Chapter Text
The male tribute from district 4….. Evan Buckley.
Sometimes he wonders how it happened, how he ended up here. Maybe it would be better if he didn’t know, if he was blissfully ignorant to everything around him. But he knows there’s no reason to hope, no reason to want to change reality. Because that’s what it is, a sad and bitter reality.
He knows how he ended up in this situation, and he remembers the terror he felt when it was his name being called out at the reaping of the 75th annual Hunger Games.
“Evan!” Maddie had cried when she rushed into the room right after the reaping, and for once the name made him flinch even when coming from his sister. He flinched because just half an hour ago that was his name being called out… sending him to his death. And all Buck could do is hug her tightly.
Maddie was so much shorter than him but for once he felt small, he felt like she was swallowing him up in her arms. “You’re gonna be okay Evan, you’re strong, you can do this-” She had murmured but it was a lie, they both knew it. Buck wasn’t coming back likely. Sure he was strong and built like a brick wall.
But the games… the games were stacked against his favour this year. He survived it all, he survived the age requirement shifting, allowing older contestants in the hunger games because the Capitol noticed too much uproar from reaping 12 year olds…. he survived all of that.
He survived because he wasn’t reaped despite entering at 12 years old, and then having the age extended to 23 just as he turned 16 years old… and he was back in the reaping for another 5 years.
And now… the 75th annual Hunger Games…. 7 years after he was aged out.
“Maddie-” Buck had tried but Maddie wasn’t having it, shaking her head.
“You can win this Buck, I know you can,” She insisted, and Buck still remembers how tight his chest felt at that moment, because the chances were small… he could fight.. yes but-
“Maddie, you heard the rules, past victors are included. These aren’t kids, they’re experienced killers-”
“And many won due to sheer luck, or they’re too old to be a threat,” Maddie snaps back a little harsher, and she shudders. “Don’t give up now Evan, I can’t… I can’t lose you-”
“Maddie, I’m not giving up,” Buck fires back, reaching out and tipping her chin up so she’s forced to look at him. Tears are stinging in her eyes, and Buck brushes them away. “I promise I’m not giving up, but I need to be honest with you, and tell you that I love you. If I don’t come back-”
Maddie interrupts him with a sob, bowing her head and letting out a gut wrenching sound that Buck never wanted to hear again. He stops, leading her over to the couch and sitting down. He glances at the clock, knowing they don’t have too long before Maddie is pulled away from him.
“Maddie, If I don’t come back I need you to know how much I love you. You were there for me when mom and dad weren’t, and you-”
“I left you Evan,” Maddie whispers, and Buck’s stomach convulses painfully. Because the wounds were still too fresh even after all these years. He remembers the terror of finding Maddie, bleeding and covered in blood, both her and Doug’s.
“You didn’t, and you came back-” Buck whispers back, reaching out for her cheeks and wiping away her tears. “Maddie, you were there when mom and dad weren’t… I love you so much and I’m gonna do everything I can to get back okay?” Maddie sobs again, nodding pitifully as more tears fall.
Buck can’t get himself to wipe them away, looking at the clock and seeing he only has a minute left.
“Maddie, I need you to promise something too,” Buck starts, looking back at his sister again. “Promise you won’t forget me, okay, and promise you won’t shut down… not again, please-” He reaches out, glancing at his sister and putting a hand on her stomach.
“For her, you have to be there for her. Chim needs you too, and so does your daughter-”
“She needs her uncle too-” Maddie whispers, putting her hand above Buck’s, touching her pregnant belly. Buck smiles sadly.
“She will, you’ll tell her about her uncle Buck, and how he already loved her so so much, and did everything to get back to-”
“Buck!” Buck startles out of the memory, blinking rapidly to focus on the figure standing in front of him. Taylor was looking at him with annoyance almost, huffing as he finally seems to acknowledge her presence.
“What?” He asks, voice tight and Taylor huffs again, putting her hands on her hips.
“It’s time-” She gestures to the carriage that was already waiting for him. Right… the parade. He nods numbly, ignoring the glances he was getting from other tributes, knowing it was only about to get so much worse when he would get on the carriage and the parade would start. His legs shake slightly but he pushes through.
He’s not wearing much, and it only makes him feel more exposed. Chest on full display for everyone to look at, and shorts barely enough to cover him.
The woman next to him turns, smiling sadly at him; a show of comfort, solidarity. He reaches out to take her hand, squeezing it and she squeezes back. She opens her mouth, mouthing okay? And he nods shakily. Gladys was deaf, couldn’t speak; so it was the only way he knew how to communicate with her.
There was a resignation in her eyes, a knowledge that she wasn’t going to survive; it had been almost 40 years since she won her own Hunger Games, she knew she wasn’t getting out of here alive.
*
*
*
“What are you doing here?” Buck asks, walking up to the man sitting in one of the corners, glancing up at him with wariness in his eyes. The man sighs, eyes flickering down to the outfit Buck was wearing, before landing on the ‘4’ on his uniform.
“Hiding-” Eddie replies shortly, turning back and focusing on the necklace in his hand again.
“You miss him?” Buck asks, sitting down next to him. Eddie frowns, not looking at him. “He’s eleven now, right?”
“It was his birthday a few months ago,” Eddie whispers, running his thumb over the material. Buck moves to sit down in front of him, glancing between them at the ropes laid out, the materials they were allowed to work with, practice on. Buck shudders, eyes roaming up to watch Eddie Diaz, the tribute from district 9.
Buck had of course watched the reapings with his mentors and Gloria, but it hadn’t been the first time that he had met Eddie Diaz, or even the first time he had heard of the name.
“Just ask what you want to ask, Buck-” Eddie mentions, not even looking up himself but somehow he knew what Buck was doing.
“I don’t want to ask anything,” Buck denies, and it’s not even a complete lie… Because he doesn’t know what to ask, but he wants to ask so much. He didn’t think he'd see Eddie again in his life, maybe if things were better but not now. He takes a deep breath, glancing back at the training area.
It was filled with familiar faces, and Buck was aware of most of them. Either they were past tributes from previous years, victors just like Eddie was. But a good portion wasn’t; celebrities, that was the criteria from the 75th Hunger Games. So he was all too aware of the faces around him.
But no one as memorable as Eddie. Of course lots of victors visited them throughout the years, but no one had stayed so close to Buck during the days they were there. Buck would never forget how Eddie talked about his son Christopher, now much older than he was back when Eddie won his games.
That had been almost 10 years ago now, Eddie was barely 22, one of the oldest tributes during his games but still so incredibly young. Shannon had just given birth, still exempt from the games because that was another trick the Capitol played. Get pregnant, get out of the Hunger Games… but doom your child in the future.
Buck has seen Eddie and Chris periodically over the years, but never like that first time, never again. Meeting Chris for the first time when he was 6 years old was up there, when the capitol finally allowed Chris to travel too.
