Archive of Our Own

Chris doesn't remember how soft cotton sheets are supposed to feel. It's not like this particular material had been robbed from his possession. No, it was precisely given that he was fairly sure soft cotton wasn't suppose to be this suffocating. Even so, he drowned inside the sheets despite the way sweat clogged onto his skin and dampened the bed linen.

He despised it. Despised everything to the last detail. Yet, he tightened his eyes shut, emptying his mind, pleading for sleep to guide him out of his misery.

But there was something that alerted him, a presence. One that made his eyes widened in surprise and he tossed the blanket aside finally. His eyes adjusted to the dark room, scanning the silhouette that crouched above him.

Even in the dark, Chris observed the outline of the figure. Such as his broadened shoulders or the sharp structure of his face. He also analyzed his height, despite lacking its full potential after having to crouch over his bed, Chris calculated the figure had a fairly decent amount of inches on him, possibly high to his level. He couldn't pinpoint the color of his hair, but he could make out how the waves bounced and fell evenly aside, reaching to meet his eyes. By then, Chris pieced the clues together and an instant wave of exhilaration fluttered his chest.

Immediately, he reached aside to switch the lamp on.

Blue eyes meets blue.

His breath hitched. "Matt?"

After being acknowledged, Matt smiled, his lips curling out wide until his eyes would crinkle. At that moment, Chris could feel his body practically melt with warmth.

"Hey, Chris."

—

It was way past midnight, Chris knew that much. Yet he wasn't too interested in the time as of now, his priorities were too occupied with capturing this moment. The moon was full and aglow, lighting up the fulgent night sky into a soft shade of indigo that beamed the streets. Not a single soul in sight besides the two brothers as if the scenery had been only reserved for their eyes to see.

Chris fondly gazed at his own hand wrapped snugly around his brother's. Their hands slotted perfectly well together to which satisfied Chris. It was like connecting a jigsaw into its missing piece. His eyes trailed up to meet the side of Matt's face. His brother's lips curled upward and his eyes looked ahead with this sense of determination.

It made the younger triplet release a soft laugh. "Where are you taking me?"

Matt never faltered, only continued to guide Chris. "You'll see," he replied vaguely.

Chris pouted but found he didn't really mind that much. Nonetheless, he feigned a whiny groan. "I can't believe you dragged me out of the house this late at night!"

"Well you weren't exactly doing anything."

"You're right, it wasn't like I was sleeping or anything."

"Yeah, sleeping," Matt scoffed, eyeing him a disbelieving look. "Whatever, you could've said no if you wanted."

Chris' face dropped slightly, his brows straining until it creased almost joint. He gazed at Matt with all seriousness. "I'd never say no to you," he told him.

Matt returned him a soft grin and Chris couldn't help but mirror the gesture before they focused on what was ahead.

"We still could've took the car," Chris added.

Matt shook his head. "It would've ruined the moment. Besides, we're already here."

His brother guided him past the open field and through the trees. By then, Chris immediately had an insight on where they were headed. However, he sealed his lips shut until they stumbled upon the gates that reached just over their hips. Chris observed inside and had to admit, it was strange and sort of unfamiliar to view the landscape at almost a whole different perspective. He'd only ever visited this place in the hazy blue sky of morning.

Chris gave his brother a look. "This is the place, really?"

Matt only smiled before entering inside, tugging Chris along with him.

They strolled past almost everything, the stepping stones, the teeter totter, the swings and a few other things. Chris could only look at his brother questioningly until they finally arrived at the large climbing frame of which led to the great steep slide. Chris recalled when they were kids, how often Matt would climb this over and over again.

Matt didn't waste a moment, instantly heading inside and beckoning his brother. "You coming?"

Chris grinned with excitement. Of course he was.

It was a little difficult now that they were no longer ten years old. Having to squeeze through and latch onto each wooden plank that leveled up higher and higher until they eventually reached to the top. All that was left to do was to glide down. Chris hovered over the tube with a wide grin and looked behind at his brother expectantly. Only Matt didn't share his thoughts, releasing a content sigh and resting his back onto the bars. Immediately, Chris settled beside him.

