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Q-taro had awoken with a start. The cold walls of the coffin still closed in around him, and yet... he didn't feel the somewhat numb yet constant pain from his wound. Didn't feel the crushing, searing touch of the drill. This... wasn't the same coffin he had died in, huh.
And why'd he remember what it was like to be a doll, shutting down?
He had pounded at the lid, his knuckles turning red and raw until the lid buckled under his sheer strength, popping off like a cork as he emerged. Soon he was grabbing at a very surprised older gentleman in a labcoat, a familiar crabstache on his face.
Some time later it transpired he wasn't the only one who had broken out of the Death Game simulation. The coffin-shaped pods were meant to keep them all asleep when they 'died', ready for more rounds of testing, but the others trapped inside had found some backdoors in the game, awakening everyone early.
Everyone. Not a single person had died for real in there, though it sure felt like it. A tearful reunion took place between two sisters, an emotional hug between two close friends, a reassuring pat on the head from teacher to student. Two cops who didn't see quite eye-to-eye but recognized that they had to take charge in rounding up the group of scientists conducting their unethical study in just how far the human psyche could be pushed before it broke.
The participants had ended up forming... not quite a support group, not quite group therapy, and not quite a normal meetup of friends. Things had gotten complicated in there, and while some of them would prefer to wash their hands of the whole thing (especially some of the kids, who very definitely were in therapy) most of them had settled into a groove of meeting up once or twice a month, just to keep in touch.
Q-taro was more than a little surprised that Mai, of all people, had pulled him aside at the end of one of those meetings.
As far as reasons go for inviting someone out for drinks, apologizing for stabbing him was new. Q-taro Burgerberg, second string baseball player, was more used to celebratory beers after a closely-fought victory out on the diamond, or a commiseratory round if things went south. She was very insistent, though, winking at him in that cute flirty way as she wrapped slender hands around his tree-trunk arms.
But before they left the meeting hall, Q-taro had his own apology to make.
"Hey Kai... if we're doin' the whole 'sorry for killing ya' thing, wanna join us for a round?"
The man's expression was unchanged, as usual. "I assure you, there is no ill will between us." Even without the utensils fanned out behind him, his hands remained folded behind his back.
Kai... didn't say much at the meetings. He had admitted how shaken he had been by the connections between what had happened and his employer, apologizing unreservedly for his own role. Sara had forgiven him quickly for that, and the rest had followed suit, so that felt like water under the bridge.
Which just made Q-taro feel worse about him finding the Sage card.
That was... it was stupid, he knew that. Months of making peace with a situation nobody else could ever truly understand had taught all the participants that much. It didn't make sense to blame himself for something he couldn't have avoided doing, couldn't have known the consequences of. The simulation was designed to push all of them to their limits, and calling himself a coward, a liar, a murderer...
Everyone in the Death Game had seen each other at their worst. He knew things about these people that painted them in as grim a light as he was sometimes tempted to paint himself in.
When Kai said he knew a place, Q-taro was quick to interrupt his own ruminations by jumping on the offer.
Mai and Q-taro had both been surprised to see Kai take up place behind the bar. "You work here?"
"I have a certain set of skills that made this a sensible option," Kai answered, gently rubbing his own chin. "It makes ends meet."
"Didn't mean to pull you back to work after a long day," Q-taro said, pulling out a seat for Mai before taking one by her side.
"Far from it," replied Kai. "My employer has no issue with our presence here."
"My, you have quite the menu!" Mai noted. She was still dressed in what was presumably her own work outfit, creampuff hat and all, apparently as willing to engage in her work in the evening as Kai was. She squeezed her gloved hands together, tilting her head slightly to one side. "What would you suggest for a pretty little thing like me?"
"If you would allow me, miss Mai." Behind the bar Kai picked up a highball glass and placed it in front of himself, before pulling a cocktail shaker out from under the counter. Soon enough there were ice cubes rattling around inside it, joined by the contents of multiple bottles.
Cherry liqueur, a little syrup... Kai didn't even take time to carefully measure the ingredients, electing to eyeball the quantities of each. Somewhere along the way half a lime was involved. Q-taro wasn't quite able to follow the other man's skillful hands as he mixed the drink, shook the metal container and poured out a beautiful rosy drink.
"A Singapore Sling," Kai said, pushing the drink across the counter. A lemon slice and a candy-red maraschino cherry completed the concoction. "For the lady."
