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"Max," Victoria begins quietly. The two of them stare up into the sky, into the dark of the Earth filled with the twinkling light of stars long since dead, stars that fill the world with a beauty that is so hard to understand, but so easy to recognise. Max and Victoria lie next to one another, their arms brushing, on a purple blanket out on the field, the grass slightly wet but the girls uncaring. "do you believe in fate?"
Max stays silent for a moment. She looks at this colour, at the blacks and blues and shining pearl white of the stars in the sky, thinks about her powers, and the way she can twist the world to how she wants it, distort life and nature and love as much as she wants until the beauty of the world is hers, and the whims of people and their happiness is, much, controlled by her. She thinks of her nosebleeds, and how Kate would be dead if it weren't for her, and her powers.
"Yes," Max says. She is uncertain, for how could such a question be answered so easily? But she says yes, and she sticks with it. "I think what happens to you is fate, I guess. In a way. I like to look at the world as one long stream of events that have already happened – a timeline from the beginning until the end – and that everything we have ever done and said has already been mapped out, even though we said it of our own free will, our own choice. But what I mean is it's already happened, but it also hasn't happened yet."
"You really think time could work like that?" Victoria says, grabbing Max's hand in her own. "I mean, wouldn't that make you like fate? You can decide what happens to so many people here at Blackwell."
Max sighs, feels this sting in her eyes that she ignores. "Yeah –" she replies, her throat clogged. "But is it fate that I was given these powers, and fate that made me preform the actions I have with these powers, or am I just someone who's escaped fate entirely?"
"Or fate just doesn't exist." Victoria replies, squeezing Max's hand. "It's easy to feel guilty when your actions are entirely your own, Max."
Max doesn't look at her. "Are you thinking about Kate?"
"Yes." Victoria says. Her brown eyes look at the half-moon, scanning it for imperfections, but finding none. "If fate does exists, then I was supposed to bully her as I did. If we go by your theory of time being one long event that has already happened, but also has yet to happen, then I was supposed to bully Kate, but only because I had already made the decision to. But –" Victoria sighs heavily, tries to cover it up with a cough. Max pretends she doesn't notice. "if fate doesn't exist, then I almost killed her out of spite. My own resolve."
Max says nothing.
"I don't like the idea that my actions were entirely unjustified like that, Maxine." She tightens her grip on Max's hand, entwines their fingers. "Because that just means I'm a terrible person."
Max shakes her head. "I don't think that." She says. "Because if you're a terrible person for following your own voice, then isn't everyone?"
Victoria scoffs. "But most people don't force a girl up to the roof of a building to die."
Max turns on her side, looks directly at Victoria, who is staring at the sky with apt interest – more interest than she had just a moment ago, and both she and Max know that she's really just trying to avoid Max's eyes. "Most people don't spend their holidays in Malaysia making houses, or donating clothes and money to those less fortunate, either, but does that mean they're bad people? It's all relative, Victoria."
Victoria glances at Max, looks her in the eyes, and then looks back to the sky. She pulls Max into her, wraps an arm around her. Max rests her head against Victoria's shoulder. "That's only if fate doesn't exist, of course."
Max nods. "I think it's easier to believe fate exists because it stops us looking at ourselves as monsters. It gives us a reason to feel better about a bad grade we got, or that person we yelled at."
"Fate is total shit." Victoria says, but it isn't venomous. She sounds certain, confident. "If I'm going to make such shitty decisions, I'm going to make them because I mess up, not because time or fate or God or what-the-fuck-ever tells me to."
Max gives a small laugh, wraps an arm over Victoria's waist. "I think that's probably best." She replies.
"After all, I don't want to think that my feelings for you were made to happen. I like to think that we fell in love ourselves, and worked at it ourselves."
"You're so cheesy." Max says, smiling up at Victoria and noticing the blush that covers her face, even in the darkness of one in the morning.
Victoria puckers her lips in upset. "Shut up." She says. But then she cranes her neck to look down at Max, who's curled into her side, and she smiles, kisses her forehead.
"And, if fate does exist, then that means none of my humour is actually my own, and I just refuse to believe that that is true."
"Oh, God," Victoria replies, a groan in her voice. "I do too – I can't imagine Fate would be so damn awful at jokes, especially pick-up lines."
Max laughs, Victoria laughs.
The two look back at the sky. "So, since you think that fate doesn't exist," Max begins, "do you think that time is just one huge timeline that's already happened, but also hasn't happened yet?"
"Max, it's one in the morning." Victoria says, rubbing at Max's cold arm. She's never been more thankful that it isn't windy, or Max would freeze. "This shit is too deep to get further into."