“Might as well make ourselves useful here, if it comes down to it in the arena…” Buck trails off, but Eddie sighs, squeezing his eyes shut, letting out a harsh laugh.
“Kill Buck, we’re gonna have to kill in that arena,” He counters, and Buck’s gaze drops, picking up one of the ropes, the material laid in front of him so familiar because before…everything, that was his job, his means of supporting the family that didn’t love him… except for Maddie of course.
Making traps, catching fish, supporting his family so they didn’t starve to death.
“They already made me a killer Buck, they’re gonna make me do it all over again,” Eddie spits out, squeezing his arms. Buck shifts slightly on the spot, and he bites his lip at the thought. He knew he was going to have to kill in there, but the thought made him physically ill. Those were innocent people… like him.
People who didn’t deserve to die, none of them did and he knew some people had even volunteered this year, but none of them deserved to die. Gladys from his district was a kind old lady who helped everyone in the district, and he knew she would die… and she knew it too.
And Eddie knew it too, he knew that he would either die in that arena, or come out as a cold blooded killer. And this year, his son would be watching it live. His son would see him kill people on television, or be killed.
But likely Christopher would see both.
*
*
*
“And our next tribute, this man needs no introduction after all but he so deserves one, with an incredible score of an eight-” There’s a silence, rounds for applause. “Yes yes, it’s very impressive, and it’s my honour to welcome to the stage, Evan Buckley, from district 4!”
Buck feels himself being pushed forwards, maybe more of a nudge but the touch to his shoulder burns all the same. He swallows thickly, letting his legs carry him to the podium where he’s met with hundreds of people in the audience, cameras pointing at him from every angle and not leaving him alone.
He takes another breath, he’s used to this… he is familiar with the cameras, so he pushes it down.
“Welcome, welcome! Caesar Flickerman laughs, extending his hand and Buck reaches for it. Caesar glances at him, pretending his hands aren’t sweating profusely as he sits down. “What an applause, but are we surprised folks, just look at him!” Caesar laughs as the audience cheers again.
Buck ducks his head slightly at that, but puts on a smile, laughing along with the audience. He feels exposed, looked at…. and the audience feel like they’re eating him up as he sits there, pants too short, body too exposed. Taylor liked it… because of course she did, everything for the ratings.
“So Evan, your name is of course not unknown to our audience, and I believe you have some of your old admirers out there even!” Caesar announces, and Buck swallows, not wanting to look at the audience but of course there would be. All the parties he was meant to attend, all the important capitol visits.
It used to be much harder to travel for everyone, both the capitol and the districts alike. But not after President Gerrard rose to power and saw how much the capitol could give him if he allowed some type of travel. Only to the richer districts, the richer parts of the country. And in turn, they were invited back out.
So enough people in the audience that were all too familiar with him, intimately aware.
“It’s great!” Buck puts on a mask, smiling at the audience. “It’s great seeing everyone here, hope you’re having a great night-” He waves, and the audience goes wild again. Win them over, that was the plan. A plan mostly from Gerrard himself because despite his insistence of keeping it quiet, word spread quickly among the higher ranks.
There was uproar in the districts- plans of another rebellion and it was precisely why the rules were changed, to squash that down.
He would play along, for Maddie… for Chim and his future niece. He would keep them safe, and that even meant in death. He would rather die in that arena than risk getting his family killed. He could suck it up, he could pretend if only for a few minutes of the interview.
“Now Evan, your family isn’t unfamiliar with the Hunger Games, isn’t that right?” Caesar brings up, and Buck is glad Taylor prepared him for the question; the only sensible thing she has seemingly done was prepare him for this.
“Yes, my older brother Daniel, he participated in the games,” Buck answers, and Caesar nods knowingly.
“The 56th Hunger Games if I’m correct,” He brings up and Buck nods. “And if I remember correctly, he got far too, top 5. You must be very proud of him.” Buck’s stomach lurches at that, not wanting to think about it, about seeing your brother get murdered on live television in front of you.
Especially when he was just 11… and he was just a few days too late to save him. He could’ve, he could’ve been alive if he was just born earlier, he would’ve been 12 years old.
“We are-” He croaks, leaning back against the chair he was sitting in.
“And I believe he would be proud of you too, following in his footsteps, do you think you are able to win this?” Caesar comments, and it only makes his nausea worse because there’s nothing to be proud of, no pride in forced execution.
“I’m going to try.”
“And I believe there are people waiting on you back home with someone extra special?”
“My niece, she’s not born yet but my sister is due in a few months,” Buck swallows thickly. “I want a chance to meet my niece, tell her that I already love her.” The audience coos at that, and Buck stops for a moment. It was a game to them, a sick game.
“Let’s hope you will, but she’ll know your name, as the brave tribute in this glorious Quarter Quell!” More laughter in the audience, more cheering. Buck shudders. “So Evan, I also heard you had an accident a few years ago that broke your leg-”
And Buck tunes it out completely, speaking without being aware of the words that were coming out of his mouth, and it’s too long before Caesar says goodbye to him and he’s allowed to leave, and break down in silence.
*
*
*
The sun is the first thing Eddie sees when he’s raised up onto the platform, just a blinding light enveloping the entire arena. He whirls around, eyes taking in everything around him, gaining as much information as possible. The ground underneath him is black, just straight up black and cracks all around him. It takes him seconds before he realises what’s going on; it’s volcanic soil.
There’s a giant mountain to his right, but not active luckily. There are trees to his left, and more wasteland behind him and in front of him. No shelter, no life to be found. He glances to the mountain, craning his neck and there’s something there, a sliver of green. He looks at the rest of the tributes, the ones he can see at least.
Felisa Valdez from district 6 is next to him, eyes darting around and focusing on the forest. More tributes seem to have the same idea, run for the only shelter they can see.
10, 9, 8…
He can see one of the careers from 1, Ethan Copeland. A man who waited 18 years to join the Hunger Games, only to be reaped that year and have someone else volunteer. Of course he took the one chance he still had to win the games like he had wanted to for years.
7, 6, 5….
He can see the other tribute from district 4, Gladys standing there shaking slightly and eyes completely focused on the count down rather than anything. She’s taking no chances at missing the start of the games.
4, 3, 2….
Eddie takes a second to touch the St. Christopher hanging around his neck, which he’s luckily allowed to keep again. It got him through the last games… maybe it can again. He drops his hand, readying himself.
- 1. The canon is deafening, and he has a second to flinch, a second to realise he forgot how loud it was before he’s running. He runs as fast as he can, letting his feet carry him closer and closer to the cornucopia in the middle. He quickly scoops up one of the bags, and he spots Ethan Copeland in the distance, zeroing in on him.
He grits his teeth, Ethan was standing between him and the forest, but he wasn’t planning on going there anyways. He lunges for a sickle laying there, grabbing it before grabbing the last bag he can see and sprinting away, leaving everyone behind and heading straight to the volcano.
