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For once, Kotoko can't sleep.
It's pretty rare, to be honest. She's used to sleeping in a fold up chair, and she's been getting better sleep since she's been sleeping on an actual mattress in prison, but tonight, she feels restless. Even when she closes her eyes, she doesn't feel tired. Of course, it feels like a waste to lie in bed without sleeping, hence why she's in the kitchen for a late night cup of tea.
Kotoko taps her steel toed boot impatiently against the floor as she waits. Wherever the MILGRAM prison is, it has to be at a higher elevation than she's used to; normally, it doesn't take this long for water to boil. She finally sees the steam come out of the teapot, and she grabs the loose leaf tea from the cabinet - something Shidou had asked for a while back - and puts three tablespoons of the leaves in the pot. It's green tea; normally, she prefers black, but it's pretty late - nearly 2:30 am - and she wants to be able to get some sleep tonight -
The door opens. Kotoko doesn't have to look to see who it is; she can hear the wheels roll across the floor.
"...Mahiru. You're up late."
"Kotoko-chan.... You're up late too."
Kotoko shrugs. "I was in the mood for tea, and I couldn't sleep." Kotoko puts the lid on the pot and turns around to look at Mahiru. It looks like Shidou rewrapped her bandages earlier. "Did you want something?"
Mahiru smiles, her hair drooping into her face. "I...can't sleep either. Those voices denying me...they're louder than normal tonight. I was in the mood for some tea...and cookies as well. Can I have some with you?"
Kotoko frowns a little. "I thought you would want to avoid me, like Futa has been."
"I don't see any reason why I should."
Kotoko wants to point out that she had nearly killed Mahiru, and while she thought she was justified in doing so, given Es's judgment, she wouldn't have blamed Mahiru for staying as far away as possible, but instead, she shrugs. "Suit yourself, then. Do you want black, green, or herbal tea?"
Mahiru wheels herself a bit closer to Kotoko. "Whatever you're having is fine. I'll grab the cookies; would you mind pouring me a cup?"
"Sure." Kotoko grabs a second mug from the cabinet, and she pours the tea into both mugs. "...Do you want anything else in your tea? There's sugar and milk somewhere around here - "
"I'll add milk and sugar on my own," Mahiru says, leaning against the counter to stand up and grab a tin of cookies from the lowest cabinet shelf. Kotoko sees Mahiru's legs shake as she grabs it, then Mahiru falls back into her wheelchair. "Thank you for asking, though." Mahiru wheels over to the fridge and grabs the milk, and then she grabs the sugar and a plastic spoon (Es wouldn't let them have metal utensils after what happened between trials) from another counter.
Kotoko brings the two mugs over to the table in the kitchen, setting one in front of Mahiru, and Mahiru pours in her milk and adds a few tablespoons of sugar, way more than Kotoko would add to even the most bitter tea. They sit in silence, Kotoko waiting for her tea to cool, Mahiru taking sips of hers. Well, whatever. It's not like Kotoko has ever had much to say to Mahiru in the first place.
"You know..." Mahiru says, staring down into her cup, "...I told Es during the interrogation today that I don't hold a grudge against you, and that I'm sure it couldn't be helped, since you were just doing what you thought was right. They...seemed surprised by that."
"If you're trying to get me to apologize by being nice - "
"I'm not," Mahiru says. "I don't want you to apologize for following your ideals. Like I said to Es, it's more...more painful that my love wasn't accepted, that I wasn't forgiven...."
"...I see. You...really care about that sort of stuff, huh?" Kotoko says, looking over at Mahiru. Mahiru smiles just a little.
"Of course! Love...it's the most important thing in the world to me. Have...you ever been in love, Kotoko-chan?"
"No. If I need a lover, I'll get one, but currently, love is irrelevant to my goals, so it's not something I'm interested in."
"That's...sad to hear."
"It's not," Kotoko says. She sips her tea. "It's not some sort of tragedy to not be in love."
"I...I suppose for you, it's a bit different. You care about different things. But...I hope you find someone to love someday, Kotoko-chan."
"And what if that's not what I want?"
"Well...I suppose...there are some people who like staying single, but...you've just seemed lonely since this second trial started. You keep lashing out at everyone...."
"I'm not lonely," she growls. "I don't need your understanding, or anyone else's. I'm fine on my own."
"But...nobody can stand on their own forever. I...I was taking a psychology class, before I ended up here, and it's been proven, you know? Long term, isolation, not having friends, family, a lover...it can negatively affect a person. Sometimes...I wonder if that's what happened to Haruka and Muu before they came here."
"That's pretty obvious, at least with Haruka. You can tell he's not used to being around a lot of people. And Muu...I wouldn't be surprised if she went through some isolation simply because of her attitude."
"I'm glad they've become close with each other."
"They're toxic for each other. I heard Haruka threatened to kill himself if Muu wasn't forgiven this trial. I have no clue if he plans on acting on it, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. Muu doesn't seem concerned about it. Honestly, it's not good for either of them."
"..."
"Kazui hasn't talked to anyone since his birthday. Futa hasn't talked to anyone since his birthday, and the only people he seems to interact with are Es, Shidou, and Amane. Why aren't you more concerned about them?"
"Kazui-san...he's been avoiding me lately. I think he feels bad for not protecting me."
"He shouldn't be getting in my way in the first place."
"He was doing what he thought was right, just like you, though. He's always been one of the more quiet people here. Futa-kun...I think he's dealing with the verdict from the first trial and the voices denying him in his own way. I heard that Es might've forgiven him, so maybe he'll be back to normal soon."
"...Sure." It's late, and Kotoko doesn't feel like arguing with Mahiru.
Mahiru slides a cookie over to Kotoko. "Not interested." Kotoko takes another drink of her tea, and she grabs the teapot and pours more into her mug. She sets the teapot down, and Mahiru gently grabs it and adds more tea to her own mug, along with more milk and sugar.
They stop talking again. All Kotoko can hear is a faint ringing in her ears and the sound of Mahiru munching on another cookie.
...this is ridiculous. Why the hell is she still here with Mahiru? There's nothing to be gained by staying here.
Kotoko downs the rest of her tea and puts her mug in the dishwasher. "You can have the rest of the tea. I'm going to bed."
"A-Alright. Sleep well, Kotoko-chan. I'll see you tomorrow," Mahiru says, a hint of sadness in her voice. Kotoko doesn't respond, and she leaves.
...She'll never understand someone like Mahiru, with her unending optimism and hyperfocus on love, although Kotoko supposes it's not too dissimilar to her focus on justice and protecting the weak in terms of idealism.
A quiet doubt crosses her mind. Maybe it should have happened the other way. Maybe Mahiru should have been forgiven, and Kotoko shouldn't have. But...no. It's a useless hypothetical, and of course, Kotoko deserved to be forgiven for what she did.
As she goes back to her cell, though, she can't help but think, I hope Mahiru's forgiven this time around. It's unusually sentimental, especially for Kotoko. She doesn't really know if she has a reason for thinking it. But...she supposes that on occasion, she can be slightly irrational too.