Chapter Text
Craig sighed, running his hand over his face as he walked home with Tweek, hand in hand. The blond’s anxiety had been acting up today. They were expecting their admissions letters from the colleges they had applied to together soon.
Tweek was freaking out. He couldn’t get past the idea that every single school would reject and hate him.
“What if they don’t even read my essay? What if they get my application and put me on a blacklist? What if I can never apply to any school anywhere?” He had said, over and over again.
“Honey, everything will be okay,” Craig answered. “I know at least one school will want you and love you.”
Then after that, he had a panic attack about not knowing anyone at the college he attended.
Tweek gripped his hair, tears rolling down his face freely as he rocked back and forth. His chest heaved as he gasped for air, huddled into the corner of the boys’ bathroom. Craig sat beside him, hands on Tweek’s shoulders as he whispered reassurances.
“I’m gonna be alone,” he mumbled, “I’m not going to have anyone! Everyone’s going to leave me! I can’t do this!”
Craig moved closer, taking Tweek’s hands before he ripped out more of his hair. “That won’t happen. I won’t let you be alone. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to have so many friends there with you. Everything will be okay.”
Tweek jumped at him, pressing his face into Craig’s shoulder as he sobbed. Craig held him tightly, rubbing small circles against Tweek’s back as he shooed off a few boys who had stopped to see what was going on.
Then it was him and Craig picking different schools.
“Oh, god,” Tweek had practically shrieked at lunch. “What if we don’t get into the same schools? I can’t leave you - what will we do? How are we supposed to stay together?”
“Tweek,” Craig put his arm around the blond’s shoulders, “that won’t happen. Statistically, we should get into at least one of the same schools. We have similar applications.”
“But what if we don’t? What if they’re trying to break us up?”
“A… college admissions committee is trying to break us up?” He repeated.
“Yes! Why aren’t you taking this seriously? Everybody hates me! They want to ruin my life!”
Tweek was not adjusting well to the idea of change. It wasn’t helping Craig feel any better.
He had a really shitty day. Everything was irritating him, and his friends wouldn’t leave him alone, and with Tweek freaking out about every little thing, he could tell he was close to a full breakdown. He couldn’t say that, though, because Tweek was never rational when he got this way.
He would accuse Craig of saying that he was annoying, or that he hated him, or something stupid like that. He just couldn’t deal with Tweek’s attitude while trying to regulate himself.
They had been walking in silence, with the exception of Tweek’s tics and nervous sounds. He exhaled again. The one day he needed something to be peaceful was the day Tweek had to work himself up over everything.
“Do you think I can just drop you off at your house?” He asked, voice completely flat unintentionally. Craig had been forgetting to check his tone and his expressions today.
“Why?” Tweek already sounded stressed. “You don’t want to be around me?”
“No, honey,” Craig stared straight ahead, hand burning as if Tweek’s skin against his were pure fire. He fought the urge to pull away. “I’m just tired.”
Tweek didn’t answer.
The boys continued on in the quiet again. Tweek was completely silent for once. Craig knew that was never a good thing, and looked over to examine Tweek’s face.
His mouth was pressed into a tight line, cheeks flushed and blinking rapidly. He stopped moving.
“Are you about to cry?”
Tweek shook his head.
Craig felt anger burning in his chest. He couldn’t handle this right now.
“Alright.”
He had to admit, the quiet was nice. He definitely needed it. The farther they got, the more tense Tweek became.
“Why don’t you care about me anymore?”
Craig rolled his eyes. “Of course I care about you.”
Tweek scoffed, “But you’ll stand there and do nothing while I’m on the verge of tears.”
“Honey,” Craig pinched the bridge of his nose, “think about it logically. I gave you a reason why I want to go home. You are choosing to take it personally now. I didn’t make you react that way.”
“Just because you gave me a reason doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.”
“You’re right. You do have feelings. Lots and lots of feelings.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means you’re emotional, Tweek,” Craig raised his arms in an I don’t know what to tell you gesture. “You’re sensitive. You take things personally when there is no reason to make them personal.”
Tweek was stunned momentarily. The look quickly melted into anger. “Oh, and you’re so high and mighty? Like you don’t ever get emotional. Being logical doesn’t make you better than everyone. You are not better than me, Craig.”
He felt the irritation flaring again. “Whatever, dude.”
“No, dude. Not whatever, dude,” Tweek frowned. “Why are you acting like this? You’ve been being a dick to me all week! Sorry I’m such an annoyance. I didn’t realize my personal feelings were affecting you so deeply.”
“At least I’m in control of my emotions.”
Tweek looked like he had just been punched in the face. “Excuse me?”
Craig knew he should stop talking, but he couldn’t help himself. “I said at least I can control myself. I don’t react like the world is fucking ending when someone hands me a green marker instead of a blue one.”
“I fucking knew it,” he declared, pointing an accusatory finger at Craig. “My feelings freak you out. You hate that I’m emotional.”
“What do you want me to say, man?” Craig pulled his hand away from Tweek. “Yes, I hate when you freak out over the most insignificant things. Why can’t you just be fucking rational once in a while?”
Tweek went red. He froze on the spot, glaring up at Craig in embarrassment. “Fuck you, dude,” he spat, turning and stomping ahead.
Craig rolled his eyes, “Tweek-”
“Stay away from me.”
