Archive of Our Own ^beta

Luke hikes the strap of his backpack higher up onto his shoulder as the final warning bell sounds, loud and shrill in the now empty hallway. His converse squeak softly against the dulling marble of the floor. There’s a CAUTION: WET FLOOR sign kicked off to the side of the hallway, covered and surrounded with muddy shoe marks.

Reaching into the pocket of his dark gray hoodie, Luke pulls out his phone and the plugged in earphones, shoves the latter into his ears and opens the music app on his phone, where Take This To Your Grave is already waiting to be played. He presses the play button and slips the phone back into his pocket, the familiarity of Patrick’s voice belting through the earphones setting a calm in his restless bones as he makes his way towards the exit of the building.

Luke’s mind is wandering with the music when the bathroom door swings open in front of him. Luke stops, but in his effort to not bang into the door he ends up skidding on the slippery floor and falls flat on his behind.

To make matters worse, Luke looks up and finds himself staring into the face of Calum Hood, only the boy he’s been obsessively dreaming about since he first knew how to obsessively dream about people, three years ago as a scrawny freshman (and probably longer if he's being honest with himself). Of course, Calum is no longer a scrawny freshman, not with the way his soccer-toned thighs fill out his black jeans and the sleeves of his black t-shirt are clinging to his tanned, tattooed arms. No, he’s definitely grown into himself.

 It’s while Luke is still admiring Calum’s arms that he realizes the boy is talking to him.

“Shit, you okay man?” Calum asks, his expression a mix of surprise and concern. It does nothing to soothe Luke’s wounded ego, nor his aching tailbone. This is not how he wanted their first out-of-classroom encounter to happen.

Luke notices Calum’s current companion and best friend, Michael Clifford, howling with laughter. Luke hates Michael. He has since freshman year. It’s partly because when they were in middle school, Michael was like Luke – a loner who couldn’t quite find his place within the social hierarchy. In fact, Michael’s only friend was Calum. But since starting high school, Calum’s soccer team induced popularity has somehow extended to Michael as well. Luke can't help but be slightly jealous. But if he’s going to be honest with himself, the real reason he hates Michael is because of how close he is with Calum. The two are rarely seen without each other and there’s been a fair bit of discussion about the nature of their relationship. 

And now Michael is laughing at him. As if it isn’t humiliating enough to be on the floor in front of Calum, he has to be reminded of just how much of a loser he is. 

“M’fine,” Luke mumbles and makes to finally get off the floor.

“Here,” Calum thrusts his hand under Luke’s nose. It takes a second for Luke to realize that Calum is offering to help him up. It takes another second for Luke process that he is actually about to touch Calum. As in, actual skin-on-skin contact. He’s waited four years for this moment, and now that it’s come, it’s when his hands are all sticky and disgusting from the dirty hallway floor. 

It occurs to Luke that he’s majorly over-thinking this so he hastily wipes his hands on his jeans and takes Calum’s hand, deliberately ignoring the way his heart thumps when they make contact. Calum hoists him to his feet and Luke barely manages to get out his thanks.

“No problem,” Calum flashes a quick smile that almost has Luke back on the floor. Standing up, Luke is probably a couple of inches taller than Calum. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to note this. “What happened anyway?”

“Oh you know, just testing gravity.” It’s out of Luke’s mouth as his standard answer before he realizes just how childish it probably sounds and he almost winces.

“Yeah, I suppose that was a bit of a dumb question,” Calum chuckles. Luke has to literally bite his lip to stop from blurting out how it wasn’t at all, how nothing Calum does could ever be dumb. Instead he settles on fiddling with the ring on his pinkie finger for lack of anything else to do. They fall into an awkward silence until they hear Michael clear this throat from further along the hallway where Luke didn’t even noticed him stray to.

“Cal?” he calls. Calum turns to face him.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.” He turns back to Luke. “Sure you’re alright? I’ve probably got some painkillers in my locker or something…”

“No, really, I’m fine,” Luke insists. “It’s not the first time it’s happened. Honestly, I’m used to a sore butt.” Luke only really hears how that comes out just as Calum quirks an eyebrow. “Fuck, I didn’t mean like- I just meant, like, from falling. Not that, like- fuck, just forget…” Luke trails off as he realizes that Calum is laughing. It’s quite the sight to behold, the way his eyes crinkle and the corners of his mouth quirk and his whole face seems to soften. Luke would probably be able to appreciate it better if he wasn’t going into shock at the fact that he’s made Calum laugh, regardless of whether it’s at him or with him. He still hasn’t gotten over the five seconds or so of contact when Calum was helping him up. 

Eventually Calum stops laughing and there’s just a small smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Alright, well, I should go before Mikey throws a tantrum,” he finally says and Luke’s stomach drops. “But, hey, there’s a party at mine tomorrow. You should come by, if you’re not, like, busy or anything.”

Luke is pretty sure he does go into shock this time. His mouth is definitely working on autopilot when he says, “Yeah, sure,” because his brain still hasn’t gotten around to computing the contact and the laughing, much less an invitation.

“Cool,” Calum grins as he begins to back away towards where Michael is now tapping his foot impatiently. “47 Emerson Way. See you around, Luke!” And with that he tugs on Michael’s sleeve and the two boys walk away, Michael turning to give Luke an odd look over his shoulder.

 Luke doesn’t know how long he stands there, trying to process what just happened, but he does know he’s never been more appreciative of wet floors.

* * * 

By the time Luke arrives at the front door, it sounds like the party is already in full swing. As Luke rings the bell, he struggles to repress the music snob in him that wants to scrunch up his nose at the cheesy, top 40, radio-friendly music pouring out of the open windows.

He isn’t waiting for very long before the door swings open and Michael is staring at him like he’s grown an extra head. Luke doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say. Hi? Calum invited me? 

Fortunately he’s saved from having to say anything when recollection seems to dawn on Michael.

“Oh right,” he mutters. “This way.” He turns and walks into the house and Luke quickly follows, kicking the door shut behind him. He tails Michael as the black-haired boy maneuvers through people Luke recognizes from school but probably hasn’t exchanged more than five words with each at best.

Eventually they come to the kitchen and Michael calls,

“Cal! It’s your boy!”

Luke would probably be going into cardiac arrest at being referred to as “Calum’s boy” if he wasn’t too pre-occupied going into cardiac arrest at the sight of Calum himself. The dark-haired boy is leaned against a counter on the other side of the kitchen, surrounded by a small crowd of people who all seem to be vying for his attention. He’s dressed in his usual black jeans that show off his muscular legs and a black tank top with large armholes that give a great view of his toned torso. His hair is carefully styled, the blond tips straightened and gelled into place. He’s got a red cup in his hand and when he pulls it away from his mouth, the content leaves his lips glistening invitingly. Luke is awestruck.

At Michael’s call, Calum turns towards them. His eyes meet Luke’s and his face breaks into a surprised smile.

“Hey!” he cheers, pushing off from the counter and walking towards Luke. “You came!”

“Yeah,” Luke swallows and manages a smile.

“Want a drink?” Calum offers, leading Luke to the table on which cups are stacked. “Sorry, I’ve only got beer left.”

“Beer’s fine.” Luke shrugs. Calum fills up a cup and hands it over and Luke curses internally at the way his stomach flips when their hands brush.

They fall into a silence as they both sip on their drinks for lack of anything to say. Luke lets his eyes wander over the other attendees. They all seem pretty drunk; loud, uninhibited and barely coherent. A part of Luke wishes he was on their level – it would help dispel at least some of his awkwardness – but at the same time he’s glad he’s not because he would probably be making a fool of himself and Calum would be here to see it. Not that he hasn’t already embarrassed himself in front of Calum, but he would probably do a thousand times worse than just slip if he was drunk-

His thoughts are interrupted when Michael returns to the kitchen.

“Oi! Cal! Come on, we’re playing 7 minutes.” He walks over to them and grabs Calum by the arm, pulling him out of the kitchen.

“Luke, come on,” Calum beckons and Luke follows.

They walk into what Luke assumes is usually the living room, when the furniture isn’t pushed to the side of the room as it is now. Michael and Calum sit down in a circle of people on the carpet. The only available gap Luke can see is across from them, between a girl he recognizes from his AP calculus class and a boy he’s fairly sure he’s never seen in his life. Looking directly across from him, he’s greeted with the sight of Michael whispering something into Calum’s ear before leaning down and nuzzling into his neck. Calum laughs, but does nothing to push the other boy away. Luke’s stomach turns and he takes a gulp of his drink, tearing his gaze away.

The game has already begun and it isn’t long before someone calls time up and a red-faced girl and a proud-looking boy step out of a closet near the entrance, greeted by a chorus of cheers and whoops. More people take their turn spinning the empty vodka bottle and pairing up to visit the closet. A few people start to get bored, or thirsty, or tired, or horny, or too drunk to sit still so the circle gradually decreases in size.

Luke isn’t really paying attention anymore. He’s listening to the song blaring through the speakers and wondering if he could identify it if he tried hard enough, mainly in an attempt to distract himself from the way Michael keeps pressing small kisses on Calum’s neck, and, more specifically, the ugly feeling it causes in his gut. The song says something about driving to Cali and getting drunk on the beach. It's catchy, Luke has to admit. That’s when he hears someone calling his name.

“Luke!”

His head snaps up and he sees a few people watching him.

“What?”

“Your turn,” Michael says, kicking the bottle towards him. Luke swallows and reaches forward. Looking around the circle, he can’t point out anyone who he’d particularly want to go into the closet with, or befall the misery of going in with him. He spins anyway.

It’s an awful spin. It barely completes one revolution on the rough carpet before it comes to a stop. But Luke has bigger problems to think about than his bottle spinning skills. Primarily, how the bottle has come to a stop pointing in the gap between Calum and Michael.

Before he can decide against it, Luke chances a glance at their faces. They’re looking at each other and then Michael’s face breaks into a wide grin and he hooks his arm around Calum’s shoulder and pulls him closer, causing Calum to slide down against him.

“Alright, Calum!” Michael announces. Calum pushes up and his cheeks tinge pink as he glares at Michael, muttering something under his breath that makes Michael laugh. And this is just Luke’s worst nightmare. They probably know about Luke’s weird crush on Calum and, while Calum is trying to be nice and let him down easy, Michael is using it as a way to humiliate Luke because their hatred is mutual. Luke really doesn’t need this.

“I’ll just spin again,” he suggests, reaching for the bottle again.

“Nah,” Calum’s voice causes Luke to look up again. He continues talking as he gets up and stretches out his limbs. “One spin per person. That’s the rule.”

 Luke doesn’t move. Luke is confused as to what’s happening. Luke doesn’t know if there’s some twist to their version of this game where he’s supposed to call out a bluff or something. Luke just isn’t sure he understands what he’s meant to be doing here.

But then Calum is looking down at him with an arm held out, cocks his head towards the closet and says,

“C’mon.”

Luke places his hand in Calum’s and lets the dark haired boy pull him up. He follows him to the closet and when Calum opens it and gestures for him to step inside, he obeys.

It’s dimly lit with one light bulb hanging down from the wooden panel that serves as the ceiling. It’s not particularly large and Luke supposes it’s usually used as a broom closet. At least, he would suppose so if he had the capacity to think about such things in this moment. As it is, he doesn’t have that capacity, can't think of anything except how Calum enters and shuts the closet door and turns to face him.

The closet is tiny. It’s definitely not made for two boys, both on the taller side and Luke finds himself closer to Calum than he ever expected to be in his life. His heart is hammering in his ears and, as neither of them is saying anything, Luke is willing to bet Calum can hear it as well. The light bulb suddenly feels too warm, too bright, too exposing of the beads of sweat Luke can feel forming along his hairline.

