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He was afraid after the Tardis disappeared and she pulled back to watch it fade from their world forever, that she’d be furious at him— reject the hand that reached for hers. To his great relief, she didn’t. She gripped his fingers back tightly and looked up at his face.
Her expression was somber, searching, but also open. Despite the fear that he’d spook her, he couldn’t fight off the impulse— the instinct— to pull her close. She didn’t fight him— even if she was stiff from shock.
“I’m gonna get Pete on the phone, see if he can get us a ride into town,” Jackie said, waving a hand at them as she turned away to make the call. He was surprised she wasn’t coming right over to comfort her daughter, but he supposed that’s what she was leaving him to do.
The tension in her body broke. Her hands, that had been awkwardly sandwiched between their bodies, turned to lay flat against his chest and she let her head fall against him. He pulled her against him tighter and dropped a kiss to the top of her head.
The silence was as comfortable as it could get given the circumstances. They didn’t have to say anything. Not that he’d have a clue what to say to her right now.
After a few minutes Jackie came walking towards them, cellphone still in hand.
“Pete’s got a car coming to pick us up. Apparently it’s too late for a flight so we’ll have to stay somewhere in town for tonight.”
The Doctor nodded, but Jackie wasn’t looking at him. Rose turned her head at her words. He could see the sympathy on Jackie’s face, but also something else. She made eye contact with her daughter for the first time since her life changed forever. Relief? She fully expected to lose her daughter to him today but instead she got them both staying in her world.
“Well let’s start walking, shall we? The car should pick us up a little over there,” she gestured vaguely. Rose pulled away from him, making his heart shatter just a little at the loss of contact. She grabbed his hand up and they followed behind her mother. They’d covered a rather short distance by the time the car pulled onto the beach.
Jackie beelined for the black vehicle, opening the door to the backseat and scooting to the far seat, already talking animatedly to the foreign driver that didn’t seem to understand a word she was saying. Rose joined her and the Doctor followed Rose, pulling the door shut behind them.
The car was rather small, which meant they were all thigh to thigh. As the car started to move, to take them away from their second traumatic experience on this Norwegian beach, the movement pushed Rose into him, making him shiver at the unexpected contact. He didn’t know if it was this new part-human body making him so easily affected by her mere existence, or if it was simply because he had missed her so much in their time apart. Or if it was because of all the possibilities this new life here provided for them to go further than they ever had before. All his boundaries he had forced up when it came to her had just gotten shot to hell. Not that he was complaining.
It only took a handful of minutes for them to reach the nearest town. It was tiny, with a modest little motel being the only place for out-of-towners to stay.
The car pulled them up to the door. The Doctor climbed out with Rose as Jackie tossed some bills at the driver. Once Jackie walked around to them, the three made their way to the entrance. The Doctor absentmindedly walked a few steps ahead to open and hold the door. He quickly came to regret his valiant gentlemanly effort when it meant he had to let go of Rose’s hand as her and Jackie walked in front of him.
Jackie immediately started trying to communicate with the girl sitting behind the front desk, loudly and animatedly, until the trio’s only polyglot stepped in.
“Hei! Vi håper du kanskje har noen ledige rom for i kveld,” he said, asking about rooms. The young girl immediately relaxed, having been overwhelmed by Jackie being well, Jackie. She told him they were almost full but should have enough room for them. She proceeded to ask how many rooms they’d like. That made him stall. Two if he was being honest on what he’d like but he knew he couldn’t be presumptuous. Not that she’d know what he was saying. Still, he asked for three. But lucky or unlucky, they only had a pair of bedrooms left.
“Takk,” he said, nodding to the woman for her help. Before he could even ask, Jackie was holding out her credit card for the receptionist.
As the payment was being run, the girl handed two sets of keys taken from her desk to the Doctor. He watched Rose’s eyes drift to the keys before he had even had the chance to explain the situation to her or to Jackie. That he wasn’t trying to be forward. Or fresh as Rose would put it. He had to make it clear that he didn’t expect anything from her. He looked back and forth from his hand to her, his mouth opening and shutting. If Jackie noticed they were a key short before he got his usual nonstop gob to function properly, he would surely be on the receiving end of another motherly slap.
“There were only two rooms left! The place is completely full. Or I would have gotten us three. I asked for three! I did! You can ask her,” he pointed to the receptionist, then quickly redirected his hand to the back of his neck. “Or well I guess you can’t, but really, really, I did.” His face was on fire. He finally braved a look somewhere other than the wall opposite where he stood.
