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George spent a decade in London living life on American time. He was so young when he started to dream of what it would be like to just finally be in sync with the rest of his world, to not feel like he was always lagging behind all his friends.
Now, he goes to bed at 8:30. He has breakfast in their backyard, on the patio, where the sun will shine on his food. But most importantly, he wakes up to Dream, alive and real and just across the hallway.
It’s a little funny how different life is now. If you had told the George that was flunking all his classes that in 10 years he would be in Florida of all places, he would’ve laughed in your face. Now, half a decade of living together, he can’t think of any other place he would call home.
At least, not anywhere without Dream.
He can flip the world upside down, pull it inside out, hollow out the core and leave the very ground he stands on, but the truth is Dream has always been the center of it all.
When they first met, Dream was this magnetic kid with big dreams and an even bigger heart. He was courage and eagerness condensed into a person. He was a list of love, crossing out items each time he talked. It seemed like he was the brightest thing to George, even an ocean away.
George regrets all his years of apathy. When his skin would itch with the love that seeps from Dream’s voice and he’d scoff and roll his eyes like he was better than all of that; better than being loved. Like an audience to witness his love had somehow diminished it, made it dirty.
It gets easier as time moves on. Easier to accept that this is his life now– that it won’t go away if he stops looking at it for a little bit.
Even when it changes.
“I think I wanna find my own place,” Sapnap tells them.
They’re all just sitting in the living room, watching a movie, when he blurts this out.
“And before you guys say anything, we’re all good.”
George waits for Dream to respond. It’s a hard thing to shake, feeling like he’s intruding into their moments, especially the big ones. He doesn’t resent them for it, not the way he used to across the world and 10 years ago.
“Okay,” Dream starts. He sounds detached, far-away like he’s watching this from outside of his own body. “Can we ask why?” I mean, I know we said 5 years but, c’mon, it’s not like there’s a time limit on this house.”
Sapnap sighs. He’s older now, he keeps his hair shorter, wears lighter colors. Sometimes, when he smiles, George teases him about having crows feet. He doesn’t but George likes to see the indignation on his face.
“I know, I know. But this can’t be forever, at least not for me,” he says, tossing George a glace. It’s gone as quick as it came. “I want my own place, you know?”
“This is your place.” He should probably school his voice better but he can’t help the fear that comes out with it.
“Look, I’m not trying to start a fight–”
“–No one’s fighting,” Dream interjects.
“I know. I’m just saying.” he looks down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers. Suddenly he looks exactly like he did 5 years ago. “I’m 26 now. I’m the same age George was when he moved here. And, I don’t know, I feel like my entire life has been just this , you know? I wanna feel like I’m settling down, maybe get married if I find someone. Just, I don’t know. I want to make big life decisions, like George did.”
George feels his throat constrict. He can see the need for approval all over Sapnaap’s face. The need for both of them to tell him it’s a good idea, that they trust him to do what’s right for himself.
“Okay,” George tells him. Dream looks at him in surprise. He probably wants to talk more about this but George can tell Sapnap has been thinking about this for a while, maybe for even longer. “We’ll help you look for a new place. But if you’re moving out because of some stupid reason like, thinking we hate you or something I’ll kill you.”
Sapnap laughs wetly. He tries to duck so his best friends don’t see the tears welling up on his eyes but he looks up to them already crying. Dream’s lip wobbles, the way it always does when he’s sad but doesn’t want to show it.
“I’m happy for you, man,” he says but his voice shakes and his lips are downturned like a kicked puppy. “Don’t forget us.”
Sapnap punches his shoulder in jest, “Don’t be an idiot. I’m probably moving to the house three blocks over.”
“The one with all the fucking windows!” George exclaims. “You idiot, why didn’t you start with that? I thought you were, like, moving back to Texas or stupid L.A.”
“I didn’t think you guys would freak out on me like this! Whatever. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
“Well, good,” Dream says. For the rest of the movie, no one else mentions it. But Dream does move closer to Sapnap and George keeps all his snippy comments to himself because he knows Sapnap likes this movie.