“Um,” Luke begins in a feeble attempt to cover up the sound of his racing heartbeat. “We don’t have to…uh…you know…do anything…” Calum’s lips quirk upwards in a small smirk that Luke only wishes he understood. He clears his throat and continues. “I mean, we could just talk…if you- if you’d rather not…”

Luke is vaguely aware that his mouth is still moving and words are pouring out, but he has no idea what those words are because Calum steps even closer to him which, in the tight closet, puts them chest to chest. He can see the detail of Calum’s face; the two small moles on his cheek, the pink flush on his high cheekbones, the dark brown of his eyes clouded with…something. Luke has to look away, can't bear to look calum in the eyes. But then Calum is reaching around, placing his hand gently but firmly on the back of Luke’s neck, pulling him down.

Calum’s lips are on Luke’s. Calum is kissing Luke. Actually kissing him. As in, Calum’s mouth is moving against Luke’s, slowly, inquisitively. It takes Luke several seconds to realize that he isn’t responding, isn’t kissing back, is standing stock-still. And then he spurs into action. 

Luke is awkward and confused but he’s been given probably a once-in-a-lifetime chance and he isn’t just going to throw it away. He tries to display some of the confidence that comes easy to Calum and kisses him back aggressively, settling his hands on Calum's waist. Calum runs his tongue along Luke's bottom lip, trails it over his lip ring before biting down on the latter and tugging gently on it with his teeth. Luke jerks at the feeling, grips Calum tighter and pulls him closer. In his haste, he does so a little too roughly and Calum stumbles into him, their legs knocking against each other's.

But now they’re pressed against each other along the length of their bodies and Luke doesn’t want to be presumptuous here, but he’s fairly sure he can feel something distinct against his thigh. And then Calum (who clearly isn’t shy at all) shifts and slots his thigh between Luke’s in a way that makes them fit better and, yeah, that’s definitely his dick Luke is feeling. Which…well. Luke is overwhelmed, to say the least.

For lack of a better way to react, Luke’s brain kicks into overdrive. Suddenly, he’s pushing Calum against the opposite wall and pressing into him, reveling in the surprised sound that leaves Calum’s mouth as his hands fly to Luke’s shoulders to steady himself. Luke’s hands, however, roam the length of Calum’s body. He’s almost convinced this is a dream anyway so he might as well enjoy it as best possible; feel as much of Calum’s body as he can. Also, he can’t decide which part of Calum he wants to touch most so he goes for all – his waist, his hips, the small of his back, the waistband of his jeans. He feels Calum’s hands find his waist before travelling around to his back, fingers digging in slightly as he grips Luke’s shirt. It’s a great feeling and Luke cups Calum’s face, kisses him even harder. Before long, Luke moves his mouth off Calum’s to kiss along his strong, smooth jaw. He can hear Calum panting hotly by his ear and the sound brings him a smug satisfaction, gives him the confidence to nip lightly at the tender skin below Calum’s ear. The dark-haired boy lets out a small gasp and Luke smirks against his skin. It’s then that he suddenly remembers the image of Michael’s lips pressed to Calum’s neck and he can’t help the small growl that forces itself out of him as a knot of jealousy forms in his stomach. He attaches his mouth to the exact spot Michael had been and bites down, swelling with pride at the noise that Calum makes, tilting his neck to give Luke better access. Luke sucks harshly on the skin where a bruise will no doubt blossom. He presses harder against Calum and breathes hotly against the mark.

“Tell me you’d like boys like me better in the dark lying on top of you,” he growls in a whisper, lips still pressed to Calum’s neck. A long, deep moan falls from Calum’s mouth and Luke’s chest tightens triumphantly.

“Mm fuck,” Calum pants as Luke continues to work his neck. “G-go upstairs after. I’ll m-meet you.”

Luke half considers sprinting upstairs immediately, anticipation almost getting the better of him, but then Calum starts rolling his hips up to meet Luke’s and he can’t think of a single reason to abandon his current situation. Trying to hold back the desperate whimpers Calum’s hips are causing within him, Luke bites down hard on the junction between Calum’s neck and his shoulder and the other boy hisses and digs his nails into Luke’s shoulder blades. Luke feels like he’s about to pass out. His mouth finds its way back to Calum’s and his hands continue their exploration of his body, feeling his exposed torso through the armholes of his tank before continuing down to his waistband. Trailing his hands along, Luke dips his fingers slightly beneath, pauses and waits for permission. He takes the way Calum grinds his hips harder as the response he’s looking for.

 He’s about to dip deeper when the door is yanked open and the two boys fall out of the closet in a flurry of heavy breathing and tangled limbs.

The living room is too bright and Luke squints, lifting his arm to shield his eyes from the harsh lighting. He hears Calum curse under his breath and, yeah, Luke feels the same, although he isn’t sure if for Calum it’s about the light, the impact or the interruption (for Luke it’s definitely the last one). When Luke’s eyes finally adjust enough to the brightness, he becomes aware of Michael looking down at them with a practiced-to-perfection arch to his pierced eyebrow. His eyes slide from Luke over to Calum and he smirks mischievously.

“Wow, Cal, I haven’t seen you this red since we were fourteen and I had my hand down your pants!”

Luke really hates Michael. He’s never hated anyone or anything as much as he hates the black-haired boy. Luke barely manages to keep the scowl off his face, but when he turns to look at Calum, he must admit that Michael has a point. Calum’s face is heavily flushed and there’s a light sheen of sweat on his forehead. His lips are kiss-swollen, a bright red shade and slightly parted as he’s still panting softly. His previously styled hair is now a mess, sticking up at odd angles. He looks a bit of a state and Luke has never felt more proud.

“Fuck off, Mike,” Calum mumbles, swatting at Michael’s leg. The standing boy cackles. “Where is everyone?”

Sure enough, when Luke looks past Michael, there are only two people in the room and they seem too pre-occupied with their hushed conversation to notice the three boys.

“Got bored, wandered off,” Michael shrugs. “There’s a bunch in the kitchen. Most are in the backyard. Come on,” Michael grabs Calum’s hand and helps him up. “Ashton just got here.”

Luke knows who Ashton is – dude with massive arms who used to be the goalkeeper on the soccer team with until he graduated two years ago – but Michael says his name with a lilt to his voice and a wide grin on his face and Luke can’t help but wonder what’s so special about Ashton’s arrival, especially when Michael slings his arm around Calum and starts leading him away. But then Calum turns back and mouths “upstairs”, quelling the bubbling jealousy that Luke won't admit to harbouring. His heart skips a beat and he scrambles to his feet, all but runs up the stairs, all the while trying to convince himself that he isn’t desperate, not at all. 

Up the stairs, Luke finds himself in a dark, empty hallway. He leans against the wall and lets out an unbelieving puff of air, wondering how on earth any of this is happening, if any of this is happening or if it’s just another of those dreams, more vivid and detailed than usual. A door opens and light floods the hallway as a giggling couple step out of what appears to be the bathroom. They cling to each other as they head towards the stairs, barely noticing Luke’s presence. Luke envies them. As the minutes pass, he can’t help but wonder if Calum is coming up at all, or if this whole thing was just one big joke. He wouldn’t be surprised if Michael thought of it and roped Calum into helping him out.

But then Luke hears footsteps bounding up the stairs and then Calum appears, striding towards Luke, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him through one of the doors opposite the bathroom. It’s not difficult to tell that this is Calum’s bedroom.

The door has barely shut behind them before Calum is attacking Luke’s mouth. This time Luke responds immediately, kissing back and bringing his hands to Calum’s slender waist. The dark-haired boy doesn’t waste time in walking Luke backwards to the bed, pushing him down onto it. Luke quickly shifts higher up and Calum follows, straddling him and reattaching their mouths. They kiss hard and when Calum’s hands slip under Luke’s shirt and he begins to grind down, the blond boy sucks in a sharp breath. Calum’s hands dance over Luke’s skin and everywhere that he touches feels like it has been set on fire. It’s when Calum takes Luke’s nipples between his thumbs and index fingers and tweaks them semi harshly that Luke decides he’s too worked up to lie still.

In a swift movement he grabs Calum and flips them over, reveling in the way the darker boy’s eyes widen briefly as Luke hovers over him, hands on either side of his head. Luke leans down and presses his mouth to Calum’s again, bringing their bodies close as his hand settles on Calum’s hip. When Calum snakes his hand between them and palms Luke through his jeans, Luke’s grip tightens to the point that Calum will probably be bruised. Luke pulls back and yanks his shirt off, helps Calum with his off as well then dives back down, fastening his mouth to Calum’s jaw. The older boy lets out a low moan as Luke begins to kiss his way down his body, mouthing at his jaw, his neck, marking up his collarbones just beneath his tattoos, sucking on and grazing his teeth over his peaked nipples, ghosting his mouth over his defined abs, licking down his feather-light happy trail and arriving at his jeans. He glances up at Calum who has propped himself up on his elbows, nods once to tell Luke to continue. Luke undoes the button and Calum lifts his hips in assistance and Luke tugs his jeans down, boxers coming with them.

Luke can't believe this is happening. He runs his hands along Calum’s thighs, squeezing them and appreciating the way they tense in anticipation. He kisses his way up them and bites, sucks a mark into the tender skin high up on the inside of one, running his tongue over it soothingly when Calum hisses and jerks. Luke loves how intimate it is, how anybody that goes there will see that he was there before them. When he can't wait any longer, Luke finally lets his eyes rest on Calum’s exposed dick, flushed red and hard, sprung against his stomach. It’s the prettiest thing Luke has ever seen. He takes it in his hand, pumps a few times then wraps his lips around the head and Calum huffs out his name breathily as he sinks down. Luke sucks hard and fast, keen to please. Calum is watching him, lips parted, flushed and panting, his stomach fluttering with his breaths and Luke can feel his gaze so intensely that it gets to him too much and he has to unfasten his jeans and get his other hand on his own dick because he just can't wait.

“Fuck,” Calum breathes, his voice deep, and Luke is so proud to be having that effect on him, smiles around his dick and takes even more of him in because he has a big mouth that might as well be put to good use and he does like to show off a little. He raises his gaze to meet Calum’s and the older boy moans and drops his head back, squeezing his eyes shut. His arms give out and he falls against the bed, bites down on his lip and brings an arm up over his face.

“Luke- m’gonna- fuck, I’m-” his words are lost to another groan as Luke hollows his cheeks. He starts thrusting up and Luke has to hold down Calum’s hips with the hand that was previously getting himself off. Frustrated at the loss of contact, he ruts against the bed, the friction bringing some relief. Soon Calum tenses and then he’s coming down Luke’s throat with a low, broken moan.

Luke swallows and clambers up the bed, kissing Calum immediately. The boy underneath whimpers but kisses back. It isn’t long before his hand snakes into Luke’s pants and his fingers curl around Luke’s dick, and Luke stops kissing him and pulls back, pauses, surprised at how quickly Calum is able to get back into it. Calum just smirks smugly and flicks his wrist, thumbs over the head and Luke jerks, falling against Calum’s shoulder with a groan. He’s panting against Calum’s neck and fucking into his fist for a while when he feels Calum’s free hand trying to push his jeans off. Luke springs up and stares down at Calum in shock. Calum’s smirk grows.

“Bit difficult to fuck me with your jeans on, no?”

