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The man leaning on Nicholas’ shoulder was bleeding profusely. At this point, he was rather dragging than supporting him, while still carrying his cross-shaped gun. With gritted teeth, Nicholas was searching for a place that could give them shelter, long enough to care for these wounds.
“If you die on me now, I’ll bring you back just to kill you again,” Wolfwood barked and enforced the grip on Vash, who laughed huskily, then hissed in pain.
They soon had gotten enough distance between themselves and their pursuers and Nicholas finally found a room in the huge complex that they could use. There was even a touch panel next to the door that would seal it from the inside, but Nicholas would also enforce it with the weight of his gun leaning against it. For the first time since this whole ordeal had begun, they were able to take a breath. Against the cold metal wall, the injured man sank to the floor.
“Ok blondie, take off your coat. I need to take a look at the wound,” Nicholas said and flicked the burnt down cigarette bud, he had nervously chewed on, in the distance.
“It’s okay, I can do it myself,” Vash replied, his voice revealing that he was in no shape to dress his own wounds.
“Shut it and do what I said.”
Vash complied, moved slowly and heavy handed. It took a while until he was freed from his red coat and it apparently took a lot of effort, judging from the way he was panting.
“Lemme see that,” the priest said, kneeled down and reached for the spot where he presumed the bullets had pierced through Vash’s torso. His black shirt was soaked, ripped open several times and there was still more blood oozing out of him. But it was still hard for Nicholas to make out where Vash was hurt exactly.
“Ouch…”
“I can’t see shit this way!” Wolfwood complained and yanked at the fabric.
“Help me get the shirt off then,” Vash huffed. “I can’t really lift my arms, so I need yours.”
“Are you attached to this shirt in particular? I mean, it’s already swiss cheese at this point, so the easiest way would be to rip it apart entirely.”
Vash chuckled a little. “No attachments here. Go ahead.”
It was indeed easy enough to tear at the fabric for it to come apart. Once Nicholas did so, it practically fell off of Vash’s body by itself. It revealed not only the nasty shotgun wound on his left side, but also a sight Nicholas hadn’t been prepared for and his eyes grew wide. Vash’s entire upper body was covered in scars and old wounds, a lot of them looking ragged and amateurishly dressed. The price someone like him would pay for caring about everyone else.
“How embarrassing,” Vash chuckled half-heartedly and tried to turn away from Wolfwood, only to confirm that his back looked just the same.
“Don’t move,” Nicholas said in a voice that was much softer than he had intended and gently pushed him back against the wall. With a groan, he sat down properly in front of Vash and pushed up his sleeves. “Lemme get those bullets out.”
The good thing about a shotgun wound like this was that the bullets didn’t travel very deep. The bad thing, on the other hand, was that there were plenty and Wolfwood still had to dig into Vash’s flesh with his fingers. Now and then the blonde man let out a painful moan or hiss, but apart from that, he just endured the procedure.
“How are you holding up?” Nicholas asked after a while.
“I’m okay. I’ve been through worse.”
“I can see that.”
There was an awkward silence and Nicholas scolded himself for bringing up the scars, since it clearly had made Vash uncomfortable before. But Wolfwood was also mad at him for getting himself in danger like this. These people didn’t deserve someone like Vash taking a bullet for them, less dying for them. Yet, he did it anyway. And he never complained.
“Okay, I got most of them out. The big one is still left and this one will hurt like shit, so brace yourself,” Nicholas warned and shot Vash’s face a quick glance. The other man was smiling at him. He was clearly in pain, but he was smiling. “Are you some kind of masochist or what’s there to be happy about?”
“I’m just happy for the heads up,” Vash said, his voice betraying how exhausted he was. “It’s also comforting to be in your capable hands. It’s been a while since someone cared for me like this.”
“For fuck’s sake, blondie…Don’t just say stuff like this.” Nicholas felt his ears grow hot and he furrowed his brows.
“I’m sorry, I guess-”
Vash’s hand suddenly grabbed Nicholas’ arm and squeezed it hard. He had a high pain tolerance but it was clearly running low at this point.
“I’m almost done,” Wolfwood tried to comfort him and looked at Vash’s fingers desperately clinging to him. He sighed. “Hold onto me, if it helps.”
If Nicholas hadn’t known any better, he would have sworn that Vash was blushing as he eagerly nodded. He tried to be as careful as he could as he proceeded, but every now and then, Vash’s grip got fiercer and his head slumped against his shoulder. As he finally got a hold of the bullet, he could feel the fingers slowly letting go of his jacket’s fabric and Vash’s arm sank to the floor with a thud. Maybe it was only because of the sudden change, but the spot now felt strangely vacant. His head, however, remained where it was.
As the bullet left Vash’s body, Nicholas pressed down on the wound with the palm of his right hand while using the left to add more pressure, expecting more blood to come out of it. The blonde man looked completely out of it, leaning on him like a sack of potatoes, which made Nicholas almost jump even more when he suddenly felt Vash’s prosthetic hand on his own.