"Oh my!" Mai clapped her hands together, impressed by the man's skills. "Did Sara's dad have a fondness for martinis?"
Kai's expression didn't even look like it had changed, but an unmistakable chill emanated from him. He had stiffened up, perfectly still behind the bar, and Q-taro wasn't quite sure what to say in the way of apology or comfort.
"Kai... You're a good man. You didn't know he was..." He trailed off before he could finish that thought.
What was the man to Kai, even? Q-taro knew, from the support sessions, that the red apron Kai wore when they first met had long ago belonged to Sara's grandmother.
He also knew nobody had seen Kai wear it even once since the Death Game.
"If you'd ever like to talk about it..." Mai reached a hand across the counter, placing it delicately on Kai's arm.
"I am quite skilled in all fields of homemaking," deadpanned Kai, as if that explained his proficiency in mixing drinks. It certainly felt like he was putting an end to all inquiry into the subject. He didn't move to shake off Mai's hand, though didn't appear to acknowledge it beyond a momentary flicker of his eyes.
Mai lifted her glass, taking a sip of the subtly sweet drink. Her bright and cheery expression reasserted herself immediately, and she playfully stuck her tongue out. "You know, you'd be some real competition for me in the kitchen!"
Across the counter from her, Kai reached a hand for a second glass. "Mister Q-taro, would you prefer-"
"Nah, never did feel right drinkin' those fruity little cocktails. Looks damn fine, but I'll stick with beer," said Q-taro. "Pull one for yourself, come drink with us, Kai!"
Mai smiled coquettishly. "Pretty please?"
Kai waited a moment, before returning the glass. "...Very well. If you insist." He placed two cans of beer - one in front of Q-taro, and one in front of an empty stool - before retiring from behind the bar to sit by the large man's side.
"Worried you don't got as much of a stomach for it as me?" Q-taro grinned at the quiet man. "It's all goin' on my tab anyway. Ain't no shame gettin' drunk, and I bet I'll have put away more'n you by closing time!"
Kai considered the offer. "My training means I have a high tolerance for any kind of toxins. Unfortunately, I'd drink you under the table."
Mai's eyes lit up as she leaned on the bar, idly running a finger around the edge of her glass. "I don't think I've ever heard you make a joke, Kai!"
As Q-taro discovered the next morning, groaning from his hangover, it was not a joke.
He sat up in bed, fully clothed. Biting back the immediate reflexive thought that he had been kidnapped again, he glanced around his own apartment, seeing nothing amiss - If anything, it looked neater than usual. He sat on the edge of his bed, a hand on his head.
"Ow... just how much'd I drink last night?"
He noticed that his phone had been set on the bedside table, a single unread voicemail in his inbox. He moved to the kitchen, letting the message play as he rummaged through his cabinets for a hangover cure. A little soy sauce, some tabasco...
"Hello. This is Kai." Even through the tinny speakers of his old phone the man's calm tone was unmistakable, with just a hint of an accent Q-taro could never place. "Miss Mai and myself took the liberty of dropping you off at your home as you were too inebriated to drive."
Q-taro eyed his foul concoction, a proven hangover treatment (in his mind), and half-shrugged, conceding that maybe he had had too much to drink. When'd Kai get his number anyway?
"I matched you drink for drink, as Miss Mai will attest," continued Kai. "You're always welcome to try again."
Q-taro burst out laughing, only making the throbbing ache return to his skull. "Kai..."
Next time they met up, there'd have to be less drinking.
That next time turned out to be long before the monthly meetup. Less than a week after that night out drinking, Q-taro visited Mai's bakery.
"What's the occasion, Q-taro?" she asked. She paused to give a coquettish wink. "Not that you're ever unwelcome!"
"Dunno, just felt like I oughta try some of your baking sometime. Ya always sound so proud of it!" he answered, giving a thumbs-up.
Mai tittered to herself. "Of course I'm proud, I'm the best!"
"Don't need to tell me twice. Everything looks delicious!"
Money exchanged hands, the register ringing as Q-taro took a bite from a choux bun. It tasted as sweet as Mai's words.
"Remind me to come here more often," he said. "And that ain't just for the company."
Mai batted her eyelashes, leaning on folded arms that rested on the bakery's glass counter. "When we were walking you home that night? You were rambling about being so lucky to have such a pretty lady on your arm!" she teased.
Q-taro laughed. That definitely sounded like him when he got drunk. "Haha, what can I say? You're a damn fine woman, Mai!"