Luke is honestly surprised he doesn’t black out right then. He wasn’t aware that this was what they were doing – obviously he hoped, but doubted. He’s a little nervous, as the last time he had properly had sex was in sophomore year, with a guy he hooked up with a few times before the guy called it off probably because Luke simply wasn’t cool enough. Not that Luke had minded really, already caught on Calum. And now here Calum is, looking up at him expectantly. Luke scrambles off the bed and flails wildly to get his skintight jeans off. He kicks his boxers off as well and climbs back onto the bed, only to find Calum watching him with hooded eyes and a finger already buried inside himself. Luke whimpers embarrassingly at the sight.

“Lube’s in there,” Calum nods over to the bedside drawer. Luke hurriedly fetches the lube, grabbing a condom from the drawer as well. He lubes up his fingers and smacks Calum’s hand out of the way, quickly replacing it with his own. Calum makes the most pornographic sound Luke has ever heard in real life as Luke works him open. Calum is panting and impatiently asking for “more, more,” while Luke slides in successive fingers, twisting and quirking them.

“Ok,” Calum gasps quietly, when Luke is three fingers in. Luke doesn’t respond immediately, keeps going with his fingers, still unbelieving that this is actually happening. “Luke,” Calum calls sternly and then Luke gets it. He pulls his fingers out and tears open the silver packet, rolling the condom on and lubing himself up before lining up and pushing in slowly. From the moment the head of his dick brushes Calum’s hole up until he bottoms out, Luke’s head feels like it’s exploding. He barely registers the sounds Calum makes and has to pause once he bottoms out to catch his breath. But then Calum clenches forcefully and Luke loses any composure he’s had so far. He fucks into Calum hard and fast, thrusting desperately into him. He can hear how pathetic the noises falling from his mouth are, but he can’t bring himself to care. He grabs Calum’s leg and hooks it on his hip and the new angle seems to get to Calum, causing him to cry out, Luke swallowing the sound with a kiss. Calum’s nails are digging into Luke’s back again, the pain keeping Luke from checking out with pleasure. He dips down to the other side of Calum’s neck that he hasn’t marked up yet and gets to work, Calum whimpering and starting to tremble slightly underneath him. Luke wraps his hand around Calum’s dick again and with one, two, three quick tugs Calum is coming in between them. Head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut, eyebrows furrowed and mouth hanging open, his expression, combined with the way he clenches around Luke, is enough to have Luke following swiftly after.

Luke falls limply on top of Calum and they lie there in semi-silence, the only audible sounds being their heavy breaths and muffled music coming from downstairs. Eventually, Calum speaks.

“That was fun.”

“Yeah,” is all the response Luke can manage, still blissed out, as he rolls off of Calum.

“We should, uh, maybe do that again some time?”

Luke turns to look at Calum, unable to hide his surprise at Calum’s suggestion as his eyebrows shoot up. Still he nods eagerly.

“Yeah, yeah we should.”

Calum grins and looks like he’s about to say something when a phone buzzes loudly from somewhere in the room. Calum gets up and Luke watches his lithe body move as he walks around the bed, fetching his phone from his jeans lying at the foot of the bed. The screen of the phone lights up Calum’s face and Luke can see just how red, how debauched he looks. His mouth quirks at the corner and he says,

“I have to go find Mikey.”

Luke’s post orgasm bliss starts to drain out of him.

“Oh, Okay.” Luke croaks. He doesn’t understand how they’ve just had sex, Calum has just suggested they do it more, and he’s already about to run back to Michael. Watching Calum pull on his clothes, wincing slightly, Luke forces down the bitter feeling of disappointment that is trying to rise in him. Of course this meant nothing to Calum – just an easy hookup. Which doesn’t reflect anything bad about him, it’s Luke that needs to get over his weird crush on someone he barely knows.

When Calum is fully dressed, he comes round to the side of the bed where Luke is sat and leans down to press his lips to Luke’s. It’s not a long kiss but there’s something about the way Calum holds Luke in place and deliberately tugs at his lip ring that has Luke feeling a little woozy when they finally separate. Calum smiles at Luke as he backs up to the door.

“See you down there, yeah?” he asks, leaning on the handle. Luke hums in reply, not trusting his voice. Calum nods once and then he’s slipping out of the room, leaving Luke on his own.

Luke gets up and cleans himself off then hunts around the room for his discarded clothes. As he dresses, he wonders if Calum was serious or if it was the alcohol talking. Either way he decides he’s reading too much into this and leaves the room, heads down the stairs and lingers for a while before he walks out the door. 

* * * 

The next time Luke interacts with Calum is at school on Tuesday. He’s convinced himself that the party was a one-time thing, Calum bored and drunk. And, while it’s a little bit disappointing that it won’t be happening again, that night was more than Luke ever thought he would experience where Calum is concerned, so he’ll hold on to it (and if ‘hold on to’ happens to equate jerking off to the memory, well, nobody has to know about it).

In the pause before his next class, Luke walks into one of the bathrooms around the school, only to stop short at the sight of Calum washing his hands at the sink. He’s alone in bathroom and looks up at Luke. The corner of his mouth twitches.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” Luke replies, mouth suddenly dry. There’s a brief pause when Calum goes to dry his hands and Luke just stands there awkwardly.

“So, uh,” Luke begins, “how was the rest of the party?”

His question is drowned out by the sound of the hand dryer and Calum turns to him.

“Huh?”

“Oh, I just asked how the rest of the party was.”

“Oh, yeah, it was good, thanks.”

“Cool. Thanks for inviting me, I had a good time.”

Calum grins and is about to say something when the bathroom door opens. They both jump and Luke turns to the mirror and pretends to fix his beanie while Calum washes his hands again. The person walks past them and to the urinals. As they start to pee, Luke glances across and meets Calum’s gaze in the mirror, and they exchange awkward smiles. They’re both obviously embarrassed, but it’s as if they find some sort of unity in their mutual embarrassment. It’s almost a nice feeling.

The person eventually leaves without acknowledging either of them (or washing his hands, Luke notices) and Luke lets out a huff of nervous laughter, Calum echoing him.

“Happy birthday, by the way,” Luke says. “I don’t know if I actually said that on Saturday so…yeah.”

“Thanks,” Calum smiles. Luke watches as the other boy wipes his hands dry on his jeans. He knows what he wants to ask – even though he’s fairly sure of the answer, he still wants to hear it – but he doesn’t know how to bring it up without seeming like a sex-crazed loser.

“So about Saturday,” he blurts, which is not how he planned on approaching this at all. Calum looks up at him and his smile shifts towards something that makes Luke’s stomach flip.

“Yeah?”

Luke doesn’t even know how he expected to continue with that. This situation is embarrassing and there’s a chance Calum doesn’t even remember what he said but it’s been eating at Luke and he just needs to know for sure.

“So, like…when you said…um…” Luke trails off. He really doesn’t know how he expected to continue with that.

Calum doesn’t reply, but he’s biting back a grin, which definitely isn’t the worst response Luke could’ve gotten. He comes closer and next thing, he’s leaning up and kissing Luke. This isn’t at all what Luke was expecting and he’s surprised to say the least, but he kisses back immediately, hands automatically going to pull Calum closer. Calum’s tongue slides into Luke’s mouth and the blond boy whimpers softly. They’re sober. They’re definitely both sober and this is definitely happening and Luke can’t believe it.

Unfortunately the kiss doesn’t go on for very long (at least not as long as Luke would like i.e. forever) because the bathroom door opens again and they spring apart, both going to wash their hands, Calum for the third time since Luke walked in.

“Oh, hey Cal!” the guy that walks in greets.

“’Sup,” Calum nods before coughing into his hand, whether to cover his slightly kiss swollen lips or to hide the weirdness of his voice, or maybe both. The guy walks past them and goes to the urinals.

“Yo, Cal, awesome party,” he calls backwards.

“Aw, thanks man,” Calum replies with a smirk aimed at Luke, fixing his dark brown gaze on him. Luke’s stomach twists and he quickly shuts the tap off, biting down on his lip ring as he flicks the water off his hands. Calum’s shoulders shake softly with silent laughter and he turns off his tap as well. He wipes his hands on his jeans slowly, drawing Luke’s gaze down and Luke nervously plays with his lip ring.

“See you,” Calum finally says, bringing Luke’s attention back up. He’s speaking to the other guy, apparent by the way the guy replies “yeah man”, but he keeps his eyes on Luke, fixes him with a look that seems to suggest that he plans to be seeing him as well. Luke doesn’t know what to do with that. He moves to the hand dryer as Calum walks out, rests his head against the top of the machine and lets out a puff of air. The other guy comes to wash his hands and gives him a funny look, as if he’s only just noticed him or is wondering what’s wrong with him. Luke isn’t too sure himself.

When Luke finally walks out of the bathroom and checks his watch, he’s already over fifteen minutes late for his next class. It doesn’t matter much though, because there’s no way he’s going to sit through AP calculus in his current state of mind. He makes his way to the music room and wonders what the hell is going on in his life.

* * *

Luke doesn’t see Calum on Wednesday, but on Thursday they’re in the same chemistry class (there’s a reason Luke never misses that class). In this class, Luke always sits on the back row, at the end closest to the door for a quick escape as soon as the bell goes off. He’s a seat away from Calum, separated by one of five girls, a group of friends who rotate each lesson as to who gets to sit there and try to flirt with Calum. Luke tries and fails to not listen in on their attempts.

On Calum’s other side is Michael and, while the two are always messing around, they’re particularly giggly this lesson. The teacher has already exasperatedly asked them to calm down four times, to no avail. Luke gives in to the urge to glance over at them several times, always met by Michael’s slightly intimidating piercing gaze and quickly tearing his eyes away.

“Luke?”

Luke looks up at the teacher, who is watching him hopefully. His eyes slide past her to the board behind and he takes in the chemical structure he assumes she wants him to name.

“3,5-dimethylphenol,” he answers. She beams and goes to write it down.

“Can I go to the bathroom?” Calum calls out and Luke almost jumps. Looking over, Calum’s hand is up and he’s fighting a smile.

“Sure,” the teacher sighs. “Maybe it’ll give you time to calm down.”

Calum gets out of his seat and Luke very pointedly does not look at him, does not react when Calum brushes against him as he slides behind Luke’s chair. What Luke does do, however, is notice the crumpled ball of paper that falls from Calum’s hand once he’s past Luke, and lands softly next to the desk. Luke waits for everyone’s attention to go back to the teacher before he leans down and picks up the ball of paper, opening it up and reading it under the desk:

Meet in the gym bathroom after 5th

Luke stares incredulously at the piece of paper in his hands and reads the words over and over again. If Calum is arranging a meetup that must mean that this is an actual thing, or at least is going to be. Luke is going to have a thing with Calum and not in one of his weird daydreams. He folds the note and pushes it into his pocket, his brain still trying to wrap around the message.

When Calum returns, Luke can't stop himself from whipping his neck to look at the older boy. Their eyes meet and Calum smirks at him and quirks an eyebrow suggestively. Luke pulls his lip ring between his teeth and his stomach knots, a warmth starting to pool at the feel of Calum’s fingers trailing lightly across his back when he squeezes past, returning to his seat.

By the time the bell sounds Luke is all packed up and bolts out of the classroom before he can do anything embarrassing. He’s got a free period now so he goes to the music room, shuts the door, grabs his guitar and sits down, letting out a long breath. Shaking his head disbelievingly, he puts in his earphones and presses play on his phone, playing along to the song that starts, trying to clear his head.