“Thank you,” he mumbled against Nicholas’ shoulder. The way Vash squeezed his hand felt as if he didn’t want Wolfwood to let go of him. He scoffed. As if he would do that now.
“It’s okay,” he said close to the other man’s ear. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Nicholas didn’t think twice about what he was doing. He pried his right hand free and used it to pull Vash into an embrace. How long had it been since the man had been hugged? How long had it been since Nicholas himself had been hugged? He couldn’t remember. He just knew that in this moment, it felt like the right time to do so.
After the initial surprise, perhaps even shock, Vash returned the embrace with every bit of strength his body could muster. Their hands, still pressing onto the wound on Vash’s side, ended up entangled with each other and Nicholas felt his heart skip a few beats.
“Wolfwood…,” Vash said quietly.
“I’m here,” Nicholas answered.
“This is nice.”
“Goddammit, spikey. You must be delirious…” Nicholas sighed. “But I was gonna say the same thing.”
Vash chuckled and finally lifted his head. Color had returned to his face and Nicholas was relieved that he seemed to be over the worst. In fact, he was faintly glowing. Perhaps those plant abilities of his helped with a quick recovery as well.
Realizing that they had been staring at each other, for what felt like hours, Nicholas awkwardly cleared his throat and gave Vash some space. It wasn’t like him to be the gentle caregiver. Fuck, even to save the orphanage, he had been anything but nice. There was just something in the way Vash looked at him, something in the way his eyes always seemed to see more than there was on the surface, that made Nicholas care more than usually. Vash was what he could have been, if he had been a better person, if he hadn’t been so fundamentally broken. Vash had seen his fair share of trauma, but for some reason he was still able to smile. Maybe even had to.
Wolfwood felt a tremble go through his body as he thought about all of that and he wished for a cigarette. It was time to get out of here.
“Do you think you can walk?” he asked and Vash blinked a few times, as if he needed a moment to understand the question.
“Yeah, I’m alright. Shouldn’t be a problem.” He even gave Nicholas a thumbs-up, only for his face to twist in pain as he lifted his arms too high.
“Sure, alright my ass.”
Nicholas had to come up with a plan, but there were several factors that made it almost impossible. He probably could carry both his gun and Vash for a while. However, this would guarantee for the gunshot wound to rip open again. Vash was in no condition to walk further than perhaps a few steps at a time, which was better than nothing, but the chance of falling into their pursuers hands was at a 100% this way. Their last resort then was for Nicholas to shoot their way out of the complex. Fine.
“What’s it gonna be? Shirt or jacket?”
Vash cocked his head in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“You can’t walk around with an open wound and the scraps of your shirt are useless as makeshift bandages. So you either get my shirt or my jacket. Choose or I’m choosing for you,” Nicholas explained and once again wished for a cigarette.
“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Vash argued and tried to get off the floor. Nicholas immediately sat him down again.
“Fine. Shirt it is.”
Quickly, Nicholas got out of his jacket and opened the buttons of his gray shirt. His bloody fingers left stains all over them. When he took it off and sat bare-chested in front of the other man, he saw the soft glow he had noticed in Vash’s face become stronger. Now, the delicate lines were very prominent and traveled down his neck and all over his body. For a second, Nicholas forgot what he was supposed to be doing. He wanted to touch them, feel if they were warm or cold. He had already reached out with one hand, when he regained his composure and held out the shirt for Vash to use.
“I hate to be a bother, but can you help me out once more?” Vash asked, as he unsuccessfully tried to wrap the fabric around him. With an annoyed groan, Nicholas yanked the shirt from his hands and twisted it like a rope that he would tie around Vash’s wound like a compression bandage.
“You owe me a new shirt after this, blondie,” he mumbled as he saw the fabric become more and more stained. Vash, however, didn’t respond.
“Did you hear what I just said? You owe me and you’re not getting out of it this time!”
Just as Wolfwood wanted to yell at him even more, he froze in his movements. Vash’s bloody hand lay on his shoulder, following the fine lines Nicholas had almost forgotten about, wanted to forget about.
“What have they done to you?” the blonde man whispered. His fingers traveled from his shoulder to the back of his neck and finally rested on his cheek, as if to comfort him.
“It’s a long sad story that I don’t want to get into right now,” Nicholas said and took off his sunglasses, but still avoided Vash’s eyes. He would have seen too much again. “Bottom line is: this is what you look like when you grow up too fast.”
“I’m sorry.”
The sincerity with which Vash apologized for Nicholas’ suffering, even though it wasn’t his fault, combined with the glowing markings on his skin, made the priest feel as if he was visited by a divine being. An angel that would take away his burden and all the other bad things. An angel that would fix him and teach him what happiness was again. What a wonderful thing that would be.