He looks back, but Ethan quickly seems to forget him, using his sword and stabbing the tribute from 8 right in the stomach, he goes down quickly and Eddie runs before he can fully hit the ground. He gasps out a breath as he runs up the hill, and he feels a sense of relief as he spots the swamp below.
It takes him longer than he would’ve wanted but all too quickly he reaches the swamp, slowing down a little. He doesn’t stop, continuing to walk until he’s deeper and deeper into the swamp, and he can’t hear anything behind him. Birds chirp around him, and he properly puts the bag on, two over each other.
He continues to walk, sickle in hand and ready for any attacks. It doesn’t come, and Eddie continues to walk until the first cannon sounds.
He shudders, letting himself sit down against one of the trees and he waits, glancing up at the air as the canons sound, 9 times. 9 people dead…. gone. He bows his head, grasping the necklace and kissing it quickly. For Christopher, he’s going to do this for him, to get home to his son, again.
He allows himself a few minutes to catch his breath, before he reaches for the bags that he managed to snatch.
The first bag was filled with a thin sleeping bag, two filled bottles of water which, judging by the water quality of the swamp, were going to be valuable. There was iodine in there, as well as an extra jacket for warmth. The second was filled with a first aid kit, another sleeping bag which was not useful now, a net and two small packages of dried fruit.
He sighs, putting everything into the one bag, which was luckily big enough to contain everything, and clipped the second sleeping bag onto it before leaning back to gather his thoughts. He was okay here, right now, but he would need to find a food source if he wanted to survive.
He wouldn’t be able to survive the games off some dried fruit. He sighs, mustering up the energy and picking up everything again. Shelter, that was his first priority. He glances up, hosting the backpack on his back and reaching for one of the trees. Maybe can get a better look up there, see what he’s dealing with.
He quickly makes his way up the tree, or at least… he tries to. There’s a snap to his left, and he’s just quick enough to duck out of the way before a knife whirls past him, embedding itself in the tree.
“Shit!” He curses loudly, lowering himself down as quickly as he can. Footsteps near him and he can see Chase Mackey enter the clearing he was in, looking up with a smirk on his face. He aims one of his knives, ready to throw it and Eddie drops down, gasping as he lands in the water below him. He immediately kicks up, trying to get to the surface.
Chase aims, throwing the knife and Eddie hisses as it grazes his arm, leaving a long gash. Eddie ignores the pain, pulling himself out of the water but he quickly notices his sickle is gone. His head snaps up, and the smirk is gone from Chase’s face, and he tries to reach for another knife.
Eddie is faster, reaching for one of the stones near the water and throwing it. Chase cries out as it hits his shoulder and Eddie charges. He slams into Chase, sending him flying back. Chase scrambles for purchase, but Eddie is there, slamming his elbow into Chase’s face and blood explodes from his nose.
Chase growls, grabbing another knife and nicking Eddie’s stomach. He hisses, reaching for Chase’s wrist and squeezing. The man yells, dropping the knife and then something groans beneath them. Eddie’s eyes widen, and for just a second, neither of them move before everything starts to shake around them.
An earthquake, and Eddie tries to scramble back from the ledge they were too close to but Chase latches on, and it’s just a second too long. The ground disappears under him and he’s falling. Rocks are falling all around him and he can’t stop himself, falling until he hits the water and the wind is knocked out of him.
The next thing he knows is two strong arms wrapping around his middle, pulling him up. He gasps, only getting more water in his mouth. He tries to fight Chase off, but the man holds him tight, not letting him go and Eddie quickly breaks the surface. He gasps, spluttering and coughing up water.
Chase drags him back and Eddie is too lightheaded to question it, to question why Chase would get him on the shore. He blinks up at the sky, and his body is pulled onto dry land. He vomits, turning on his side.
“Gross-” A voice mutters behind him and Eddie freezes because that’s not Chase. He stops, gasping and turning around to look at Buck, completely drenched and breathing slightly heavily but looking okay aside from the cut on his head that was bleeding sluggishly and mixing with the water.
“What happened-” Eddie gasps, and Buck’s face twists slightly and gestures to the water. There, Chase’s body was floating, unmoving. Eddie swallows thickly. “Did you…” He can’t even finish the sentence but Buck shakes his head.
“He was hit by a rock, there was a cannon before I even jumped in, I thought it was you,” Buck murmurs, and they’re both silent for a second before Buck sighs. “Wait here,” He stands up, and Eddie wants to stop him from jumping back into the water but Buck is faster, jumping in with ease.
He goes underwater, and within moments, not even more than 30 seconds, he’s back up again. Buck drags Eddie’s bag onto the shore again, grimacing slightly at the water weight.
“Can you walk?” Buck asks, and Eddie nods, pushing himself up. He gets the bag from Buck, and Buck walks to the tree where another bag was stashed as well as a belt of knives.
“We have to get out of here, we’re not safe here anymore,” Eddie says, and Buck nods, jaw set tightly and he puts the belt on again.
“Here-” He calls out, handing Eddie one of the knives. “If you’re gonna protect me, then you should have a weapon,” Buck quickly explains and Eddie frowns.
“I had one, but I lost it,” Eddie says, and Buck huffs out a laugh. “How did you know that was me?” Eddie asks as Buck continues to walk, luckily it wasn’t cold but Eddie knew that they had to find a way to dry their clothes and supplies soon enough.
“I saw you on the ledge before the earthquake, but it didn’t hit where I was,” Buck explains and Eddie sighs.
“Of course it didn’t-” Eddie mutters, continuing to walk. Eventually they get far enough that the body of Chase can be collected, and as it starts getting darker out there, the two of them manage to find a relatively small cavern that they climb into.
“Cozy,” Buck remarks lightly, and Eddie eyes at him as he starts wringing out his still wet supplies, shrugging off his jacket as well.
“Nothing like that mansion you’re used to right?” Eddie retorts, and Buck rolls his eyes.
“No, not really,” He mutters, reaching for his bag to check on his supplies. They work in silence, drying his clothes as much as possible before they quickly check each other over for any injuries. The cuts on Eddie’s arm and stomach aren’t big enough to cause concern, and the cut on Buck’s forehead has also stopped bleeding.
Buck’s bag contained more food than utilities, so they silently share it, Buck handing him food and some more weapons, and in turn Eddie gives him the still wet sleeping bag and one of the water bottles.
It’s not much later before the sound goes off announcing the deaths of the tributes. Buck climbs out of the cave next to Eddie, leaning on him as the pictures of the fallen tributes are shown, some familiar and some not; Eddie didn’t really keep up with most celebrities from other districts.
Even winners were hazy sometimes.
There were some surprises, Sam Egan, the male tribute from district 2 was dead, as well as Chase from 3. Both tributes from 5 as well. Eddie glances at Buck for a moment, because it meant Gladys was still alive. Buck doesn’t react, looking up at the sky as it continues. Sydney from district 7, the daughter of one of the most famous doctors in the district.
