Chapter Text
It was nine in the morning and Casey was enjoying some peace and quiet as Molly and Kai watched their cartoons and the older kids slept in. She took a sip of chamomile tea and let out a relaxed sigh.
Derek walked into the kitchen with a grimace.
“Your Dad just called, he wants to come to dinner next Saturday.”
“Next Saturday?” Casey groaned. “But we were going to take the kids out to Niagara Falls next Saturday!”
“I know. So are you going to tell him he shouldn't come?”
“No,” Casey said, “we should push back the trip. It's rare that he puts in the effort so this should be encouraged.”
“We don't have to see him if you don't want to.”
“No, I want to,” Casey said, in the world's least convincing display of sincerity. “Is he bringing wife number six?”
Derek grinned at her indulgently as he poured his cereal into a bowl. The way Casey's feelings of resentment towards her father had become more and more explicit over the years was never not funny to him.
“She has a name, Case. And I think one of the reasons your Dad's been a bit distant lately is because you didn't go to their wedding.”
“Oh, that was your fault. You told me not to!” Casey exclaimed.
“I didn't tell you not to. I said it was your choice.”
“Hmph. Should I have? His last marriage lasted all of a week.”
“Hey,” Derek said, putting his hands in the air to show he didn't want to fight her on this, “no judgement here.”
“And he married his secretary. Who does that? Other than sad men having whatever stage life crisis he's having now. Who romanticize and eroticize the idea of having a woman who can sort their life out for them.”
Derek smiled. “Do you have my to-do list for the day?” he asked.
Casey narrowed her eyes at him. “It's on the fridge, as usual.”
Then she stared at him a bit more in wary expectation of one of his Remarks.
He looked away from her as he twirled his spoon around in his cereal.
“... You know, I married one of my assistants,” he said casually.
“You did?!” Casey blurted, as she narrowly missed choking on her toast, “For real?”
“For visa. Made it easier for her to stay in the country... I should call her some time to see how she is – actually, I should probably check to see if I'm not still married to her. You know,” he said, with a wink, “for when I decide to marry luck wife number three.”
Casey wrinkled her nose at him. “How romantic... Are you sure that you're not related to my Dad?”
Derek looked back at his cereal. “You know... you didn't think I noticed but I did. You called your Dad's new wife his secretary . You've gotten a lot less feminist, Case.”
“It's sexist to assume that it would be anti-feminist to say that,” she replied. “Because your statement presumes that women are secretaries.”
Derek pointed his spoon at her. “The technical term is administrative assistant.”
She glared at him.
“You've gotten much less politically correct over the years,” he said with a smile. “I'm really very disappointed in you.”
“Fine. My Dad married his administrative assistant. I was being sexist and reductive and you are so much more enlightened than me,” she said scornfully.
“It's okay,” he said, in the baby voice he sometimes used to talk to small children, “I forgive you.”
“Well, in the spirit of forgiveness, can I ask a favor?”
“You can always ask,” Derek replied.
“... Whether you accept is another matter,” she said, with an eye-roll, “I'll take the rest of the sarcasm as read, thank you. But I was wondering if you could, ummm, hold down the fort in the evening tonight? As well as hold down the fort tomorrow morning too? That would be... great.”
“Oh,” said Derek, as comprehension dawned behind his eyes. “So you and – what's his name – Matthew?”
Casey shook her head as Derek raised his eye-brows suggestively at her.
“Will you just do it?” she implored.
“Nice.”
Derek attempted to give her a high-five. She frowned.
“Please don't try and high-five me,” she said.
“I'm just happy for you, you could use it.”
Casey quirked an eye-brow at him. “You mean the high-five?”
“Sure,” Derek replied.
Casey gave a put upon sigh, high-fived him and then turned around and left the kitchen.
“Are you aiming for an award from the Academy?” asked a voice.
Derek jumped and spilt cereal down the front of his shirt.
He then turned to see that the voice had not come from his internal monologue, but rather his half-brother, Simon. Who seemed to have magically apparated at the archway by the utility room.
“I think she bought it”, Simon said, “I almost bought it. So, what are you going to do to sabotage things with her and Matthew?”
“I'm not going to sabotage things with her and Matthew,” Derek said, as he sopped up the milk with a kitchen towel.
“You sabotaged things with her and Kwame -”
“- I just told her to prioritize the important things in her life. How was I to know Kwame wouldn't make the cut?”
“And her and Sebastian.”
“I just happened to be in the same room when they broke up,” Derek protested as he shrugged aggressively.
“And her and Pablo.”
“Okay,” Derek agreed before pointing at his little brother, “but that guy was a dick.”