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“ Do You think love can happen for us?” The question ran laps in my head since the day you told me you loved me… even if it was as friends. I looked speaking into the mirror, viewing every detail of my own face thinking of your hands. I almost want to think its crazy falling for.. you, I’ve known you my whole life, yet your love for me seems much further then mine. You kept telling me to always look on the bright side of relationships..yet I can’t help but see ours in the dark.
“Jungkook, hurry your ass out of the bathroom, other people have to shit too,” Taehyung yelled beating on the door.
Jungkook wiped his eyes that was forming tears, and washed his hands “Yeah, okay.” I spoke not wanting to face him in the dorm, though I’ve known you so long.. I get nervous seeing your face.
Jungkook opens the door, while Tae forces his way through. “Took you long e-enough.. I Gotta go” he spoke slamming the door “Don’t slam doors in this place, it's too damn small in here for that.” Jin uttered from the living room.. as if he were our mother..”hyung?” Jungkook spoke walking to the couch. Jin was on his switch playing animal crossing.. jin hyung is so sweet..I don’t think anyone of us would be in one piece or on track if it wasn’t for him. “Yeah, what’s up kook?” He asked putting the switch down. I let a smile grow on my face..
I wish I could tell you everything hyung..
“Nothing, im gonna go to bed,” Jungkook spoke but let his smile drop, jin may be a little childish but he wasn’t dumb.. he’s older he knows when something up with his friends. “Are you sure kook?” He smiled showing him everything will be fine. “Yeah.. all good. Im just tired.” I smiled back.. trying to avoid jins “mom” talk.
Jungkook makes his way to his room.. when he walks in he doesn’t make eye contact with his other member and heads to his bed. “Kook..” The voice creeps up next to him. Jungkook turns over and sees him “y..yeah” he leans up looking at his roommate.. trying his hardest to not show any emotion. “We're doing shopping tomorrow right?”
Jungkook rolls his eyes and turns back over to go to sleep. “Yeah, if you can’t remember yoongi maybe you should write it down,” I expressed with a little anger.. making me have butterflies all to know about tomorrow.. you gotta be messing with me..
“Excuse me? Did you forget im older than you?” Yoongi spoke, sharp and cold, it got jungkooks attention for sure. Jungkook turns over and looks at him. “I—im sorry hyung..” Yoongi walks over to his bed and sits down. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you recently but that was uncalled for.” He looks so disappointed in me.. how could I ever confess to him. “It won’t happen again hyung.” Yoongi didn’t even acknowledge Kook's words he lay down and turned over.
Shit.. im screwed if namjoon finds out about this.
Jungkook lays back down facing his ceiling.. if you never became an idol.. would we still be close.. jungkook thought as he slid his earbuds into his ears and played the first song on this playlist. Conan Gray - The Story
And tears form.. “let me tell you a story..” The words fell out his mouth as he started crying harder, he holds his mouth to not wake yoongi. He eventually falls asleep from crying so hard.
Nether yoongi nor jungkook woke up on time, so Jin and Tae went shopping instead.
“Wake up.” Namjoon spoke from the door, while Jimin slid in and jumped on yoongis bed.
“Wake upppp… me and Hobi have a surprise for you,” Jimin said shaking yoongi.
Jungkook was already awake but definitely wasn’t going to try and wake yoongs up, “im sorry I wasn’t up to go shopping..” Jungkook mumbled. I hate being the youngest.. they expect so much out of me, but they don’t know I fight every day.. I want to be actually happy for one day. Not just performing for army.. Namjoon opens the door all the way “it's fine but don’t say you’ll do something when you know you can’t.”
And he walked out before I could say anything..”its okay kook..” Jimin said softly “yeah, im sure he’s just mad because he broke jin favorite frying pan..” Hobi said walking in after namjoon left.
Still… I feel so worthless
“Move Jimin let me get him up.” Hobi said sitting on top of yoongi “Oop- someone has morning wood.” He chuckled as he started to tickle yoongi. Yoongi didn’t even move, his eyes just opened and we all got scared except hobi.. that's another reason I have no chance with you, you're in love with someone else.. someone ill never be. We're just two worlds apart..