The male tribute from 8 Eddie saw getting killed by Ethan, Tatiana from his own district and then the male tribute from 10, and the two female tributes from 11 and 12.
“She had a daughter, you know?” Buck murmurs softly as the sound cuts off, sighing.
“Who?” Eddie asks, glancing at Buck.
“Evangeline, from district 11, she had a daughter Nia,” Buck clarifies, and for a moment neither of them move, neither of them speak. It was hard to forget how much Buck was involved with other districts sometimes, even going as far as being acutely aware of some facts that even he didn’t know.
Sure he was a victor, sure he was forced to travel to the capitol every year to celebrate another Hunger Games -at least they finally abolished the mentor mentee thing-, but he never met that many celebrities, avoiding them like the plague except for one, Buck.
The man sighs, pulling Eddie from his thoughts. “I can keep the first watch, you get some rest, we’ll need it tomorrow.”
And Eddie didn’t have the heart to correct him.
*
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*
Not much happens during the night, and after a few hours, Buck taps out so he can sleep and Eddie can keep the watch. It’s already light out, but Eddie sits silently, not really having the heart to wake Buck up just yet and waits until he hears a loud cannon going off.
Buck is also immediately awake, sitting up right with wide eyes and Eddie grabs his knife. In the distance, there’s an explosion and he flinches back. It’s too far away to do any damage, or really impact them but an entire area seems to blow up, splintering one of the trees and it’s seconds before another cannon goes off.
“What was that?” Buck whispers, and Eddie shakes his head.
“I don’t know, but we should go, that was too close,” He says, and Buck nods wordlessly. They each grab their own stuff; glad to feel the sleeping bags almost completely dry now. The temperature hadn’t dropped too much but it was still cold, and the shivering had only exhausted both of them more.
“Ten left,” Buck mutters as they start walking, and Eddie turns to him with a slight frown. “Ten tributes left, three careers included probably.” An observation more than anything, keeping track of the tributes that were still left. They would need it in the end, if they even got that far.
Eddie doesn’t reply, looking back briefly to see two dead bodies being lifted up but they’re too far to know who they were. They’d find out soon enough who that was.
“The volcano is smoking,” Buck suddenly observes, and Eddie looks up with a frown, seeing some smoke rise from the volcano. “Do you think it’s gonna erupt?” He asks, and Eddie swallows, not even wanting to think about that now.
“Let’s hope not-” He mutters, the last thing they’d need is an actual volcano eruption to happen. There was no way they’d survive that, but he also doubted whether the Capitol would do it. Sure, they were that cruel, but it also didn’t make for a very entertaining games to watch everyone burn to death.
Eddie shakes the thought out of his head, pushing on as they both continue walking somewhere else, far away from the swamp.
Eventually the two reach another body of water in an open field, fresh water this time. “You had iodine right?” Buck asks, and Eddie nods, handing Buck the bottle of iodine. The two quickly work to replace the water they had already drank the previous day, adding some droplets to the cold water before setting it down to do its work.
“Did you never learn how to swim?” Buck eventually breaks the silence, standing in the water up to his knees, bending over to tie together another trap with the net in Eddie’s bag. He doesn’t look up, completely focused on the trap but also… not. Hands moving with precision and practiced ease.
“Where would I?” Eddie counters.
Buck huffs. “Point taken,” He mutters, tying off the last knot and standing up.
“Chris loved the water when we visited district four-” Eddie eventually brings up, taking a shuddering breath and glancing at Buck. “He was mesmerised by it, and I remember taking him to one of the lakes near the village- you were there to teach him.” Buck smiles softly at the memory, remembering that day all too well.
He glances at the water, pulling his legs up to wrap his arms around it. He puts his head on his knees, falling silent.
“There aren’t any large bodies of water in district 9, but Chris always wanted to go swimming, go back to the ocean when we visited district 4. The kid loves the ocean, he certainly didn’t get that from me,” Eddie continues, looking at Buck with soft eyes. “You showed him that, you spoiled my kid-” Eddie adds but Buck doesn’t respond, blinking heavily, but not saying anything.
Buck’s uncharacteristically quiet, not looking at Eddie and not even smiling at the mention of Chris. Ever since they met all those years ago… it had always worked. Chris would always make Buck break out in a huge grin, especially when Eddie was allowed to bring the boy to district 4 for the first time.
Eddie was grateful for it, grateful that Chris could at least experience life before he was put in the reaping…. before he turned 16 and was forced to risk his life. And Eddie knew that there was no way Chris would survive, and neither would he at that point.
“You wanna know why that spot I showed you was so quiet?” Buck whispers, still not looking at Eddie. The older man shifts slightly, glancing at Buck.
“Why?” The spot had been a little out of the way, behind the Village where all the victors and the influential people lived like the Buckley’s, or at least before they died a few years ago. The first year Chris had met Buck, he had taken them both to a quiet spot, far behind the Village and hidden behind bushes.
Eddie had to carry Chris for a bit over the unsteady terrain before they managed to break through the greenery, and a small body of water turned up. Part of the sea that had broken away from the rest, and almost completely surrounded all around with greenery; bushes, trees and nature.
The spot had been hidden, nobody coming there, and Eddie had always wondered why.
Buck shrugs slightly. “I honestly don’t know, I don’t think anyone knows it’s there-” Buck whispers, a lump in his throat. Tears burn in his eyes, and he bows his head. “I found it a few months after we moved into the Village, when I was 17… It was always my spot to go and be alone if I needed it-”
Buck reaches out to brush away the tears, forcing them away and finally glancing up at Eddie.
“I never showed anyone that place, Maddie found me a few years ago but I never showed her… ever until-”
“Until you showed Chris and I,” Eddie finishes and Buck nods, huffing out a laugh and leaning back.
“I know what you’re thinking, rich white boy from the Village complaining about his life,” Buck’s voice sounds bitter, and he turns away from Eddie, closing his eyes and hiding his face in his knees as he lets the tears fall. “Life in Four isn’t always easy either.”
*
*
*
Luck was bound to run out for the two of them, because of course it would. There was no way that the gamemakers would ever allow them to have an easy game, to not make it exciting for the people to watch at home. After all, this was still a punishment for the districts, to push the revolution down and kill it before it fully begins.
Buck just didn’t expect it to happen so soon, not when they’re simply walking over the black stone and suddenly everything seems to shake around them.
Eddie’s eyes widen and they meet Buck’s, but there’s no time to panic, no time to even react before the ground cracks beneath them.
“Shit!” Eddie curses, reaching out for Buck but the ground cracks between them, and before Buck can grab his hand, he falls backwards. The ground explodes, heat almost burning his feet and he feels himself falling and falling. He slides down the hill, rocks and debris falling alongside him.