For safety reason, they were caged inside wooden bars from up here, making it almost the perfect hideout. It was partially the reason why Matt loved to climb the frame. Whenever they would play hide and go seek with the rest of their friends as children, this was the first place Matt would sprint to where he believed he remained invisible to the world.

"What are you thinking about?" Matt asked.

Chris blinked out of his thoughts and glanced at his brother beside him before sporting a cunning grin. "Just about how much you suck at hide and seek," he answered.

Matt gaped at him in disbelief. "I always find the best hideouts!"

"And then you literally milk the hideout until it becomes the most obvious place to hide!" Chris retorted.

Matt shook his head. "Not true-"

"Yes it is!"

"-I remember vividly as a kid I'd spend literally hours hiding and no one would find me."

"I'd find you," Chris protested. "With you, I knew exactly where to look. I would find you in a heartbeat."

Matt paused briefly before nodding his head. "Fine, I suppose that's true. But that doesn't mean I suck at hide and seek, it just means you know me."

"I do know you."

"And I know you too."

They smiled at each other and Chris couldn't remember the last time he'd smile this much. The feeling was gratifying and sort of thrilling, he almost felt alive again. But not quite, a small sense of sorrow lurked faintly at his core and acknowledging it only made it worse.

"Chris?" Matt called softly after sensing the sudden shift of emotion.

With his name mentioned, Chris returned his eyes on Matt. His brother was silent, waiting patiently for the other's response. Chris tried to find his words, releasing a puff of air before revealing his thoughts.

"Matt, you trust me, right?"

Matt gave him a puzzled look. "Yes," he drawled unsurely.

"You know you can trust me with anything right?"

"Where are you going with this-"

"I need you to know," Chris explained, gripping Matt by the shoulders. Matt could only stare silently, allowing his brother to continue. "Like you could tell me anything and I would never judge you. You don't ever have to go through anything alone. Whether if it was huge or the smallest minority, I'll listen to anything you have to say!"

Chris gazed intently at his brother, trying to get his point across and hoped Matt would understand. Hoped that his brother genuinely trusted him and kept that point in mind for any case of the future. Possibly, even now if he needed him.

His brother was still, eyes wide. It was an understandable and fair response. After all, the sudden outburst was unexpected yet in a way, fanatical. And honestly, how do you really respond to something like that? Chris glanced down with a frown as he thoughtfully analyzed the words he said. Trying to make sense of his own thoughts so that Matt would understand. So that Chris could at least remotely convey how he felt at that moment.

In the end, he let his mouth run on its own accord and through the heart.

"...Even if everything was crumbling and the whole world was falling apart. I'd be right there, standing with you. It's me and you against the world."

Chris hadn't even realized how hard he was gripping onto Matt's shoulders until the other released his hold. Instead, wrapping his hands around his own. Rubbing his thumbs along Chris' fingers soothingly and Chris could gradually feel his nerves settle to a moderate level. Eventually, he glanced up to meet his brother's eyes and Matt gifted him a warm smile.

"Hey," Matt called.

Chris didn't respond but his eyes told him he was listening.

"You wanna play hide and seek?" He suggested.

Chris blinked, not expecting the sudden shift of topic before releasing a soft chuckle. Nevertheless, he responded to Matt's question. "What, like right now?"

"Why not?" Matt shrugged. "I can prove to you just how great I am at hiding." He didn't really wait see if Chris was on board, already crawling over to the slide.

"I thought we established that you can't hide from me. That I'd always find you."

"Then prove it," Matt challenged, tucking his legs inside. He peaked a glance from over his shoulder and returned a quick smirk at his brother. "Come and catch me, if you can." With that, he pushed himself down the slide.

Chris grinned, immediately following after.

It felt like he glided into a void, everything surrounding him was pitch black as felt himself sink furthermore to the abyss. It almost spooked him for a moment until he could see the dim of light gradually increase before him and he grinned with anticipation, waiting to reunite with Matt once more.

Only he was greeted by no one by the time he reached the end of the slide. He looked around the park, not a single human in sight, besides himself of course. He lifted himself up and slowly began to wonder around the playground. His eyes searching and frantic.