For the next few weeks, Sapnap starts packing up his things in boxes.
Their home starts feeling like it’s being hollowed out, barren in places that used to house so much. Sapnap talks about buying furniture. He’s looking at tables and sofas and things he can fill his new home with.
George feels like maybe he should start looking too. He doesn’t know if he’s allowed to stay with Dream and he’s too scared to ask him about the future. He feels 23 all over again, scared for what tomorrow brings and without a plan.
Dream walks around the house like a ghost. He’s quieter now, less lively. He tells him he’s busy but it feels like so much more than that.
The day Sapnap moves out is hectic. They spend half the day driving from one house to the other bringing boxes and whatever else. The rest of his things are going to be delivered within the week.
Dream keeps looking over at him, like he’s scared he’ll disappear if his eyes don’t stay glued to him.
His house is a little bare, a little too bright, but it feels like Sapnap. The kitchen is big and there are shelves lining the walls in his bedroom. It’s smaller than the Dream Team house but it looks like it’s just waiting to be lived in. He can see it already, Sapnap a little down the line, already having memorized the layout of the house. There’s space for one more person, another heart to be living within these walls. A pet too, one that would enjoy the raised patio and the open backyard.
Dream hugs him extra tight before they leave. George tries not to cry because Sapnap is only a few blocks away and he’s 31 years old for fucks sake. But this is his little brother, leaving and living for himself now. They’ll never become strangers but there’s this fear that lingers in him because who else will wake him up in the middle of the night because he was bored and couldn’t go to sleep? Who else will split a bowl of cereal with him when they’re too lazy to cook a meal? Who else is there to tease him and taunt him until they’ve both said things they regret?
George will miss living with Sapnap, even if he’ll never admit it.
Home looks the same when they get back. It makes George a little guilty for thinking it. It doesn’t feel less like home, but it does feel quieter.
“I’m ordering us pizza tonight,” Dream tells him. George knows that means he’s looking for comfort.
They sit on the kitchen island eating before George breaches the silence.
“Do you ever think about the future?” he asks him.
“‘Course I do, George. You know how many projects I have lined up.”
“I mean past this– after this, you know? Like, life outside of being Dream . I don’t know, don’t you want kids?”
“I mean, I think I’d like kids. I don’t know if now is a good idea though.”
George’s lungs rattle in his chest. “I want kids,” he admits.
“You do?”
“Not now, someday though. You sound surprised.”
“You just never talk about that,” he shrugs.
“I don’t know. Sapnap moving out got me thinking.”
“Yeah?”
“About settling down and stuff. Do you think we’re too old for this?”
It’s a loaded question. Dream furrows his eyebrows and George takes a moment to appreciate the lines around his eyes, years of smiling and laughing carving their way onto his face.
“I feel settled down.”
The part of George, leftover from London, cheers at this. The possibility of forever with Dream. But he’s long let that part of him go. Let go of any part of him that still wished something would happen between them. Because 5 years of living together is a long time, a decade of knowing him– even longer. He’s watched Dream smile at other people the way he used to do with him when he first got here. That same devoted look on his face directed at some stranger. He’s seen him leave the house in his best clothes and his nicest perfume. He hasn't been loveless this entire time.
If Dream wanted him then he would’ve done something by now.
“What if you want to get married? Where would you go?”
“Where else would I go?” Dream counters.
“Well, I don’t think your future partner would appreciate some random guy living with you two.”
“But you aren’t just some random guy. You’re George. Besides, I don't understand the point of this conversation. I’m not getting married, you aren’t getting married. What’s the rush?”
And that’s the crux of it all. Because if they aren’t moving on and starting a family, then George can just stay here forever. But then what reason does he have to justify staying? They aren’t getting married. They aren’t even together. With Sapnap out of the house it’s starting to feel like George needs to make a decision, and quickly, before Dream makes it for him.
“Don’t you think it’s kinda weird?” George asks. “That we still live together? Even with Sapnap gone?”
“No,” Dream shakes his head truthfully. “I mean, do you think it’s weird?”