Rose was staring at him, a smile ghosting her lips like she was trying to keep it hidden. It took him back another day, what felt like a lifetime ago, which for him technically it sort of was, when he once again stood in front of her, trying his hardest to make her believe him, to see him, to not leave him. Is that a smile?
“Sweetie, relax, you’re gonna wake the whole place up,” Jackie said, despite the fact that the sun had just started to go down as they pulled in the parking lot. “Rose has been waiting to get you all to herself for three bloody years. Don’t think I could keep her away from you if I tried. Which I won’t. Gave up on that a long time ago,” Jackie grabbed one of the keys and pocketed it. Rose’s cheeks tinged. Somehow it made her look even more beautiful.
He met her eye. He still wanted to hear confirmation from her that it was okay. She could always share with Jackie.
Seeming to realize he was looking to her for approval she nodded with a hint of a smile that seemed to be intended to assure him. He mirrored her action as Jackie turned towards her daughter.
“Please get some sleep. You need it,” she said patting Rose on the cheek. She turned to him. “Don’t keep her up all night, alright?” Rose and the Doctor both blushed further— if that was even humanly (or half-humanly) possible.
“ Mum, ” Rose whispered as if to tell her mother to behave. Jackie let out a small chuckle, pulling her daughter in for a hug.
“Yes, I am your mum. And I could have lost you forever today. That gives me the right to embarrass you a little.”
“‘Love you, mum,” Rose said, squeezing her mother back with an equal vigor.
“And I love you. Now I’m gonna go find my room, have a nice little chat with your brother before he goes to sleep, and then I’m gonna do the same. Make sure himself don’t burn the place down or make anything explode while I’m out.” She pulled back and smiled.
“Hey! I take great offense to that, frankly, very inaccurate accusation that I would do any such thing,” he whined.
Jackie simply patted his arm and walked away towards one of the two halls leading from the lobby.
Once she was out of sight the pair looked at each other. Rose gave him a sweet, timid smile. It made his heart melt.
“If you want to bunk with Jackie I understand, you know,” he said, not wanting to overwhelm her any further tonight and make sure she understood she had all the power here. That it was her decision. Not that it had been earlier when it really counted of course.
“I don’t want that. I mean… unless you do?” She chanced a look at him after finishing her sentence.
“No, I certainly don’t want to bunk with Jackie,” he deadpanned before making a face. That brought a surprised laugh out of her, accompanied by an eye roll. The sound made his new singular heart feel just a bit lighter.
“Come on then,” she said, gesturing to the key in his hand and stepping closer. “Which hall are we in?”
“Umm…” he looked back and forth from the doorways. He wasn’t sure; they’d need to go down both looking for the number he supposed.
Her hand came up to cup his. He raised his empty hand to lay on top hers to properly hold her hand with both of his with a little smile. She matched the expression, with a hint of amusement added in. She raised her other hand to place on top of his like a slow, affectionate childhood game of hand stack. She squeezed their pile of appendages.
“I was going to look at the room number,” she explained with a nod at their pile of hands, a glint back in her eyes.
“Oh, yes! Of course,” he removed his bottom hand with the key to hold it out to her, palm up.
She smirked at him and moved to pick it up. “Ah! 210, so it’s this way.” She pointed towards the doorway with a two at the top. He really should be clever enough to find a motel room without Rose’s assistance. For a man so smart, he was quite rubbish when it came to this regular, old human stuff. But he was ready and willing to learn all he could for her. He just hoped he’d be willing to teach him.
As they headed towards their room, a tension seemed to build, at least in the Doctor’s head. He wanted to reach out and hold her hand; he had been for the majority of the time since they’d left the beach so it shouldn’t be a big deal, but it was. He felt conscious of every small movement he made when it came to her right now. He was afraid with one wrong move she’d bolt.
He’d already given her enough reasons to want to in general, let alone in the last 24 hours. It was a miracle he couldn’t even begin to try to figure out that she was still walking beside him right now, had given him a smile, hadn’t started pummeling him the second the other him disappeared. The fact that she was about to share a room and possibly a bed with him? That was beyond any of his comprehension.
When they reached the door, Rose took to using the key she had held on to to let them inside. The room was nothing fancy, but good enough for a laydown. Laydown . His eyes flicked to the bed. It was smaller than he expected, something akin to a full bed. Certainly, big enough for the two of them but not big enough to give them any room to stretch out or leave space between their bodies. He gulped, choosing not to think about what that could mean and instead took to surveying the rest of the room.