Yoongi sits up shoos Jimin and hobi out, “Let me shower.” When they closed the door his eye pierced me. “You didn’t wake me, why?” I gulped..I hope it wasn’t loud “To be fair hyung you’re scary.” I was still afraid to make eye contact with him.. yoongi walked over to me and lifted my head up to face him. “We’ve been friends forever.. no need to be afraid of someone you love right?”
Love..
“Yeah..” I give a fake laugh, yet he doesn’t let go of my face.. “you know I love you jungkook..right?” he said so softly.
Yeah as friends
“Yeah I know”
Yoongi gives me his gummy smile and heads to the bathroom. I hate him.. why must he confuse me with his words..you know I love you… do you .. do you yoongi.. I think you just love fucking with me..
Jungkook put his earbuds in and headed to the gym, to meet up with namjoon, tae, Jimin, and jin. he couldn’t understand why he felt so angry that yoongi didn’t love him back as he did.. what’s wrong with me..
***
He went from squats to straight deadlifting.. his body wasn’t strong enough for that yet he still placed the weights on while namjoon and the other members noticed jk in his own world..
“Is he okay..” Tae walked over to namjoon.. with worry on his face he sees tears falling from jungkooks eyes. “Why is he crying..”
“Hes crying..” Jimin uttered with his voice dropping..
“Call yoongi, he should know.. jk tells him everything.” Namjoon told and went back to work while looking over at jk every now and then.
Jimin grabs his phone and texted yoongi.
Jimin: hey, did anything happen to jk this morning ? He’s trying to deadlift and he’s crying..
Yoongi: I don’t know, why would I know..
Jimin : you're like his best friend.. he trusts you with everything..
Yoongi: well not that I know of, we had a conversation before he left but he seemed fine..ill text him and see what’s up..
When jungkook realized he couldn’t lift he got even angrier.. and frustrated with just everything.. “fuck!” He yells and walks off to the shower room, he grabs his he clothes to change into and just stared into the mirror.. “you're pathetic..” Thats when jungkook received a text message from yoongi
Yoongi: hey, are you okay?
Why do you care.. Jungkook thought as he read that message. He thought about how to respond and if he even should.
Jungkook: yeah y?
Yoongi: just wanted to check up on you, you seemed a little off this morning..anything you wanna talk about?
Oh, how could I..
Jungkook: nothing you can help me with, just a personal problem. Sorry hyung
Yoongi: boy im much older, I can help I can help if you just tell me, you know I don’t judge, and I love you. Im here for you kook.
Jungkook looked at that text “Maybe it won’t be a bad idea..” He spoke out loud. Then Jimin comes in “what won’t be a bad idea?” He repeated, moving closer in trying his hardest to be as nosy as he can be.
Jimin was the nosiest out of everyone. He loved drama and loved knowing everything so even though it was normal, jungkook was not in the mood for it today.
“I..uh.. just rather take a shower at home.” I lied.
Jimin kinda knew he was lying his face said it all.. but he wasn’t going to force it. Jungkook grabbed his things and walked out of the gym and started to just walk, with no direction.
Yoongi: come by my studio and let's talk. Just me and you. Okay?
Jungkook hears the text come through an remembered he never texted yoongi back.. shit..yoongi
He grabs his phone and looks at the text.. just me and you..
Even though we’ve been alone together many times.. this time seems different.. I feel more nervous than usual.
***
As Jungkook made it in the building, it started pouring outside. “I didn’t know was going to rain today..” Jungkook shook his head and made his way up to yoongis studio.. nervously afraid to knock on the door. As he was getting himself ready to knock the door opens.
Both of their eyes match. And yoongi could tell jungkook needed him as his eyes were glossy and red, seeing the sweat dripping off jungkooks face, his face all red. “Come in..” Yoongi spoke moving out the way to let him in.
“Yoongi..” Jungkook barely let out. Looking down at his feet.
“Look at me when you’re talking Jungkook..” Yoongi demanded.
Jungkook couldn’t refuse when his hyung spoke like that.. I mean it is respectful..
