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Beforus, the soft world that traumatized some and entitled others, or maybe both at the same time. Some are allowed to be more entitled, even praised.
Others are put down because they are just brats. Brat, must you remind yourself, is an adultist slur that downplays the suffering one goes through in soft punishments and educations and even privileges no one asked for for the sake of molding the perfect innocent child, wide eyed like a pet to the adult troll.
Unlike humans, female trolls are not allowed to be weak, but Beforus had their exceptions. They could be weak as long as they were disabled and orphans, and maybe not orphans but declared as such anyway. Yes, unlike humans whose children were taken away from their mothers for the sake of discipline by the male lusus, there were two social genders in Beforus.
It was not as simple as "the highblood and the lowblood" of an answer.
Maybe Beforus was done like a "soft" mother, and Alternia like the punishing father. And that's why Meenah praises it, she always admired strong people unlike her ancestor, and you would thank her for it if the memories of the hell you grew up the second time together with the demises of people you love didn't stuck to the back of your head. But even a soft pillow from a mother can smother and choke her beloved baby to death.
The thing is, cooler bloods can lose their status just by going through the right accident. Warmer bloods would rarely rise, but being the constant healthy side in a relationship already helps if no one else takes up the mantle.
As a mutant though, you will never be that side. As a pitiful off color, the bright red in the back of your eyes, the candy red sweater your mother figure insists that you wear, the reminder that you are less. Your liking of your belt doesn't even enter the equation because it leaves people uncomfortable, well, what about your lack of desire to flash your blood color on everybody when that's all they see and think of already?
The way you entitle yourself to believe you can speak without bowing yourself to the kindness of all around you, the way you speak without words that people don't trigger each other because if you allow yourself to say "Please don't trigger me", your weakness will show and all who desires ultimate power over someone will jump into the opportunity.
And because you refuse to be weak, tender, willing and pitiful despite their words and mockery, you are a brat.
Whenever Porrim touches you against your will, like your consent doesn't matter, you feel sick.
Despite the love from a child to a mother existing, the only way a mother can have privilege is through the power over her child indeed.
Aren't you grateful that they let you live? That you don't have to rise your hand and clean yourself up, however well you would have done by yourself?
Aren't you grateful you don't need to worry your pretty little pet head about concerns far too complex for your offcolor shade to handle? Well, aren't you?
You will never be able to be a man, and because you are a boy, you need someone to care for you. If not Porrim, then maybe Cronus? After all, entitled children group together, and he's violet although in a human phase. The worst with the worst, paired together.
You wonder what is there that he envied in not being part of the spectrum of bloodcolor. He who? Well, even you don't want to allude to someone else besides Cronus, but you do anyway.
Simple things like body autonomy are no matter to a pet, who should be happy enough someone picked it up. Might as well, pairing you with someone who doesn't respect it. When your so-called friends join into shipping shenanigans, that's often their speech, way to show off verbal privilege in the worst way possibly. At least the ones thought of as cull bait only say you seem to be doing fine enough on your own. But when you see Porrim in the middle of them...
A good fuck would take you down a peg.
If you were a violet, a fuchsia, an indigo, a cerulean, maybe being entitled would be forgiven, at least people would give away a pardon and not think much about it.
But it's because you are someone so inferior and parasitic, living through the kindness of others, concerning the trolls surrounding you just by existing in public without a culler. If only you would accept to be culled through a relationship, punished and gone through character development even after death.
Well, if only they forgot how to have relationships without culling you like most back in Alternia, you could think about it. Not that it matters anyway, you can't have the place you want, so you don't want anything of the quadrantic nature.
And you are not very confident in communicating well with her in a way that respects her limits, so that's not an option yet.
You aren't asking much, you like nice people. You don't like to strain through inflictions against your body autonomy. Surely both are hard in a troll society, and you can't proclaim to be the nicest troll around, but is that really so impossible that you have to, not meaning to be offensive or triggering in any way even while referencing problematic hierarchy, fucking settle for less?
You have another idea. How about you stay as your pedantic, entitled, tagging-aware single self? Not a tool to experience baby's first power trip, that said in a reference to grub's milestones and not in mysopedic meaning.
One day, they will either change for better and make your efforts have worth. Or you will get the chance of your life and acquire the courage to sign a break of your chastity vow and show them all they don't need to coo at the offspec boy for playing a big boy too proud to ask for help to wipe his tears or be scolded for taking up too much responsibility for someone so pathetic.
If that's a pipe dream, then so what. Part of being an actual big boy troll is dreaming about the impossible beyond. And you dream to able your descendant to dream even further.