A dresser sat on the opposite wall beside a door that he assumed was the bathroom. A few frames filled with cheap paintings littered the walls along with a small window. No other furniture. No chair or loveseat for him to offer to take. All that was left was the floor with its stained carpet. Or possibly the bathtub if there was one.
“I can sleep on the floor...” he offered, unable to manufacture any cheer into his voice while staring at the offensive surface.
“You would really do that?” Her face was suddenly chalked full of amusement. “As chivalrous and enthusiastic as that offer was, I’d rather you not catch something from the years of grim on that carpet from what could very possibly be murders.”
"If you insist,” he smiled, growing more comfortable around her every second she looked at him like that. “Any excuse to get me into bed,” he rallied back without a thought. He couldn’t help but fear he was pushing his luck with his comment. His eyes met her own again, equally as surprised at his words as he was. But his anxiety fell away when he saw a corner of her mouth quirk up as she took on the task of turning down the bed.
Suddenly feeling warm from her brief gaze and the small space he spoke. “I’m gonna...” he gestured toward the unexplored door on the opposite wall. She looked up at him and nodded at his movement as she started to shrug off her jacket.
“God, I could use a shower,” she said, looking longingly in the direction he was slowly backing towards. “Is it horrible to say I’m just too knackered to care tonight?”
“With everything you’ve been through in the last-,” he wasn’t even sure. Had she talked about how she had gotten back and what she’d been through with the other him after the regeneration? She must have. He really didn’t fancy providing her with more proof that he was different than his Time Lord counterpart, even if it was only through a little DNA and a few missing hours. He sighed at his thoughts. “Well, just rest. I’ll be back in just a minute.”
After that awkward display, he shut himself up in the bathroom before she could reply or he could look back at her. He wasn’t planning to shower either, now that he thought about it. As grateful as he was to have this time with her, all this time with her, he needed a minute to collect himself before crawling into bed with her while still all charged up like this. He could tell her he wasn’t tired, like he often wasn’t before but to be honest he wanted to lie down beside her. Even if his mind was too busy to get any rest, he didn’t want to leave her side.
He still had trouble believing he’d been blessed with this impossible opportunity. This was not the way his karmic retribution should have worked out. Which he guessed, in a way it hadn’t. Just as he gained a life with this woman he loved and lost life as he had known it, another him had lost her. He kept waiting for the ball to drop. To wake up out of a post-regeneration coma to find himself an even truer definition of a new man.
He let out a sigh and tried to relax. This was real. He could tell by the detail of his surroundings, from the warmth of each inch of Rose’s skin that he had gotten to touch. He turned on the sink and splashed his new skin with cold water. Drying his face, he took his first look at this new body. Looking into his own eyes, he saw that he truly was an exact replica of his last body, outwardly that was.
A few minutes later, exiting the loo, he could now also say that one more of his anatomic functions seemed to be working the same as before. As he came through the door, the first thing he noticed was Rose curled up under the covers, facing away from him. The second thing he noticed was the jeans abandoned next to the bed. He swallowed. He really shouldn’t feel this strongly over one little discarded piece of fabric. He was a Time Lord for Rassilon’s sake. But he was also human now, which was becoming more and more apparent. Of course, he had been attracted to her before. But never like this. He didn’t know if it was new human hormones or simply the fact that he no longer had to hold back what he let himself feel.
He tried to be as quiet as possible as he made his way towards the bed, stripping off his jacket and hanging it off his side of the headboard to match Rose’s leather slung over the other side. A matching set. If it wasn’t in a dingy motel where they didn’t have anything but the clothes on their backs, he’d dare to consider it domestic. Even that half-baked though caused a lump to form in the back of his throat.
Pushing down the emotion he softly lowered himself down on the bed, trying not to disturb her.
“I’m not asleep.” She said almost instantly, as if she could read his thoughts.
“Oh... okay. Well, goodnight, Rose,” he replied quietly, settling in next to her on his back.
“Goodnight, Doctor.” An awkward silence settled between them as they lay together, stiff and inches apart. He turned to face her body, trying to find a comfortable position. Just a breath between their bodies. He wanted to put an arm over her, pull her to him, but he was afraid. As afraid to scare her off as he was to lose her if he didn’t reach out and touch her.
Rose suddenly turned to her back to look him in the eye in the midst of his contemplation.
“You don’t have to sleep on top the blankets.” She glanced down at his body as she continued. “Un… unless you want to.”