“Fucking shit,” Craig hissed, pulling off his hat and throwing it at the ground as hard as he could. Whatever. If Tweek wanted to be a baby, he could be a baby.
He would just wait until the blond was ready to be sensible again.
—----
Tweek hadn’t spoken to him for two full weeks. Craig was starting to worry.
He saw him at school in the hallways and at lunch, but Tweek flat out refused to talk to him. He wouldn’t even look Craig in the eye. Some of their friends were starting to tell him to just apologize so they could move past it.
“Come on, dude,” Tolkien said at lunch one day, “is being right worth losing your boyfriend?” Craig huffed.
“It’s not about being right. He’s being ridiculous. If he would just listen to me, we could get over it.”
“Sounds like it’s about being right to me,” Clyde shrugged.
Craig didn’t answer him. He ate his lunch in silence, mostly thinking about Tweek. Maybe what he said was harsh, but it needed to be said. Tweek couldn’t live his whole life caring about every tiny thing. That wasn’t healthy.
Maybe it also wasn’t healthy to try to police your boyfriend’s behavior, though. He pulled out his phone, opening his most recent message thread.
”Tweek, I’m sorry. Let’s talk. Please.”
Instantly, Tweek read the message, but he didn’t reply. Craig sighed. His phone dinged a few minutes later.
”Come over after school.”
Craig smiled, then forced his face to stop, and continued his lunch. They would work this out. He could explain to Tweek why he was being irrational and then everything would be fine again.
That afternoon, Craig headed out to meet up with Tweek. He knocked a few times, listening to footsteps before his dad opened the door.
“Hello, Craig,” Mr. Tweak always talked to him like he was still a 10-year-old boy with a crush on his son.
“Is Tweek home?” Craig knew the answer.
“He’s in his room,” he replied. “I’ll warn you, though; he’s been pretty down lately.”
Oh, God.
Craig walked up the stairs and to Tweek’s door. He knocked again, and heard a muffled “Agh!” before the door opened.
“Oh. It’s you.”
Craig took a deep breath. “Tweek, I’m sorry. I was overwhelmed. I shouldn't have been so mean to you.”
“Yeah,” he frowned, “you shouldn’t have.”
“I just want to make it up with you,” he said, reaching for Tweek’s hand. The blond allowed him, and he took it as a good sign.
“You’ve been acting like a real jerk lately, you know.”
Craig didn’t respond to that. “How can I make you not mad anymore?”
“I don’t know, dude,” Tweek shifted his feet. “Stop being a dick and we’ll start there.”
“Deal,” he smiled, squeezing Tweek’s hand gently. The blond sighed, shuffling closer to Craig and resting his head on his boyfriend’s chest. Craig wrapped his arms around Tweek and held him close.
“I’m sorry, too,” Tweek muttered. “I should have… put more consideration into how I was upsetting you.”
Craig nodded against Tweek’s head. “Thank you. Do you see how much easier it is to talk when we’re reasonable about things?”
Tweek pulled away slightly. “What?”
“I’m just saying, since we’re able to talk calmly and rationally, everything got worked out much faster.”
“Say you’re joking right now.”
Craig was confused. “Why would I be joking?”
“Okay,” Tweek nodded. “Get out.”
“What?”
“Get out of my house.”
“Tweek,” Craig frowned, “come on, dude…”
Tweek pushed away from Craig. “No! You don’t get to ‘come on dude’ me! You didn’t come here to make up, you came to prove you were right! This was never about us, this was about you and your fucking ego! I’m done! I can’t - I can’t do this anymore.”
Craig was shocked. “Tweek, I-”
“Just stop!” Tweek walked toward his desk, his hands grabbing at his hair. “Leave, Craig.”
“Please, let’s just-”
“What did you not understand?!” Tweek shouted, whirling around. “We are done. Get the fuck away from me.”
Craig reached out, his legs feeling like cement. He stood there for a minute, then huffed. “Well, fine. I don’t need you. I don’t need all your shit bringing me down.”
“Fuck you, dude.”
He flipped Tweek off, storming back down the hall. He heard the door to Tweek’s room slam, and he stomped downstairs. Tweek’s parents were standing by the bottom, clearly having listened to what just occurred.
Mr. Tweak looked sympathetic. “Craig…”
He ignored them both, walking out the front door and down the street.
As soon as he reached the corner of the block, Craig felt his knees give out beneath him. He fell onto the sidewalk, chest hollow and cold. He gripped at his jacket, suffocating in the dry air.
We are done.
He had lost Tweek. He lost Tweek, and then flipped him the bird. Craig didn’t like the way his body was aching. He felt like he was going to explode. Instead, tears jumped into his eyes. He sat there, alone, hot tears streaming down his face in a never ending flood.
He felt numb. He never thought this much empty ache was possible.
What could he do now? There was nothing. He just… had to live without Tweek? Without his first love? His Tweek?
A sob tore at his throat. Not his Tweek anymore. This pain was asphyxiating. Craig couldn’t breathe.
Why had he left? Why did he walk out that way? He should’ve stayed, fought, but most of all, he should’ve listened. He knew now that nothing else mattered.
Tolkien was right.
Hindsight is 20/20, he supposed.
Craig pulled himself off of the sidewalk and continued on at a shuffle. A world without a Tweek.
What kind of world was that?