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The Miyagi-Fang boys were all hanging out at a park near the apartment complex where Robby and Miguel lived. They were just chatting, joking, and being boys (read, play fighting). Robby sat to the side, not really included in the activity, and he thought that he knew why. It was because they didn’t really want him there. They only tolerated him because he was going to be Miguel’s stepbrother. And he understood why they wouldn’t want him around. After all, he did almost kill Miguel that one time. Robby still hadn’t forgiven himself for that.
Robby was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed that the other boys had stopped playing around. That is, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Robby’s head snapped to face Miguel, who was looking at him with concern. “Are you okay, Robby? You’re really quiet today,” Miguel said.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Robby said. He adjusted the statement after getting a look from Miguel. “I’m fine. It’s just that I know that you don’t really want me here.”
“Of course, we want you here, dude,” Eli said.
“We wouldn’t have invited you if we didn’t want you to come. You were in your apartment and Miguel was in his. We could have easily not brought you if we wanted to,” Demetri said.
“Dude, not helping,” Eli said under his breath.
“No, actually it is helping. He’s making me think through the whole situation, not just my perception of it. That's one of the things I'm supposed to be working on. I'm not too good at it yet. Clearly,” Robby said.
“Oh okay,” Eli said in response, completely unsure of what else to say.
Miguel sat next to his brother. “What made you think that we don’t want you here?” Miguel felt the immense need to get to the center of the issue so that he could find out how best to help his brother.
“Well, you’re all playing around and talking and I’m just kind of here. Like you brought me, but weren’t including me, so it was all out of obligation,” Robby answered after a moment’s hesitation.
“I didn’t know that it bothered you so much,” Demetri said. He wasn’t very good with feelings.
“I thought you wanted some space,” Miguel said. “I thought I was giving you what you needed.” Miguel looked so sad as he said this. He just wanted to be a good brother, and no matter how hard he tried, he kept making mistakes.
Robby leaned on Miguel’s shoulder. “Sometimes that is what I need, but more often than not, I just want to be included. If I want to opt out I will, but I want to be included. I just want to belong,” Robby said. As he spoke the last part, Robby looked up at Miguel with a sadness in his eyes, so deep that it made Miguel want to cry.
“You belong here with us, man.” Eli said.
Robby just smiled weakly at him when he said this.
“You do know that we care about you, right, Robby?” Miguel said.
Robby nodded. Then he said, “It’s just that I have been abandoned so many times that I can’t help but think that it will happen again.”
“I know that you might not believe this right now, but we’re not going to leave you. Never,” Miguel whispered to Robby.
“I know,” Robby said. This was enough for his friends, but Robby didn’t tell them that knowing his friends weren’t going to leave him didn’t reduce his fear of it happening at all. He didn’t know why his brain was so fucked up, but it was, and there was nothing he could do about it. He just had to live with it.