And he can’t stop, he can’t stop falling, tumbling and sliding downwards until he hits the ground hard and for a second everything goes silent. His ears are ringing, and his ribs ache, throbbing painfully and he brings a hesitant hand up. He hisses in pain as he presses down, but he doesn’t think he broke anything.
He coughs, lifting his head and freezing when he stares right at another tribute, scrambling up with wide eyes. The man chuckles slightly, turning to look at the sky.
“Don’t worry,” He says with a soft voice, a slight accent noticeable. “I don’t think I’m going anywhere,” He adds, letting out a soft chuckle despite the situation being anything but funny. Buck breathes out shakily, wrapping his arm around himself to protect his ribs.
Buck’s eyes roam over his body, covered in soot and dirt, until they land on the giant piece of rock that had landed on his legs, keeping him trapped and pinned to the ground. Buck swallows thickly, scrambling to his feet and for a second he has no idea what to do in the situation.
He could run, because surely people in the arena had heard the earthquake or whatever it was, and they’d be here any minute. Or he could…kill-
Buck shakes his head quickly, and he’s moving before he even realises the choice he made himself.
“You did not kill me,” The tribute breathes out, almost staring up at Buck with an awe-struck expression. Buck grimaces as he looks over the damage.
“District 12 right?” Buck asks, reaching for the rock but only managing a pained groan out of him.
“I’m Saleh,” He breathes out, and Buck looks at him.
“Buck,” He introduces himself, and Saleh smiles despite the weight crushing him.
“I know you,” He says, and Buck ducks his head slightly, face twisting slightly.
“I’m sorry for not recognising you,” Buck says, and vaguely he remembers Saleh being a family member of one of the only district 12 winners… but he just can’t seem to recognise him. “I’m gonna get you out of here, but it’s gonna hurt okay?” Buck tries to warn him, and Saleh breathes out.
“You’re gonna need to hurry-” Saleh murmurs, head moving up to look at the sky again. “That landslide was loud,” He explains in an equally soft voice but it’s enough for Buck to understand. They were in an open area, completely exposed and the noise was bound to have attracted some tributes.
Buck nods quickly, standing up again fully and looking around, but there’s nothing around him to use. He has his knives, and luckily his backpack is still with him but he knows there’s nothing in there that can help. Nothing to leverage the rock with and to get it off…. And for what?
Saleh’s legs were surely broken now, there was no way he was going to survive and yet…. Buck couldn’t just leave the man behind. Couldn’t just let him die on his own, and he surely wasn’t going to do it himself. So he braces himself, gritting his teeth and pushes hard against the rock, begging it to move.
It doesn’t move, it doesn’t even budge, or move an inch no matter how hard he presses. He wants to yell and scream in frustration as the rock still doesn’t move.
“Buck!” A voice cuts in suddenly, and Buck immediately whirls around, knife drawn but he quickly relaxes when he sees Eddie rush towards him.
“Eddie-” He breathes, pocketing his knife and watching him approach. Eddie seems to quickly assess the situation, eyes flickering from Buck to Saleh, and then back to Buck.
“Buck, we have to go,” Eddie is the one to point out what Buck already knows, the rational one but Buck doesn’t want to accept it.
“He’s going to die if we leave him,” Buck tries to protest, even if he knows well enough that if either of them want to get out of here…. Saleh has to die. And he knows that Eddie knows it too.
“Then let’s move,” Eddie sighs eventually, and Buck positively beams at that, nodding quickly and positioning himself against the rock again. And with the help of Eddie, they manage to push the rock off, and Saleh lets out a pain yell as it’s lifted off his leg. Eddie crouches down, assessing his injuries.
He runs his fingers over the limbs, looking up at Buck. “Right leg is broken,” He announces, and Buck sucks in a breath.
“That sounds serious,” Saleh brings in, and Buck nods, already crouching down to get Saleh on his feet.
“We just have to get you to saf-” He tries to get out but he’s interrupted when he’s pushed, hard. He stumbles, crashing to the ground and he’s just quick enough to see an axe fly past his head and bounce off the rock they had just lifted off Saleh. “Shit!” Buck curses, hands reaching for his knives and seeing Ethan Copeland standing there.
He twirls his remaining axe, and Eddie makes a split decision, grabbing the axe instead and throwing Buck a look.
“Meet at the first cave-” He orders, knowing Buck understands what Eddie was referring to. But Eddie doesn’t wait for confirmation, feeling the weight of the axe in his hand and instead of running away… he runs at Ethan himself. He swings his axe in Ethan’s direction, but it’s swiftly blocked.
He grits his teeth, allowing his mind to go blank. Ethan swings again and something explodes around him. The ground shakes beneath him, and Eddie crumbles to the ground, losing his balance. He grips the axe tight, swinging again but this time Ethan rolls out of the way, and Eddie hits the stone.
Ethan recovers quickly, and Eddie feels the axe slip from his hands as he dives away. He reaches for one of the knives Buck has given him, and Ethan seems almost surprised that he has another weapon with him. The blade catches Ethan’s arm, blood flying out of the wound and causing Ethan to hiss.
Eddie’s mind goes blank at that point, another explosion rocks the ground and it’s only a second where Eddie has the time to realise that something wasn’t right but he doesn’t allow himself to dwell on it. He sees Buck, because of course he would ignore him, but he’s interrupted as something explodes between them.
Thick lava splutters out of the ground, creating a physical barrier between them and Eddie cries out at the heat, scrambling away and narrowly dodging another attack. The axe Ethan was carrying embeds into the rocks, and Eddie throws his knife without thinking, and Eddie has to abandon his axe in favour of saving himself.
Eddie jumps immediately, and the two of them go tumbling, and Eddie feels Ethan’s fist hit his face. Eddie manages to throw Ethan off, but not before Eddie feels a sharp pain in his shoulder and he numbly realises that Ethan had stabbed him. He can’t process it before Ethan manages to grab the axe again.
And Eddie is only just fast enough to yank the knife out of his flesh and throw it at Ethan. Eddie doesn’t even want to see the knife imbed itself in Ethan’s head, or wonder why the canon isn’t going off. He stumbles, crumbling to the ground and staring up at the sky with wide eyes.
Blood gushes from the wound on his shoulder, and he’s too shocked to move. He doesn’t want to move, the pain almost excruciating. He stares up at the sky, at the dome that was visibly crumbling above him and he realises finally why something wasn’t adding up, why there were so many explosions.
The dome continues to flicker, crumbling and opening up and he sees the first hover craft appear in the sky and he closes his eyes.
They were being rescued.
*
*
*
Eddie’s not in pain when he wakes up but he feels hazy, like he’s floating far away and watching from above as life continues. He frowns, shifting slightly but his body feels out of control, like he’s not the one operating it anymore.
“You’re okay, I’m here-” He hears the voice from far away, and yet so close by. He blinks his eyes open, almost immediately squeezing them shut at the bright lights. He can hear someone plant a kiss, and he turns his head, glancing at the sound that was sitting next to him on the bed.