“I don’t know. Not really, I guess. Just have to get used to it.”
Dream nods at that. “Yeah, we don’t have to think of the future yet. Just stay.”
George remembers every other time Dream had asked him that. To just exist and do nothing and stay by his side. If he wants to get technical, all of this started because Dream asked him to stay. To be with him as he skyrockets their life to the skies.
Staying has always been the easiest choice of George’s life.
They take it one day at a time.
Dream’s been getting a kick out of redecorating the house. He replaces some tables, rugs, furniture, and whatnot. George wants to support him so whenever he’s out he’ll buy trinkets and house decor that catches his eye. Dream always smiles when he shows it to him, placing it in areas to keep it visible. On the table in the living room is a fairly large glass elephant figurine that George saw one day. On the walls are framed pictures, some of them George had taken himself. A picture of them celebrating Christmas with Dream’s family that very first year lives in a picture frame he bought because he thought it was funny. It’s a janky plastic frame with Disney princesses designing it.
They turn Sapnap’s room into a guest room. Even though he doesn’t live with them anymore it won’t change the fact that he’ll always have a place in their home. The emptier spaces start to fill with random memorabilia that they collect over time. They turn Sapnap’s streaming room into an office space of sorts. George takes his zoom call meetings there and Dream uses it for when he gets the urge to write. Sometimes, when they both need to film something together, they do it there.
Life goes on.
They don’t travel nearly as much as they used to when they first started living together. They still see Sapnap most days but lately, he’s been doing his own thing, traveling a lot more with NRG and other collaborations.
When the holidays come around, their friends still come over to celebrate with them. It’s not until Christmas that people start to take notice of the changes.
Hannah looks around with a sort of awestruck look on her face. “You guys really went all out with the decor, huh?” she tells George when they’re left alone in the kitchen while everyone else does whatever else.
“Yeah, Dream wanted to change some stuff up.”
“It’s nice,” she comments.
George scoffs because he knows how the house looks. There’s less cohesion all around, pieces bought separately and mixed and matched around. It’s not ugly but it certainly isn’t worthy of Architectural Digest.
“No, I’m serious!” she laughs. “It really feels like both of you. I actually like it.”
“Sure,” he says. He believes her, but even now he can’t shake the urge to get a rise out of her. Hannah reminds him too much of his older sister, still living in London with her own family now. Maybe that’s why.
“You’re such an asshole, George. Why don’t you believe me? Your place is nice!”
“Fine, I believe you. Are you happy?”
“Yes, actually,” she smiles, self-satisfied. “Are you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, like, living with Dream.”
It feels like a lifetime ago when she had pulled out the truth from George. Back when they were both just planning to move to Florida, she somehow wormed her way into his brain and poked and prodded until George gave up and told her that yes, I like Dream. But that means nothing.
“It’s the same. I’ve been living with him for years.”
“George,” she looks at him.
Maybe it’s the holiday spirit or maybe it’s the fact that they’re older now, way different from when she had first asked, but he feels himself opening up.
“Fine, it’s still the same, I wasn’t lying about that.”
“But?”
“But it was confusing at first. Like, should I move out too? I don’t know. I feel like it’d be an imposition to stay. Like, what if he thinks he’s stuck with me or something.”
“He’d probably be happy then,” she teases.
“Come on, Hannah,” he sighs. “It’s been like, what a decade? And nothing. I haven’t thought about that in a long time.”
All she does is shrug in that way she does that tells George she doesn’t necessarily believe him. “If you say so.”
Hannah knows too much. She sees right through him and the lies he tells himself. Because truthfully George hasn’t stopped thinking about Dream and the possibility of them. He’s resigned himself to never having him in the way he wants but that doesn’t stop him from wishing. He thinks about it in the quiet moments, when the house is quiet and Dream even quieter. He thinks about it when they’re in the middle of a crowded party and he watches as Dream meets all these new people. He thinks is this the one? Is this the person to take him away from me? He thought about it when Sapnap moved out, when they first came home to a house with one less person. He thought about it last night. Thought about it just now.
