Chapter Text
"What can I do for you three?” Barnes asked as the two Carlyle sisters and Norrie White entered his DEPRAC office.
“What, we can’t come and visit you just because?” Norrie played dumb, taking one of the seats in front of the desk while Lucy and Mary remained standing.
“You three never come to visit me,” Barnes rolled his eyes, setting down his pen onto the file he was working on. It was a thick one, one that often gave him many headaches.
“Maybe we are trying to make an effort,” Lucy batted her eyes as if that had ever worked before. “Is it wrong for a poor girl to want to visit her legal guardian?”
“I stopped being your legal guardian once you turned eighteen,” Barnes deadpanned, but there was no bite to his words.
“Is that why you still have a photo of the four of us on your desk?” Norrie pointed towards the frame in the right corner.
Barnes took a deep breath. He never regretted taking the three northern girls under his wing a few years ago, even going so far as to legally adopt the youngest of the bunch so that she could earn her level four certification and become a full fledge agent. Making sure they were safe as they set up their independent agency and continued to take on clients throughout the years was something he would do over and over again if needed.
But God, did they sometimes get on his last nerve.
“Spit it out, what do you three want?”
“Malburry Case,” Mary told him, the one that caused him the least amount of trouble. Maybe it was her maturity, or maybe it was her lack of talent and agent status, serving as the assistant for their agency.
“It’s still in the bidding process,” he rubbed a spot on his forehead. He already had his biggest pain in the asses coming in a few minutes, he didn’t need his second in those ranks riling him up beforehand.
“But you’ll put in a good word for us?” Lucy tried to bat her eyes again at him. He didn’t know why she thought that would ever work.
“I will send off my unbiased recommendations based on the criteria for the case.” And he would. Did he think they would be a good fit for the case? Yeah, but there were a few other agencies that he thought would also make good fits. “Why are you so invested in this job? It’s a mansion job, you don’t do many of those.”
“Oh Barnes, you know why,” Norrie laughed, and unfortunately he did. “Lucy’s feud with Lockwood has gotten so bad that they are trying to take jobs from each other.”
Of course. Despite being legal adults, Lucy and Lockwood seem to grow even more immature as the days go on. He had no idea what caused the two of them to be at each other's throats for the past three years, but he did know how much harder it seemed to make his job.
“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind while I make my recommendation,” he raised an eyebrow at his former ward whose eyes grew wide.
“Norrie!” she shrieked at her friend. “Shut it.”
“He already knew, didn’t you, Barnes,” Norrie smiled at him. He didn’t smile back but instead nodded his head. He needed them to leave.
“I just think this job would be a great way to expand our cas- wait is that Lockwood and Co’s file?” Lucy strained her neck, peaking at all the papers on his desk. He quickly shut the file with a loud boom, the folder already breaking with the number of papers in it.
“That’s confidential Miss Carlyle, you know that.”
“Ooooo,” Norrie and Mary both teased. “You got called Miss. Carlyle, you are in troubleeeee,” Norrie finished.
“If you three are done being nuisances, I have a meeting,” he stood, ready to escort them out of his office.
“Heard they scorched a field last night,” Lucy smirked. “Mr. Montanto chucked a flare instead of a salt bomb by accident.”
“Montanto?” Mary asked. “What the hell is that?”
Lucy looked around the room, annoyed that no one seemed to get her joke. Barnes had, but he wasn’t about the engage in her petty name-calling. “Montanto? It’s a fencing move. Means upward thrust? Do you guys really not know that? God, why do I always have to explain my jokes to you all.”
“Most of us don’t research random fencing moves, Luce,” Mary reminded her and Barnes had to wonder where Lucy had learned that for.
“Maybe if you have to explain your jokes every time, they are probably aren’t funny,” Norrie teased.
“Hey, maybe my humor is just above both of you,” Lucy defended.
“And why are you calling him an upward thrust? Do you mean it in a sexu-”
“Alright, ladies that’s enough!” His voice boomed through his office. “Out!”
He heard a chorus of yes sirs and may have heard Lucy mumble a yes dad in there that he chose to ignore. He knew she was being a little shit.
***
Kipps was exhausted.
He had been up until dawn dealing with multiple officials and a disgruntled Lockwood, who had set an entire field on fire with a magnesium flare. His new boss (which still made him cringe) had run out of salt bombs, but when a cold maiden was inches away from touching George, Lockwood had acted fast, chucking the flare at it. In the end, they found the source and everyone came away mostly unscathed. The bad news was, they had caused a lot of damage.
And now they had to face Barnes.
Which was enough of a punishment as is.
“Oh, if it isn’t Miss Carly,” Lockwood called out, referring to the latest way that True Hauntings had printed Lucy’s name.
He lied, this was more of a punishment.
“Mr. Montanto,” Lucy crossed her arms. Kipp’s rolled his eyes, figuring he would be the only one who would understand that reference outside of the two exasperating enemies.
