through the corner of his eye. Even now, he found himself completely and utterly in love with his previous lover - half of the time they spent together was with long silences where Sebastian would just admire.
“Soulmates by definition can mean one of two things: a person who completely understands you and is the perfect romantic match for you OR a pair of people whose souls are entwined, they are destined to be with each other in every form of life. They do not necessarily have to be romantic as such, but with such a deep connection - it becomes easier to fall in love.” Poppy takes a moment, nodding as she grins. Miles smiles as Poppy continues. “To answer the question of if I personally believe soulmates to exist - I cannot say. I’ve heard that believing in soulmates means that there is someone for everyone. And yet I sit here writing about this, disagreeing. I personally believe that some people are just destined to be alone.” Poppy’s grin falls, she opens her mouth to make a comment but nothing comes out. Instead of trying to get a response, Miles judged that he had written the wrong thing, so he reached over to the parchment and returned it to his book.
Ominis sighs quietly, “You don’t believe in Soulmates, Miles?” he questioned, knowing all too well that prior to the memory loss - Miles had promoted the idea of finding your soulmate. Ominis truly believed that the boy had found a soulmate in Sebastian, so hearing this new opinion hurt him deeply. He glanced at Sebastian, surprised to see a blank expression on the Slytherin’s face. He seemed completely unbothered.
Miles shook his head, “I suppose I used to, but along the way something changed. Like I didn't feel that my soul was compatible with another anymore.” He shrugs. “In all honesty, the last year or so has been so… odd. I don’t quite feel like myself, and there's something missing.” He shrugs again, smiling to them forcefully, suddenly rising to stand. “Excuse me, I forgot…something from my dormitory. I will see you all in class.” Within a few seconds, Miles had retreated from the table, leaving the others to think.
“A soul compatible no more, give me a break.” Sebastian snarled quietly, though the guilt and hurt laced each word. He had also believed Miles to be his soulmate, he’d assumed that they’d die of old age together. Just like they had planned on random nights they’d spend laying in the grass of Feldcroft. He grimaced at the memory, formerly happy memories now brought him such a pain that he wanted to cry out. He thought it to be worse than the cruciatus curse. He slouched over more, trying to soothe the pain, his eyes staying low. For a short moment, a cold shiver took over his body, making him curl in on himself further. “I miss him too, Poppy.”
Poppy leaned over to Sebastian’s desk once they had sat down in Charms. There was no sight of Miles and there hadn’t been since their conversation in the great hall that morning. She was starting to worry, Miles had never skipped more than one class in a row in the entirety of his time at Hogwarts. “Sebastian, did you see Miles in your free period?” She asked, a hopeful and desperate look in her eyes. “I know that you usually spend it studying together.”
He turned to face her, placing his quill in the book he had begun to take notes in. He shook his head but spoke nonetheless. “Ominis told me that he’d sensed him running by him earlier, but no, I have not seen him.” He grimaced. He refused to admit that he had spent the entirety of his free period sitting in the one place they always studied, patiently awaiting the arrival of the boy. He especially refused to admit that he had taken a trip to the comforts of his bed to let out a few of his sorrows under his covers, “Are you just as worried as I am, Poppy?”
Poppy just nodded, seeing the look in the boy’s eyes. Ominis chose this moment to scoot closer from the end of the desk to sit directly beside Sebastian. He’d previously claimed to move to prevent the Sallow boy from copying his notes, something that Sebastian refused to admit to. “I overheard Garreth telling Leander that he had seen Miles running out of the Slytherin Common Room about twenty minutes after he left us. He seemed to be pretty upset.” He sighed, pulling his books to be beside Sebastian’s, tilting them so that the boy could copy from him if he so needed to.
Sebastian sighed also, burying his face in his hands, letting out a shuddering breath. “It’s my fault.” And with that, the conversation ended. The three students were left to their own thoughts, staring at the doors until their class had ended, eagerly awaiting the entrance of the missing boy. The missing boy who never came to Charms class that day.
Miles found himself sat on the top floor of the astronomy tower, his legs freely hanging off of the side. It was peaceful up here, and those who were there also had the intention of soaking in that peace. They didn't bother those around them. It was the perfect place for Miles to just think. His peace had been undisturbed for four hours, he’d almost reached his fifth hour before the green Slytherin robes had slouched down beside him.
“I thought I might find you here.” Sebastian spoke, he’d closed his eyes and hung back his head. He relished in the memories of finding Miles sitting up here when he felt alone, or when he thought his feelings to be invalid. Even if the boy didn’t remember these times, the place still had its significance in his life. He opened an eye, glancing at the boy beside him. Miles stared straight ahead, his eyes distant, like he wasn't really there. In a way he wasn’t. Just as Poppy had said just hours before, Miles was just a shell of his former self.