There’s another bed, a sizable space between them, just far enough that they wouldn’t be able to reach out.
“Maddie?” Eddie croaks, swallowing thickly as he focuses on the woman lying on the bed. Maddie looks at him, sending him a soft smile.
“Hey Eddie,” She acknowledges, looking down for a moment as she continues to cart her fingers through Buck’s curls. Buck’s fast asleep on the bed, an IV stuck in his hand connected to a bag of clear liquid. Maddie kisses the top of Buck’s head again, before gently untangling herself.
Eddie’s about to open his mouth to protest, but Maddie sends him a look to stop him. Maddie walks over to him, reaching out and grasping his hand.
“Thank you for keeping my brother safe,” She whispers, squeezing his hand. Eddie squeezes his eyes shut, shuffling slightly to sit up higher.
“He saved me too,” Eddie says, shuffling more to make room for Maddie to sit down. The woman does, putting her free hand on her belly. “I heard about the pregnancy, I didn’t get to congratulate you,” Eddie adds, and Maddie laughs at that.
“Almost 6 months-” Maddie says, the smile disappearing as she glances at Buck’s bed again. “I was almost afraid he wouldn’t get to meet her, that my daughter would grow up without her uncle Buck,” Maddie adds with a croak, face twisting with sadness. Eddie shudders.
“What happened?” Eddie asks instead. “Where are we?” He had passed out in the helicopter after they were taken away. Of course they were aware of the uproar in the districts but they weren’t filled in, especially with the capitol watching them so closely. So neither of them had any clue what was going on.
“Eddie, we’re in district 13-”
“What?” Eddie’s eyes widen at that because… district 13 didn’t exist, it was destroyed 75 years ago and yet-
“It’s true Eddie, district 13 exists, they’ve rescued us,” Maddie asserts, shushing Eddie as he opens his mouth. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but they’ve been infiltrating the capitol for years now, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. The new game maker, David Hale, he was working for us, and managed to sneak District 13 to the arena to rescue you both-”
“Who survived?” Eddie croaks, and both of them glance at Buck.
“You both did; Felisa from 6, Saleh from 12 and the female tribute from 2,” Maddie explains, and Eddie breathes out, leaning back against the pillows.
“Buck saved him,” He mutters and Maddie nods.
“You both did, if you hadn’t led Ethan away and killed him….-” Maddie trails off, and Eddie closes his eyes for a moment, not wanting to think about that, how the cannon hadn’t gone off even if he expected it, how he had watched the life left Ethan’s eyes.
“So 13?” Eddie croaks instead, opening his eyes again. Maddie nods.
“Chimney and I were watching when the arena was attacked, but they were ready for us, they saved us and brought us up to 13-” Maddie stops for a moment, and Eddie sits up straighter.
“Maddie, what are you not telling me?” Eddie asks sharply, and Maddie deflates, looking at Eddie with a guilty expression.
“They weren’t able to get to 9 before the capitol realised what was happening-”
“What happened?” Eddie hisses, sitting up and only then does the pain makes its presence known and he groans loudly, curling in on himself.
“Eddie-” Maddie tries but Eddie shakes his head.
“Tell me,” He orders and Maddie sighs.
“They’re alive, I promise. The capitol has no reason to bomb an entire district especially considering how much the capitol adores Christopher… but we can’t get to them, not yet,” Maddie explains, and Eddie would’ve rather been shot again than hear this news. “Your family is safe but we can’t get them.”
His son… his parents… Abuela, Pepa….. they were all still in district 9, away and definitely not safe, nobody was safe. He feels tears burn but he pushes them down, turning on his side and away from Maddie.
“I’m really sorry, Eddie,” Maddie tries but Eddie shakes his head.
“I want to be alone,” He mutters and Maddie sighs, reaching out but Eddie flinches at the contact, curling more into himself and that is enough for Maddie. She sighs again, standing up and leaving the room. And Eddie cries silently.
*
*
*
It takes Buck a few days to heal from the smoke inhalation and the burns and cuts he sustained in the arena, and then he’s out of the med bay and moved into Chim and Maddie’s apartment that district 13 had given them. It wasn’t much, but with the amount of refugees they had suddenly gotten, there wasn’t much they could do.
Still, Buck had a bed, their own private space, and they were finally together again.
“Kid?” Bobby startles him out of his thoughts, and Buck looks up with a slight frown. “Where did you go?” He asks, and Buck sighs, shaking his head.
“Just thinking, what were you saying?” He asks instead, and Bobby seems to study him for a moment, almost as if he’s contemplating whether to press but eventually he moves back to the task at hand. He grabs the knife that was abandoned on the counter.
“I was trying to teach you how to cut a bell pepper,” Bobby fires back, and Buck grins sheepishly at that. He’s sitting on the counter next to where Bobby was cutting the vegetables, still a little weak from the injuries in the arena and just the general exhaustion that came with it.
Bobby understood, he understood more than he would’ve liked to admit. Bobby was a winner years ago. He won the 38th Hunger Games back when he was younger, 18 years old when he entered the arena as the male tribute for district 3. He won… or maybe he didn’t, but he survived.
Because Buck understood, now more than ever, that there were no winners in the game, only survivors.
“How are you settling in so far?” Bobby breaches the silence as he shows Buck how to cut the pepper, but Buck’s not really paying attention, thoughts drifting too much. Buck hums softly, looking down at his swinging feet.
“It’s fine, Chimney doesn’t snore luckily so I’m good. Just glad that I can be here for Maddie,” Buck explains. “She’s been having more trouble with the pregnancy, I think it’s all the stress, but doctors assured her everything was fine,” Buck continues, and Bobby looks up at him with a thoughtful look on his face, pausing his movements for a moment.
“And what about you?” He gently presses, and Buck frowns.
“Me?” Buck asks, scratching the back of his neck at the scrutiny. “I’m fine?” He tries, and Bobby just levels him with a knowing look, clearly not believing Buck’s statements but Buck doesn’t care enough to convince Bobby right now. So he just huffs out a breath, glancing away for a moment.
It’s been a few days since he was introduced to Bobby, but Bobby had almost instantly taken him under his wing. Bobby was one of the few people in district 13 to truly know what it was like to experience the games. District 13 had a lot of refugees but before the revolution, only a handful of winners.
It was virtually impossible to escape the Capitol, and that was only worse when you were on their radar. A past winner, a celebrity… a rebel... Just anything that would get you on the radar of the Capitol. Bobby made it to District 13, but not before pissing off the Capitol enough around 8 years ago.
It was alcohol that Bobby got hooked on after an unrelated injury a year before, and it started affecting his performance as a mentor during that year’s game. So when Bobby was brought back to his home in the Village, he returned to it actively burning down instead - his entire family still trapped inside.
