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The clock hit four times, ringing around their empty apartment, when Ena decided enough was enough. Actually, enough was an hour ago, when her head slammed against the desk hard enough for Kanade to raise her head weakly from her own bed. It’s not like she did it voluntarily, but falling asleep sitting up was becoming her thing by now and staying up was the same. Even Kanade, who usually joined her, did it rarely these days, even if that was the reason they decided to room together in the first place. Irregular sleep schedule for the win… she gusessed?
The art on her tablet looked blurry and even after massaging her eyes, it still did. Ena stared. Then sighed quietly and got up slowly. She paused by Kanade’s bed, covering her and reassuring her to go back to sleep before sneaking outside of their bedroom. She looked to the room opposite theirs, the door half open. Ena couldn’t hear anything so she guessed both Mafuyu and Mizuki were asleep. Damn them and their regular sleep hours.
Their shared apartment, which was in fact mostly hers and Mafuyu’s and Kanade’s, was quiet in the late hours of the night. It was still too early for the sun to rise, and so everything was shrouded in darkness. Ena cursed under her breath when her hip hit Mizuki’s luggage, still in the hallway. She told them more than once to put it in their room but had Mizuki listened? Nope. In university and grown up and they still managed to get on her nerves like they were still fifteen and suffering from teenage angst.
The kitchen had only a small light on, one they kept in case any of them wanted to drink something and not fall on their ass. (Which had happened. More than once. Mostly to Kanade who apparently could not tell the difference between floor and counter after three coffees and twenty hours of no sleep.) Ena turned right of the hallway to enter the kitchen, yawning as she grabbed a glass from the counter. She sent a thank you mentally to Mafuyu, who was apparently their designated dishwasher and always made sure to leave glasses on the counter for times like this.
Ena opened the fridge without paying attention, focusing on finding some cold water between Mizuki’s French chocolates they bought as gifts and the groceries she hadn’t had time to tidy yet. She finds a small bottle, thankfully, and pops it open, letting the fridge light wash over her as she pours some in her glass before putting the bottle back on its place. But this peace doesn’t last as when she turns around, she finds Mizuki face to face with her, grinning.
It takes for them to slap their hand against her mouth for her not to scream in terror. Her heart still raced as Mizuki tried stifling their laughter, lowering their hand to cover their own mouth and keep it shut before their laughter woke anyone else.
“Mizuki! What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!”
“Geez, Enanan, what’s wrong with you? I thought you were used to living with quiet people.”
“Not with them coming behind me in the dark at fucking four am?!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Mizuki stops laughing by then, smiling gently. “Are you okay though? I didn’t mean to scare you… this much at least.”
Ena breathed in deeply and then breathed out. Her heartbeat had calmed at least, and she closed the fridge with her hip. Mizuki stood by her side as she jumped on the counter, her glass resting by her side. Calmer, Ena could pay attention to her friend better, eyes used to the lack of light enough to notice Mizuki’s dark eye circles. She raised a hand, resting her thumb against them.
“Have you even slept since your nap yesterday?”
Mizuki looked away, cheek warm underneath Ena’s finger. Ena should remind them to use her face mask tomorrow to get the bags under control before they became permanent.
“Ah, about that…” Ena frowned. Mizuki smiled and waved their hands awkwardly. “I had an assignment to submit tonight. Didn’t manage to finish it on the flight here or yesterday so decided to finish it tonight. At least now I have more time to spend with you guys!”
Ena sighed. “Still. There’s a reason we decided to put your bed in Mafuyu’s room and it wasn’t so you could stay up late whenever you came here.”
“Yes, yes, boss, promise to not stay up late anymore else I get kicked to the owls’ room!”
“Owls- How do you even have energy to be funny now? I feel like my eyeballs are going to pop out of their sockets.”
“I know I’m a fashion major and all, but I’m pretty~ sure~ that’s not a good sign.”
“No shit it isn’t. But my assignment isn’t going to finish itself and then there’s also the MV stuff I haven’t finished yet, plus the art history essay I should fini-”
“Okay! Break time!”
Ena blinked. Mizuki raised their hand, palm facing her and Ena stared at it before Mizuki grabbed her hand and put it in theirs. She slipped off the counter with ease, falling right before Mizuki, far too close that she had to turn her head to not breathe against Mizuki’s face.
“What are you doing now..?”
“Why, you’re going to get the special Doctor Akiyama treatment! No patient has ever left me and not felt better, and you get a discount of free treatmen for being my friend!”
