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The good thing about having spider super powers is that they had a lot of cool places to hang out. No one would bother them, it was free, and oh man, the views. Gwen and Miles had gone up to the top of his favorite skyscraper.
They had gotten some sodas and empanadas from the bodega because Spider-Man, not Miles of course, could get whatever he wanted for free, in thanks for his services to the neighborhood and the city. Miles had gone super cocky about it, and Gwen had just laughed at him. She was Spider-Woman, after all. She could get all the discounts she wanted back in her New York.
They could talk about school things, music things, spidey things, and all the other things about their lives, because who is going to understand you better than the person with whom you share a destiny? But there were things they didn't talk about. Personal things. Gwen wondered if Miles realized everything that wasn't being said. Probably not. Miles was super smart, but incredibly stupid at the same time.
She didn't know why she was overthinking it so much. She owed no explanation to anyone. Perhaps it was precisely because Miles was her friend and they had never discussed it. Why was it so much easier to jump off a skyscraper, kick bad guys' butts, and save the universe than to talk about her feelings? Gosh, it was starting to feel like when she told dad. If she didn't do it soon, she was going to explode.
Gwen didn't know what to expect, but she knew it was going to be okay. Miles was cool, he was her best friend. He was her only friend after all. She knew she didn't have to isolate herself and feel bad like she always did in the past. Not when she was with him. It was different with Miles.
Everything was different with Miles.
“Miles?”, she called taking off her hood as they sat on the edge of the building, their legs swinging back and forth over the precipice.
“Hmm?” the boy answered, as he took a bite of his empanada. He was sitting relaxed, leaning back on his arms.
She was considerably more tense.
“I just wanted to tell you that…”, she took a shaky breath in and stared at the distance. The evening colors were changing on the New York skyline. “I'm trans”, she said in what seemed like an eternity for just two words. “I'm a trans girl. Well, I guess you already knew the girl part, but yeah. I dunno, I realized that I never told you about that”.
She glanced briefly at Miles. Why didn't he say anything? He was still holding his empanada up, mouth twisted in a half chew. Gwen’s head was going a thousand an hour, she couldn't stop talking. She needed to fill that silence as it was. Or she could jump off the building, that was surely easier.
“It’s all good, like my dad’s super cool about it but I don't actually like, tell a lot of people I’m not sure why, to be honest? Maybe it’s the having no friends thing, probably, yeah. I just wanted to tell you but now I'm freaking out for some reason, like, I don’t want anything to change between us and could you say something please?”
Miles was still staring at her.
“Ah”, he just said as he swallowed.
“Miles?”, she called again, voice weaker.
Shit, she could feel her eyes watering. Great. Brilliant. Just what she needed. She got up quickly and put on her hood. Why was this so complicated? Why was she getting so nervous? Why did it still affect her so much? Why didn't he say anything?
“Could you say anything?”, she snarled, and it came out more aggressive than she intended to.
“Gwen”, Miles said standing up as well. He cleared his throat and raised his hands in a placating gesture. “I really don't care”, he replied, “About you, no, about that. I mean, no, wait”, Then frowned and corrected himself, “I actually do care”, he slapped his face. “No, wait” .
Gwen rolled her eyes and shook her head. She couldn't take it anymore. But before she could turn to leave, a web pulled her into a tight hug.
“I’m sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really stupid”, Miles babbled squeezing her harder. “It’s okay, Gwen, please, I just saw you so nervous that I didn't know what to expect and I freaked out and didn’t know what to say. But really it's okay, I'm just stupid”.
“You are”, she whispered back. It was intended to be a chuckle, but it sounded a bit harsh.
She was still in shock and did not understand anything. Her shoulders were tense, though the tangle of thoughts in her head seemed to relax with her friend’s hug.
“Let me explain”, he sighed, pulling back from the hug and holding her at arm length.
The boy gestured with his hands and frowned, trying to explain himself. “I said I don't care because it’s all good”, he started slowly. “I mean, you’re my friend, you’re Gwen, you’re you, you know?”, he said with a half smile. “Like, I don't want you to freak out because you think I might treat you differently or something”.
Gwen took off her hood and rubbed her neck. “I was afraid of that, actually”, she confessed.
“Well, nothing’s gotta change”, he sentenced. “When I say that nothing’s gonna change the way I feel about you, I mean it”.
And Gwen smiled. She let out a watery chuckle and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. Miles smiled with her, balancing his arms on the sides.
“And when I said that I do care…”, he continued. “I mean, it’s true. Like, it's clearly important to you and your identity and I do care because I want to support you in that way and stuff. Has this…? Have you been struggling to tell me?”
Gwen nodded as confirmation.
“I've been meaning to tell you that for some time now”.
