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"Shhh, shhhhhhh, shhhhhhh… go to sleep Victoria, please sweetheart."
Jane held the little girl in the crook of her arm and jiggled her ineffectively, trying to stem the steady grizzling from the overtired infant.
"You're meant to be having a nap aren't you, you little grump monster?" she said, pressing her nose to the five-month-old's nose, breathing in the scent of Johnson's baby shampoo, Sudocrem and the strange sharp tang of clean disposable nappies.
Her eyes fluttered closed as she brushed a kiss on to the baby's forehead. She was so unbelievably tired; Tori's sleep regressions were currently kicking her whilst she was down.
"Mummy just needs a wee and then we'll see if you want a little feed, hmm?"
Up in the bathroom, in a feat of maternal dexterity, Tori held over one shoulder, she one-handedly yanked down the elastics of her trousers and knickers and then set herself on the toilet, clean jam jar poised.
She set the partly filled jar on the window sill and washed her hands awkwardly whilst still trying to pacify her gently grumbling daughter under one arm, before going downstairs, grabbing her thermos flask of coffee on the way from the landing table as she did.
Twenty-five minutes later she carefully stuck a finger in the corner of the girl's mouth to unhook her from the breast and laid her flat in the pram top Jane kept on the lounge floor for that purpose.
She tiptoed to the hallway, took the thin blue and white cardboard box from her handbag, unwrapped it from the cellophane and stared at the instructions for a few moments, then made her way up the stairs with a cold weight in her heart.
***
Julio could hear the thin wail before he even opened the front door. Bracing himself, he made his way into the living room to find Tori, clearly beside herself, wrapped up in Jane's arms crossways on the sofa, the little girl's sobs being echoed by his wife. Jane rarely cried, and he reflexively scanned his memory for the whereabouts of his black suit. However, he now noted the wriggling baby refusing the breast in bitter tears, and Jane's general dishevelment, and diagnosed a case of "Witching Hour Baby Syndrome".
"What's the matter little sweetheart? I think you need to go to sleep!" he said, putting an arm around both woman and child, before giving his wife a kiss on the forehead and scooping his daughter up and away. "Pushchair?"
"Pushchair." Jane nodded, wiping her eyes with the muslin on her shoulder, yanking her top straight and clipping her bra back together.
Five minutes later Julio backed into the house, bumping the buggy across the threshold with a now fast asleep Tori in it.
To his surprise, Jane still looked distressed. He kicked off his shoes and pulled her into his lap, curling her into a ball and pressing soothing kisses into her hair.
"Shall I get a takeaway?"
"We can't afford that."
"It's a treat."
"I'm a terrible mum," she wailed suddenly.
Julio tutted.
"Because she got overtired and screamy? You're a brilliant mum. This is hard. But she's getting bigger, it'll get easier, we just need to figure out how to get you more sleep and soon-"
"I'm pregnant."
There was a pause.
There was no point asking Jane if she was sure. If she was telling Julio, he knew she would have had no doubts. At a loss he carried on squeezing and stroking her hair as she sobbed into his chest. His brain kicked into gear.
"Hey," he lifted her chin and tucked her hair behind her ears, "Hey, that's wonderful!"
"I'm so sorry…" she whimpered into her hand, and he cuddled her closer.
Julio chuckled. "Sweetheart, how exactly is that your fault? Unless you've invented complete human parthenogenesis…"
"Oh shut up you twerp."
"Immaculate conception seems… unlikely."
This prompted an actual snort from the young Mrs Spring who laughed despite herself.
"Was it when we-"
"-got carried away-"
"-I assume so."
Damn.
Julio took a deep breath.
"It's wonderful."
Jane looked at him through tear-filled eyes.
"Really?"
"We wanted two children, and this way, we're out of nappies sooner."
"Yeah but work-"
Julio was reassuring. "We'll manage. Everything will be okay. I've got you. I've got you."
He held her against his body until her breathing regulated, as his wife calmed in his embrace.
She exhaled slowly, her head tucked over his shoulder, and then groaned.
"Oh god, what's my mother going to say?"
Julio sighed, with the sure and certain knowledge that whatever else happened, Mrs Driscoll would both disapprove and give Jane a hard time about it.
"Oh, well," he said, putting a hand on his wife's still soft postpartum stomach with a grin, "we just won't tell her, maybe she won't notice."
Jane elbowed him in the ribs. "Oh honestly-" she began but he caught her in a kiss, stopping her mouth. When he pulled back there was the ghost of a smile on her lips.
"We're having another baby, " she whispered, and for the first time there was something hopeful in her voice.
"At least your mum and dad will be pleased."
***
8 months later
Jane shifted uncomfortably in her hospital bed and adjusted the lilac blanket around her newborn's face.
Charlie, my son. I'll do anything to protect you.
She looked anxiously towards the ward door and then at the clock opposite. Her mother-in-law stood to take the baby, and placed a long deeply-tanned arm onto Jane's.
"She'll love him sweetheart," reassured the elder Mrs Spring, before settling back into the NHS regulation armchair with the little one held on one arm.
Moments later, Julio came through the door with his father, who was carrying Tori on his hip. The raven-haired tot wriggled from his grasp as she lunged onto the bed towards her mother, Jane suppressing a wince as she smiled widely and cuddled the little girl to her.
"Hello Victoria, Mummy missed you!"
After a moment or two of snuggling into Jane's chest, the one-year-old peeked out and saw the figures on the armchair.
"Baby," said Tori, in an inquisitive voice, her little eyes wide, looking to her Abuela.
"That's right, Tori!" There was a chorus of laughter and affectionate aww's.
Julio lifted the little boy from his mother's lap. "This is your baby brother, Charles. Would you like to give him a little cuddle?"
Tori smiled, and there was a bit of general shuffling about so the girl could sit safely on Abuela's lap. Julio gently lowered the infant bundle onto his daughter's outstretched arms, allowing her to take a little of his weight whilst maintaining full hold.
"Baby!" she repeated, clutching at the swaddled little boy long enough for Julio's father to take a picture. "Do you like him, Tori?" said Jane tentatively, and then their daughter gave the newborn's fragile head an unexpected and slightly rough kiss.
"Oop!" laughed Julio, as his mother seized Tori's shoulders to hold her so that Julio could gently prise the baby from her pudgy hands.
As the Springs chattered away, Jane felt her eyes start to droop. She leaned back against the pillows and fought to keep them open so she could take in this moment. She looked at her suddenly giant daughter, noting the fierce love she felt for the little girl, reassured that those feelings would surely bloom for the little stranger she'd just birthed, just as they had for Victoria. Jane had made peace with a slow burn falling in love with her first baby, and was ready for it this time.
She caught eyes with Julio, the man she had chosen to make her life with, who made her feel safe. He winked at her fondly and tilted his head towards their daughter, who was bouncing gently up and down with excitement.
Everything's going to be fine, she thought, and let herself doze off surrounded by her new, complete family.
***