“Didn’t you just say you weren’t–”
“Shh! First doctor’s order, no talking!”
Ena stares, unamused. Mizuki flashes her one of their bright, sharp smiles and Ena simply lets them do as they please. And that seemed to be making Ena wrap her arms around their shoulders, Mizuki’s hand warm against the skin of her hips. Damn, she knew she wore a crop top because even if it was winer she felt warm but was it really that warm in the kitchen?!
“What are you–”
“We’re going to dance! In the kitchen, under–” Mizuki moves one hand to open the fridge, its blue light illuminating their forms and kitchen. “-the refrigerator light!”
Wait. Why did that seem famili–
“...Did you just quote Taylor Swift to me?”
“So fast at catching it! I thought your brain would be too dead to catch the reference.”
“Since when do you even listen to her?”
“Oh, I’m a big fan!” Mizuki keeps a serious face before breaking, staring at her with a mischievous grin. “Kidding, you’re our local Swiftie. This group can’t handle two drama queens, but you gotta stop connecting your Spotify to Nightcord if you don’t want us all to see what you listen to. Seriously Enanan, do you have a playlist filled with Swift for when you’re awake at night? Just how many times can you listen to All Too Well before I have to call a therapi-”
“Fuck you! I don’t listen to it that much! I just listen to her sometimes.”
“Sometimes.”
“Okay, maybe more than sometim- Why am I even justifying my music taste to you?!”
“I dunno, someone can trust their friend’s taste only so much before they wonder if their taste is only Taylor Swift and the top 100 Billboard songs.”
“You know what, you have no mouth to talk! I know damn well you have a playlist with only game soundtracks.”
“That’s in no level with Swift-”
“It has only the fucking Wii theme song! It’s like Cocomelon all over again!”
“That’s not even my fault! Who knew our Mafu would be obsessed over a baby jumping around with fruits?!”
“I can’t fucking work with her about lyrics and imaginery for the art without that fucking baby fucking jumping! Just how many fucking fruits need to fucking jump for her to pay some fucking attention–”
Ena’s ramble cuts in the middle as Mizuki giggles loudly, biting their lip to stop. Tears leak from their eyes from straining and Ena notices only then they had started swaying around. Her eyes soften and she doesn’t let her usual complain slip from her lips when Mizuki buries their face in her shoulder and wipes their eyes there. Their hands wrap around Ena more in the process, linking around the small of her back.
“Wow, that’s a lot of cursing in one sentence. Who knew Cocomelon could get you this agitated, Enanan~”
Mizuki leaned back and Ena rolled her eyes, crossing her arms behind their head. At least during the years they had grown enough for their difference to not be annoying as they stood like this, even if she had to tilt her head up to meet Mizuki’s eyes.
Her reply dies in her lips as she focuses on the pink of their orbs. Mizuki too, seems to be caught off guard, remaining silent as they sway around. Or maybe Ena is probably thinking this moment much more than she should. The light of the fridge turning on and off is what breaks the moment and Ena simply raises her foot and pushes the door closed. They remain in darkness again, only the small light in the counter illuminating them. It made the moment feel… well. More different than before. The darkness had that effect, made the shade of Mizuki’s profile sharper, their eyes falling half closed to focus more.
“Hi there,” murmured Mizuki. Ena could notice the smile in their voice even if the barely there light had given her a chance to see it on their face. She can’t help herself, smiles back.
“Are we really dancing at 4 am?”
“You gotta admit it’s fun, right?”
“I’m very sure that if you sway us for a bit more longer I’ll fall asleep standing up.”
“Just like a hor-”
“Akiyama Mizuki, I’m seconds away from sleep but trust me it’s you who will reach eternal sleep sooner than me if you finish that sentence.”
“-Horizontally standing cat!”
“That’s– that doesn’t even make sense.”
“Well, you remind me of a cat now. A tiny bit.” Mizuki’s hand slips from Ena’s waist to her face. Mirroring from before, their thumb is cold against Ena’s eyes, caressing the dark circles underneath them. “Those cats with black furry spots on their eyes. But I don’t think that’s a good thing.”
“I don’t–” Ena tries to stiffle a yawn yet can’t manage it. Mizuki smiles wider. “I don’t do this a lot. These days at least. Or I do it when I’ve spend most of morning asleep.”
“But not today.”
Ena shakes her head. “Not today.”
“Hehe, do I have to apologize for making you skip your beauty sleep?”