“I was assigned to keep an eye on you, make sure you’re settling in,” Bobby eventually breaks his train of thought, already moving on to start chopping another vegetable Buck has never even seen in his life. “I know everything here is overwhelming but I can also see you’re trying to hide it. You have to talk to someone about it or it will eat you alive-” Bobby reminds him.
“Bobby I’m fine, yes it’s a little overwhelming but I’m fine. You saw the games yourself, nothing much happened,” Buck tries to wave Bobby’s concerns away.
“I’m not just talking about the games, Buck,” Bobby points out, and for a moment Buck feels his mouth go dry at the implication, and his heart threatens to jump out of his ribcage because surely Bobby couldn’t know right? Unless Maddie had told him… or maybe he knew from the Capitol.
Or maybe it was intel that District 13 had on them anyways, maybe they had been spying on the districts for years and knew everything about him. All of his dirty secrets that he never wanted anyone to know about.
“Buck, I don’t expect you to talk to me, but you have to talk to someone. We have some people here who can help. Frank or even Dr. Copeland, they can help you,” Bobby tries, but Buck shakes his head. He didn’t want to talk, he didn’t want to remember. “Can you at least talk to your sister about it? Or to Chimney?” Bobby asks after that.
Buck swallows thickly because he hated the question, the painful reminder that his sister knew what happened. That she was there to help him through his darkest days, even if he never wanted her to see that side of him. She did, she figured it out because of course she did. She had always been the smartest.
The most observant… the most thoughtful. And Buck is pretty sure Chim is vaguely aware of what happened over the years, Chimney isn’t stupid either.
“I can talk to Maddie,” Buck says, ignoring the way his stomach flips at the lie. He can’t… he physically can’t get himself to talk about it. She knows, but not because he told her, and he can never get himself to actually tell her. Talk about his fears, talk to her when he has another nightmare.
Bobby seems doubtful too, but Buck can’t really get himself to care.
“You were going to show me how to cut onions next?” Buck tries to distract, hopping off the counter to grab the discarded knife. Bobby eyes at him, but eventually relents, for which Buck is grateful.
“The trick is to not make the onion bleed,” Bobby starts, and Buck cocks his head.
“Onions can bleed?” Buck asks, almost horrified and Bobby lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head.
“Not quite kid-” And Buck watches intently as Bobby continues to explain how to best cut the onion, and apparently how to avoid making the onion bleed. It’s relaxing, and for a while Buck doesn’t have to think about anything other than listening to Bobby ramble about different techniques to cut and prepare an onion.
Bobby shows him how to do it, how to prepare them for various dishes and how to cut other vegetables and more tricks. Apparently cocoa powder, the unsweetened version, was one of his secret ingredients that he usually used to make the sauce. Buck listens intently as Bobby teaches him as much as he can.
He’s sure he’ll forget most by the next day, but it’s relaxing. Eventually there’s a soft knock on the door, and Buck jumps slightly at the sound. Both of them look up to see Hen standing there.
“Hey Buckaroo,” She greets him, walking over to them and reaching out to quickly grab one of the paprika pieces Buck was in the process of cutting.
“I worked hard on those!” Buck cries out with a laugh, trying to reach for it but Hen is quicker, and dodges him. Hen gives him a grin, and Buck can’t help but mirror.
“How are you doing?” Hen asks him, and Buck turns to his cutting board again.
“Bobby’s teaching me how to cook, and it was going great until you ruined my hard work-” Buck complains light-heartedly, but there’s a fond smile on his face as he looks at her. He liked Hen, she was really sweet and had already helped him a lot in the short time he has been in District 13.
She reminded him a lot of Maddie, a sisterly instinct to her as she kept fussing over him and checking in on how he was doing. Which wasn’t surprising considering she had a son, Denny, she was raising with her wife Karen. She had been here a lot longer than any of them had, since Denny’s birth basically.
Karen was a famous scientist in District 3, the same district Bobby was from. She had been on District 13’s radar for a while now, working for them undercover until eventually it became too dangerous and the district managed to get Karen, Hen and a baby Denny to safety in District 13.
Hen had gotten shot in the process, but she had fully recovered after that. And it was that injury that made her decide to become a paramedic instead.
“How’s Chimney handling the training?” Bobby asks eventually, shooting Hen a quick looks as she takes another piece of the paprika.
“He’s doing great, he’s a natural,” Hen supplies. Chim had followed in Hen’s footsteps, continuing his paramedic training just like Hen had. He too wanted to help people, always had since he was younger. Buck knew the story of Kevin and how he had died in a tragic accident a long time ago.
Buck hadn’t even known Chimney when it had happened, but he could see it was weighing on the man even today.
“He loves helping people, so I’m glad you’re helping him,” Buck adds to the conversation softly, and Hen hums thoughtfully at that.
“He cares a lot about you too, Buck,” Hen brushes his shoulder gently, and Buck gives her a soft smile.
“He’s my brother, even before he started dating Maddie,” Buck shrugs casually.
“Well I hope you don’t mind sharing him, because I really enjoy his company too,” Hen comments, and Buck grins at her.
“I thought you were into girls?” Buck retorts, and Hen flicks her finger between his eyes at that. “Ow! Bobby, I'm being bullied!” Buck cries out, and Buck can see Bobby shake his head fondly.
“Stop distracting my sous chef, we need to get this batch ready soon,” Bobby says, but there’s no anger or annoyance in his voice.
“Riiiight,” Hen states, stealing another piece from Buck’s plate. “Who is it for this time?” Hen asks.
“Soup for the medical wing, lasagna for training facilities, it should be done in about an hour, if you could help me with transport that would be great,” Bobby tells her, and Hen hums.
“I can help?” Buck offers, but Bobby shakes his head.
“I promised your sister I would keep you here when she comes to get you,” Bobby counters. Buck groans, sending a glare to Hen as she snickers.
“Come on Bobby, you heard her this morning, it’ll be hours before she’s done,” Buck tries, glancing at Hen for support. “I can help Hen in the training facility, and then I’ll be back before Maddie even gets here.” Hen chuckles again, putting a hand on Buck’s shoulder.
“He’s right Bobby, he needs to stretch his legs too,” Hen laughs, shaking Buck a little. “Besides, I want to know if what Chimney told me is all true,” She grins mischievously at him, and Buck rolls his eyes at her.
“Probably all true, Chim can’t keep a secret and he certainly can’t lie,” Buck mentions fondly.
“Then I need to know how the hell you survived childhood,” Hen deadpans, before looking at Bobby. The man was standing there with a fond expression on his face, a small smile tugging at his lips that was only reserved usually for May or Harry. Hen cocks her head slightly, and for a second the two lock eyes.
There’s so much to read in Hen’s expression, and eventually Bobby sighs, relenting.
“Fine, but you bring him back here immediately,” Bobby says, and Buck grins.
