Chapter Text
I’ve been putting it off for weeks now. ‘Allowing ideas to percolate’ I told Nick. I’ve always needed the pressure of a deadline to make progress but now I’m wishing I’d started a little earlier. I love him so much, I guess I thought it would be easy to put down on paper exactly why that is. Turns out it’s not.
I sit down and start by making a little timeline, and notes of the things I might like to add to the speech. When I met Nick, when we started living together, a few reminiscences of days out and fun nights. And then when he met Charlie. And there’s obviously so much more in my memory than I would be able to tell a room full of people.
The idea is that I’ll tell a story about each part of Nick’s life (apart from his family, his mum is going to do that) before and after meeting Charlie. I’ve sat down with a few people from college [go through notes - pick something suitable] to reminisce about the old days, and I met up with Jonno from the rugby club and the principal of Nick’s school [Pokemon cuteness 😊]. They’ve given me some pretty good stuff to work with - though I’ve had to be a bit discerning with the rugby stories [go with the pee one?] to make sure I hit the right tone for the sensibilities of the audience. I think I could go pretty risque as far as Sarah Nelson is concerned, but apparently Charlie’s mum is a smidge on the uptight side.
And then I’ll talk about Charlie. I’ve been thinking a lot about Charlie. I guess you could say that my feelings about him have been… complicated.
The first feeling I associate with him is relief. I’ve never been so relieved to have someone involve themselves in my business in my whole life. I can remember the sense of dread that I felt when we realized something was up with Nick that day in Chili’s. I’m pretty level-headed in general, and I’d always assumed I’d be good in a crisis, but the way I felt that day, knowing Nick needed help but not being sure what to do… well it was awful. And Charlie fixed it. Just swept in, said all of the right things, did all of the right things. It was incredible. He was incredible. He just calmed everyone down, like almost immediately. Obviously he settled Nick in a way that no-one else would have been able to, but he helped me loads too. [include joke about customer feedback here] I left Nick with Charlie and drove Darcy home, and she commented how well I was coping with it, and I know that’s because I could just tell that Nick was safe.
It hasn’t always felt like Nick’s safety is a given. Things are obviously nowhere near as bad as they were fifty years ago, but you still occasionally read about kidnappings or attacks on omegas. I hadn’t thought about any of this before I met Nick, though obviously I’ve had my own experiences with discrimination. It took a while for me to realize that I’d internalized some of that fear and had a bit of prejudice going on. Not the typical why-do-alphas-and-omegas-get-special-treatment bullshit that some betas come out with, but a kind of deeply-buried mistrust of alphas.
I’ve examined it a lot since then but I would definitely say, looking back, that my biases coloured my feelings about Charlie, especially when things were difficult at the start. Once I’d thought about it, I could understand Charlie’s explanation about why Nick couldn’t contact him after they met. But it was hard. I’ve never seen Nick in a state like that before. It was like watching him try to recover from the worst breakup he’d ever had. Except he’d only met Charlie once and didn’t know anything about him, so it was really weird. I couldn’t understand how it would happen that something that was so clearly designed to help people - and it did help Nick in the moment, absolutely - would leave them feeling that way. I guess it was just a bit of an information vacuum?
I was relieved again when they were allowed to contact each other, but I noticed how Charlie seemed to keep Nick at arm’s length, and I worried that Nick was letting himself get too attached to the idea of them being together, of them being soulmates. And again, my misunderstandings about alpha/omega dynamics led me to think that Charlie was maybe messing Nick around a bit? It didn’t seem plausible that he would really wait a year and a half before claiming when most A/o couples court for three or six months tops. [use this as a lead up to talk about care]
But then as Nick started to open up more about how the relationship was going, I began to understand that the situation was more complicated than just ‘alpha and omega fall in love’. I think the soulmates thing kind of threw things off balance a bit. It carried an intrinsic pressure that Nick was okay with but Charlie seemed to find really hard to handle. To begin with, it seemed like he almost resented it, or wanted to actively work against it. And I mean Nick was all in, he had been right from the start, and I was so terrified he was going to get his heart broken. I thought maybe he was missing red flags because he liked Charlie so much. As the weeks dragged on and Nick said that Charlie needed more time and they were going to keep taking it slowly, I started to worry that it wasn’t going anywhere.
But little by little, things moved forward and I realized that I should have trusted Nick’s judgment - duh - and when I got to speak to Charlie properly at Nick’s next heat I could tell, could feel straight away, how much and how deeply he cared. [work in Charlie’s reasons for taking it slowly?]