"That's true." Max replies.
They sit in the silence, looking at the sky. One thing Max loves about Arcadia Bay that she just couldn't get in Seattle, is the silence, followed by maybe the small, distant hoot of an owl, or the rare sound of a car passing down the road. It's quiet, silent almost, but not deserted.
"So," Max begins again. "Do you believe in God?"
Victoria laughs.
"No, Max, I don't believe in God."
"Jesus?"
Victoria shrugs. "I believe he was a person, sure, but the son of God? I can't really believe that since I don't believe in God."
"Do you believe in any Gods?"
"No," Victoria says, "but I do believe that someone very, very cool must exist to think up someone like you."
Max rolls her eyes. "You turn into a total cheeseball past one in the morning."
Victoria smiles so hard she thinks her face will fall off, but acts outraged when she speaks, flicking her free hand into the air in disbelief. "I know! I think it's you Maxine, you've ruined me." And then she keeps her hand there, waving it freely through the sky, her finger tracing over the star signs she can see.
"I haven't finished with you yet, Tori. You haven't even seen the Star Wars prequels, and they are hella awesome. I'll give you credit for seeing the first three though -"
"Those little bear things are adorable, I'll admit." Vic replies, letting her hand fall to her stomach. "But they have the creepiest fucking eyes."
Max rolls over, back onto her back. "Hell yeah! Thank god human eyes aren't like that, I'd look terrible. But I don't think you could have creepy eyes if you tried."
"Max, nice try, but I think anyone who had beads for eyes would be pretty fucking creepy."
"Or they'd just look like Nathan Prescott on a good day."
Victoria snorts, hits Max lightly, covers her laugh. "Maxine, I know he can be a little creepy sometimes, a lot more lately, but he's my friend. He's got a lot of shit in his life."
"Everyone does." she replies, not looking too deeply into her own words.
The silence blankets them again, and Max's lips pucker in thought.
Victoria just stares at the moon.
"See, this is why I didn't want to sit out here with you like a hipster at one in the fucking morning, Maxine, because everyone turns into a philosophical asshole past midnight."
"I guess that's Fate's way of telling us to go to bed." Max jokes, looking at Victoria and smiling.
"Well, fuck Fate." Victoria says, rolling on her side and leaning in close. She plants a deep, long kiss on Max's lips, her eyes slipping shut and devouring the darkness. She enjoys the soft feel of Max's lips moving against hers, enjoys how much better Max has got at kissing her after learning what Victoria likes, what Max herself likes, after kissing her so much that the two can do it just as naturally as they can breathing.
They part, Max kisses her again, gently, and then they smile at one another.
Max is breathing heavily. "Fuck Fate, huh?" she says.
Victoria kisses her again. And this time, as she pulls away and her eyes flutter open, she sees a light in the distance. An unnatural light, of a man-made item.
A torch, actually, aimed directly at them, lighting them up to whoever is holding it.
"Hey!" the torch-owner says, angry and gruff.
Max whispers, frantically, pushing Victoria off of her and sitting up. "It's David!"
"Shit!"
"Hey, you two!" he says, the light drawing closer and closer as it bobs up and down. "Curfew's been in place for hours, what the hell are you doing out of bed?!"
The both of them shoot up, Max frantically grabbing at the blanket on the floor and wrapping it clumsily in her arms, before Victoria grabs her hand and the two start running.
"Get back here!" David yells after them, but they're too fast, too quick, and too happy to be caught by him.
They're laughing. Laughing so hard they can barely run, because although there's nothing particularly funny, they're together, and that makes everything more fun. The both of them are running straight back to the dorms, bumping arms and hips and legs along the way, laughing until they're out of breath, starving for it, but they don't stop until they're at the entrances to their rooms, leaning over and panting, hands digging into their hips. Max has one of her hands against the wall, using it for support.
"I think –" Max pants, still smiling. "Fate is tryna – tell us something."
"No – shit – " Victoria replies. "Fuck him."
Max looks at her. "Who?" she asks. "Fate? Or David?"
"Both."
Max laughs again, rubs at her sleepy eyes. Her gut hurts from laughter, she realises, and she is overcome with the overwhelming need to sleep.
"I could sleep, actually." She says.
Victoria nods, stands up straight and hits her back against her door. "Yeah. Do you want to sleep in my bed or yours?"
"Yours." Max replies. "Lemme just get changed –"
"Sure." Victoria says. "I suppose I'll, uh, see you there."
Max opens her door, looks back at her girlfriend, smiles. "You bet." She says. "Fate, apparently, demands it."
Victoria smiles at her. "For once, Maxine, I'm not going to argue."