Nicholas’ leaned into Vash’s touch and closed his eyes. This tiny bit of skin to skin contact unearthed a yearning he didn’t know he had buried deep down. He wanted to be held, he wanted to be taken care of, he wanted to be loved. All those things they had tried to rid him of, in order to turn him into a cold punisher. If they could see him now, they would see that they hadn’t succeeded. It gave him a sense of satisfaction that they hadn't been able to kill this very human part of him.
When Nicholas opened his eyes again, he found Vash smiling, his markings glowing as bright as ever and he couldn't help but feel a little bittersweet. Vash smiled to hide his pain and the pain he felt in others and for others. Was he at least still able to feel happiness at all? Or was this all that was left for him in this world?
"Hey, blondie. I wanna try something," Nicholas said quietly and pulled Vash's face closer to his own. "Is that fine with you?"
Vash looked him in the eyes for a second and apparently found what he had been looking for. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out of it, so instead he just nodded and Nicholas closed the gap between them by pressing his lips onto Vash’s.
Neither of them had done anything self-indulgent in over, at least, the past decade, so this was a novum. As the priest’s heart seemingly grew in size, Vash appeared to be glowing brighter with every second that the kiss lasted. So, this was what happiness felt like. Warm, almost too good to be true and so incredibly fragile.
Even when they parted, Wolfwood couldn’t help but linger and brushed against Vash’s lips with his own. Forehead against forehead, with closed eyes, they sat on the floor and forgot about the world around them for a moment.
“What are you doing to me, angel…?” Nicholas’ voice was hoarse. The question and the pet name hung in the air, as both of them still processed their emotions.
Ever since his orphanage days, Nicholas hadn’t felt close to a person. For what it was worth now, he shouldn’t have felt close to Vash either. This could become a much messier situation than it already was.
Those are the eyes of a good guy.
Yeah, right.
A shiver broke Nicholas’ cycle of conflicting thoughts. Vash hadn’t moved, his eyes were still closed and he was still glowing bright. But there it was again. A small shiver running through his body.
“Shit, you must be cold,” Nicholas exclaimed and reached for Vash’s coat, lying on the floor behind him. He carefully draped it over his shoulders and pulled on the lapel to make sure it wouldn’t fall down in an instant.
As he was doing so, silently cursing at the fabric, Vash rested his head on Nicholas’ chest. Not only was he glowing, but he was also warm against the priest’s skin, so where did the shiver come from?
“You haven’t said anything in a while, spikey,” Nicholas noticed out loud, while Vash breathed a long sigh. “Are you okay?”
“You said, you wanted to try something,” the blonde man said after a few moments. “What’s the result?”
Nicholas bit his lip. He had already thrown his principles out the window by letting Vash get close to him, not to mention by kissing him. He certainly wasn’t ready for the whole ‘feelings’ talk that would inevitably follow. But didn’t he owe Vash that much after everything?
“The result is that…”
“Yes?”
“…It’s that…”
“Yes??”
“For fuck’s sake, blondie! I’m trying to find the right words, okay? It’s not every day that I tell someone I like them! Fuck!”
After Nicholas was done cursing, Vash sat up and smiled at him. This time, it didn’t look forced. This time, it didn’t hide anything. For the first time, it was genuine. It was even infectious.
“Is that a smile, Nicholas D. Wolfwood?” Vash cheered with wide eyes, while Nicholas tried to hide his face.
“Never call me by my full name again, got it?”
“Yeah, it did feel weird.”
With a chuckle, Nicholas put on his jacket and got to his feet.
“Ready to get out of here?” he asked and helped Vash stand up as well. He was still shaky, but tried his best.
“Sure, let’s go.”
“Let’s just hope your lightbulb head doesn’t get us any unwanted attention,” Nicholas smirked, as he shouldered his cross.
“It’s your fault, keep that in mind!”
“Oh yeah? And how is that my fault?” In addition to his teasing tone, he leaned in a little closer, which in turn made Vash glow stronger again. “Ah, I see. Interesting.”
Vash gave him a weak slap on the back, his expression somewhere between embarrassed and flattered. Quiet, blushing Vash was a sight Nicholas could get used to, but he was most endeared by his smile. He must have felt it as well. That spark of happiness.
“Here goes nothing,” Nicholas announced and reached for the touch panel. “Tell me if the pain is too much and I’ll think of something.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Vash replied. As the door opened, he held back Nicholas for one more moment. “I like you too, by the way. In case that wasn’t obvious.”
“Oh no, it was…um…quite obvious.” Nicholas pushed the sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. “Crystal clear, in fact. Can we go now?”
Vash’s eyes turned into little crescent moons as he beamed back at the priest and nodded. Happy in the face of danger. Nicholas laughed and shook his head. Nothing that had happened over the last hour had been able to change Vash’s poor sense of self preservation and they would undoubtedly end up in the same situation eventually. But then again, Nicholas wouldn’t have it any other way.