But both Norrie and Mary were shaking their heads at Lucy. She probably practices her insults with them. Lockwood did the same.
Anyways, speaking of Mary. “Hey,” he headed over to her, attaching himself to her side.
“Hi,” she looked up at him, beaming. He gave her a small kiss on the top of her forehead, quickly to not grab too much attention. Unlike her younger sister, Mary didn’t like too much attention in public, including affection from her boyfriend.
Yes, her boyfriend. Kipps never thought he would be the annoying guy who constantly went around talking about his girlfriend to anyone who would listen, but he was always finding every excuse to mention her. He’d always figured that would be more of Lockwood’s style - as if he ever looked at any girl that wasn’t the one currently trading insults.
Kipps and Mary had been dating for eighteen months by the time that he defected from Fittes to Lockwood & Co. Lockwood claimed that he didn’t want to hire him because of his current allegiance to the Carlyle girls. Kipps still didn’t know if the boy was serious or not.
“So, is Barnes going to send you to a basic level one class? Need a refresher on the difference between a magnesium flare and a salt bomb,” Lucy snarked, breaking Kipps out of his Mary daze.
“I know the difference, but DEPRAC offering a refresher course isn’t a bad idea. I don’t know what they teach you up north, but I’m sure they could teach you how to stay in an iron circle,” Lockwood shot back, referring to an incident a few weeks ago where Lucy had stepped out of the chains for a long time and just about got ghost locked, spending multiple days in the infirmary. Even Mary had been pretty tight-lipped to him about what had happened.
“Maybe they could teach you how not to set things on fire. First a house and now a field. Everyone better watch out before you set a whole street corner up in flames.” Lucy took a step forward.
Lockwood matched her. “They could teach you how to not almost drown yourself in a bath on an active case. How the hell did you even do that?”
He must have struck a nerve because Lucy’s face dropped for a split second. “Maybe they could teach you to not be such a fucking cunt.”
“Alright, that’s enough,” Barnes appeared in the doorway, “Lockwood & Co, my office. Ladies, get lost.”
The two quarrelers broke apart, shaking their heads. Holly, George, and Lockwood started heading for the office but Kipps hung back for a moment. “Wait for me?” He asked his girlfriend.
Mary looked over at Norrie and her sister. Both girls sighed but then nodded their heads, indicating that they would wait with her. Kipps gave her another quick kiss, this time on her cheek, and headed towards Barnes's office, feeling a little better than he did a few minutes ago.
Kipps had no idea how the hell the rivalry between Lockwood and Lucy started. He had his own arguments with Lockwood through the years, enough that he felt a little jealous when Lockwood’s efforts started focusing on a new opponent.
He liked Lucy though, even before he started dating her sister. They had the whole ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’ thing going on, and he liked seeing Lockwood getting knocked down a few pegs by someone else.
Once he started dating Mary, his relationship with Lucy really took on a sibling dynamic. She was always bickering with him, but it was nothing on the level she did with Lockwood, and she even started coming to him with things that she didn’t want to talk to her sister or best friend about.
Made him feel useful. Which was really helpful with his fading talents and dependency on the stupid-looking ghost goggles.
He was hoping to make the dynamic more permanent, even adding “sister” to an official title soon…
***
Lockwood was not having a great day one bit.
He had heard it from everyone on his team about how reckless he had been with that flare, regardless if he was saving George’s life or not. And then he had to hear about it from multiple DEPRAC officials leading up to his final reaming from the man, the myth, the legend himself, Inspector Barnes.
To say that he and Barnes had a good relationship would be a stretch. They definitely had a relationship. It mostly went: Barnes told them not to do something, they did it anyways, and then he yelled at him about it after.
“That will be all!” Barnes gave his final statement after twenty minutes of tearing them all a new one. Lockwood nodded along, letting the old man get it all out. He knew it was important for his elders to express themselves as they got up there in age, it kept their minds alive.
“Oh, while I’m here, the Malburry Case?” he tried his luck while the rest of his team already started to file out.
“Out!” Barnes screamed at him and Lockwood didn’t argue, scrambling out behind his team.
After all of this, he had to endure Kipps and Mary making goo-goo eyes at one another. He was nauseated enough, he felt like he was going to lose his breakfast he didn’t eat.
Don’t get him wrong, he liked Mary despite who her sister was. And he seemed to hate Kipps less and less every day, although he would never tell him that. But that didn’t mean he wanted to see the two of them in love.
He didn’t understand all the gushing. Personally, he thought it was all silly, but who was he to dictate what his employees did in their free time?
He was thankful that Lucy and Norrie decided not to come closer, instead huddling in a corner and whispering things to each other, serious looks plastered on both their faces. He didn’t want to go another round with Lucy, he was already on edge enough as it was.
God, she was so fucking annoying. She drove him completely nuts. She made Kipps look like a fucking saint.
“See you tonight?” he overheard Kipps say to Mary, which he hoped meant that they were wrapping their conversation up so they could go home.
“Yeah, reservation is made?” Mary smiled.