There was a small breeze in the air, causing the swings to sway faintly and release a soft squeak. Even the teeter board managed to rock up and down ever so slightly and at the moment it only dawned to Chris just how eerie the park could be at night. Perhaps that would explain the unsettling feeling in his chest. He needed to find Matt soon, his brother never failed to help regain his serenity.

Where was Matt anyway?

The thought of Matt absent or not by his side only spiked up his fear and he immediately began storming around the park.

"Matt?" He called.

To his unfortunate, he was given silence which only worsened his case. He was beginning to feel desperate scouting the area and he could feel his heart pick up the pace. It almost leaped out of his chest when he felt his left pocket vibrate.

Chris pulled out his phone and glanced at the caller ID displayed across his screen. It was his mother and immediately he felt his stomach drop. He hovered around the decline button for a brief moment before finally tapping on the red button, returning the device back into his pocket. He took a deep breath, attempting to remain his composure.

"Matt?" He called once more, much louder than before.

"Chris?"

Chris promptly turned around to find his brother stood right there in front of him. A baffled look written across his face as he observed Chris. The other let out a released sigh of relief, rushing over to Matt.

"Where were you?"

"I was waiting for you to come find me," Matt answered. "But you took so long that I decided to come find you myself."

Without thought, Chris held onto both of Matt's arms and gripped on tightly enough so that he was sure his brother was safe right beside him. It was like, if Chris would let go, he'd lose him all over again.

"Let's not play this game anymore," Chris told him.

Matt was still puzzled but nodded anyway. "Okay."

His pocket began buzzing once again and the two brothers perceived at the located area. Chris huffed in annoyance, not bothering to regard the intruder's name on his phone, instantly hitting the decline button.

Matt eyed the phone as he went on to say, "so does this mean I'm elite at playing hide and seek?"

Chris gave him a disagreeing look. "No way, I'm just a little rusty."

Matt rolled his eyes. "You're such a sore loser."

"I'm not!"

"Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."

Chris feigned an aggrieved frown but that immediately faulted at the sight of his brother's toothy grin.

A sudden thought came into his mind.

"Hey, you hungry?"

—

Chris held the door for Matt as the other stepped out the store, Chris trailing from behind.

"You know, when you asked if I was hungry, I thought you were suggesting something..." Matt looked down at his purple ice pop and shrugged. "Less cold," he finished with.

The other ripped off the package of his own red ice pop. "Why, did you want something hot instead? We could get fast food, if that's what you want. Although, I don't actually no any close by-"

Matt shook his head. "This is fine. I just thought it was funny."

"Oh."

They stood like that for a moment and Chris began to rock on the heels of his feet.

"So," he said. "What now?"

Matt shrugged, opening the tip of his wrapper. "We could just go for a walk," he suggested as he began to stroll off.

"Fine by me," Chris agreed, plopping the ice in his mouth as he followed after him.

They walked silently and Chris carefully studied his brother beside him. Matt observed the path ahead but his eyes seemed so distant. They've always been like that recently. Chris noticed. Matt was always around, they were close like that. But lately, it seemed like he was miles away.

He must've sensed an audience because Matt turned to look at him questioningly. "What?"

Chris shrugged. "Was just wondering what you were thinking."

Matt looked down at his ice pop before shaking his head. "Not much," he answered.

"Really?" Chris replied, not buying it. Abruptly, he spun a one-eighty until he was in front of Matt, continuing to walk backwards. "You're so quiet, surely that's cause you have a lot in your mind."

"Chris, you're gonna hurt yourself if you continue to walk like that."

Chris disregarded his comment. "You should talk more, I like hearing your voice."

Matt gave him an odd but shy look. "What do you want me to say?"

"I told you, what are you thinking?" He repeated. Matt only grinned, looking away and shook his head listlessly. It made Chris frown. "Matt, I said this. You can tell me anything."

Matt returned his eyes on him with a slight startled look. He noticed the serious look in Chris' eyes which caused him to shy his own eyes below. The other waited patiently for a response, allowing his brother to build up the courage.

But then Matt glanced up and smiled. "Why don't you try use twin telepathy to hear what I'm thinking?"

Chris squinted his eyes with a skeptical frown upon his lips. This only made Matt smile wider.

