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Tommy wanted his epitaph to say "Biggest Man, Husband to Many Wives" and, beneath that, "He was aiming for The Blood God", because there was no way he was getting out of this fight alive now. Slowly, the masked vigilante edged towards the end of the barn roof on hands and knees, peering over to see the damage he'd wrought on the Siren, sure that the man had broken his back in the twenty-foot fall. Paralyzing the number three villain in the city would certainly put him even higher on the shitlist of the number one and two villains, Corvid and Blood God, and even now he was mourning that he would never reach true adulthood. Upon spotting the villain, his heart leapt (Siren was alive!) and then immediately plummeted (because there was no way Siren would let him live after this).
His fall had been broken by what appeared at first glance to be a pile of mulch. Judging from the smell wafting through the hole in the crusty outer shell, it was very much not woodchips, but manure. Manure that had been piled behind the barn, covered in a thin layer of shavings, and left to decompose in the hot summer sun until the late-season crops were planted. The outer layer had baked hard, like a pie crust, which had easily given beneath the weight of the villain being kicked off the roof. The only part of him that had been spared was his left boot - the rest of him was in the hole, lying spread-eagle on the giant pile of manure.
Even from the roof, Tommy could see sweat beading along the skin visible beneath Siren's mask (and Prime above, was he glad his mask covered his whole face and had an air filter. Siren just had an os-tin-tay-she-us opera mask that left his mouth and nose wide open to the smell). He faintly remembered his older brother Techno teaching him about composting a few summers ago, when the older had roped him into holding boards while he nailed a compost bin together. Apparently, stuff rotting created heat , which made stuff rot faster and better, making fantastic plant food. If the heat (and thankfully-undetectable-to-him smell) was any indication, Siren was lying in some gourmet shit.
Blood God, his intended target, was standing on the other side of the gable roof, staring down as his teammate with - well, Tommy had no idea. The boar skull the other wore hid his eyes and brows, and his lips were pulled in a tight line that was impossible to read on its own. Around them the news drones buzzed, camera lenses focused on either the pair on the roof, or the one lying in the compost heap. Even Corvid and Ranboo, who had been sparring on the ground below, had frozen at the sight of Siren falling into the manure (and the later was doing his best not to retch, but Tommy could see the way he was hunched, the pinched look between his brows just above his goggles). The focus of their attention was frozen, limbs held stiff as his mind sputtered and stalled.
Someone laughed.
It was a quiet, deep sound at first, but it grew in loping rumbles until it boomed like thunder across the small farm. Tommy's gaze snapped to the Blood God, who had buried his axe into the roof (and Tommy really hoped the farmer had insurance because - oof), and was standing tall, head thrown back as he cackled. It was a terrifying sound, even though the villain was now disarmed, even though he was grinning wildly as he guffawed.
Blood God didn't laugh.
Ever .
Or if he had, nobody had lived to share that fact.
Tommy slid a few inches down the roof, away from the man, ignoring the sight of a tear escaping the boar mask as the villain laughed himself to tears , and wondered if he could escape unnoticed. Before he could chance jumping off the roof and running for it, someone shrieked.
Now this was far more familiar. Siren had the ability to attack using sound waves created from his voice, so fights with him were full of screams and yells, different pitches creating different types of damage. This shriek, however, didn't rattle the air or cut through the beams holding up the barn. No, this was a shriek of pure, unfiltered disgust. The news drones zoomed in on the manure pile, and Tommy kept edging backwards. He gave up all pretense of subtlety at the second scream, however.
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!"
Aaaaand that was his cue. Ranboo apparently agreed because not a moment later the tall bastard was at his elbow in a swirl of purple particles. Tommy had just enough time to give Blood God a cheeky wave before they teleported away to their warehouse. It wasn't a glamorous or particularly effective base, but it was theirs, and Tubbo was waiting for them.
Usually, the third of the trio would have a first aid kit and a scathing lecture on Tommy's stupidity waiting for them. Today was slightly different - Tommy and Ranboo were greeted by the sight of Tubbo's laptop set up on the coffee table (two milk crates pushed together and covered by a plank of plywood) before the moldy couch they'd saved from the dump. Youtube was already pulled up, a news channel on display, showcasing the madness they'd just left. Tubbo was sitting on the center cushion, using his power over radiation to pop a bag of popcorn between his hands. They wasted no time joining him.
Blood God had finally gotten off the roof, but he was still snorting and chuckling as he reached into the manure and hauled Siren out. The smaller villain said something, giving the larger a shove, as though trying to push him into the manure himself. Corvid approached, holding a hand in front of his nose, brow wrinkled in disgust, and said something, but his teammates weren't listening.
Blood God was cackling again, and Siren shrieked (a normal one, no powers) again and grabbed a hunk of manure from the hill in a gloved hand, smearing it across the front of Blood's costume.
Dead silence descended over the farm. Even the drones seemed to be holding their breath. Corvid pinched the bridge of his nose and mouthed something before turning and leaving the pair behind. He was a wise man, because once Blood God had fully registered what Siren had just done, he picked him up and dumped him, head-first, back in the manure pile.
"Holy fuck!" Tommy cackled, yanking off his mask so he could shove a handful of popcorn in his mouth. Tubbo half-heartedly smacked his hand but just moved onto another news channel, which was showing the same scene from a slightly different angle.
"More like holy shit," Ranboo muttered, setting the other two off into wild cackles.
The vigilantes spent the rest of the evening re-watching the scene, then watching the remixes and reactions people posted. The villains had escaped police custody once again shortly after Siren's second baptism (though Tommy personally thought that was on purpose, to avoid having to arrest a stinky Siren), leaving the three debating late into the night about what the villains were like. Especially the Blood God and his laughter.
Tommy didn't tell the others, but he swore there was something familiar about it. Despite the villain's reputation of never laughing, he was sure he'd heard it before. He didn't let the thought bother him, just split up from his friends to return home at curfew. Techno was in the living room, reading a book, and he could hear Wilbur taking a shower upstairs. He flopped down beside his brother, leaning against his side, and pulled out his phone.
"Hey Tech, did you see the fight between Blood God and Red Lightning today?" He pulled up the video with the best view of Siren getting kicked off the roof.
Techno reluctantly pulled his gaze away from his book and gave him an unimpressed look. "You know I don't watch that superhero nonsense." He snorted.
"Oh, you'll wanna see this!" Eagerly, Tommy hit play, and when Techno tried to go back to his book he bodily threw himself over it, shoving his phone in his brother's face. With a heavy sigh (and a heavy teen on his lap), Techno watched the video. Tommy listened along, grinning as he listened to the soundtrack of the fight (he had excellent witty banter), then the sound of Siren getting kicked, followed by the crunchy-then-wet sound of his crash into the manure mountain.
And when Techno started to snort, then chuckle, then roar with laughter, Tommy thought it sounded oddly familiar, but he shook it off. Techno was his brother, after all. Of course his laughter was familiar. That was all.