He turned to face yoongi and saw a shine in his eyes.. woah.. he’s so handsome..
Yoongi witnessed his eyes go from sad to soft, and in love, yoongi tried not to smile at the sight of seeing his doe eyes..
“Hyung..”
“Call me yoongi again..” Yoongi interrupted with a delicate tone.
Jungkooks face was slowly growing pink..
As he tries to calm his breathing he spoke once more looking into his eyes.. “yoongi”
Jungkook couldn’t get the words out, and he felt the humiliation wash over him.. he began to cry again. Feels his body ache, and everything around him becomes dark. You shouldn’t have come here.. you know he doesn’t love you like that.. he never will..you should give up.
His thoughts flood his body and he covers his ears and he cries harder, yoongi grabs him..”it—its okay” He holds him close..”its going to be okay.” Yoongi can feel his body shaking..and it hurts him on the inside that he can’t take this pain away from him.
“Tell me what’s wrong, so I can fix it..please kook..— I want to make you happy.” He whispered into his ear, making jungkook cry harder.
He wants to make you happy as a friend.. Nothing more. The negative thoughts rush his head making his head spin. “Make them be quiet..please Hyung..—please.” Yoongi eyes fill with tears hearing the pain in his voice..
Yoongi didn’t know what to do. “Look at me!” Jungkook refused to look at him..”Look at me..Damnit..” yoongi started to cry.. waiting for him to look. Jungkook looks at him wondering why he’s crying.. “Hyung…”
“Tell me— what do I have to do…”
Jungkook just stares at yoongi, observing the tears fall from his eyes.. I’ve never seen him like this..
“—Please..tell me.” Yoongi begs out, sobbing harder.
“Kiss me” rolled right off jungkooks tongue..
Without hesitation, yoongi held jungkooks face and placed his lips on his. Letting the salty tears intertwine with the kiss. Jungkook couldn’t believe what was happing.. but all of his thoughts were gone…
Yoongi didn’t kiss him because he felt pity for him.. he kissed him because he had been waiting for the right moment..
When they drew apart, yoongi wiped the tears from jungkooks face. “Im sorry I didn’t kiss you sooner..”
( for months yoongi was in the same boat was jungkook he was just better at hiding his feelings, he also didn’t know how jungkook would feel if he told him he had romantic feelings for him, he was scared.. so he just stayed as close as he could without crossing the line. But with both of them afraid to cross that line it caused them both emotional and physical pain.. )
Jungkook couldn’t smile.. he was still unsure..” Was this real.. hyung”
Yoongis heart dropped.. just for a second.. because for that split second, he thought of the future.. and he looked at jungkook and smiled softly..” hell yea it was— and don’t make me tell you again.. call me by my name.”
They both smiled..
“Im glad it was..” Jungkook covered his face and fell into yoongis lap.
Yoongi laughed and nudged his body “Get off, im to old for that lovey-dovey shit.” That only made jungkook hold onto him tighter. Deep down yoongi didn’t mind it..
“Fine” yoongi rolled his eyes and leaned his back on the wall, rubbing jungkooks head, and playing with his hair.
Jungkook mumbled. “Thought lovey dovey shit wasn’t your thing.” He laughed.
Yoongis smiled “want me to stop.”
“NO!”
“Then shut up..” Yoongi spoke feeling the most relaxed as he ever felt, in fact the most relaxed as they ever felt.
(Jungkook laid there in his lap, feeling like the world could end and he would still be happy.. those voices was wrong..he does love me.. the butterflies left his stomach..he became calm and safe.. he still couldn’t believe this was real and that yoongi actually kissed him.. but he was happy regardless.)
***
They both ended up falling asleep in the studio, while the rain was pouring, nothing could ruin this moment.. the world just stopped for them, enjoying their time together, they left their worries leave.
After years and failed relationships, they realized finally who they were meant to be with, love does come true at the right time, with the right person.. and sometimes you’ve known that person nearly your whole life..
Something told me not to give up on him.. so I didn’t..it left me in pain for years, and felt like I could just never be the right person for him.. I guess in the end love can happen for us.. im glad I never gave up on ..you.