"Fine," Chris surrendered. He squeezed his eyes shut and held his head, attempting to channel his energy so that their minds would become one. Or however twin telepathy works. "...all I hear is you thinking about how awesome I am."

Matt rolled his eyes. "No Chris, that's you reading your own thoughts."

"Either way, it ain't false."

Matt shook his head. "Good to know that's what your mind only consists of."

"That's not true, I can go much deeper," Chris defended. "There's more to me than what I let on."

"Okay, enlighten me," Matt challenged. "What else lingers in the mind of Christopher Sturniolo?"

"Well... I'm great at coming up with creative ideas. Like when I come up with a plan for our next YouTube video..."

They haven't uploaded a YouTube video in months.

"...I came up with the Fresh Love merch," he added.

"Actually I did," Matt corrected.

Chris glared at him. "We're not having the conversation again."

He pondered his thoughts furthermore... Sometimes, he would think about who he was and who he surrounded himself with. How much he cared for the people around him. Chris hated the future, he preferred to live in the now and especially appreciated his past. In fact, if he could, he'd love to return to the past and experience once more of the times where everything was just right and it was all perfect again.

Instantly, his mind went elsewhere. Somewhere dark and he hastily shoved that thought aside, not wanting it to ruin the moment he had now. Instead, he tried to think of other things.

Chris returned his eyes on his brother and immediately he felt relaxed.

"But right now... all I'm thinking about is how happy I am just to be here with you," Chris told him.

Matt chuckled and shook his head. "You're so corny."

"You asked," Chris retorted, reaching his hands out defensively. He plopped the ice pop inside his mouth before releasing it and revealed his tongue to the other. "Is my tongue red?" He asked.

Matt squinted at it for a moment. "I can't tell if it is red or if that's just your tongue. What about me, is mine purple?" He stuck out his own tongue.

Chris observed carefully before shaking his head. "It looks more blue."

Matt frowned in disappointment. "It's supposed to be purple."

"I know how we can make it purple."

"How?"

Chris wriggled his brows suggestively and Matt immediately caught on. He rolled his eyes. "Ugh, don't be weird."

The younger chuckled at the other's reaction but it was short lived when unexpectedly, Chris stumbled upon his feet from a small boulder he failed to notice but he was quick to find his balance and remain firmly stood.

Regardless, the damage was done and Matt cackled all the same. "I warned you not to walk like that."

Chris frowned. "Whatever, I didn't exactly fall or hurt myself." Nonetheless, he returned to walk the correct way beside Matt once again.

A sudden buzzing noise interrupted their calming walk and Chris tusked in annoyance once more. He moved to pull out his phone and decline like before, but that was until Matt stopped him.

"Maybe you should answer it," he suggested.

Chris briefly looked at Matt and contemplated the idea before glancing at the caller ID. It was his other brother, Nick. Chris hovered over the green button hesitantly before answering the call. He couldn't even get a word across when Nick beat him to it.

"CHRIS!" He screamed over the phone, deafening the other's ears. "Where the hell have you been!"

"Don't worry, Nick, I'm fine," Chris assured, pressing his fingers between his brows. He really didn't want to have to deal with this, especially when the night had been so wonderful so far.

"Do you realize what time it is?"

As a matter of fact, Chris didn't. He brought the phone to his face to read the time. It was almost half past five in the morning. Chris didn't realize how much time went by already.

Nonetheless, he shrugged as if it wasn't completely out of the ordinary. "What's your point?" Chris frowned as he waited for the storm. He knew full well what Nick's point was.

As he expected, Nick was furious as he replied, "My point? Really, Chris? My POINT is, what are you doing out so late?"

"Relax, we only just went out for some fresh air," Chris assured.

"Jesus Christ, Chris, you really do pick your- hold on..." Nick paused briefly, as if he was contemplating something. "We?"

"Yeah," Chris answered. "Me and Matt."

Nick was dead silent over the phone and Chris shuffled onto the weight of each foot impatiently. "Nick?" he called.

"Chris.." Nick sounded much calmer than he did before, however, the edginess of his tone was clear as day. "Stay right where you are until I get there, do you understand?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "Nick, you don't have to come get us-"

"Chris, please!" Nick interrupted. "Promise me you won't do anything else until I get there."