It was true. The last few hang outs, when they didn't have to be on duty, Gwen told herself was a good time to tell him. But she never managed to do it and she ended up turning it over in her own head, not saying anything instead.
“I see that now”, Miles sighed. “I thought my conversation lately was super boring and that's why you were so zoned out”, he placed his hand on his hips and wore his cocky smile.
Gwen sat back on the edge and hugged her knees. Miles followed her.
“You good?”, he asked.
“Yeah”, she sighed, letting her legs fall and swing with the evening breeze.
“Thanks for telling me, by the way”, he added when she opened her soda can. “So if nothing’s gotta change, does that mean I still can do this?”, the boy asked before pushing her to the void.
Her spider-senses were quick and she launched a web to swing back to the ledge. “Idiot”, she laughed, punching Miles’ shoulder before sitting back down.
He offered his soda can as a peace offering, seeing that hers was probably already slammed to the ground, and laughed as well. “You’re really cool, Gwen”, he said. “I think, no, I’m sure you’re the coolest Spider-Woman in the multiverse”.
She leaned back and took her empanada, already cold. “There’s probably a bazillion Spider-Women that are cooler than me, but thanks”.
Miles crossed his arms. “Aren’t you gonna tell me I’m also the coolest?”
Gwen laughed and covered her mouth with her hand before swallowing. “Nah , I was gonna say you’re probably the dorkiest spider in the multiverse”.
He placed his hands on her forehead with a chuckle. “Aw, man”.
She bumped his shoulder and said in a shy voice “But I think you’re also quite cool”.
They continued to sit swinging their legs in a comfortable silence, with the distant sound of traffic and the occasional siren.
“Well, now that we are having deep emotional convos, anything you wanted to take off your chest, Morales?”, asked nonchalantly as she finished her soda.
“Hm? Oh, I dunno”, Miles got up and walked over the wall with long, slow strides and arms outstretched. He put his arms on his hips and looked up at the sky. Then to the skyline. Then to Gwen, who was looking down at him from her ledge, one hand on her waist, her weight resting on one of her legs.
Gwen had him. For sure. She could read him like an open book and she knew he was holding something back. It was a good time to say it like any other. She was waiting for his answer. There goes nothing.
“I really like you, Gwen”, he gingerly confessed.
He pursed his lips and made a grimace, frowning. He hadn't sounded very confident. He didn't know what answer to expect.
“I know”, she sighed with a small smile, walking on the wall to get closer.
“I know you know”, he admitted, looking at his hands. ”I might be oblivious, but I'm not blind”. He started fidgeting with his suit, pinching the fabric from his thighs. “And I kinda wanted to let you know but like nothing needs to change, I don’t wanna make things awkward or anything”. He took a pause to breathe and looked at Gwen with what he tried to be a more confident smile. “It’s cool, I'm cool, just, just letting my friend know, you know?”
The blonde chuckled while Miles pinched the bridge of his nose, slightly embarassed. She kept walking towards him, but continuing further, towards the top of the building, while doing a ponytail.
“For the record, if we are confessing stuff, I like you too”, said in a low voice when she passed him.
“Wait what”, he turned on his heels quickly to face her. “I didn’t know that”.
The blonde stared down at him. Her ponytail blowing in the breeze. “And I knew you didn’t know”, she clarified.
He facepalmed himself again. “Maybe I'm oblivious and blind”, huffed below his breath.
“Maybe you are, Morales", Gwen smiled, sitting down with her legs crossed. "Maybe I like that about you”.
Miles blushed the same color as the details on his suit. “I, uhm, wow, didn’t expect this, uhm. But, that's a relief. Because I actually really really like you”, said taking a step closer. “Like, a lot", another one. "Like, an embarrassing lot”, finally sentenced sitting down in front of her.
“I know”, she grinned supporting her chin on her fists, her elbows on her knees.
“And I didn’t know you did”, he rolled his eyes, realizing how much his crush was obvious, and how much Gwen knew more than he believed in the first place.
“Dorkiest spider in the multiverse”, she chuckled, poking his chest teasingly.
“That’s me”, Miles laughed pointing at his chest with his thumbs.
An unexpected roar of sirens and lights in a corner of the city caught their attention. Their spider-senses alerted them that something big was happening, and as much as they wanted to continue the conversation, they were always on duty.
“C’mon, Spidey-boy!”, the blonde said putting on her mask and standing on the edge offering her hand.
“I don’t agree with that nickname, but lead the way, Gwen”, he replied masking himself as well and taking her hand.
With a spectacular backward leap, they fell into the void for a few seconds, heads first. Before splitting up and casting their webs to swing between the buildings, they took those free-fall moments to look at each other, hands still together. Behind the masks they hid huge smiles, but they weren’t a secret to each other anymore.