She covered her mouth with a hand, giggling into it. "And if I recall, you went on to say sorry to Kai for leaving him out, before saying something like that to him too?" Mai's warm smile brought memories flooding back into Q-taro's head, of Kai giving his own little smile in response to his words. "Maybe you want to tell us something?" She stuck her tongue out cutely.
The time in the Death Game had given Q-taro a chance to think about things. How he could be cowardly, self-centered, and utterly despicable. And yet, if he truly wanted to, he could have the courage to stand up to death itself.
He had never had the courage to really be himself, before. He didn't have the big name appeal or clout to feel comfortable admitting there were some men he found attractive, not when it might cause a scandal that hurt his team. Not to mention that the thought of being in any kind of relationship felt like betraying himself, hiding one half of what he cared about to focus on the other.
"Yeah, I'lll say it - Kai's a very pretty man," he conceded, pulling down his hat just a little as a blush crept onto his smiling face.
That earned him another giggle in response. "I'll be sure to tell him that the next time he visits."
"Kai comes here?"
"He came here the day after that, to make sure I was alright. Such a gentleman!"
Q-taro gave her a grin, jabbing a thumb against his own chest. "He only left me a voicemail."
"I thought you'd prefer to recover by yourself," supplied Kai, currently inspecting iced cinnamon swirls that lay beyond the glass.
There was silence for a moment. Q-taro's blush had been beginning to fade, but returned in full force. "Hey Kai! When'd ya get here?" he said, greeting the surprise visitor.
Kai stood up straight, looking up at him. He wasn't exactly short, except in comparison to the likes of Q-taro, but had somehow gone completely unnoticed when he entered the bakery, and apparently silently slipped past the pair, content to wait until they were finished talking. "Suppose I had been here for a few minutes," he said. "Would it have been right to insert myself in your discussion?"
"Kai, you're among friends here! You should speak up more!" answered Mai, hands clasped together and slightly tilted aside in a cute style she had perfected. Her tone was absolutely sincere, for once.
"Hmm, friends," he said, putting a hand to his chin. "I suppose we are, aren't we?"
"Yeah, Kai!"
"Perhaps it was the subject of discussion that gave me pause," mused Kai. "It's rare for one such as myself to be granted a compliment of that nature."
Mai clapped her hands. "Well, we'll have to change that!" she said.
And change it she did.
The three of them spent the afternoon together. Mai wrapped the conversation in offhand compliments and something approaching flirting with both men, as easily as if she were wrapping a sweet filling in pastry. Kai, seemingly nonplussed but not unreceptive, returned that kindness when he could.
"Your cute face is always welcome on my side of the counter, if you're ever thinking about moving into the catering business!"
For his part, Q-taro didn't even feel jealous. Something felt right about the three of them being together, enough so that when Mai suggested they all get dinner together sometime the only real questions were ones of time and venue.
Q-taro had some complicated feelings for both of them. It's hard to see someone's true self instead of an idealized form when you spent a week torn between making his death mean something or saving your own hide. Harder, still, to tease out the emotions of mutually dying in the arms of a woman who tried her level best to murder you.
Hardest of all, perhaps, was pronouncing Filet Mignon.
"Ah'm thinking of orderin' the "fill it mignun"."
Mai shot him an affectionate smile. "You're so silly, Cutie-taro!"
A fancy French restaurant wasn't exactly his first choice, and he was left feeling underdressed compared to Mai. She looked jaw-droppingly gorgeous in her chosen dress, some frilly flouncy thing Q-taro'd be too tongue-tied to describe even if he knew the words for it.
"The ambience is breathtaking," said Kai. His own outfit was far simpler, but no less suited to the high-class environment. It felt somewhat off-limits to ask if he had worn formalwear to yakuza meetings, but he certainly wore it well enough now.
Compared to the two of them, Q-taro's best shirt may as well have been pulled from the 'clean enough' portion of the laundry hamper.
"You look perfectly acceptable." Kai's face was unreadable as ever, though Q-taro thought he might have caught the other man staring at him a few times already tonight.
Not that Q-taro hadn't also had his share of glances at the pair.
The meal arrived, eventually. Q-taro was glad he hadn't tried to order the bouillabaisse like Kai, if only because of how intimidating the name looked written on the menu printed in an elegant looping font.
"I'm not exactly a social butterfly," confessed Kai. "Though it is refreshing to share a meal with friends."