Chris sighed defeatedly. "Alright, fine. I'll see you later." Chris moved to press the decline button.

"Wait, stay on-" The line went dead.

Oops.

"He sounds serious," Matt commented.

Chris shrugged. "Must be an older brother thing or something."

It was then that Chris finally glanced up and took notice of what lied ahead of him. Immediately, his stomach dropped.

Matt noticed that Chris wasn't walking anymore and he turned to look at him with concern. "What's up?"

Matt was met with no response as Chris remained dead silent, staring in horror. He was all too familiar with the location and these last few months he actively avoided this place at all costs.

There was a time where Chris would love to pass this area. After all, Revere Park was certainly a magnificent view. Especially now that the sky began to brighten up a little, causing the clouds to form a pretty pink and an azure blue. It made the park of which consisted pathways and trees that guided them, all the more magical. It was a dreamy sight, but that wasn't what frightened Chris.

It was where the pathway would lead them. A huge cabled structure shining a vibrant blue. The tourist attraction famously known as, The Zakim Bridge.

He needed to leave this place, like right now!

"Chris?"

Chris frantically looked at Matt with wide eyes. His brother was really close and appeared truly worried for him. The younger glanced down at their connected hands and Chris didn't realize when Matt reached out to him. Nonetheless, it was comforting. Above all, he loved the way Matt would rub his thumbs gently across the back of his palm in a condoling manner.

"You okay?" Matt asked softly.

Chris nodded his head lightly. "Yeah, we should leave this place."

Matt frowned and gave it a thought. "Didn't Nick say to stay put? We should wait by the bridge," he suggested.

Chris could feel his heart beat pick up. He shook his head. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"Why not?"

He lacked a response. Precisely, he couldn't find it in him to give a response. He reasoned himself an unspoken rule long ago to never utter it aloud. It was almost in a way, out of his control as his body, mind and soul prohibited himself from ever recalling that day.

Chris felt fingers tuck underneath his chin and gently nudged his head up so that his eyes met his brother. Matt gifted a warm and reassuring smile.

With the hand still wrapped around his own, Matt began to guide Chris down the pathway and the other allowed himself to be tug willingly. Hand in hand, they were silent and Chris tried to calm his nerves by taking notice of the pretty scenery around him. Although they walked in a slow place, it felt like no second at all had past when they began to walk underneath the bridge. He could hear the cars revving just above and he closed his eyes, trying not to think of it.

Eventually, they arrived by the bridge for those set on foot. It was at that moment when Chris began to have second thoughts and he almost decided to wrap the whole thing up when Matt softly squeezed his hand. Chris took a deep breath and squeezed back.

They set off.

Chris tried not to take notice of the way they began to gain height. Instead, he settled his eyes on Matt. Hoping that would ease his worries. The younger surveyed his brother and became aware of how distant his eyes looked once again. Chris hated that look. Most importantly, he hated how it took him this long to notice it.

Much sooner than Chris would've preferred, they arrived at the highest point and they stood by the cemented wall that reached up to their stomach. Matt leaned in to it, resting his arms just on top and Chris watched him before doing the same. The first thing he spotted ahead was The Revere Park of which they first entered and Chris wanted nothing more than to at least return there once more. Anything was better than here. As if to make matters worse, he peeked down and noted how small everything appeared from up here.

Once again, Matt reached out and tilted Chris' chin up, facing the sky. "Look up, you don't wanna miss this view."

And so Chris did and he had to say, this was much better than the view down below. Although the sun hadn't presented yet, the clouds appeared a fire red which contrasted really well with the pastel blue sky. There was a gentle breeze that tickled his face and softly ruffled his hair aside and away from his eyes. By then he had to admit, this truly was a beautiful dawn.

"See, isn't there just something about the sunrise that makes you feel good," Matt commented.

Chris briefed a glance at his brother before shaking his head. "I still prefer the night."

Matt shook his head softly and breathed in the morning breeze. He closed his eyes, melting into the golden ray of hues that placed a sense of tranquility in him.

"At least the sunrise reminds me that the world can be beautiful at times."