Nick was so happy when he called me to tell me about the claiming, and god it just sounded so perfect that it was mutual and they looked after each other. And I think he was chill about the fact it meant they were going to get married for… oh about a week before he went bridezilla on the whole thing.
The day of the wedding
It’s been the most gorgeous day and, for the most part, I’ve been able to enjoy myself as I watch my best friend get married to the love of his life. But the speech has been nagging away at me in the background, despite Darcy’s best efforts to keep me calm. The meal seems to stretch out as I get more and more stressed but, finally, it’s time. My hands are shaking as I stand. Nick squeezes my arm and smiles at me and I realize that, if I just say it all as if it’s for him… to him, I’ll be fine. He deserves this.
“Good afternoon, everyone. I’m Tara, ‘best person’ for Groom O. Little joke there. Uhhh, I’m a tad nervous but really I could talk for hours about how much I love Nick and why. And part of me wants to, just to watch him squirm with embarrassment because I know that sometimes, quite often actually, he doesn’t see what everyone else sees. Simply put, he is my best person, as in the best person I know.” As planned, Darcy swats at my arm in jest and the crowd titters and I relax a bit more. “Fine, best person I’m not in love with. I’ve never met anyone like him. And I’m sure that is the case for all of you wonderful people who are joining us today.”
“As best person, I have two jobs: I have to say thank you, and I have to embarrass Nick. I have been permitted to tell one mortifying story from each sphere of his life as a thank you to that group for coming.”
“I’m going to start with Nick’s wonderful colleagues from Green Yard Elementary School, many of whom I’m meeting for the first time today, and there’s a reason for that. Since I’ve known Nick, he’s been confident and comfortable in who he is, and there are times when it’s been hard to be so unapologetically ‘him’, but we always stuck with the adage that the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter. But it didn’t feel quite so straightforward with work.”
“Nick is absolutely passionate about educating young minds. He loves his work as a teacher and it’s a huge part of his life. So weighing up whether and how to be open about his secondary gender was a big thing. As much as he wanted to be a role model if he could, for a long time the fear about how it might change the perception of others and how that might impact on his ability to do his job loomed large. I know that he has always had the support of the wonderful principal, Mrs Singh-Stevens, and I’m grateful to her for sharing with me about her experience of working with Nick.”
“So the story from school is about going the extra mile. Showing my age here but I remember when Pokemon trading cards were big the first time around. And, yes, I still know my Charizards from my Jigglypuffs. I distinctly remember the day that a letter went home - yes I am old - to say that students were no longer permitted to bring Pokemon cards into school and how upset we all were. Well, it seems this is a perennial issue and, after uncovering an illicit trading card ring that turned out to be responsible for one too many altercations, Mrs Singh-Stevens had to take action. A ban was on the cards, so to speak.”
There’s a chorus of groans at the terrible pun.
“But Nick had other ideas; he offered to staff and supervise a lunch club where the kids could come and trade. He even devised a card indexing system so that everyone could be assured that the trades were fair. This effort is even more impressive when you learn that he had not been a fan when he was younger - he came to it completely cold and learned what he needed to by reading up about the cards and games and lore in his spare time. It’s no mean feat, and I can attest to that because I made the flashcards.”
“Mrs Singh-Stevens has fostered a fantastic and inclusive environment, and I like to think that the rest of the staff body would have been as welcoming and supportive of anyone as they have been of Nick, but I also know that Nick being who he is makes it easy to do that for him. He will always go the extra mile, but more than that, he makes you want to walk it with him. Thank you to everyone from Green Yard; it means the world that you are here.”
Nick smiles and waves to the table of his colleagues, and a spontaneous and sweet round of applause ripples around the room. It gives me the chance to sip some water and take a deep breath.
“My next thank you is to Nick’s fantastic teammates from the Grant Park Rugby Football Club. I can’t tell you what it’s done for Nick’s self-esteem to be able to spend time once a week surrounded by total losers who play a sport that nobody in this country cares about.”
There’s a chorus of ‘boos’ from a table at the far side of the room, and laughter from everyone else.
“I’m kidding… I’m kidding… I’ve seen how important it is for Nick to have a space to do something he loves that’s connected to his roots back in the UK. How being part of a team feeds the part of his soul that loves to support others. We’re grateful to you all for coming today, and I would particularly like to thank Jonno for sharing this gem with me. This story is about Nick’s stubborn streak and his commitment to his team. With five minutes of the half to play - did I get that right, Jonno, half? - yes, good.”
I mime wiping the sweat from my brow as Jonno gives me a nod of encouragement and a little salute.