“Don’t say stupid shit,” mutters Ena. Mizuki’s hand is cool and it makes her eyes fall shut. Geez, just how tired was she? “You know we’re happy you’re here. Mafuyu and Kanade were discussing what to do for you when you came here for the entire week.”
“And what was Ena doing? Holding Mafuyu back from adopting another stray under the pretense that I, who visits during breaks, love them?”
“I was preparing for you coming home.” The hand on her cheek slides to the back of her neck as Ena’s forehead meets Mizuki’s shoulder. Bless their height difference, actually. “I was excited for you coming back. Still am. I live with those two everyday but even if we spent years communicating mostly through Nightcord, I appreciate times like this even more than before.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you sounded like you missed me!”
“I did miss you.” Her voice is low, whispering against Mizuki’s shoulders. “Of course I did.”
Mizuki doesn’t reply, and as their swaying stops they remain standing in the empty, dark kitchen holding each other. Ena doesn’t mind, Mizuki’s body warm and steady, a rock to lean her half asleep existence against. She remembers a younger Mizuki, one who wrapped an arm around her shoulder or around her arm yet wouldn’t hug her for longer than a few quick seconds. Here they were now, simply standing in each other’s arms.
“I missed you too,” whispers Mizuki back. There’s fondness in their voice, a warmth that brings a smile to her lips. “I missed our banter like this, especially when you’re tired and get extra cranky.”
“Way to ruin the moment.”
“I still make a point. I did miss this. Just… just existing with you guys. I love France and being with sis but… I miss our home here too.”
“Our home.”
“Mhm?”
Ena can’t hold her grin. “You referred to this as our home.”
“Oh…!” They hug her closer, chin resting on her head. Ena feels their throat move, a silent swallowing. “I guess I did. This is our home.”
“You’ve grown,” mutters Ena. Her mouth feels like it was stuffed with cotton yet also like a ship swimming along the currents. How did that even work? “I’m proud of you, Mizuki. I really am. And of Mafuyu for stepping up against her cunt of a mother. And of Kanade for… for being Kanade.”
“The parasocial blindness towards our lovely K seems to be as strong as ever I see!”
“Fuck you,” says Ena. Mizuki laughs gently, trying not to stirr her. Ena feels her consciousness slip with each moment more she spends with her eyes closed, so she pulls back, blinking awake and gripping Mizuki’s biceps. There’s a smile with teary eyes looking back to her. “Also. I need to go sleep.”
“Our lovely artist finally breaks!”
“You too, Mizuki. Us both. Let’s go to sleep.”
“So forward with poor me! Take someone to dinner first, won’t you?”
“I’ll take you to meet God if you don’t follow me. We got a long day tomorrow and I don’t want us to pass out in the middle of the street.”
Mizuki salutes and Ena rolls her eyes. They walk in silence towards their rooms, standing side by side. The hallway is dark and warm. Mizuki’s hand brushes against her until the movement is right enough for her fingers to slip through theirs. Their footsteps stop between their two doors, facing each other and half closed.
They do not talk of their hands. They do not pull away.
“So…” Mizuki grins, swaying on their tiptoes and heels. “Time for bed?”
Ena stares at their smile and half lid eyes, at their shirt mussed from Ena using it as a pillow. Mizuki looks kind, with the same warmth they had back when they met yet matured, a canva that had been filled with new, beautiful colors. Ena wondered if her younger self, or even Mizuki’s, could think that they could ever reach this day, standing hand in hand in an apartment they all shared, teasing and joking in the early hours.
“Time for bed,” says Ena.
She doesn’t make to move. There’s something keeping her there, physically sluggish and yet her mind felt as clear as if it was morning. That was dangerous, she thought. That only meant no self control, and no self control at this hour never meant good things. It didn’t mean good things when she pulled Mizuki close, lips falling against their cheek before pulling away.
Ena whispers a good night before slipping inside her room. It takes two full seconds before she processes what she’s done. She doesn’t panic, nor think of the softness of Mizuki’s cheek and the closeness to their lips or the sudden tightness of their grip on her hand. Ena smiles and touches her lips and forgoes her bed to slip in Kanade’s, warmer and somehow much softer than her own.
Kanade does not talk but Ena meets her eyes for a split second before she goes back to sleep. Ena smiles and closes her own eyes, her body warm and heart even warmer. Perhaps this meant something. Perhaps it didn’t. But she didn’t care. She was living with the people she loved most in this world and was doing what she loved most in this world. Everything else mattered nothing compared to that. Ena dreams of pink canvas and riding white horses on dark mountain paths and that felt like enough.