Fifth period feels like it lasts forever and Luke spends the entire time trying to understand what he could possibly have to offer that would make Calum want to actually keep him around. By the time the bell rings, he’s come to the conclusion that Calum must be looking for a casual sex thing and Luke, uncared for as he is by the general student body, is the perfect candidate as nobody would ever guess. Not that Luke can get upset at being used like that. His dreams of being anything important to Calum are just that – dreams.

When the bell finally sounds, signaling the end of the period, Luke puts away his guitar but loiters in the music room; he’s afraid he’ll get to the bathroom early and seem overly eager. He waits until after the second bell before he leaves and heads to the gym. It’s empty when he arrives and, when he opens the bathroom door, there Calum is, on his phone, leaned against the sinks. He glances up when Luke enters, his mouth slipping into his signature smirk.

“Hi,” Luke manages, nervously slipping his hands into his pockets.

“Hey,” Calum puts his phone away before pushing off against the sinks and moving towards Luke.

“So we,” Luke begins. He’s decided this will be easier if he brings it up himself, save Calum the trouble of it. “This- we’re keeping this secret, right?”

Calum stops and gives Luke an odd look, eyebrows pulling into a small frown.

“What?” he asks. Luke shrugs and steps on one foot with the other.

“Well, I mean, won’t people, like…if they find out they’ll blow it into something way bigger than it is, won’t they?”

“Oh yeah, of course,” Calum replies. His eyebrows briefly pull closer together, but then they straighten and the frown clears from his face. In hindsight, Luke feels a little stupid for saying something so obvious – that’s how these things work; it’s not something that needs to be explicitly stated.

There’s an awkward silence during which Luke is sure Calum is judging his clear lack of experience. The two boys stand a number of inches apart, neither making a move. Luke clears his throat.

“So, uh…”

His words snap Calum out of whatever thoughts he was having and Luke makes a decision, closes the gap between them and kisses Calum. After all, that is what they’re there for. Calum kisses back and brings his hands to Luke’s waist, pulling him and walking backwards into the stall furthest from the door, locking it behind them. 

* * *

The next couple of months are a blur of sex and Calum for Luke. They remember to exchange numbers that time and hook up regularly in secret after that, through which they learn a lot about each other. It's organized meetups in various bathrooms around the school. It's when Luke goes for Calum’s neck and the dark-haired boy sighs prettily. It's making eye contact in the hallway and one of them slipping unnoticed into the janitor’s closet, the other discretely following soon after. It's Luke crowding into Calum in the tight space and Calum clinging to him. It's accidentally swapping shirts in their haste to get redressed. It's Luke keeping his hoodie zipped up all day but admiring the way his t-shirt looks on Calum, too big, with the designedly short sleeves almost falling to his elbows. It's Luke sneaking up on Calum after his soccer practice when he's the only one left, putting equipment away. It's the way Calum jumps but relaxes once he sees that it's just Luke. It's how eager for it Calum is after practice, sweaty and muddy and already pumping with endorphins. It's hooking up in the changing room. It's getting into the gym shower after because they're now both sweaty and muddy and hooking up again. It's the sound of the shower over Calum’s moans when Luke lifts him up and presses him against the tiles, hands gripping his ass as Calum wraps his legs tightly around Luke’s waist and digs his nails into Luke’s shoulders. It's blowjobs under the bleachers and biting bruises onto Calum’s hips and thighs before sucking him off, the sound of him panting Luke’s name like music to the blond boy's ears. It's when Luke is in the music room, messing around on his guitar and Calum sneaks in, locking the door behind him. It's Calum demanding that Luke play him something. It's Calum biting back a smile when Luke begins to play and sing Teenage Dream (the one song on the radio that is Luke's guilty pleasure), rolling his eyes when Luke wiggles his eyebrows playfully at the line about “let you put your hands on me in my skintight jeans”. It's Luke holding Calum’s hips firmly against the vertical piano, kissing him quiet because there are people nearby. It's someone jiggling the door handle and Calum coming almost immediately.

It's when spring break comes and Calum goes on a trip with Michael, and Luke is bored at home for a week. It's when Calum comes back and they meet up twice as often. It's hooking up at Calum’s house after school. It's lying in bed and listening to Calum talk fondly about his sister, Mali, who he's supposed to meet at the airport later. It's the one time they hook up at Luke’s house and just as they get downstairs for Luke to drive Calum home, Luke’s mother, Liz, walks in. It's introducing Calum to Liz as "his friend from school", at which she seems embarrassingly surprised. It's Calum charming Liz into loving him in his typical way. It's Liz asking hopefully, "Is your friend staying for dinner?"

(She's difficult to deny and Calum is too sweet to say no so Luke ends up experiencing the most awkward dinner of his life with Calum and his parents.

"It's good to see that Luke’s doing alright for friends," Liz says at the dinner table. "Ever since his older brothers moved out I think he's been rather lonely." As if that isn't embarrassing enough, his father, Andy, adds,

"Not too lonely judging by that battle scar on his neck."

"Dad," Luke groans, tucking his chin to hide the hickey as his face heats up, at the same time that Liz admonishes, "Andy!" and Calum almost chokes from beside Luke.)

It's Luke driving Calum home and apologizing for his horribly awkward family as they pull into Calum’s driveway. It's Calum laughing and cutting Luke off with a kiss that turns into a full on make out until Luke accidentally pressed on the horn with his elbow. It's when Calum looks at Luke with something in his dark brown eyes, something that almost has Luke believing that maybe this could be more than just a convenient hook up arrangement. It's when Luke wants to say something, wants to ask Calum if he could possibly be in this for more, but he can never seem to find the words.

* * *

42 minutes.

That’s how long it has been since Luke last saw Calum, just before first period – kissed him, held him, felt his body react. The impromptu make out when they bumped into each other at the start of the day was cut short by the bell ringing, signaling the beginning of classes. Not that they responded immediately, Luke choosing to pull Calum closer to him. The older boy merely laughed, insisting Luke go to his first lesson because he himself had to go meet Michael in the library for a research project. If Luke had his way, first period would’ve been a bust. As it is, he’s sat in a history class, still a little hard, and a lot craving Calum.

46 minutes.

It’s probably a little bit concerning how much of Luke’s mind space is taken up by Calum. From thoughts of where next they can meet, to memories of the previous time, to wondering, every time his phone buzzes in his pocket if it’s a text from Calum. It’s something of a desperate obsession, although Luke won't admit it, keeps telling himself he’s not the desperate type. It’s especially worrying because Luke knows he isn’t entitled to wanting Calum this much, can’t afford the luxury of coveting because of what they are (or rather, what they aren’t). But Calum is one of those things that once you get a little bit of, you can’t help but want more. Calum is a drug. 

51 minutes.

Luke decides that it’s been long enough. He’s not going to sit through an hour of English class like this. He gets out his phone and quickly types out a text to Calum, hits send before he can change his mind.

Skip with me?

The reply comes within the minute.

And go where?

Dunno. Your place?

Meet in the parking lot in 20

Luke bites back a grin and pockets his phone, twirling his pinkie ring anxiously. He only has to wait twenty minutes until the itch in his bones from lack of Calum will be satiated. He looks up to maybe pay attention to the lesson but the bell goes off and Luke is out of his seat in a heartbeat, anticipation propelling him out of the class. He goes to the bathroom and waits out perhaps the longest twenty minutes of his life, past the second bell and until he can be sure that most people will be in class. Then he leaves, heads to the parking lot, rests his arms on the top of his car and watches the exit.

Calum emerges not long after and, just at the sight of him, Luke can feel a smile begin to draw his mouth. The dark-haired boy glances around before making his way towards Luke, lips curving once they make eye contact. Luke gets into the car and Calum joins soon, sliding into the passenger’s seat.

“Hey stranger,” Calum smirks. Luke grins. His restlessness has already begun to subside now that he’s within a meter of Calum. It’s as if every cell in his body was pulsating and has now stopped, instead simply drawn to Calum.

“Long time no see,” Luke jokes. Calum laughs at that, eyes crinkling and tongue poking between his perfect teeth, and Luke’s chest tightens. Everything about Calum is beautiful and magnetizing and Luke’s body is already leaning across the console by the time his brain catches up and he slips a hand around Calum’s neck and pulls him into a deep kiss.

And Luke’s body finally settles. This is what it needed. Calum is what he needed. With Calum’s familiar, soft, slightly chapped lips against his own, Luke realizes he missed the boy, and not just physically. Something about Calum just calms him, despite the fact that he also makes him dizzy with excitement.

Calum’s laughter dies and Luke freezes. He’s gone too far. He’s let on too much about his feelings for the other boy. He’s usually more careful, better at masking his feelings behind the roughness and heat of their interactions but this time he forgot. He got carried away in his happiness to see Calum. He messed up. At least, he thinks he messed up, until he feels Calum smile into the kiss. A wave of relief washes through Luke and he mirrors the smile. When they pull away they’re both still smiling. Calum bites his lip and turns his face to the window. Luke starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot.

Once they get onto the road, Luke switches on the CD player and presses play and Take This To Your Grave comes through the speakers.

“You literally never listen to anything else,” Calum teases. Luke pouts.

“That’s because this is the greatest album of all time,” he argues. Calum opens his mouth as if to disagree so Luke lowers the windows, turns up the volume and sings along to Calm Before The Storm.

“What you do on your own time’s just fine. My imagination’s much worse, I just never want to know,” he yells along. When he glances over at Calum, the dark-haired boy is shaking his head, fighting an exasperated smile off his lips. Luke grins and Calum rolls his eyes, turning back to the window.

He looks beautiful, Luke thinks. He always does, but especially so now, with the wind blowing through his hair and messing it up, humidity starting to bring back a few of the straightened curls, and a soft smile on his pretty pink lips. He looks happy, peaceful. It makes Luke’s heart flip inside his chest.

They don’t get to Calum’s house until around 2 hours later, after stopping at a music store (in which they simply messed around, neither of them buying anything), and a quick meal at Taco Bell. When they do arrive they go straight up to Calum’s room.

Luke has been in Calum’s room before, multiple times since they started whatever it is they’re doing. So he doesn’t know what it is that makes him actually notice it this time, pause for a minute to look around and really take it in. As Calum goes to drop his things, Luke moves to the dresser and peruses the items on top of it. There are a few trophies, some bigger and some smaller, some newer and some older. There are also a lot of pictures of Calum with friends and family (Michael appears in a lot of them, but Luke won’t dwell on that, he won't). One picture in particular catches his eye. It’s of a slightly younger Calum, his hair fully black before the blond tips he now has, sunglasses on his face. There’s a girl with him resting her chin on his head and her arms over his shoulders. She’s also got sunglasses on, but their visible features are almost identical.

“Is this Mali?” Luke asks, pointing at the photo.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, that’s, uh, that’s her.”

When Luke turns to face Calum, the dark-haired boy is biting back a fond smile that Luke assumes is from thinking about his sister or recalling the day the picture was taken.

“Damn, I missed out on the better looking sibling,” Luke jokes.

“Ouch,” Calum sighs, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout. Luke giggles and goes to him to kiss the pout off his face and Calum responds immediately, kissing back softly. 

They stay there, holding onto each other in the middle of Calum’s room, lips locked until Calum pulls away. Luke chases his mouth and it’s his turn to pout when Calum turns his face away with a small chuckle.

“Bathroom,” he explains. “I’ll be back in a bit.” Luke sighs but drops his arms and Calum laughs before leaving the room. Left on his own, Luke sits on the bed to wait. A small smile creeps onto his face as he realizes they have time today; they’ve got all day. There’s no need to rush.