Before he says anything else Dream walks in the room and tells them that everyone’s getting ready to stream. They decided to do a secret santa with all their friends. It’s just his luck that he got Dream as his exchange partner.
They gather in the living room, presents sitting on their laps. It takes them nearly an hour to get through most of it with everyone getting distracted by each gift and showing it off. Sapnap is sitting with them at the end of the sofa, meaning that they’ll be the last people to give their gifts. When it’s Sapnap’s turn and he tells everyone that his gift is for neither of them, Dream and George share a look.
On his lap sits a big box, one that’s definitely way over budget, wrapped in birthday themed gift wrap and a blue bow adorning the top of it. On Dream’s lap is a small pouch, velvet and expensive looking.
“Alright, Dream it’s your turn,” Sapnap claps his hands. Everyone in the room is staring right at them making George feel peeled open and bare.
“Okay, obviously I got George. You got me too right?” he asks him. George can’t do anything but nod.
“Right, so I got this a while ago, I was just gonna give it to you but I thought ‘hey, this would be perfect for the exchange gift!’ And– okay, just open it.” He hands the pouch over to George, a nervous smile playing on his lips.
George plays it off like it’s nothing, but his hands shake as he pulls the strings and his heart beats loudly in his ears. He sets Dream’s gift down on the floor, careful not to let it thud.
Inside the pouch is a key. It looks like a regular key, jagged at the blade and silver. Suddenly, his stomach sinks and it must show on his face because Dream launches off to explain.
“It’s a key. I’ll explain it later– off stream.”
“What? Did you buy me, like, a house or something?”
“George,” he chuckles. “Later, promise.”
It makes him nervous. A key. Is he getting kicked out? He pushes his worries aside when they all pester him to give Dream his gift.
He shoves the key into his back pocket for safekeeping and hands Dream the box. He’s reminded of their first Christmas together, when they had gotten each other a ton of gifts and spent an hour opening all of them.
Dream tries shaking it, listening in for what it could be. “What is this? It’s so heavy.”
“Dream, you idiot. Stop shaking it! You might break it.”
Dream laughs at him. “Wait, why am I kinda nervous?’
“Just open it.” George can already feel his skin prickling. He had picked this gift out just last week. He spent so long talking to the salesperson just to be sure he was getting the best possible model.
Dream tears open the gift and as much as George doesn’t want to see his reaction, he can’t peel his eyes away.
He’s staring at it in shock, eyes wide as he reads the text on the box.
“What is it?” Sapnap peeks over Dream’s shoulder to see it. “Dude! You got him a record player, oh my god. That’s kinda sick.”
Dream turns it over to show everyone else, pointing it at the camera. “It’s epic! I was planning on getting one.”
“The preamp and everything else is still coming in. It’s taking longer than I expected, but this one has bluetooth connection so you can use it already.”
Dream takes it out of the box to admire it. He places it on his lap and ducks his head to look at George. His hand, sitting in the space between them, touches the edge of his thigh.
“Thank you,” he says, much quieter than he’s been talking all night. “I don’t have any vinyls though.”
“Check under the sofa,” George tells him.
“What?”
“Dream,” George smiles, excited for him to see it. “Just check.”
He reaches down and pulls out a thin square, Dream’s own smiling face looking back at him. It’s a picture George took of him when they first went to London together. “What is this?”
“I found a place that makes vinyls with the songs you want. Look, they put the songs at the back.” George points to the text on the back of the cardboard.
He laughs when he sees it. At the top of the list of songs is Heat Waves. Despite it being such an old joke, it still makes both of them laugh. For all it’s worth, the song is essentially their song.
When they’ve wrapped up the stream and everyone’s in the kitchen eating, Dream and George slip away to Dream’s room.
“Dream, what did you get me?”
“Oh, yeah.” he pulls out his phone to show him pictures of a beautiful two bedroom flat. It’s bright and open, the windows open to a beautiful view of the city. “I know you’ve been thinking about moving and the future, and, you know. So I got a place in London.”
