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He left in April.
Left with nothing but a note and the ghost of his presence in the pouring rain.
Katsuki should’ve seen it coming after everything that happened with the league and Shigaraki. It was the obvious next move to the nerd, but…
But at what cost?
For what little sanity Deku had left? For the hopeless dream that what he was doing would somehow spare us all from the inevitable grasp of the upcoming war? That shit wasn’t leaving even if he wrapped it all up in a neat little bow and left with it in the middle of the night.
To Katsuki, he saw no way to avoid their future, all he saw was an idiot leaving to fight a war alone. Sacrificing himself for some greater good that has no positive outcome. And the worst part was that Deku knew that there was no way out of it.
Also, it was April .
Katsuki’s birthday .
And now, his first birthday without the nerd around in some way or another.
It hurt more than he cared to think about. He wasted no time crumpling up the note Deku left and trashing it. He read the thing through enough times to have all the words memorized anyway, what’s the use of keeping it around like it’s some promise that he’d come back safe and sound. Like Deku actually regretted leaving right before his birthday.
Like he cared.
Katsuki didn’t know what it was that made him propose the idea of going after Deku to his classmates. Maybe because he was angry, or scared, or just plain stupid. Whatever it was though, it must’ve resonated with the rest of the class since they all agreed to come with him to find Deku and to get him back to UA. Or maybe their easy agreement had something to do with how many of their lives the nerd had touched in their short time being in the hero course.
With Endeavor’s help, they were granted the freedom to go and find him. The principal wasn’t happy but Katsuki could see the relief in Aizawa’s eyes when their plan was accepted. He knew that their teacher was just as anxious about his problem child as they all were. And he sadly knew the only way to get him to come back lay in the hands of his students, a bunch of teenagers who had no right going through this trauma for one another.
Katsuki and the others took longer than they anticipated to find Deku though even with the coordinates Endeavor gave them. But there he was, surrounded by a bunch of extras and not even trying to fight back against them. If Katsuki didn’t care about him as much as he did, he'd make sure the nerd knew how pathetic he looked right now.
But insults weren’t going to do anything today, they weren’t going to bring Deku home and out of this rain. Katsuki knew what he had to do, despite how much he hated admitting it.
Taking care of whatever weakass villain that was targeting Deku was easy. A couple carefully placed blasts and the fucker was ready to turn themselves in.
Getting Deku to talk, however, was the difficult part.
He took off running before anyone could get a word in, instantly leaping to the sky without so much as a thank you for saving his ass. The others immediately knew what they had to do and they planned for this kind of thing.
Capturing Deku took more effort than Katsuki and the rest of the class would like to admit. He was a slippery guy when he wanted to be and the fact that he wielded more quirks than necessary didn’t help.
Usually Deku would jump at the chance to talk but now, Katsuki wasn’t even sure he recognized the look in his eyes. It felt so defeated, more so than the years he spent enduring Katsuki’s bullying. It felt like a piece of Deku was already lost to the war that hadn’t even really begun yet and Katsuki decided right then and there that he hated that look on Deku.
After the apology, and everyone else saying their piece. After round face and the others convinced the rest of the extras in their safe haven at UA to let Deku stay with them while he rests. After all of that bullshit , Katsuki still feels like he could do more for Deku to help lessen this burden he’s been carrying.
That’s how Katsuki finds himself knocking on the nerd’s door late into the night, later than Katsuki usually stays up. Of course, Deku isn’t as strict with his sleeping schedule like Katsuki is so he answers the door almost instantly.
“Kacchan?” Deku whispers, like he isn’t quite sure if it’s really Katsuki at his door or not.
He just scuffs, pushing his way into Deku’s room.
“W-why are you here?” The nerd asks after shutting his door.
Katsuki shrugs, not entirely sure himself why he came and ended up just saying the first thing that came to his mind.
“Felt like I needed to.”
“Okay…” Deku draws out, studying Katsuki with his eyes with an unreadable expression on his face.
“I don’t know, nerd, I just felt like you could’ve used some company or whatever. I’m sure you’re gonna have nightmares or some shit so here I am.” He grits out.
Deku continues studying him, looking for some kind of answer Katsuki isn’t even sure he can give him. Eventually the nerd just shrugs his shoulders, walking over to his bed and gesturing for Katsuki to follow, “Whatever you say, Kacchan.”
“I mean it, Deku.” He most certainly does not pout as he follows to sit on the bed next to Deku. “Just wanted to make sure you sleep well. Cause you know… you came back to rest, remember? Gotta make sure you actually do.”
“Sure,” Deku smiles at him, something knowing gleaming in his eyes.
“Whatever, just- just lay down and go to sleep.”
“Okay, Kacchan.” Deku smiles at him as they lay down right next to one another on their backs, shoulders touching.
Kastuki’s heart rate picks up without his permission. “I’m just here to help you sleep.”
“Okay, Kacchan.”
He can practically hear the smile in the other boy’s voice but refuses to acknowledge it. Katsuki doesn’t know what made him come here in the first place but his brain is much quieter and his heart feels more at peace when he’s closer to Deku so who is he to go against his body’s wishes.
And so what if being this close to Deku makes his heart feel funny and his stomach churn with fucking butterflies or some shit. Not like he actually likes the nerd or anything, right?
Right?
Okay so maybe he does like Deku. Maybe he’s liked him ever since he saw how strong he had gotten and how he always pushed himself to be stronger and stronger. Maybe Katsuki liked how driven Deku was, matching his own determination and drive to become number one.
Maybe at some point, Katsuki stopped seeing Izuku as his rival and instead saw him as his motivator. His number one fan, ever since they were brats.
And now, he definitely knows that Deku knows how Katsuki feels. If there’s one thing Deku is, it’s perceptive. Whether it deals with quirks or just how someone is acting, he always somehow just knows .
So when Katsuki reaches his hand over in search of Deku’s, he finds the nerd’s hand already reaching out too. They intertwine their fingers together in silence but Katsuki can practically feel the other vibrating with unspoken words that he’s too tired to speak.
Katsuki breaks the silence for him, “Please, just don’t leave like that again, Izuku.”
And it’s silent again for a while.
Eventually, Katsuki turns his head towards Deku, seeing if the other is asleep yet but finds him staring right at Katsuki instead. There’s an unreadable expression on his face, one that Katsuki can’t decipher. His smile was so incredibly soft and his eyes huge and slightly watery, like he could burst into tears at any moment.
It isn’t until Deku speaks that Katsuki gets that he feels the same way. Deku has also been holding onto this feeling of falling for Katsuki. Maybe it’s been longer than Katsuki or maybe it just started but either way, it makes Katsuki’s heart swoop in happiness and he gives the other a small smile.
Nothing eventful happens after that. They eventually do fall asleep, resting from the high of the day they had experienced. Their hands never do leave one another’s, offering one another comfort in the depths of sleep that they both knew they needed.
Izuku may have left on his birthday, they may have found the other in the pouring rain, but Katsuki still feels like the luckiest person in the world.
He would brave any type of weather for the other and would take the hurt of spending any day apart if it meant that Deku,
his
Deku, would still feel this way about him.