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“Do not hover, Brimsley. I’m quite capable of seeing him on my own.”
Brimsley bowed his head to the Queen, indicating that he understood her meaning, and watched as she ascended the stairs to enter the palace. He waited for a few moments before climbing the stairs and slipping through the large doors. His feet then carried him down the familiar corridors until he came to the familiar door.
“I’m always jealous that the king’s man has far better quarters than the queen’s man.”
“To be expected. I am more important than you.”
He pushed the door open and stepped into the dimly lit chambers, where Reynolds was fast asleep on the bed.
Brimsley wasn’t surprised.
In his later years, Reynolds had become prone to turn in as soon as the King no longer required his assistance.
He slipped his shoes off and quietly crossed the room to sit on the empty side of the bed - they always left room for the other, just in case moments like this became available to them.
Reynolds shifted and opened his eyes. He stared at Brimsley for a moment, before recognition kicked in and he smiled. “Hello, love.”
“Hello dear.” Brimsley leaned down and kissed him.
“This is a treat.” Reynolds cupped Brimsley’s cheek and kissed him again. “I would have waited up for you if I had known you were coming.”
“It was an impromptu visit.” Brimsley removed his sash setting it on the bedside table, and settled into the pillows, turning onto his side to face Reynolds. “The Queen has brought some exciting news to the King.”
“Oh?” Reynolds inched closer to Brimsley and wrapped his arm around Brimsley’s torso.
“Prince Edward’s wife - Victoria, is with child.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“Their line will continue,” Brimsley replied with a nod.
“The King will be pleased."
“The Palace is asking for a report.”
“What are you going to tell them?”
“Me? Why should I be the one to tell them anything?”
“Well, it was he refused to consummate their marriage.”
“I have missed you,” Brimsley murmured.
Reynolds moved his hand back to his cheek and gently stroked his skin with his thumb. “And I, you.”
Brimsley took a moment to study Reynolds’ face, cataloging the lines and marks, the thickness of eyebrows, the greyness of his hair. “A lifetime has gone by," he said softly. "We blinked and the years slipped away from us."
Regret crossed Reynolds’ expression. “I know.”
Guilt twinged Brimsley’s heart. “How many times did we tear this room apart?” He asked, with a small smirk, deftly changing the subject.
Reynolds chuckled softly. “Too many, but at the same time not nearly enough times.”
"I suppose we're too old for such behavior."
"That is a definite."
"We are not the boys we once were," Brimsley mused.
“No, we are not.”
“You are still as handsome as you once were, though.”
Reynolds' face lit up with a smile, and for a brief moment, the years melted away. “That is rubbish, and you know it.”
“It is not,” Brimsley insisted. “I am still as wildly attracted to you as I was when I was young.”
“Hmm.” Reynolds shook his head and kissed him. “You are as mad now as you were then.”
“I was never mad," Brimsley responded defensively.
“You once accused me of taking another rider simply because I was standing below the stairs.”
“That was a fair accusation and you know it. You were keeping secrets from me.”
Reynolds opened his mouth to counter Brimsley but was unable to think of a proper argument. “You have a point,” he finally relented.
Brimsley smiled successfully. “Thank you.”
Reynolds kissed him again. “You are still mad, and I am still madly in love with you.” He inched forward again until he was able to rest his head on Brimsley’s chest. "I still think about our last night together," he said softly. "The night before the King moved back to this palace."
Brimsley wrapped his arms around Reynolds, finding comfort in the familiar position. "As do I."
"We fought."
"I know we did."
"I still hate that."
Brimsley swallowed past the lump in his throat and kissed the top of Reynolds' head. "That was a long time ago. And it was not the only time that we fought. I can recall plenty of rows that we held-"
"All due in part to our duties," Reynolds finished.
"Yes," Brimsley said softly. He ran his hand through Reynolds' hair. "But we always made up and found our way back to each other."
Brimsley knew that Reynolds was mad at him. The storming out of his chambers, not fully dressed, had been a clear indication of that. There was also the fact that in the days since their argument, Reynolds had flat-out refused to look at him.
Days.
Brimsley's heart was physically hurting.
He knew why Reynolds was mad, but he didn't understand the whole of it. But it didn't matter. While he wished to understand what Reynolds knew, he longed to be able to touch Reynolds again.
The opportunity finally presented itself with the Queen disappearing into the King's chambers and Reynolds stepping out to stand guard at the door with Brimsley.
The space between them felt like an abyss.
Brimsley took a conscious step forward, and inched his hand out for Reynolds'.
Reynolds moved both hands to be clasped in front of himself.
Brimsley's heart shattered.
He dared a glance at the man's face and felt even more pain at the closed-off expression that he wore.
They were done. They were over. Brimsley had destroyed everything, and now-
Reynolds slowly unclasped his hands and reached out for Brimsley, curling his index finger around Brimsley's pinkie.
Hope shot through Brimsley.
He slowly looked up at Reynolds, who finally turned to look at him and nodded.
His heart soared.
"I miss it," Reynolds said.
"What? Fighting?"
"Being near each other, and having reasons to fight," Reynolds corrected. "I would much rather that than the pining that takes up the days." He lifted his head and smirked at Brimsley. "There is something also to be said about the sex that came with making up to each other."
Brimsley snorted. "You do have a point with that."
Reynolds leaned forward and kissed him. "I mostly just miss you." He returned his head to Brimsley's chest. "I miss having you next to me and being in your arms."
Brimsley tightened his hold around Reynolds. "I know, me too."
"It feels as though we're back to living on different sides of the world."
"I know."
"I wish..."
"I know," Brimsley said softly. "You know that I wish the same. Perhaps one day, soon, our wishes will come true."
"Perhaps. Until then, this will have to do."
"Yes."
They remained that way for several minutes, listening to the familiar night sounds of the palace and grounds and simply content in each other's arms.
“Do you suppose you can stay the night?” Reynolds asked, breaking the peaceful silence that had settled in the room.
“I am optimistic,” Brimsley replied softly. “I will stay with you as long as I am able.”
Reynolds hummed in response. “Let us hope they accommodate.”
“Do you suppose they’ll spend fifteen minutes together?”
“Let us hope for twenty.”
Brimsley would stay forever if he could.
But he and Reynolds both knew better - duty would forever come before love.
They simply had to live for moments in time like this.