When Calum returns he comes and stands between Luke’s legs and looks down at him with a smirk on his face. Luke smiles up at him and hooks his fingers in his belt loops, pulls him down gently until Calum gets it and climbs into his lap, cupping his face and bringing their lips together. Luke lifts his hands to Calum’s back and holds him close as their mouths move unhurriedly against each other’s. 

When they’re both out of breath they pull apart but stay close, breathing heavily into the small space between them. Their eyes are locked and Luke’s heart thumps heavily at how intensely Calum is watching him, that thing brimming just beneath the surface. Eventually he gets off of Luke’s lap and strips off, drops his clothes aside carelessly before he comes back and pulls Luke's shirt off. From there he climbs up the bed, lies back, and waits. Luke gets off the rest of his clothes and follows, and their mouths come together again. 

Luke could do this forever. Kissing Calum never gets any less satisfying, intoxicating. Touching Calum’s body never gets boring, especially now that they aren’t in a hurry. Luke takes his time trailing his hands over every inch of Calum’s hot skin. He knows Calum’s body, of course he does, so he isn’t just learning it, he’s committing it to memory; every curve, every dip, every place that elicits a reaction from the boy beneath him. Calum is touching him too. Luke’s skin tingles pleasantly everywhere Calum’s calloused fingers travel over. It’s almost overwhelming, the feeling of contentment that comes from having Calum near. 

It’s Calum that takes things further. Luke practically loses himself in Calum’s mouth and isn’t expecting it when a hand curls around his half hard dick. He almost forgot that’s what they’re doing. It’s not a disagreeable reminder, though, when Calum pumps his semi to a full and murmurs against his mouth to “get the stuff”. Luke obeys, and as he presses the first lubed up finger into Calum, his lips return to their previous task. He kisses Calum’s neck as he works in more fingers, and then down to his collarbones, his stomach, his hips, as tiny gasps and moans that Luke loves escape the older boy. 

They’ve done this enough times that Luke knows when Calum is ready. He pulls his fingers out and gets the condom on, lines himself up, and glances up. Calum nods and Luke pushes in. Calum wraps his legs around Luke’s waist, hooks his ankles around each other and rest them on the small of his back, effectively forcing Luke closer. Luke doesn’t need to be forced closer. Calum’s lips are red and puffy and Luke quickly submits to their pull. He gets so caught up in kissing Calum that he can’t even build a steady pace, hips rolling sporadically. He doesn’t realize he’s come to a complete stop until Calum whines his name, tightens his legs around him and uses that as leverage to fuck himself down determinedly. The action draws Luke’s attention back and he lifts himself up to avoid the distraction of Calum’s mouth and fucks into him until he finishes into the condom. He pulls out and begins to jerk Calum off, immediately pressing the appreciative sound Calum makes back into his mouth with his own. Luke doesn’t know when it happens, but at some point he must entwine his free hand with Calum’s because Calum squeezes his hand as he comes and Luke kisses him through it, swallowing the pretty whimpers that tumble from Calum’s mouth.

Luke lies still and watches with a mixture of admiration and disbelief as Calum catches his breath. He can't figure out how this became his life. To have actual Calum lying in bed with him, after just having had sex, with their fingers still loosely connected with each other’s. Calum’s lips are parted and his chest is rising and falling as his breath comes in quick puffs. Eventually his breathing returns to a normal rate and he rolls onto his side to face Luke with a smile that makes Luke’s insides flutter. For no apparent reason, they burst into a fit of giggles that only stops because Calum leans forward and catches Luke’s mouth with his own. It isn’t a heavy kiss and it certainly isn’t leading to another round, but it’s enough just being here with him. In fact, it’s more than enough. Calum kisses him lazily, almost sleepily, like they’ve got all the time in the world. 

The kiss ends when Luke decides to clean them up before come dries on them. He tells Calum this and gets up, trudges to the bathroom, tying off and tossing the used condom into the trash as he walks past it, and grabs a cloth, running warm water over it and squeezing out the excess. When he returns to the bedroom, Calum’s eyes are squeezed shut and his limbs elongated in a stretch. He hums appreciatively as Luke cleans him up with the warm cloth and Luke smiles.

“Falling asleep?” Luke teases.

“Uh huh,” Calum yawns.

Luke’s heart clenches as he watches the dark-haired boy roll onto his side and tuck in his limbs. It’s a different side of Calum than the one he shows at school, a softer, more vulnerable side. Luke almost feels honored to be privy to it.

“It’s the middle of the day,” he laughs softly as Calum nestles against his pillow.

“Nap,” Calum murmurs, probably already half-asleep. “You too.”

Luke’s gut somersaults. He’s not sure how to interpret that. Yes, he’s saying Luke should nap as well, but does he mean together? And just side by side or together together? It occurs to Luke that in the two months or so that they’ve been doing this thing, they’ve never actually slept together. He doesn’t know what boundaries he’s allowed to push.

Eventually he lies down on his back, next to Calum. It isn’t long before Calum’s breathing evens out and Luke can’t resist the urge to shift a little closer, not touching, but close enough that he can feel the warmth radiating off Calum’s skin. He rolls onto his side and checks on Calum, smiling warmly at the sleeping pout on his lips. He doesn’t know when but he falls asleep like that, the image of Calum the last thing he sees before he drifts off.

When he wakes up to the sound of rain, his chest is pressed against Calum’s back, his wider frame bracketing Calum’s shoulders, and their legs slotted together. Luke’s arm is draped over Calum’s waist, the older boy’s arm resting over his, and their fingers are interlaced.

They’re spooning.

Luke panics internally. This is definitely crossing a line. They barely even hug, much less cuddle in bed and spoon. Luke is debating how to move away without jostling Calum, when he really thinks about the boy in his arms. Soft and pliant in his sleep, Calum fits perfectly against Luke. His ever-warm body molds to Luke’s like a puzzle piece. Luke doesn’t know when (or even if) he’ll ever get to hold Calum like this again so he decides to enjoy it for a little longer, leans in and presses a kiss to the top of Calum’s spine.

Calum sucks in a shallow breath. Luke freezes.

“You awake?” Calum asks quietly. His voice is deep and groggy.

“Yeah,” Luke whispers. Calum doesn’t say anything more but turns so that he’s lying on his back. He doesn’t disentangle their fingers, brings their hands to rest on his stomach, and turns his face to look at Luke. They lie there, just watching each other for a long second, until Luke speaks.

“Hi.”

Calum’s face breaks into a smile and he leans forward and presses his lips gently to Luke’s. They exchange soft, open-mouthed kisses, enveloped by the pitter-patter of the rain against the window. Calum pulls away with a sigh.

“I should probably head to practice soon.”

It takes a lot of effort to keep the pout off Luke’s face. He doesn’t want to leave. He wants to lie in Calum’s bed all day and put the world aside.

“Do you have to,” he whines before he catches himself. “I mean, from what I’ve seen, you’re already pretty good with balls,” he jokes. Calum’s eyes widen and Luke can’t help but giggle at his expression. Calum shakes his head lightly but huffs out a reluctant laugh.

“God, you’re awful,” he groans.

“C’mon, you laughed. That one was funny.”

“No, it really wasn’t, Luke.”

Luke does pout this time and rolls onto his back to face the ceiling.

“You don't appreciate me,” he grumbles.

“Yeah I do.” Calum leans over Luke and presses a light peck on his mouth. “You’re cute.”

Luke beams at that. Calum’s mouth pulls into a gentle smile.

It’s so easy being with Calum like this. It’s mind-blowing because Luke has always been awkward and just never knows how to act, how to be with people. And yet nothing comes as easy as Calum; gorgeous, funny, talented Calum who is miles out of Luke’s league and probably making a huge mistake wasting his time on someone like Luke. But if he wants to make that mistake, Luke isn’t going to stop him. Luke wants him too much to stop him.

Something shifts in the air between them and it feels like the atmosphere gets a little heavier. Calum is still watching Luke with a smile on his face, but when Luke looks into his eyes he wants to be believe that what he sees in the rich brown of them is hopefulness. And this is the perfect time for Luke to tell him. Tell him that he wants more than just hooking up. Tell him that he wants to be able to hold him in public. Tell him that he wants to kiss him in front of everyone and for everyone to know about them. Luke makes up his mind. He draws a breath.

“I-” the words die on his tongue. 

He can’t do it. 

He fakes a cough and breaks eye contact, extracting his suddenly clammy hand from Calum’s. His heart sinks with yet another failure. The mattress shifts and when Luke finally turns back, Calum is off the bed, grabbing his clothes where he left them at the foot of the bed and putting them on. Luke’s stomach flips uncomfortably and he sits upright.

“Where’re you going?” he asks, hoping the hint of panic isn’t actually as audible in his voice as it sounded to him.

“Practice,” Calum replies. It provides a small relief for Luke.

“Oh, right. Want me here when you get back?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

Well. That stings. Luke doesn’t know how to react to that. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say or do. So he sits there, fiddles awkwardly with his hands, and watches Calum sit on the edge of the bed and put on his shoes. Then the older boy gets up and leaves without another word, pulling the door shut.

When he’s sure that Calum is out of earshot, Luke groans and falls back against the bed, running his hands over his face. He can’t decide what he’s feeling more: hurt by the way Calum brushed him off, or irritated with himself for not seizing the perfect opportunity. The odds of him ever being handed as clear a chance are less than slim, especially now that Calum has seemingly lost any interest he may have had – if that is even the right conclusion to draw from his words. Luke can't be sure if he’s reading too much into this, if Calum even cares, has ever cared, or if Luke is making up the reaction himself, amplifying it in his mind because he wants to believe that Calum does care. Either way, he finds himself nagged by worry, the annoying feeling plaguing his tired brain and he’s fed up of it, gets up and fetches his phone and earphones, and listens to music as he returns to bed, the worrying thoughts at the back of his mind. He falls back into a restless sleep that is no more peaceful than being awake.

When his eyes open again, Luke lies on his back and stares up at the ceiling, dreaming up various scenarios in which he could fix this. None of them seem plausible, let alone likely. Luke sighs and gets out of bed, goes to use the bathroom, and when he returns he looks around Calum’s room again in an attempt to distract himself and hopefully make time pass quicker. He scans the dresser again before crossing the room to the desk, eyes wandering over the various books and papers strewn across it. There’s a piece of paper on the floor, Luke notices, so he bends down and picks it up. It’s folded twice and Luke wonders if it’s private, if he should just leave it as he found it. But his curiosity gets the better of him and he unfolds it, quickly reading the messily scrawled message.

Thanks for last night, just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Love you babycakes ;),

Mikey

Luke has had enough. He isn’t going to hang around, tearing himself up over someone who clearly isn’t as invested in this as he is, even if that someone is Calum, the boy he thinks about day and night. He feels stupid now, for even thinking that maybe he had a chance. There’s nothing he can offer that Calum couldn’t find in someone else. Luke is nothing more than another conquest for Calum, a notch in his bedpost.

Luke’s eyes sting with frustration, but he bites down hard on his lip and builds the resolve to leave. He dresses quickly and goes to pick up his shoes when the bedroom door opens. Luke’s stomach flips.

Calum stops in the doorway, eyebrows raised and plump pink lips forming a small ‘o’. He’s still in his soccer uniform, splattered with mud, his bag slung over a shoulder. His hair is wild and fully curly, damp either from rain or sweat or a combination of both. His skin is glistening and flushed and Luke wants to cup his cheeks to see if they’re as warm as they look. Calum looks tense. There’s a fire burning in his eyes behind the obvious surprise and it stirs something low in Luke’s gut. He hates that the mere sight of Calum is enough to break down the resolve he had managed to build, but honestly, he isn’t surprised.

