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Say My Name and Everything Just Stops

Summary:

Henry has a panic attack/meltdown after it builds up in class

Alex helps him <3

I am an autistic person so writing from experience xoxoxo

Also yes the title is from tay tay swift - as are nearly all of my titles

Work Text:

Alex was worried. More specifically, he was worried about Henry. He was trying to calm himself down by justifying Henry’s actions.

Alex was constantly told by ex-girlfriends that he was too much. He wrapped himself up in his thoughts and spewed random things out as a result. But he just had a bad feeling this time.

Henry hadn’t texted him all day. The two were practically joined at the hip, but Alex knew that Henry sometimes needed time to recharge. But even on those days, Henry would always send a simple ‘Going for a nap, see you later love’.

Nothing. Alex had not received a single text, DM, call, voicemail or even an emoji from his boyfriend. He was desperately trying to not invade Henry’s privacy or become clingy, but his behaviour was strange.

Maybe it was his ADHD, his tendency to overthink or even just the 3 coffees he had that morning. But he decided to leave another voicemail for Henry. Sliding his chair back he left the double doors out of the library, leaning against a window to press the call button by Henry’s contact.

“Hey Hen, it’s me. Alex. Um- I’m just a bit worried about the radio silence, I know you- like need time to recharge and stuff. But I- just even like one of my messages? Just to show me you’re alive? Anyway, I love you and I hope I see you soon baby.”

He hung up, just about to turn his phone back off when the screen lit up with an incoming call.

“Hey Alex, it’s Amy”, a pause as he tries to remember…Amy…fuck.

“From Henry’s 19th century poetry class? We just finished.” Right, Amy from poetry with heavy breather Professor Sloane, Alex remembers.

“Oh yeah! Hi Amy, sorry, hectic brain, you know how it is.” Alex apologised whilst making a mental note.

“Don’t worry about it! I just thought I’d give you a call to check on Henry?”, she said hesitantly.

“Didn’t you just say you were in class with him?”, Alex asked concernedly.

“Yeah, he was really quiet and then left. Quite…abruptly? Just wanted to check everything was okay but he wouldn’t pick up his phone so thought I would try you.”, she said.

“Fuck”, Alex muttered, walking back into the library to quickly shove his stuff in his bag.

“Alex? You okay?” Amy asked.

“Yeah, thanks Amy for calling. He- he hasn’t answered me either. I’m gonna go see, I’ll let you know later okay?”, he was speaking louder than usual in the library, but to be honest he didn’t give two shits anymore.

“Alright, hope everything’s okay with Henry.”, she says before hanging up.

Alex shoves his phone in his pocket and legs it out of the library. Shit, he knew something was up. His mind flashed with images of what could have happened to Henry.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He looks like an idiot running across campus, his laptop cord hanging out of his backpack. But the only thought in his head right now is, Henry.

Eventually he made it to their dorm, he wiped the sweat off his forehead before leaning it against the door.

Knocking softly he quietly called out, “Hen? Henry? Are you in there?”, no response.

Talking a bit louder, “Henry, it’s Alex. Can I come in baby?”, nothing.

Then, he hears a muffled, “Yeah” grunt.

He twists the doorknob, thankfully the door was open, and slowly opens it.

Alex takes in the sight before him. Henry is on the floor, wedged in between the bed and the bedside table. All the bedding was on the floor around Henry, who was rocking back and forth whilst his hands yank at his ears. He was making an animalistic noise, like he was in pain.

“Oh baby.” Alex felt tears rise just looking at Henry.

“Can I come over Hen?” he asked quietly.

“Y- yeah” Henry stuttered. Immediately, Alex carefully put his bag on the ground and made his way over to his boyfriend.

“Can I touch you baby?”, Alex asked, his heart wrenching as he took in the state of Henry. Eyes red and puffy with tears running steadily down his face.

“Uh- huh” Henry whined.

Alex slowly reached out to place his hands on Henry’s shoulders, grounding him. Henry’s rocking started to slow but his hands continued to yank at his ears viciously.

“Baby, I need you to stop hurting yourself okay?”, Alex could feel sobs build up in his own chest as he watched Henry.

Henry groaned in response shaking his head, then bashing it on the bed frame twice.

“Come on baby, I’ll help okay?” Alex knew he needed to stop Henry before he hurt himself but also knew that he was desperately trying to soothe the feeling that was overwhelming him.

Alex reached out, putting his hands behind Henry’s head, so instead of hitting the bed, he met Alex’s fingers. The bashing started to slow, until stopping completely. Alex then began running his fingers through Henry’s soft hair.

Leaving one hand behind his head, Alex moved the other to press Henry’s head onto his shoulder. This way both of his ears could be covered, one by Alex’s shoulder, the other by his hand.

Henry still rocked, moving Alex with him. He could feel tears wetting the front of his t-shirt, and he swallowed, fighting back tears at seeing Henry in so much pain.

After what could have been hours, Henry came to a still position. Alex still slightly rocking him, running his fingers through his hair, humming because he knew Henry liked the sensation it made when his head was against Alex’s chest.

“Feeling better baby?” Alex whispered.

Henry nodded in response, not feeling up to talking quite yet.

“Wanna go to bed sweetheart?” Alex continued whispering. Henry nodded again, closing his eyes.

“Okay, I’m gonna let go and get the bed ready baby, but I’ll be right here if you need me.”

Alex then made the bed back up, placing the pillows in the pattern they had developed, tucking the duvet into the corners. All whilst narrating his actions to Henry, keeping him occupied.

“Alright baby, time to get in.”

He helped Henry stand up, and climb onto the bed, tucking him in and settling in himself. He placed Henry’s head on his chest, resuming the hand that was stroking through Henry’s hair.

“There we go honey” Alex soothed.

“Thank you” Henry croaked out.

“You don’t need to thank me baby, I’ll always help you.” Alex spoke softly, squeezing Henry tighter.

“Wanna talk about it?”, he asked.

Henry shook his head, “Morning.”

“Alright honey. You go to sleep then, I’ll be right here.” Alex pressed a kiss to Henry’s hair.

He felt himself drifting off soon after Henry’s breaths evened out.

They’ll talk through the meltdown in the morning. All he needs to know is that his Henry is safe in his arms, that’s all that matters.