Miles blinked, his eyes glossing over. He finally turned to look at the Slytherin beside him. “I feel like a broken shell, Sebastian.” It was all he needed to say before Sebastian opened his arms, inviting the smaller boy into an embrace. Miles was quick to accept it, sinking into his side, making himself as small as he felt. He smiled glumly as Sebastian rubbed his arm, a hand stroking his hair. It felt like home in more ways that Miles could comprehend.
Sebastian moved to wrap his arms around him tighter, knowing that the pressure always helped him stay aware of how real he was. He rested his chin on the top of his head, whispering a quiet ‘you’re real, i’m here.’ until the boy stopped shaking. “It’s okay to feel alone, Miles. I understand it more than anyone. After I lost my parents, Anne was all I had left. And then I lost her too.” And then all I had left was you, until I pushed you away too. He wanted to say, but stopped himself, he couldn't voice that. Miles didn’t remember any of it. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than his loving boyfriend to return to him. He wanted that smile to be back. That snort when he laughed too hard. He found his own eyes glossing over, “We’re a pair of broken shells, you and I.” was all he could say without letting his emotions spill out.
Miles pulled a hand from around him, linking his fingers with Sebastian’s. It helped ground him almost as much as the pressure from his hugs. “Why do I not remember most of last year?” He voiced his true concerns, he’d been feeling this way for months. He’d even brought it up with the nurses in Hogwarts’ very own hospital wing - just for them to say he had a very traumatic time and that it was normal for things to be patchy. But this didn’t feel patchy, there were whole times where his brain simply. Blacked out.
Sebastian let out a shudder that shook them both quite noticeably. The tears he had been holding back broke free and not without vengeance. He sobbed into Miles’ hair, squeezing the boy’s hand tightly. Miles didn’t know how to react, wanting to stop the tears that were pouring from the Slytherin boy’s eyes. Sebastian brought his hands to Miles’ face, he looked into the boy’s eyes, he’d scanned his face several times, searching for something, before breaking into more sobs,
They sit there for a few minutes, a whirlwind of negative emotions suffocating them. They were drowning and no one could teach them to swim. If they weren’t careful, they’d be lost to the tide. After a form of peace had been found, they released each other, putting space between their bodies and stared out at the sights around them. Too many emotions had been expressed, things were awkward. For Miles at least.
Sebastian broke his gaze from the sky, turning to face Miles once more. His tears had dried up, but he knew he had to fix things. He’d done enough research to know that when he Obliviated Miles’ memories, they were impossible to be returned. Though he did also find that in some cases, the spell is able to be reversed if memories were changed rather than removed. He had hoped that when he cast the spell, his intention was clear - he just wanted the memories to be pushed to a part of Miles’ mind to an extent that he would not be able to access them during a time where his focus had to be elsewhere.
There was still a hope to bring back his love.
Ominis Gaunt was the best friend of Sebastian Sallow, and despite being blind, he could see that he had a plan. His first attempt to confront him had ended with Sebastian managing to pretend he didn't hear the Gaunt boy before sneaking away. But this time, he could do no such thing. He was determined to know what was going on in his mind. “Sebastian.” He started, feeling that the energy around them felt suffocating. “What are you planning?”
Sebastian opened his mouth to shut down the conversation, but saw the look Ominis was giving him. He decided not to challenge the powerful Gaunt - knowing full well that if he did, Ominis would win. “I think I can bring Miles back. And yes I mean the one I obliviated away.” The look of surprise from Ominis’ features egged him to continue. “I didn’t cast the spell with the intention of removing the memories completely. I cast it with the intention of just… temporarily moving out of Miles’ reach.” He ran a hand down his face, coming to terms with the fact that the boy he loved could return.
“How will you do it?”
“Mnemone Radford, as you know, was the one responsible for the creation and development of memory modifying charms.” Sebastian searched his best friend’s face for any signs of confusion, and unfortunately was met with a look of pure confusion that looked out of place on the usually certain Gaunt. “She created the spell that modifies memories, and surely from that - she would create the counter for it.” Ominis just nodded, not quite following. “I think I found the spell that will do just that.” This was the moment where Ominis smiled, it clicked. Miles could return.
Getting Miles to the Undercroft seemed to be the easiest part of the entire plan that Sebastian had laid out to Ominis the night before in their dormitory. All they needed to do was sit the boy down in a chair, careful to not spook him whilst Sebastian cast the spell on him. The entire plan was built on the sole trust of a diary extract that Sebastian had found whilst doing research in the Restricted Section. Unfortunately for them, Miles freaked out instantly as Sebastian raised his wand to meet his face, he squirmed, Ominis keeping him in place with a firm hold on his shoulders.
“Do you trust me, Miles?” Sebastian questioned, his eyes softening as the boy reluctantly relaxed.
“Apparently too much, Sebastian.” He fired back. Almost immediately after his words, Sebastian muttered a series of words, his magic firing straight into the boy’s chest.
Silence fell around the Slytherins as they awaited the next motion. Miles’ head shot up, he locked eyes with Sebastian - a heated fire behind his own.
“Sebastian?”
“Yes?”
“If you ever take my memories away again, I won’t hesitate to end you.”