“You’re still here?” Calum asks, voice laced with incredulity. Luke cringes. He should have known that “yeah, sure, whatever” was more along the lines of “get out” than “I don't mind if you stay”. He opens his mouth to explain that he was just about to leave when Calum lets out a laugh. It’s not his usual soft, warm laugh, though. This one is sharp and quick with a condescending tone. Luke feels like he’s a freshman again being picked on by the older students.

“I’m just gonna-” he starts, focusing his gaze at Calum’s feet. But he’s cut off when Calum drops his bag suddenly and lunges at Luke, bringing their mouths together. It knocks the air out of Luke’s lungs.

It’s nothing like their kisses from earlier. Where those were sweet and gentle, this one is rough, with Calum forcing his tongue into Luke’s mouth and their teeth clashing somewhat painfully. Not that Luke has it in him to refuse it anyway.

Calum pulls Luke’s shirt off without any preamble.

“Get on the bed,” he growls against Luke’s lips. Luke complies immediately. Calum peels off his uniform and climbs up over Luke, pinning him down with his body and resuming their kiss just as roughly as before. Luke is almost dizzy from how simultaneously worried and turned on he is. Calum has never gotten this aggressive before and it’s slightly unnerving for Luke, wondering what is going on in Calum’s head. But there’s also something about his roughness that makes Luke’s dick twitch.

Just when Luke’s chest is about to burst, Calum pulls back and the blond boy chokes out a gasp as his lungs fill up with air and his vision goes fuzzy. When his eyes finally clear, his gaze settles on Calum. The older boy is knelt back on his haunches between Luke’s legs, one hand gripping his thigh and the other jerking his dick. When their eyes meet, Calum moans softly and his eyes flutter shut as he continues to work himself to full hardness. Luke whines desperately at the sight of him, lips parted obscenely, thighs tensing with each tug, head tilted back slightly, leaving his neck exposed and his fresh hickeys visible. He’s unbearably hot and Luke is sure he’s going to pass out if he doesn’t get some friction immediately. He fumbles with his jeans until he manages to unbutton them, doesn’t waste time getting his jeans off and instead just pushes the band of his boxers down and pulls his dick out, sighing heavily with relief. 

It’s short-lived, however.

Calum opens his eyes and zeroes in on Luke’s fingers curled around himself.

“Don’t,” he snarls, smacking Luke’s hand away. Luke whimpers mournfully at the loss of contact, the sound lost into Calum’s mouth as the other boy climbs back up over him and attacks his mouth again. His lips feel bruised from how much teeth are being used but Luke kisses back until Calum detaches their mouths and sucks in a sharp breath before lowering his head again and bringing his lips next to Luke’s ear.

“I’m going to fuck you.”

Luke moans loudly as Calum bites into the sensitive skin below his ear. Calum takes the opportunity to slip three of his fingers into Luke’s mouth and Luke has to grip his wrist to stop him from accidentally shoving them too deep into his throat. It’s a small, smug satisfaction when he clamps his teeth and Calum hisses, trying to retract his fingers. Luke holds tighter onto his wrist, keeping him in place as he soothes them by sucking on them. He feels hot all over from the intensity of Calum’s stare, can’t bring himself to make eye contact for fear of physically combusting.

The next time Calum tries to remove his fingers, Luke lets him go, parts his lips and releases Calum’s wrist.

“Pants off,” Calum instructs. Luke hurriedly tugs and kicks his jeans down his legs as quickly as possible. Even though he’s been naked with Calum many times before, it’s different and he nervously presses his knees together until Calum pushes them apart. He feels ridiculously exposed as Calum’s eyes lower to his hole and a part of him wants to scramble under the sheets and hide forever. But Calum presses the first saliva-coated fingertip against him and applies enough pressure to push past the ring of muscle and then Luke is falling apart. He’s gasping and writhing, hips jumping jerkily until Calum holds him down, fingers pressing so firmly into Luke’s hipbones that he thinks he can already feel the bruises forming. Luke has barely gotten used to it when he feels the second finger press against his rim. He squirms but Calum’s grip on his hip is too tight and Luke’s eyes sting as Calum pushes the second finger in. They start to water, both from the burn and how overwhelmingly aroused he is. He squeezes them shut and bites down on his lip, tensing.

“You okay?” Calum’s fingers stop moving inside of Luke. When he opens his eyes, Luke sees the dark-haired boy watching him, expression looking something like a mix of reluctance and concern. “Want me to stop?” he asks. Luke’s chest tightens. Calum’s voice is at the softest it has been since he returned from practice. It’s close to comforting and Luke feels his body relax, Calum’s fingers a little less sore where they enter him, a little more enjoyable, and he gasps,

“No, I don’t,” pushing down against Calum’s fingers. Calum nods once and purses his lips, his expression becoming unreadable as he picks up with his fingers again, quickly getting a third finger in. Luke grips the sheets, short, harsh breaths climbing out of his throat as Calum works him open.

 Soon, Luke feels Calum’s fingers withdraw and watches him move to fetch a condom, quickly getting it on and applying a coating of lube before he comes back and lines himself up, briskly pushing in. Luke lets out a long, drawn out moan as Calum begins to fuck into him, giving Luke little time to adjust before he’s snapping his hips rapidly, fingers digging harder into the younger boy’s. Luke is thrashing, fingers grasping more tightly at the sheets. He can hear the obscene sounds that are being punched out of him and he brings one arm over his face.

“No, look at me,” Calum grunts and pulls Luke’s arm away, pinning it to the bed. Luke whines stubbornly and throws his head to the side. He can feel Calum’s hot gaze boring into him and at this point he doesn’t know if he can handle it.

“Luke. Look at me.”

Calum’s tone is more commanding this time, and slowly, Luke turns to face him. Blue eyes meet brown ones and with Calum still thrusting forcefully into him, it’s probably the most intense thing Luke has ever felt. It’s completely overwhelming and Luke is sure he’s about to explode when Calum’s eyes fall closed and his face contorts and then his hips are stuttering as he comes, a low moan ripped from his throat.

He drops on top of Luke, pausing to catch his breath before pulling out and rolling off of the blond boy. They fall into a heavy silence as Calum turns his back to Luke. Not wanting to aggravate a situation he doesn’t understand, Luke stays in his position and waits for Calum to do something, anything. But then Calum’s breathing slows, evens out, and his body starts to rise and fall steadily.

“Cal…?” Luke calls quietly. Calum makes an indistinguishable sound. Luke swallows and tries again. “Are you okay?”

Calum huffs but rolls back over and grabs Luke’s dick. Luke winces as he jerks him roughly, messily. He bites on his lip ring and shuts his eyes until he feels the familiar tug in his lower gut and the he’s coming onto Calum’s fist.

“Thanks,” he mumbles when his breathing calms, in an attempt to dispel the tense silence that is threatening to descend over them. It’s a futile effort though, and Calum huffs again, softer this time.

“I should, uh…get going.” Luke says finally.

“Yeah,” Calum agrees. Luke’s head whips towards him and he can’t keep the hurt confusion off his face. “Parents’ll be home soon.”

“Oh,” Luke nods understandingly and scoots off the bed. They’re both uncomfortably quiet as Luke gathers his clothes and pulls them on. He turns back to face Calum, who is now sat up and watching him, looking smaller than Luke has ever seen him with his shoulders hunched in and his brown eyes dull with exhaustion.

“Um…see you tomorrow, I guess?”

“Yeah, see you.” Calum sends him a small, weak smile that doesn’t come close to reaching his eyes. Luke returns it though, and waves awkwardly before walking out of the room, wondering where it went so wrong.

* * *

Things change after that. The weeks that follow consist of the strangest, most inexplicable interactions that have occurred between the two boys since this became a thing they do. They still hook up regularly, so technically, there isn’t anything wrong. It just feels off.

The thing is that they weren't just having sex – it hadn’t been that for a while. There was always the playful banter between them, time they spent basking in each other’s company. That’s what Luke had gotten used to, so it feels…odd, to say the least, now that their meetings are more direct, to the point.

Calum is distant. Luke isn’t sure why, he just knows that he is. The dark-haired boy was always the one to instigate conversation, his easy openness inspiring Luke with the confidence to joke around as well. That openness is gone. Instead, Calum always seems guarded and Luke can't get through to him, doesn’t know how. 

It doesn’t help that prom is fast approaching. Calum is an incredibly popular, ridiculously attractive guy, so naturally, he has several people vying to go with him. It’s a painful reminder to Luke of the many ranks between them when he watches as Calum gets chatted up by suitor after suitor, laughing easily with them. He desperately wants to march up to them and grab Calum by the waist, let them all know that he’s unavailable. But he knows that isn’t an option, so he stays away and wallows in the ugly feeling of jealousy that simmers in his gut.

It occurs to him a number of times that Calum’s recent reserved behavior might be an effort at ending this thing. Maybe there’s someone he wants and he’s trying to discourage Luke, let him down easy. It would make sense, Luke thinks. He often considers making it easier for Calum, calling this off so he doesn’t have to. But Luke knows he can't. Now that he knows what it’s like to have Calum, he could never deliberately go back to his life before him.

It’s a hollow sort of feeling when they meet, the lack of small talk leaving a gaping silence around them. Luke tries several times to fill it up, cracking the sort of lame jokes that would usually have Calum rolling his eyes or shaking his head, a reluctant smile on his lips. They work sometimes, and for a short minute or so it feels like they’re back to familiar territory. But then Calum will catch himself and whatever moment they were sharing will be broken. Other times, it seems Luke completely says the wrong thing. It’s usually when he hasn’t quite managed to swallow down his jealousy and ends up saying something stupid that possibly annoys Calum and leaves them even tenser that before.

* * *

Luke blinks up at the flickering light bulb that scarcely illuminates the janitor’s closet he’s waiting in. 

Calum is late.

Granted it’s only by a few minutes, but Luke can’t help that even that sets him on edge now. His mind paints pictures of where Calum could be right now; who is currently holding his attention, making him laugh, leaning in and lowering their voice…

A sliver of brighter light appears and Calum squeezes in, leaning back on the door to shut it. Luke offers a smile and opens his mouth to say hi but Calum speaks first.

“We don't have much time because I’m meeting up with Mikey in a bit,” he announces, nimble fingers already at the button of Luke’s jeans.

“Ah, young love.”

Luke bites his lip as soon as it’s out. He didn’t think that through. He meant it as a joke, really, but even he can hear the sneering tone as he says it. His spite is becoming harder and harder to suppress.

Calum’s fingers pause on the fly of Luke’s jeans. He lifts his head and locks his gaze with Luke’s, the hint of surprise providing a touch of color to the dead look in his eyes.

“Michael’s my best friend,” he deadpans, voice flat. He’s obviously not amused by the joke; it’s one of those times that Luke has gotten it wrong. Luke knows he should apologize immediately, intends to, arranges the awkward words in his head, but his jealousy gets the better of him and instead what comes out is,

“Best friend who gets his hands down your pants.”

Calum’s face evolves through a series of expressions in the next few seconds. Firstly confusion, then realization, and finally anger before he schools his features into a blank expression, dropping his hands to his sides, and taking a step back. His voice is cold when he speaks.

“What do you think this is? Me and you?” The words are a punch to Luke’s gut. He can feel the way his face drops pathetically and Calum’s poker face wavers momentarily but holds. “What I do is none of your business, got it?” He can’t hold the mask any longer and he sighs, runs a hand through his hair. His shoulders droop, defeated almost, and when he speaks again his tone is closer to weary. “You were the one who said you wanted this to be a secret, casual thing anyway.”