"Anything can be beautiful if you let it," Chris added.

His brother set his gaze towards him and it was just something about the way his smile didn't reach his eyes that made Chris' heart sink.

"There's a difference between accepting the world for what it is and creating your own fantasies." Chris furrowed his brows, not exactly following and Matt continued, "you can create a false reality in your head and no matter how much you want to believe it, deep down you know it isn't real."

The younger looked down at this with this dread feeling of liability. Nevertheless, he shrugged it off childishly. "Well, as long as it makes that person happy, I don't really see the problem."

Matt's eyes were on him but he was silent. Slowly, he moved closer so that there was only a few inches between them and Chris allowed his brother to take him by the hand. The younger was startled when Matt placed Chris' own hand against the side of his face.

"Do I make you happy, Chris?"

Chris was stunned, did he even have to ask? Lightly, the younger trailed his fingers along the soft skin, from circling around his cheekbones to smoothing the outline of his jaw. He couldn't help but reach out his other hand, delicately holding his whole world in the palm of his hands.

"You are the only thing that's keeping me sane," Chris eventually whispered. Matt held softly onto each wrist of his brother's and leaned into the touch that caged his face. The older looked endearing underneath his hold and the younger felt himself melt.

"Do I make you happy?" Chris asked.

Matt didn't reply. Instead, his eyes lowered until they settled onto Chris' lips. It made the other's chest flutter. His own eyes failed to decide where to look and he found himself observing all of Matt's features.

Suddenly, Matt squinted when a ray of sunlight reflected onto his eyes and they both turned to look at the sky. The sun just managed to peak over the horizon, coating the sky golden and wakening the city. Chris was just about to comment on it when he felt Matt slip through his hold. The younger furrowed his brows as he watched his brother step back with a smile.

"It's time I get going," he told him.

Chris blinked a couple of times, comprehending his words. "Now?"

Matt nodded. "It's been fun, really."

Chris felt his heart pace when he watched as Matt began to set off. However, in a moment of panic, Chris reached out and grabbed onto the other's wrist before Matt could go anywhere. His brother looked at him questioningly.

"You're really just gonna go?" Chris asked and he could feel his voice begin to gain volume. "You just got here!"

Matt shrugged. "Nothing lasts forever."

"Why not?"

Matt gave him a look.

Chris frantically gazed at Matt and the hand he had wrapped around his brother. He shook his head. "Please, you can't go.." Chris pleaded. "I can't do this without you."

Matt's eyes softened and he had the look of empathy written across his face. "Chris, I have to."

"No you don't. You don't have to go!" Chris glared at him. "Why show up in the first place if you're just gonna up and leave?"

Matt failed to respond. He only remained silent as he continued to stare at the other with a sorrow frown. It only made Chris' blood boil. He didn't want Matt looking at him like that. Like how everyone else has been looking at him recently. He just wanted it to be like how it use to be, was that so wrong of him?

Faintly, he heard his name being called from a distance and both brother's scouted over the bridge, locating the voice. By the Revere Park, Chris spotted their brother, Nick. He was alongside their parents and a few others he couldn't exactly decipher from up here. Nick attempted to yell something to him, but he was so far that Chris failed to understand him.

However, he didn't bother trying to decode the words anymore when Matt attempted to tug out of Chris' hold. It only made the other tighten his grip.

"Chris, let me go," he pleaded.

"No, you'll only leave if I do!"

"Please, Chris! I have to go!"

"No!"

"Chris-"

"Why did you do it, Matt!" Chris demanded and it made the other freeze in place. Chris gritted his teeth, blinking back the tears. "Why didn't you say anything? I'm your brother, for Christ sake, why didn't you at least tell me?"

Matt looked guilty and lowered his eyes to the ground. Chris never wanted to bring this up. Always kept it in no matter the circumstances. However, now that it was out there, he found that he just couldn't stop himself.

"Do you know how hard it's been since you left? Didn't it ever occur how that would've affected us? I can't eat, I can't sleep. God, I haven't even left my room in so long til today!" Chris didn't mean to guilt trip him but lord, he was just so angry! "Even Nick doesn't even leave the house! We haven't even spoken to each other properly since you've been gone. Dad's been trying to pick up the pieces and get his life back together. And mom... everyday she cries herself to sleep."