"Aw, I'm sure you've been asked out on plenty of dates, Kai!" Mai raised a hand, giggling daintily into it. "Or at least broken a lot of hearts by turning them down!"
"I've had little interest in going on dates before now," he confessed, seeming somewhat thoughtful.
Q-taro let out a boisterous laugh. "Me neither," he admitted, with a sigh. Kai was right about it earlier - this ambience was something else. The soft piano music, the artful lighting and tastefully fancy decor... and, especially, the company. "Can't really say I know much about romance or nothin'... but is this romantic?"
Mai closed her eyes for a moment, smiling. Then, she slipped her fingers into one of Q-taro's hands and guided the other across the table towards Kai. She let go of that hand, taking one of Kai's instead.
"It is, if you want it to be."
Kai and Q-taro exchanged glances, which both quickly became smiles. The movement of their hands towards each other was mutual, completing the circle... well, triangle.
As it turned out, all three of them did.
Soon enough, one date became many. Sometimes just two of them, but almost always all three, together.
Mai knew a lot of charming cafes and some very specialized restaurants. Kai would occasionally suggest someplace out of the way, a hidden gem of the city or its neighbors. Q-taro... well, Q-taro mostly knew the best dive bars, but sometimes you just want to have a drink with the people you care about.
But what was really the best was when they were sharing a home-cooked meal together, and that meant meal prep. And, more pressingly, shopping.
Grocery shopping wasn't exactly Q-taro's forte. He ate decently enough, and he was in pretty good shape, but hearing Kai gently chastise the vegetables in the produce aisle was always an experience.
The first time they had gone out shopping together, Kai had just silently regarded carrots, leeks and onions before picking out some of them seemingly at random. On one similar trip some weeks later Q-taro scratched his head and laughed about not really getting what was going on, offering to go ahead and grab some other ingredients Mai had asked for.
Kai stared at him for a long moment, his expression unreadable. "It wouldn't do to bring these carrots home," he said. "Even minor growth cracks would make them much harder to cut cleanly, not to mention..."
Q-taro nodded along to a short lecture on what exactly Kai had been looking for in vegetables, vowing to keep it in mind for if he ever did a grocery run himself. It became just a part of their routine, with Kai politely explaining the virtues of various vegetables. Which would suit a soup but not a salad, which would complement the flavor of a dish.
"Heck, I don't think I got all of it, but damned if I'll bring home any less than the best!"
Q-taro's skill as a sous chef was a little rudimentary compared to his partners, but for some ingredients it was more than enough. He had finished his part of the meal prep long before Kai, who seemed completely fine with working on the rest himself.
All he really seemed to ask from Q-taro was a hand to hold when his was free.
Whenever Q-taro held Kai's hand he couldn't help but notice how calloused and firm it was. He wondered if that came from housework and cooking, if that was the reason for Mai wearing those gloves when she worked at the bakery. But, more likely, it might have come from his other work like so many of the scars he kept hidden.
Mai's were certainly softer, and the kind look she always gave Kai when they held each other's hands betrayed nothing. Homemaker, bodyguard, stalker, assassin... it didn't matter what he was in the past, just that he was here with them now.
"Heeeey! Cutie-taro!" Mai had returned, depositing her portion of the groceries on the table - some baking supplies from a semi-rival artisanal place across town that she liked to check out once in a while. She then tugged on Q-taro's sleeve, prompting him to lean down for a smooch on the cheek.
Q-taro had to admit he hadn't realized just how differently some people show their affection. Mai's kind words and gentle teasing always made him feel warm and fuzzy, now that he knew how genuine it all was. That felt like the lovey-dovey kind of thing he had watched couples do on TV. A constant stream of praise and positive energy, which Q-taro noticed had on occasion even made Kai crack one of his rare smiles.
Kai's love, on the other hand, was near-silent and invisible. Getting up early to make everyone breakfast, calling ahead to book a nice table at a restaurant, arranging bills to be paid. He simply made sure that as soon as either of his partners realized some chore or task might need to be done it was already finished, or at the very least that he had begun it in earnest. A quiet devotion, almost unnoticed but still very much appreciated.
So it was that Q-taro tried to figure out just how he could show what they meant to him. Big gestures, romantic speeches and flashy gifts just didn't feel like him. Until he realized that stooping down to kiss Mai's cheek, giving Kai the occasional hug from behind while he cooked, just holding the pair close at the end of the day?
That was his love.