“Don’t worry Cap-” He laughs, already grabbing shrugging off his apron and getting rid of his supplies (as Bobby had drilled into him the first day). Hen watches him with an amused gaze before walking over to Bobby.
“You’re being protective of him,” Hen points out thoughtfully.
“He’s a good kid,” He tries to shrug off, but Hen knew better.
“He is-” She murmurs, patting his shoulder before Buck calls out for her to join him and Hen walks after him.
*
*
*
Hen does bring Buck home in time luckily. They run a little overtime when Hen was called away for a moment, but Buck was fine when she got back, and casually flirting with one of the soldiers when she did. For a moment Buck seemed to be like a deer caught in headlights when Hen returns.
An analogy truly fitting for his name, but Hen just shakes her head fondly.
“Come on, loverboy-” She mentions, and Buck sends an apologetic look towards the soldier before walking after Hen. They quickly exit the training facility, and Buck silently follows her, rubbing his hands anxiously. He hadn’t meant for this to happen of course, he just wanted Hen to show him around!
He was grateful of course to be in District 13, but he couldn’t help but want to explore, see more of his new home… if he could even call it that. He wanted to see where the people spent their days, and maybe he wanted to see what life can be like away from the Capitol, away from the Hunger Games.
It was clear the people here loved life, and they weren’t constantly plagued by the horrors the people in Panem were. Sure, there was still a war looming over their heads but their children were born without the fear that they could potentially be sent to the Hunger Games when they were 12, or 16 later.
Their parents didn’t live in fear that at any point their child could be taken away from them. They didn’t live in fear of when their next meal would be, they didn’t live in fear of whether they would do or say anything that would piss off their leader. They didn’t live in fear of having their entire family burned to death.
They didn’t live in fear of being ra- Buck shakes his head, not wanting to go there, not now. There was a perfectly shaped safe in his mind where that was going.
“Really Buck, I leave you alone for 15 minutes and you start flirting with him?” Hen brings up eventually, and Buck feels himself tense at that. Because he hadn’t meant to flirt…. It just happened, he couldn’t help himself. “Riley is definitely not your type, you can do better Buckaroo,” She adds, a little softer, more fonder.
Buck almost gets whiplash as he whips his head towards Hen, eyes wide at the casual acceptance.
“You’re fine with me…-” He can’t finish the sentence, gesturing wildly with his hands.
“Flirting with a guy?” Hen levels him a look, and Buck nods hesitantly. “Buck, I like women, I’m happily married to one. I’m just more mad at myself for not realising,” Hen tells him, and Buck shrugs.
“I know, I guess I was afraid it might be different for men-” Buck mutters, and Hen softens for a moment.
“Was it different in district 4?” She asks softly, and for a moment Buck seems to think before shaking his head.
“Not really,” Buck eventually settles on, and Hen brushes against him again, hooking his arm in hers.
“Well, it’s not different here either,” Hen starts up. “But trust me when I say that Riley Donato is not your type, he’s too impulsive-”
“So am I,” Buck counters, and Hen shakes her head with a laugh.
“Exactly, not a good match, you need someone who compliments you, not mirrors you-” Like Eddie. Buck shakes his head again, because he doesn’t need to go there.
“What about you and Karen?” Buck instead asks, and Hen gives him a soft smile at that, still holding onto his arm as they continue walking. It feels comforting, as if Hen was a steadying weight keeping him on the ground instead of floating away into nothingness. And Buck listens intently.
About her life in district 3 before she was rescued by district 13. How Denny came to be in her life and how she had met Karen. Buck listens as they walk back to the community kitchen where Bobby would be waiting for them, bringing Buck home in time just like she had promised Bobby.
They even have half an hour to spare before that, so Buck helps Bobby clean up the rest of the kitchen. Making sure everything is clean for the next time, and everything is stored in the right place before he hears a soft knock on the door.
“Hey Mads!” Buck greets his older sister, quickly scanning her but she seems to be doing fine.
“How was today?” She asks, hugging Buck back as he wraps his arms around her. She glances at Bobby, but the man gives her a kind smile instead.
“He was a great help, he’s a natural,” Bobby supplies, and Buck ducks his head slightly at the compliment. “And Buck, think about what I said. We all talked to Frank, he could really help you too,” Bobby adds, and Buck’s face twists slightly but he still nods.
“I’ll think about it, thanks Bobby,” He mutters, waving at Hen as Maddie luckily starts guiding him out of the door and into the hallway again. The Buckley siblings are silent for a moment, passing through the hallways until they get to their shared living quarters, the ones they shared with the others, including Bobby.
Maddie opens the door to their room, and Buck quickly goes into the room, sitting down on the spare bed that the district had provided for him.
“What did Bobby mean by talking to Frank?” Maddie is the first to breach the silence, hovering slightly near Buck but eventually joining him on the bed. She sits with her legs crossed, facing him completely. Buck sighs.
“I was hoping you didn’t catch that,” Buck mutters softly, but shifts on the bed until he’s facing his sister, his legs also crossed. “Bobby wants me to talk to someone about what’s bothering me. I think he suspects something,” Buck reluctantly explains, glancing at his sister with a worried expression.
He can’t help but bite his lip, a nervous tick he couldn’t seem to get rid of.
“Maybe it is good to talk to someone-” Maddie starts, and Buck groans.
“Maddie-” Buck starts but Maddie shakes her head.
“Buck, I’m serious.” Maddie reaches out, grabbing Buck’s hands and squeezing them. “You won’t talk to me about it, Chim barely knows and I’m … I’m afraid you’re not handling it.”
“I am handling it, I’m fine,” Buck retorts, but Maddie just cocks her head at the statement.
“Are you?” She whispers, shuffling a bit closer. “Buck, you shut down the moment I bring it up. I had to figure out what happened and I don’t think you would’ve told me about it if I hadn’t …. You’re not handling it, you’re ignoring it,” Maddie adds after that, rubbing Buck’s hands with her thumbs and looking at him.
Buck seems to shrink at the words, visibly making himself as small as possible and it was still so startling to see. Buck was anything but small, he was tall and was gradually putting on more and more muscle again. And yet, he looked ridiculously small, almost like the 12 year old boy she left behind.
Maddie sighs, relenting a bit but not releasing his hands.
“I’m just worried about you, I can see you’re not okay. I know you’re having nightmares, and I can see how you flinch sometimes-”
“To be fair, I did just get out of a deadly arena,” Buck pipes up, and Maddie levels him with a look. Buck sighs, knowing this wasn’t the time for jokes or quips. “I’ll think about it okay? I just need some time with everything going on…. I’m not ready to talk, it’s too soon-” Buck eventually adds and Maddie smiles sadly.
“I’ll be here if you are ready,” Maddie whispers, reaching out one of her hands to cradle his face. Buck leans into it, Maddie’s touch was always safe, he never feared her. “I love you, little brother.”
Buck blinks his eyes open, not sure when he closed them but he smiles softly at her. “I love you too, Mads-”