"Didn't it ever occur to you how that would make us feel?"

"I'm sorry," Matt whispered.

Chris didn't want an apology. He just wanted him back. He gripped onto the other tighter. "Stay, please," he begged.

Matt shook his head. "I can't."

"Yes, you can! We can start again and this time, Nick and I will be there with you. Whatever it is that's hurting you, we'll face it together-"

"I can't!"

"Why? Why can't you? Don't you trust me? Why won't you tell me! I told you, you can tell me anything! We can work it out together!"

"Stop it, Chris!"

"Then stay! Stay, Matt. If you can't do it for yourself then at least do it for me. Please, Matt! I can't bare to lose you again-"

"It's too late!" Matt cried.

There it was. Reality crashing down on him. He felt his whole body shut down and his heart shattered into a million pieces.

"You're too late, Chris."

Slowly, Chris felt his head hung low. Gradually, he felt his whole body give out. In fact, he was surprised he was still balancing on two legs. Chris didn't even realize that tears had been pouring down his face when Matt reached out his thumb and swiped it across his cheek.

Chris let out a sob. "Matt, what do I do."

They stood there silently for a moment until Matt seemed to briefly look over the bridge before returning his eyes on Chris.

"Come with me," he suggested.

Chris felt his whole body run cold.

"What?"

"It's the only way you and I can be together," Matt explained. "The world sucks but we don't have to bare with it any longer."

"I never cared about that, I just wanted you here with me!"

Matt shook his head. "I can't do that, Chris. But you can."

The younger watched as Matt climbed onto the wall and stood tall. He reached his hand out to Chris.

Chris' eyes widened. "...I can't."

Matt smiled at him. "Come on, Chris. Won't you do this for me?"

Chris was hesitant but found he trusted Matt. "You know I can never say no to you."

Eventually, he accepted the other's hand and dragged himself up onto the wall beside him. Immediately, he felt the fear rush through him as he observed the height but Matt was quick to capture his attention.

"Don't look down," Matt told him. "Just keep your eyes on me."

Chris nodded as he tried to focus on Matt. His brother threaded his fingers through Chris' hair soothingly in attempt to calm the other to which it worked a little. "It's okay. Take your time," Matt whispered softly. "I'm here."

That's all Chris wanted to hear.

He grabbed onto Matt's hand that was on his hair. Slowly, he pulled it down until it reached the side of his face, leaning in to land a soft kiss on the inside of his palm.

"Chris?"

"Hmm."

"Are you happy?"

The younger furrowed his brows in question and Matt continued. "We won't do anything until I know you're happy."

Chris could hear familiar voices in the background calling his name. But it was so distant and quiet compared to Matt's warming voice. Right now, he could only hear him.

Chris took a deep breath and nodded with a smile. "I'm happy," he answered honestly.

Matt smiled with satisfaction. "Good."

His brother leaned in closer until their noses almost bumped and Chris found his cheeks warm up.

"Close your eyes."

Chris did just that, fluttering his eyes shut and he held his breath. He could still feel Matt's presence beside him and it was enough to make him feel calm.

"You ready?" He heard him say.

Chris nodded. "Ready when you are."

Suddenly, he felt his whole body feel light and the air rush into his face. Yet the smile on his lips never wavered. Only one thing was in his mind.

Wait for me, Matt.

—

Nick fell to his knees.

He was fairly sure he could faintly hear shouting and the sound of his mom screaming in the background but the world seemed to tune out over the loud ringing in his ears. His heart beat pumped possibly a thousand miles per second from just sprinting to get here and yet it only quickened at the sight before him.

He was too late.

The memory of watching Chris disappear from his sight, to which he knew would haunt him for as long as he lived. It couldn't be. It must be one of those nightmares he was having again.

Because surely not.

Surely not again.

But then his chin quivered and his lips trembled and he's shaking his head in disbelief. He feels his throat tightening and the tears that begin to flood uncontrollably.

And one dreaded thought caved into his head.

One sickening fact.

That now two came down to one.

And he was no longer considered a triplet nor a twin.

From there, he let out a violent scream.