“Yes, I’ll see you then. Get home safely.” He gave her a quick kiss, one where if you blinked you would miss it. Lockwood was always taken aback by the fact that the Carlyle sisters were sisters. Despite looking just like one another, Mary and Lucy couldn’t be any more different from one another. While Mary was quiet, shy, and a sweetheart, Lucy was loud, annoying, and abrasive.
The four Lockwood & Co members watched the three ladies clear out before Kipps turned to all of them. “Holly, George, would you two mind calling the cab? I need to talk to Lockwood for a second.”
What?
What did Kipps want to talk to him about? Kipps usually had no problem saying whatever he wanted in front of everyone. This had never happened before. Did he want to quit? Go back to Fittes if they would even take him? Kipps wasn’t his favorite person in the agency, but he figured he’d be a little annoyed if they lost him. Lockwood would never admit it to his face, but his experience had been a bit helpful in their recent cases.
Maybe he would have to say it to his face if he wanted Kipps to stay. He felt a chill go down his spine at the thought.
“Relax mate,” Kipps elbowed him in the side. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
“Oh, I was just thinking about what’d we do with your desk? Maybe turn it into a storage area for all my ties.” Lockwood egged him on.
“Ha ha,” Kipps deadpanned. “No, I wanted to talk to you about something a bit serious. I’d usually go to George or Holly but I figured this would be best for Mr. Hates Love.”
“I don’t hate love, I just find the whole thing a little pointless,” Lockwood told him and then caught himself. “For me personally.”
“Which is exactly why I went to you. Since you are so against relationships, I thought you would be the perfect person to ask.”
“I’m not against them, I just don’t want there to be anyone there missing me when I eventually go,” Lockwood shrug.
“Yeah because George, Holly, and even me would not even bat our eyes if you were to die,” Kipps rolled his eyes.
“It’s not the same,” Lockwood told him. He let them down all the time and he could mostly bear it, he could never bear it with someone that he was in love with.
“Sure.”
Why did Kipps want his pessimistic thoughts on love anyways? Unless- “Wait are you thinking about breaking up with Mary?”
He may have not believed in love, but there was no way that those two should break up. Was he planning on breaking up with her at dinner? He called Kipps many names over the years, but he never thought Kipps would do anything like that, especially now.
“No!” Kipps just about screamed. “No, absolutely not. The opposite really.”
“The opposite? Kipps you are already dating I don’t think she will say no if you ask her out?”
“No, Lockwood, you can be so oblivious sometimes. I want to propose to her.”
Oh.
Kipps wanted to propose to her.
That-
That was a huge thing. He knew that.
“Why are you coming to me about this?” Lockwood asked. Like Kipps just said, he was Mr. Anti Love.
“Wanted your opinion? Holly and George would just tell me to do it,” Kipps shrugged.
“Kipps if you want me to make the decision for you then you probably shouldn’t.”
“No, I’ve already decided, I already have the ring. I figured if I could get through your thoughts on it then I’d be ready to do it tonight.” Huh. Lockwood didn’t realize that his thoughts on love seemed so bad that Kipps was resorting to him about this.
Lockwood liked Mary. Lockwood tolerated Kipps. They seemed to really care about each other. He saw how Mary had stayed by Kipps bedside a few months ago when he had gotten a pretty gnarly head injury. It had been almost as intense as the time he had seen her at Lucy’s bedside when they had run into each other at the hospital a few months ago. He knew how much the Carlyle sisters cared for one another, so the fact that Mary had treated Kipps the same said a lot.
And he had teased Kipps relentlessly when they started dating, noting how much of a lovesick puppy he was in their honeymoon stage. The thing was, Kipps still wasn’t out of that honeymoon phase two years later, both of them weren’t. They always seemed happy to see one another, excited to spend time together, and willing to fight to make it work.
“I think it’s a good idea,” Lockwood finally told Kipps. “I think you guys are perfect for one another, I think you should get married.”
A genuine smile grew on Kipps face, one that he had never been the cause of. “Thanks, Tony,” he pulled out a ring box from his back pocket. “I’m going to do it tonight.”
***
Fred’s first day as security for Penelope Fittes was weird. All the documents he had to sign and all the procedures he had to follow were crazy enough, but the weird meeting he had been at took the cake. A man with way too much eyeliner had pushed through his employer's office door without even knocking.
Fred had done what he was told in his training, which was to charge the man, but before he could even get close, the strange man pulled out a sword that was gold-plated and Ms. Fittes was calling him off.
“Fred, it’s alright. Why don’t you wait outside my office? Mr. Gale and I need to talk in private.” Fred did what he was told, observing the scene and then heading out. His boss might yell at him, but Penelope was everyone’s boss, and he was not about to disobey her.
On his way out though, he did overhear a little bit, but none of it made sense.
“Quill Kipps has just proposed to Mary Carlyle.”
“Well,” Penelope replied, her voice even. “We must not have that. This could ruin everything.”