The words echo in his mind. “You got me a house.” George knows his voice shakes as he says it. He can feel the fear right in his bones.
“Well, it’s not a house. It’s an apartment. Or a flat– whatever. It’s nice, I got your mom to help.”
“Are you asking me to move out?”
“What? George– no. This is just for when we visit your family or if we wanna go there for whatever reason. It’s ours.”
“It’s ours?” George asks in a small voice.
“It’s fully furnished and everything, if that’s what you’re worried about. And we can always buy more things if we need it. I don’t know. I thought it would be good for us.”
George can’t think, can’t say anything. The key in his hand sits heavy against his skin. It’s so much more than a key. He can hear everything Dream isn’t saying, everything he wants George to know. They’ll be alright. There’s no rush. They can live in Florida or in London or in the middle of nowhere with the next town over being a million miles away. George doesn’t have to worry about overstaying his welcome around Dream and this key, their own place in the city that held him prisoner for years, this is proof of that.
Dream is giving him forever.
“George?” Dream asks. He can tell he’s nervous, years of studying him sinking in. “If you don’t like it we don’t have to. I just thought ”
George says nothing and leans into Dream, hand clutching the key as if his life depends on it. Dream’s hands immediately wrap around him, pulling him close to his chest.
“Are you crying?” Dream asks, concerned.
“Shut up, you idiot.”
“George.”
“You bought us a place in London.”
Dream buries his face into George’s hair. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot. You risked a lot moving here, huh?”
“Dream, you know it’s not like that.”
“I know, I know. It just seems so unfair, especially when you mentioned settling down. We spent so long apart before you moved here. I just wanted to give us a chance to have what us five years ago couldn’t. I’m sorry it took so long.”
The delicate lining of George’s heart tears at his words. He would never blame Dream for the distance but they both know he’s right. It did take too long for them to finally meet. Even now, with 5 years of living together under their belt, the time they spent apart still outweighs that. It’s too long.
“It’ll never be like that again,” George states.
“Never again,” Dream agrees. “You could move to the moon and I’ll build my own rocket to follow you.”
It’s a silly thought but George knows what he means. Dream would follow him wherever he goes just to be close to him. The same way George followed Dream all those years ago.
“Do you promise?” George asks.
“Promise. You can’t get rid of me, George. Forever and ever.”
“You know, we kinda did it all backwards,” George muses.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I saw your face years after I met you, I moved in with you within a day of being with you in real life, and now you bought us a place together and we aren’t even dating. People usually date before they do what we do.”
George feels the small laugh Dream makes more than he hears it. “Well, it worked out for us, didn't it? Besides,” he shrugs. “We could still date.”
“Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”
“I don’t know, am I?”
George leans away to look Dream in the eyes. He cradles his face in his hands, squishing his cheeks into an overexaggerated pout.
“You want me to be your boyyyfriend, ” George teases in a sing-song voice.
“Shut up you stupid idiot. I saw the songs you put on that record. You literally love me so bad.”
George leans in to kiss him, like he’s done this a billion times before and not as if this is the first time their lips will touch. They’re both smiling into the kiss, Dream’s arms around his waist so tight, like he’s afraid to let go.
“I do,” George confesses.
“You marrying me, George?”
George moves to kissing along his jaw. “Ask me first.”
It’s been five years since they first got this place and it shows. Along the walls are pictures of them through the years. Some with friends, some with family, but most of them just the two of them. It’s them in Paris, the second time they went. It’s them in Boracay when they went on vacation with Sapnap’s family. Them in their Florida house, Patches asleep on Dream’s lap and their dog Juno on George’s lap the day they first got her. Them all over the world, together.
The Christmas decorations are still up even if they’re nearing the last sunset of January.
Dream had asked him to marry him after a month of dating. And even though George teased him about moving too fast– 12 years and 1 month too fast– he said yes.
Sometimes it feels like they’ve only just met, but other days it feels like George has been with him since he was born. Seems like 20 seconds or 20 years.
Life goes on.