Finding his own courage blossom at her insecure expression, he reached out to lift her chin up to look her in the eye.
“Rose, I want to go to sleep next to you every night for the rest of my life. Besides the nights you make me sleep on the couch.”
He retained his Time Lord vision. Despite the darkness, he could see Rose’s blush as she stared up at him as he wiggled under the covers and cozied up to her. She responded to his movements almost instinctively, scooting up against him as he settled an arm over her waist. She copied his movements by wrapping an arm around his middle and a bare leg over his. They fit together so comfortably.
“Did you feel like this… before? Or now since you can’t stay on the Tardis and you’re not a Time Lord exactly, do you think, ‘Well why not go with Rose? She’s not so bad and she loves me unconditionally. I’ll make the best of it.’”
“Rose,” he breathed. He reached out to take one of her hands in his. “It’s nothing like that. I want you more than... well anything. I have since I met you. Being here with you is better than any of the traveling or stars. If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t have let me— him leave. Believe me, I got the better end of the deal.” She looked at him with the same expression she wore as she felt his single heartbeat a few hours ago— hope mixed with apprehension.
“You were never this... forward before. Why now?”
“’Cause now I can be.”
“You could have before.”
“No, I couldn’t. The way I feel about you... that’s nothing new. And I knew how much losing you would... I found out how much losing you would hurt. And that wasn’t even you dying or some other more horrible fate. It was simply being without you, while you got on in a parallel universe with your mum and Mickey and your dad. Your dad! So, I knew, more than ever now, that if I got to keep you with me even a little bit longer, I’d give in. After missing you so much and regretting everything I didn’t do and didn’t say...” he broke from his rant to raise the hand of her's he’d been gripping up to his lips before continuing. “And that would make it so much worse. In the end. And there would come an end, when I’d lose you, for real this time. And if I’d given in and gave myself over to you in all the ways I hope you let me now, then what? Go on for hundreds of more years after you were long dead and gone? Can you imagine what that would do to me? You saw me after the Time War. Before you made me better. If I had to go through losing you like that, I’d be right back in that place. So maybe it was selfish. Maybe it hurt you, confused you. But if I got to hold you like I am right now every night and then lost that forever? It would break me. And that wouldn’t be good for anyone.”
She didn’t respond to his explanation, just buried her face in his chest and started drawing circles on his back.
“Why did you kiss me back there?” he asked, letting his own curiosities out. “Chose me?” She paused her movements at his voice. She didn’t look up as she answered, just stilled.
“It wasn’t just because you said you loved me. Or because I could tell you meant it. I already knew. It was the way you looked at me. When you pulled back, your eyes… they were so full of love and hope and completely… vulnerable. He’d… you before… you’d never looked at me like that. Were never able to fully let me in. But back there… you did.” He squeezed her to him.
“As much as I didn’t appreciate you making another decision for me,” she started, annoyance evident in her tone, “It didn’t matter. I already made my choice. Even before he– you, went ahead and made my decision for me there was no changing my mind up, I had already made it up.” He was so touched by her admission that he simply couldn’t bring himself to believe it.
“You don’t have to say that.” She pushed away from his embrace to make him look at her now.
“I didn’t jump through dimension after dimension for the Tardis or the traveling. I did it to be with you again. I got what I wanted.” The honesty in her gaze threatened to choke him up.
He rolled to his back and opened his arms to her. She rested her head on his chest, far enough up for him to drop a kiss to her forehead. She rested her hands up by her face, one gripping his maroon shirt that matched hers.
He’d shared beds with her all across their old universe. In cold, dusty cells and royal suites and everything in between. But never like this. Never clinging to each other like this with such desperation. Wrapped around each other like lovers.
They still had so much to talk about— to catch each other up on their experiences since being separated, there were fights to be had— he still had to tell her about what he knew happened to Donna.
But tonight wasn’t for any of that. They had found each other again. In an infinity of universes and time, she had come back to him. And in an even more wonderful and terrible and impossible twist of fate he had been given this one chance to live a life with her. Tomorrow and the next day and the day after that and every other day of the rest of their time together could fit all those hard and necessary conversations. There would be time to cross all the other boundaries he had previously put up between them, to redefine their relationship. There was no rush or time crunch. They had time. And tonight, they would spend it wrapped tightly in each other’s arms, simply grateful that they had this opportunity. That beyond all odds and reason and impossibility, Rose and her Doctor would get their forever.