“I thought you wanted a secret, casual thing,” Luke flounders.

“Yeah, well you thought wrong because I don’t want anything at all.”

Luke frowns. His brain can’t quite grasp what Calum is trying to say.

“Wait, what does that mean?” he asks dumbly. Calum huffs.

“You’re a dick, Hemmings. And I’m through with your shit.” And with that he turns and slips out of the closet, leaving Luke stunned and still trying to process the events of the past few minutes, feeling like he’s just been slapped in the face.

Luke remains stock-still, frozen, until the bell rings, shrill and sharp, piercing his confused daze. He fumbles absentmindedly with his jeans, doing them up before he steps out of the closet as well. He’s too much in shock at what has just happened to even think about what his next class is, much less whether he plans on going to it, and his legs seem to be on autopilot as they carry him to the exit of the building and straight to his car.

Calum ignores him the rest of the day. Luke sends a couple of texts and when Calum doesn’t respond he wants to tell himself that it’s just because he’s at practice. But by the time night falls, Luke knows that’s not the case because Calum is always glued to his phone. He drops it and busies himself with anything he can find to do, hoping he gets a chance to talk to Calum tomorrow. 

He doesn’t.

When Luke texts Calum in the morning as he usually does to confirm their meet-up he doesn’t get a reply. It stings that much more when he arrives at school and sees Calum on his phone. Nevertheless, he goes to their regular spot and waits, hopes. He goes the next day, the day after, and after still. None of these times does Calum show up. And, while it is upsetting, Luke can't help but feel partially relieved because he doesn’t know what he would say to Calum anyway.

Luke tries several times to make eye contact with Calum in the hallways, but the dark-haired boy insists on blanking him, laughing with his friends but looking past Luke as though he were invisible. Eventually, it starts to feel like it. Calum and Michael become inseparable again and things go back to the way they were before the party; Luke pining from afar and Calum unrecognizing of Luke’s existence. The past few months may as well have been in Luke’s head. In fact, the only thing reminding him that they really happened is the fading hickey at the base of Calum’s neck that he knows he left. It peeks out at him from the neck of Calum’s shirts, almost mockingly.

Within the week, Luke gives up. He can’t think of anything more he can do to bring Calum back. And with prom a mere week away and the number of people hitting on Calum, the sheer number of times his name comes up in conversations around Luke – in class, where he can’t get up and leave and is therefore forced to listen to the strategies fabricated by the posses near him to win Calum over – becomes unbearable. His best option is to stay away; there’s nothing for him at school, with classes essentially just a formality now. Being there is nothing but a bitter reminder of the chance he failed to take, and it’s easier avoiding the place and not seeing Calum at all.

* * *

Luke has no business being at prom. He has no date, no friends, nothing about the past four years that he particularly wants to celebrate. The whole thing has never really appealed to him anyway; it’s just a glorified school dance where everyone dresses up ridiculously and fawns over each other pathetically, progressively getting drunker, sweatier, and hornier until they can head to the after parties and have ‘post-prom sex’, which is supposed to be more meaningful than the sex they have every other day. It’s cliché and lame.

But his mom developed a habit of dropping not-so-subtle hints about it, little offhand comments here and there about his brothers’ proms, calling Luke over to look at the pictures with her. And Luke knows it would mean a lot to her to see him go, especially as the youngest son. So, when she finally asks whom he’s going with, he shrugs and mumbles something vague about friends (he barely hides his grimace when she asks if ‘friends’ includes Calum). And since he’s already said he’s going, there’s no way he can back out without disappointing her (he won’t admit it to even himself, but he isn’t just going for her; this is the longest he’s gone without physically seeing Calum since spring break. He can't help that he wants to see how the other boy is holding up, if he’s there with someone, if he’s moved on).

So, that’s how he ends up at prom, alone, sitting at an empty table with a cup of punch in his hand. He doesn’t mean to (well, yes he does), but he’s spent the whole night so far watching Calum. The dark-haired boy looks breath-taking in his fitted tux and it’s no wonder that half of the attendees are fluttering around where he and Michael are dancing ridiculously. It’s probably a little masochistic of him, but Luke can't seem to look away whenever Michael’s pale hands rest on Calum’s waist or hip or wherever really. There’s something painfully hypnotizing about the familiarity between them, the ease with which they interact.

As though he can hear Luke’s thoughts, Michael’s piercing green eyes land on Luke and twinkle mischievously. He leans in closer to Calum and says something to him, eyes never leaving Luke. Whatever he says makes Calum laugh and Luke feels a stab of jealousy in his stomach. Clearly unsatisfied with the resentfulness Luke knows Michael can see on his face, he presses a wet kiss to Calum’s cheek, distressingly close to his mouth. It twists the knife of jealousy in Luke’s stomach and he clenches his jaw, grips his cup harder. So far, prom sucks just as bad as he thought it would.

As if Luke’s life isn’t pitiful enough as it is, the prom gods must hear his blasphemy and decide to punish him with a slow song. All the couples on the dancefloor come together as the singles move off to the sidelines. Calum looks like he’s about to leave, but Michael stops him, instead pulling him close and nuzzling his face into Calum’s neck. He’s watching Luke with an awful, knowing smirk, and Luke is certain that he despises that boy. Michael whispers into Calum’s ear making him smile, soft and fond. It’s a smile Luke recognizes; it’s a smile Calum has smiled at him before. So to see it directed at somebody else is a surprisingly wounding blow and Luke has finally had too much, gets up from his seat, and goes to get himself some more punch that hopefully somebody has spiked by now.

By the time he returns to his lonely table, the song has changed and Calum is not where Luke last saw him. Instead, he’s off on the side, talking to Ashton (whom Luke isn’t entirely sure why he’s here). Michael is nowhere to be seen, but Luke couldn’t care less, his only concern being that someone is making Calum laugh and that someone isn’t him.

“Are you just gonna mentally murder everyone he talks to tonight?”

Luke startles. He was too transfixed on Calum to notice anybody approach him. But then he sees that person that spoke was Michael, who has invited himself into the seat next to Luke and scowls.

“Fuck off,” he mutters, making sure his distaste for the boy comes through in both his tone and his expression as he takes another sip of his drink. Michael rolls his eyes.

“God, you really are a dick.”

“I’ve been told,” Luke laughs bitterly. There’s a second of silence before Michael speaks again.

“So,” he asks, “whose murder are we planning next? Since you’ve probably already got mine down.”

Luke doesn’t grace him with a reply, doesn’t want to engage with him at all as an effort to make his hatred for him clear. But Michael clearly isn’t easily discouraged, and instead of just leaving Luke alone, he follows Luke’s line of sight to where Calum is.

“Ashton?” he snorts incredulously. “Seriously?” Luke shrugs disdainfully.

“Cal seems to be enjoying his company.” He can hear his voice dripping with envy. Michael bursts into laughter.

“Man, you’ve got it bad!” Which Luke already knows and he silently, sarcastically thanks Michael for stating the obvious. “Dude, I wouldn’t if I were you. First of all, have you seen those arms? He could take you out in one blow!”

Luke thinks that’s somewhat arguable because Ashton may be buff, but Luke has his height advantage and he’s also pretty fast. He’s still weighing up his odds when Michael continues. “Secondly, he’s m- uh, he’s like 120% straight. Yeah, he made his way through the softball team in, like, his sophomore year."

And, well, that’s a relief to Luke; at least one person in this room who isn’t trying to get into Calum’s fitted tux pants (that make his ass look almost as perky as it does uncovered but Luke isn’t staring or anything). But Michael isn’t done.

“And thirdly, Cal wouldn’t do it because he’s still so hung up on you.”

“WHAT?” Luke practically squawks. Michael gives him an odd look.

“God, Luke, you really have no idea how much he likes you, do you?”

“I- he-” Luke stutters. “I mean he said he didn’t want anything-”

“Yeah, because you’re an ass and an idiot. Have been since middle school. But, for some unknown reason, he still likes you.” Luke doesn’t understand what Michael is trying to say. He’s giving him conflicting messages and Luke isn’t enough of a people person to decipher them. His interest in this conversation comes down to one thing: does Calum want him or not?

“Oh my god, can you just fucking do something?”

“Something like what? I don't- I don't know what you want from me.”

Michael sighs.

“Listen, Luke. Calum likes you. As in really fucking likes you. And since you guys stopped whatever it is you had going on, he’s been really down. Now, I may personally think you’re an ass and really don't see what he sees in you, but he’s my best friend and I hate seeing him like that. So you’re gonna go up to him, you’re gonna fix this, and then you guys can go back to making out in closets or whatever and Cal can be happy again. Got it?”

No, Luke hasn’t got it. His slow brain is having a hard time getting past “Calum likes you”. He stays frozen in his seat until Michael impatiently snaps, “for fuck’s sake” and grabs Luke by the wrist and drags him over to where Calum and Ashton are standing. Luke vaguely registers Michael pulling Ashton away after whispering something to Calum, mumbling something he doesn’t catch because he’s focused on Calum, who frankly looks like a deer caught in headlights, brown eyes wide. Luke clears his throat.

“Hi.”

Calum’s features fall into his hard, blank expression and he folds his arms across his chest.

“Hey,” he replies, short and brisk. They stand in an awkward bubble of silence until Calum huffs, “I have to go.”

“Wait!” Luke cries out. He doesn’t know what to say but it’s been so long since he was in Calum’s presence and he isn’t ready to give it up yet. He swallows. “I’m sorry…for…uh…being a dick?”

“Michael put you up to this, didn’t he?”

“No!” Luke shakes his head vehemently. “Well, yeah, but not, like…not because I didn’t want to, I just didn’t know if you wanted me to talk to you or just to, like, leave you alone or whatever.”

Calum rolls his eyes.

“Look. I’m a big boy. I don’t want your sympathy. I don’t need you to let me down easy, I can handle-”

“That’s not what this is!” Luke interrupts.

“Then what is this?” the exasperation in Calum’s voice is clear as his composed exterior cracks.

Luke is no good with words. He talks too much when he shouldn’t and locks up when he should. He never knows how to get the right words to come out.

But what he does know is how to kiss Calum. So that’s exactly what he does. 

Grabbing him by the waist, Luke pulls Calum close and presses their mouths together, uttering a silent prayer for the best. His heart leaps when he feels Calum respond, mouth moving with Luke’s, but then the dark-haired boy pulls away with a strained “Luke-”

“No, just…just listen,” Luke cuts him off. Inspired with a vote of confidence from Calum’s reaction to the kiss, Luke takes a deep breath and continues. “I really, really like you, Calum. I’ve liked you for so long and never for a second did I think that we- that you could possibly like me back. You’re amazing and talented and funny and hot – so fucking hot – and just…just amazing in general and I’m just- just me, I guess. And like, the first time you even spoke to me I was pretty sure I was dreaming because in my head there was no way in the universe that you would willingly be having a conversation with me. And then the past few months happened and it was, like, probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me? And I was kinda pretty convinced that I was way more into it than you – still kinda am to be honest – and I didn’t really know how to, sort of, deal with that? So I guess I was just sort of a dick to cover that up, which doesn’t really make sense but none of this makes much sense to me anyway so,” he sighs, “the point is I really like you and I’m sorry for…yeah.”

It’s a weight off Luke’s chest to have all that out in the open, but suddenly he’s extremely nervous, twirls his ring around his finger. He feels so emotionally naked and Calum looks unsure. It occurs to him that if Calum rejects him, Luke will just have made a fool of himself and, worse, he’ll have lost Calum forever. He anxiously sucks his lip ring into his mouth and bites on it.