“With five minutes of the half left and four points behind, Nick realized he was struggling to concentrate because he badly needed to relieve himself. Rather than risk missing the crucial minutes, he sprinted to the side of the pitch, did the deed, returned to play and managed to score the winning try just before the ref called full time. There are not many people willing to risk a disorderly conduct charge for the sake of a rugby win. This man is a real team player!”
The room is a mix of roaring laughter and hands over embarrassed faces at this point and I know I’m hitting the right mark when the loudest laugh is Nick’s Nan.
“Rounding off the embarrassing stories portion of the proceedings, I have to somehow pick just one from college, and let me tell you: the shortlist was not short. Choosing between the time he accidentally dyed his friend’s hair orange, the time he hosted a costume party but forgot to sort his own outfit and went as himself, his impressive run as tater-tot eating champion, and the time I found him tearfully telling a tree how much he loved his mum because it turned out the cocktails he’d been drinking all night weren’t virgin after all…”
Sarah clasps a hand to her heart, while Nick shoots daggers at me and says, “Hey, that’s not fair - you’re only allowed one!”
“And I’m only going to tell one, dear Nicholas. So this story begins in spring of our second year. Heading back from lectures to our dorms, Nick and I came across a family of geese who seemed to be struggling because one of the chicks wasn’t doing well and so the mum didn’t seem to want to move any of the family. Well, Nick being Nick, he goes back to the dorm, Googles all of the advice about what to do, and goes out to collect the whole family of them and take them back to the dorm so that they’re all safe until the animal protection people can arrive. We spent the day working with the sound of the chicks cheeping away and I can’t imagine Nick did any work at all because he just cooed over them the whole time. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone sob the way he did when they turned up and took those geese away. I don’t know what the future will hold for Nick and Charlie, but I can’t think of anyone being a better parent than Nick would be.”
Nick’s groan and bend into his place setting is wonderful, but I’m really going to relish Charlie’s pink, love-drunk face the most when I remember this moment.
“And now, if he’ll permit me - which he has to really because I’ve got the microphone - I’m going to talk about Charlie. I think it’s fair to say that Charlie arrived in our lives with a bang. He kind of kicked the doors in really. A chance meeting between soulmates, a careful progression into a relationship, it sounds like a fairytale. But I know that they won’t mind me telling you, because I asked them, that the reality was pretty far removed from that, particularly at the beginning. There was heartache for both of them at the start, but seeing them work through it together, building on that foundation, it’s been really special.”
“Charlie was amazing, right from that first meeting. I know he doesn’t do that job anymore, and we didn’t exactly get asked for client feedback, but Nathan - in case you didn’t already know - Charlie is great, 10 out of 10 would recommend.”
Nathan gives a big thumbs up and there’s a ripple of appreciative laughter through the room. I gather more support from the grooms and Darcy with a sweep of my eyes.
“In the time since then, we’ve gotten to know him slowly. And I will admit that the lack of urgency in the pace of it all made me a little wary of Charlie’s intentions at points. Nick has always been patient, it’s one of the qualities about him that I admire the most, and one of the many reasons that he’s such a fantastic teacher. But I wondered if the time it was taking to make progress in their relationship would test even his limits. I mean - what alpha waits a year and a half before claiming? Well, now I know. This alpha. Our Charlie. Who cares so deeply for my best friend that he wanted to make absolutely sure they were taking the right steps to build their relationship together, to make sure that they could love each other with the care they both knew the other deserved.”
I’ve got them both blushing now. Excellent.
“As I’ve got to know Charlie better, it’s become clear that meeting Nick had just as big an impact on him. They turned each other’s worlds upside down, in the best way. And we all watched, and tried to support while they worked out that it was never going to be possible to turn everything the right way up again. What they needed was a gradual changing of perspective so that it started to look right to them. They blazed that trail, and now it’s clear as day to everyone else that it’s right too.”
“They are fantastic together, and I love them both so much. So even though the beginning was tough and the middle was hard too, I’m so proud and pleased to be here for this part of your fairytale, and I know everyone here will join me in wishing you the very best for your happily ever after.”
“To Nick and Charlie.”
A sea of smiling people raise their glasses and there’s a collective chorus of “Nick and Charlie,” followed by a round of applause, and some enthusiastic whooping from the rugby table.
I look at Nick as I sit down and he has tears in his eyes.
“Thank you, T. You’re everything to me.” I hug him, and tell him I love him. He knows, of course he knows, my whole speech said so. In lots more words. But these three also need to be said. So I do and then I wipe my own face and lean into Darcy’s embrace. Whew, mission accomplished.