Work Text:
They’ve been swimming in the beach for hours. Sirius can feel that the skin on his fingers are wrinkled, his limbs have long since adjusted to the cold and are bordering on numb. But Remus looks so beautiful like this. So free in the ocean, Sirius can’t bring himself to cut it short and swim to shore.
He’d never believed anyone when they said the ocean was healing, knowing it wasn’t that simple. But the last moon hit Remus hard and Sirius couldn’t bear to see him like that so he packed the car and they drove up to Dover for the weekend. It was a last ditch effort, having tried everything else to ease the ache after the moon, Sirius never actually considered seeking help from the ocean. He feels stupid for it now. He should have guessed it. Remus and the sea having so much in common, both at the mercy of the moon. There’s a connection there that Sirius had overlooked, and he feels a bit guilty for it now.
The drive took a lot out of Remus, sitting in that old beat up Corolla for so long with an already aching body. But with lots of breaks along the way they soaked in the sun and made a day out of it. When they finally got to the cabin they were staying at it was almost dusk. Sirius unpacked the car while Remus walked down to the beach, waiting for his boyfriend to meet him there.
“It’s too cold to go in now, you can’t honestly be considering it?” Sirius protested when he found Remus already undressing on the shore.
“I’ve been locked in a stuffy death box on wheels all day, I don’t care how cold it is, I’m going for a swim.”
“Oi come on, Betty isn’t that bad. Lily was kind enough to lend us her car because I didn’t think you’d take to us road tripping up on my bike, so let’s try to have a little respect.” Sirius lowers his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “I’m worried she can hear us and I don’t want to anger her so much before the drive back.” He’s always had a rocky relationship with Betty, the first time he rode in the car she broke down halfway from Manchester to London, smoke under the hood and everything. Sirius has always been quite superstitious and since then he has always tread carefully, so as to not disrupt ‘The Beast’.
“Oh no, Betty isn’t the problem, it's the madman who drives her.” Remus calls over his shoulder as he makes his way down to the beach, giving no time for Sirius to respond.
Sirius strips down to his briefs and follows after Remus, who is already knee deep by the time Sirius meets the water. The sun is starting to set over the North Sea, so there’s no illusion of warmth when Sirius finally steps into the wave, cursing from the cold.
“Shit Remus, aren’t you freezing?” He calls out as Remus wades deeper through the broken waves.
“I run hot. Or maybe I’m just tougher than you.” Although Sirius knows this to be true, he’s never been one to back down from a challenge. He pushes forward, trying not to think about the lack of feeling in his toes.
When he finally catches up to Remus he’s shivering so much that he’s built up enough surface tension to create his own waves, rivalling the moon for control over the tides. Remus just laughs and takes Sirius into his arms, trying to warm him up with his own body heat. Sirius leans into it, shuffling in as close as he can manage, nuzzling his head between Remus collar and jaw. Remus smiles to himself, feeling for the first time in days his muscles start to relax, releasing all the tension they’ve been holding in them around the full moon.
He pulls Sirius closer, squeezing so tight that he worries he might hurt Sirius, but before he can pull back Sirius wraps his arms around Remus’ shoulders and hugs him just as firmly. Tears threaten to spill from his eyes but he holds them back as he turns his head to kiss Sirius’ temple.
“I love you.” The words spoken so softly, afraid to disrupt the water that’s settled around them as Sirius has stopped shivering.
“I love you too.” Sirius pulls back a bit to look into Remus’ eyes. Seeing tears shining there he begins to fret. “Hey, you alright? Are you in pain? Because we can go back inside, I’ll put the fire on and we can get started on dinner.”
Remus laughs wetly, “I’m fine, love. I’m fucking brilliant really, I haven’t felt this calm so close to the moon since before I can remember. Thank you.”
“Yeah, of course Moony. Fuck if you want I’ll buy a place out here. Or we could go up north, maybe setup in Cardiff. I wouldn’t mind relocating and being closer to your mum would be nice.”
That really does send Remus over, tears falling freely down his cheek. Overflowing with his love for the man wrapped in his arms, and overwhelmed with the love that has been offered to him so openly and wholly. He doesn’t have any words for it so he doesn’t even try, just pulling Sirius in for a kiss. They ease into it softly. Softer than they’ve ever been with each other. It’s never come naturally to either of them, never their first instinct. But they’ve always tried for each other. And it feels like they’re finally getting the hang of it. Falling in sync with each other. Remus can barely feel his own skin against Sirius’, can’t really tell the difference between the two, not like it matters. If he focuses hard enough, he can almost feel their flesh and nerves melting together, forming one vessel.
“Let’s go inside, yeah? It’s getting dark and I’m not particularly keen on finding out what haunts these shores.” Sirius says, noticing how far the sun has dipped over the horizon.
“Afraid of the dark, are we?”
“No,” Sirius pouts indignantly. “I would just rather not be eaten by a shark. Or attacked by something that was eaten by a shark. Can we just go back to the house? We’ll come back down in the morning when it’s warmer and brighter and I feel less like my limbs are about to fall off from lack of circulation.”
Remus huffs out a laugh but relents, letting Sirius pull him back to the pebble beach. The rocks are harsher on his feet now that he’s colder but they limp back up to where they left their clothes with minimal complaint (on Remus’ behalf, Sirius on the other hand whinged like a toddler the whole way up).
Sirius started the fire while Remus cooked dinner. They ate it on the couch, snuggled under a mountain of blankets and warmed by the hearth. As their muscles slowly defrosted, they started to drift. Remus welcomed this new ache. This new sensation. Like he didn’t have to work so hard for it. Not having to mould himself into a completely new creature to feel the stiffness in his muscles. It feels a bit less familiar. But he welcomes it, because it feels a lot like love. And he’d tear his skin apart to make the space for it.
Make the space for Sirius.