Luke doesn’t miss the moment Calum’s eyes slide down and catch on his lips.

“You’re an idiot,” Calum tells Luke bluntly. And then he’s surging forward and captures Luke’s lips with his own. Luke kisses back immediately, relief pouring through him. “Such an idiot,” Calum mumbles against his mouth.

“I know,” Luke replies.

“Shut up.” Calum slips his hands to the back of Luke’s neck and head and kisses him harder, rougher. “So fucking stupid,” he hisses, biting down on Luke’s bottom lip as if to emphasize his point. There’s a whistle from somewhere off and it occurs to both of them how public this is. Their mouths separate but Luke keeps his hands around Calum’s waist, re-familiarizing himself with the satisfying feeling of having the dark-haired boy in his arms.

“Um,” he starts softly, “do you wanna go somewhere?”

Calum nods.

“Yeah, closet?” Which Luke doesn’t particularly mind but he’s got a better idea.

“How about my car?”

Calum nods again and pulls away properly. Neither of them moves immediately. Luke takes a moment to really look at Calum to drink him all in and let himself want him in ways he never thought he was allowed to before. It makes him giddy and he’s fairly sure it turns his expression goofy, if the way Calum shakes his head with that reluctantly fond smile is anything to go by.

“God, you’re so lame.” He shoves Luke playfully. “Just lead the way already.”

Luke grins and takes Calum’s hand in his own, chest swelling with happiness as they head out together, openly.

When they get to his car, Luke holds the door open and can’t even be ashamed when he ogles Calum’s ass in his fitted pants (absence does make the heart grow fonder, after all) as he clambers in. Luke quickly follows, shutting the door behind him before turning to face Calum. Their faces are so close that Luke is almost going cross-eyed in an attempt to look Calum in the eye.

“Hi.”

Calum bursts into laughter and shakes his head. And boy, has Luke missed the sound of that laugh. He doesn’t realize he said that aloud until Calum presses his lips together and his blush deepens.

“God, shut up,” he mutters, fighting a smile. And Luke would be embarrassed at his inability to control his mouth, but he can’t bring himself to be, not when he’s made Calum look like that.

“Missed your smile,” he breathes, “Especially that one you get when you think I’m being ridiculous.” Calum rolls his eyes and purses his lips but the corners of his mouth quirk up. “That one.” And Luke leans in and kisses it, Calum’s hand immediately coming to hold him in place. “Missed your mouth,” Luke murmurs against Calum’s lips when they pause for air. “Missed your cheeks,” he presses a kiss to the soft skin. “Missed your jaw,” he runs his mouth along the sharp bone, fingers making swift work of the buttons on Calum’s shirt. “Missed your neck,” he bites down harshly. Calum sucks in a sharp breath and grips Luke’s back and the blond boy smiles against his skin. “And that – missed the way your fingers dig into me.” He sucks on the tender skin, coloring Calum anew as the older boy moans softly.

“This is you and me,” Luke whispers, kissing the mark soothingly then moving to the other side, “and me and you,” he kisses there too and grazes his teeth over Calum’s skin as he lowers his mouth, “until we’ve got nothing left.” He places his lips in the dip between Calum’s collarbones before marking up the skin around his tattoos more prominently than ever. 

Luke pulls back to admire the scattering of deep purple marks he’s created. They look good on Calum, who, for his part, reaches out and pulls Luke close, bringing their mouths together almost desperately. Luke doesn’t resist, goes with it easily when Calum’s hands slide under his leather jacket and pushes it off his shoulders before doing the same with his own. Luke can practically taste Calum’s frustration as he fumbles with buttons on Luke’s shirt and he puts him out of his misery, breaks the kiss to take over with the shirt so that Calum can mirror his actions. Aided by the head start Luke already gave him earlier, Calum slips his shirt off fast and goes for Luke’s pants.

“Get them off,” he mutters impatiently and, really, who is Luke to disobey orders. There’s a good two minutes of awkward shimmying as the two oversized boys try to kick off their pants in the limited space of the backseat of Luke’s small car, giggling at the ridiculousness of it. 

When they’re finally both in just their boxers, Luke tries to maneuver his large frame onto the floor but he doesn’t fit, so, he pushes Calum gently against the door and climbs back onto the seat, positioning himself between Calum’s legs. It’s a little uncomfortable in the tight space and his legs are squished, but by the time Calum’s boxers come off, Luke is too pre-occupied to care as he takes the older boy into his mouth. Calum’s fingers tangle in Luke’s hair and Luke doesn’t hold down Calum’s hips this time, hollows his cheeks, and takes pride in the way the older boy is twitching up irregularly, short gasps and low moans tumbling from his mouth. 

Calum gets off surprisingly quickly (a fact that causes Luke’s pride to swell) and, when Luke finally pulls off, rests his head against the glass of the window, eyes closed and breaths heavy. The younger boy is content to just watch him for now, the rise and fall of his chest with each breath, flushed deliciously red. But then Calum opens his eyes and raises an eyebrow, spreads his legs a little wider, smirk playing at his lips.

Luke doesn’t need more of an invitation. He places his fingers against Calum’s lips and the dark-haired boy sucks them into his mouth. When they’re slick enough with saliva, Luke withdraws them and replaces them with his mouth on Calum’s, trailing his hand down. Calum exhales hotly at the first finger in. By the second finger Luke works in, the kiss is more or less a one-way job, with Calum basically just panting against Luke’s mouth.

Luke is three fingers in when realization hits him.

“Um…I don’t have anything,” he admits, disappointment already trickling into his veins.

“Check the pockets in my pants,” Calum instructs breathlessly. Luke extracts his fingers and reaches down, feels around until he finds them and retrieves a condom from one of the pockets. He can’t stop his brain when it starts to wonder as to whether Calum was planning on getting some action for him to have it so handy. His thoughts must show on his face because Calum quickly says,

“Mikey gave it to me.”

“Did Michael think you’d be getting busy tonight?” Luke hates how obviously his voice betrays him, words curling slightly around the bile-like taste of envy at the back of his throat. Calum rolls his eyes.

“When he brought you over he told me to check my pocket.”

Which – oh. Luke thinks that maybe he doesn’t completely hate Michael anymore. In fact, he’s actually a pretty alright guy, Luke decides. He feels sheepish for immediately jumping to the worst conclusion, but Calum doesn’t seem too upset, taking Luke’s hand in his and squeezing it. He’s got that smile on, the one Luke has come to recognize. It’s soft, exasperated, fond and a hint of something else. It’s his smile.

Using Luke’s hand as leverage, Calum lifts himself up and throws a leg over Luke’s lap so that he’s straddling him. He’s clearly tired of delaying and he quickly pulls Luke’s boxers down to his knees before grabbing the silvery packet from him and doing the honors. He places one hand on Luke’s shoulder and the other on his dick to guide as he lowers himself onto Luke. He moves torturously slowly and Luke lets out a long groan, head falling back against the seat.

Calum’s motion is a little jerky and uneven, and when Luke places his hands on him, his muscles feel tense under his skin. Luke lifts his head to look for any sign of uneasiness in him. Calum’s face is twisted slightly, eyebrows furrowed faintly; understandable seeing as it’s rather dry without lube, and it’s been a couple of weeks since they’ve done this.

“You okay?” he asks Calum, never wanting to hurt him. Calum doesn’t reply. Luke shifts his hips lower on the seat in an attempt to make this more comfortable for Calum. It certainly does something, because Calum’s eyebrows shoot upward and his mouth drops open.

“Ah- fuck, I love you,” he moans.

Luke was not expecting that. He whimpers softly, fingers tightening reflexively on Calum’s hip. Because, sure, you can't trust what a guy says during sex, but the words definitely resonated in Luke’s chest and he knows that, yeah, he’s in love with Calum. Calum, whose hips are fucking down faster in his lap now with one hand on the ceiling for leverage.

“I’m close,” he whispers.

“Me too.”

Luke curls a hand around Calum’s neglected cock, bouncing between their bodies, and tugs on it in time with Calum’s hips. Calum moans appreciatively, clenching around Luke as one of his hands finds Luke’s free one, the other gripping his shoulder tightly. Luke catches his mouth in a kiss that Calum eagerly falls into.

“M’gonna-”

“Yeah, go.”

They come together, mouths going slack as they work each other through it. Luke doesn’t want to get cheesy and dramatic and say it was the best orgasm of his life, but it was the best orgasm of his life. His stomach is flipping triumphantly and his chest might burst with happiness and Calum’s “fuck, I love you” is playing on repeat in his head. He stores it away giddily to be discussed at a later date. 

The car is silent, save for their panting, and the air is heavy with the heady smell of sex and sweat. Luke opens his eyes. Calum’s forehead is pressed against his own, delicate lashes resting on his soft, flushed cheeks, pouty red lips still parted. He’s so pretty up close, Luke thinks. But that’s definitely his voice he hears speaking those words and he should really work on teaching his brain to distinguish between which thoughts he means to voice and which ones are meant to stay as thoughts. Calum opens his eyes and glares at Luke, but he can’t hold it for very long, his ‘Luke’ smile creeping onto his face. Luke beams and they dissolve into giggles. Luke is still inside Calum though and, still post-orgasm-sensitive, he winces. Calum apologizes and climbs off Luke, falling into the seat next to him and they sit in a comfortable silence, fingers still entwined. Luke can’t keep the smile off his face.

“Should we go back in?” Calum eventually asks. Luke isn’t bothered, doesn’t care where he is as long as he’s with Calum. So he agrees and they spend at least ten minutes struggling to get back into their clothes, stealing kisses every so often.

Luke is first out of the car and he reaches in and helps Calum out before pressing him against the body of the car and kissing him sweetly. Calum laughs softly into the kiss but is quick to respond. When Luke finally pulls away, they leave their hands clasped loosely as they make their way back towards the building.

As they approach Luke notices a couple outside by the entrance. It’s dark, but one of them has a distinct build and the other an even more distinct voice that Luke is almost certain belongs to-

“Mikey! Ash!” Calum calls. The couple spring apart. A glance at their lips and/or undone flies makes it obvious as to what they were doing.

“I thought he was 120% straight,” Luke blurts. Calum laughs and Ashton frowns confusedly at Michael, who shrugs.

“Had to get you to do something.”

Calum snorts softly and shakes his head and Luke gently squeezes his hand.

“Anyway,” Michael continues, “I see you’ve finally upgraded from closets.”

“Fuck off, Mikey,” Calum retorts as they walk past and Michael laughs. As soon as they’re in the building they hear a “why would you tell him your boyfriend is straight” followed by a “just shut up and make out with me some more” and they both chuckle.

When they return to the hall, Luke can feel the eyes watching them. It’s a little nerve-wracking as they cross from the entrance to the snack table to get themselves some punch, but Luke can’t help feeling smug now that they know that Calum is off-limits. They settle at a table and look around, content in each other’s company, fingers still linked.

They sit through a number of songs before Teenage Dream starts to play. Luke turns to Calum and grins widely. The older boy rolls his eyes but he’s smiling and doesn’t resist when Luke stands and pulls him towards the dancefloor. The gazes on them are heavier now and Luke knows he’s receiving more than one glare but he doesn’t pay them any mind. He pulls Calum closer by his waist and presses a quick, soft kiss to his mouth and embraces him, and they sway gently to the music as people around them dance energetically.

With Calum in his arms, Luke thinks that love never wanted boys like him, but he’s taking it anyway.