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Maverick awoke with a start, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. It was pitch-black in his barracks room and his wide eyes took in the empty darkness. The darkness swallowed him whole like an eternal void as he stared into it. His breathing got faster, any brief calm after the nightmare was gone.
The sheets tangled around his legs constricted him and made Maverick think of other things that had held him down - like the harness straps in a jet. But the sheets were real, they were tangible things and he held on to that idea like a lifeline.
Maverick swallowed hard, trying to calm himself down. He ran his sweaty and shaking hand through his short brown hair until it was hopelessly mussed up and stared out into the darkness of the room.
There was nothing there, absolutely nothing, he thought nonsensically as his sleep-muddled brain raced anxiously. Definitely not Goose anymore now that the other man was dead and gone and what if…what if the others were too?
The thought had him bolting upright and out of bed, throwing himself down the dark hallways, and feeling his way until he found the handle to Slider’s room. His heart was pounding faster and faster with every step and even though he knew it was stupid he was convinced that Slider’s room would be empty too when he got to it.
He yanked the door to Slider’s room open with a shove and stumbled inside, his hand finding the light switch and turning it on. Bright, fluorescent lights illuminated the room and the shape of a very confused Slider and Iceman in their beds.
“Wha-” Slider croaked out, his voice hoarse from sleep.
But Maverick didn’t care, he was alive, they were both alive, and if they were alive then the others probably were too. He let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and a delirious, half-asleep smile appeared on his face.
“Mav?” Iceman mumbled tiredly, his face scrunched up against the assault of the bright lights.
Maverick shook his head, suddenly back in his own body and thoughts again and - this was really weird, he was now realizing.
“Uh..” he started to say, running his clammy hands through his hair again. Then he was gone, disappearing down the hallway and leaving a very confused Slider and Iceman in his wake.
The tugging, anxious feeling in his gut wouldn’t go away though and thoughts that somehow everyone else in his life had left him too continued to plague Maverick months after Goose’s death.
After several more late nights of waking up his confused teammates and even more days spent unable to leave their line of sight for even a moment, Maverick decided to go see the Navy physiatrist.
He left her office with a shiny new diagnosis of separation anxiety and general anxiety. Now, a few hours later, he’s realizing that at least the general anxiety one might be right because he’s been pacing around in front of Slider and Ice’s room for nearly thirty minutes.
Finally, he works up the courage to knock. Slider answers the door immediately and takes in the sight of Maverick’s pale, scared face.
“Come in,” he says quickly, gesturing at the small barracks room behind himself.
Maverick nods gratefully and pushes past him, taking a seat on Slider’s unoccupied bunk.
Ice sticks his head out from his own top bunk and stares down at Maverick with a scrutinizing expression. “So..” Ice asks after a moment of dead silence.
Maverick gives him a brief glare for the rudeness and then frowns, fiddling with his hands in his lap. “I uh,” he starts and then stops, unsure of how to continue.
“Spit it out,” Slider prompts encouragingly.
“I went to the physiatrist,” Maverick said quickly in one breath. He glanced up sharply to see their reactions. Ice looked mildly surprised, his eyebrows raised, and Slider was nodding like that made perfect sense.
“Just cause I’ve been feeling all weird since Goose’s death,” Maverick explained hurriedly, he didn’t want them getting the wrong idea after all. Ice nodded, waiting for him to go on.
“And uh, she said I have separation anxiety and normal anxiety,” Maverick said after a beat. He held his breath, waiting to hear what they would say and fearing the worst.
It was Ice who spoke first, always the pragmatist. “We won’t tell anyone if you're worried about that,” he said, and Slider nodded quickly in agreement. “And,” Ice went on, “I think there’s someone you should be seeing more.”
When Maverick knocked on the door of Carole and Bradley’s house, he wasn’t sure what to expect. He stood on their doorstep wringing his hands because it wasn’t Goose’s house anymore, that’s why he’d been avoiding visiting in the months since the accident.
Carole answered the door on his second knock, a surprised and grateful smile on her face.
“Oh, Pete,” she said, pulling him in close for a hug. Maverick let out a breath and smiled despite himself as he melted into her embrace. Maybe Ice was right, maybe he really did need this.
But he couldn’t say for sure yet because he hadn’t met his ‘new assignment’ as Ice called him.
Once he was released from Carole’s hug, Maverick followed her into the entryway of their house and kicked his shoes off in familiar habit. He blinked at the open living room, eying the family photos on the wall prominently featuring Goose. It hadn’t changed a bit.
Then he spotted a pair of big, hazel eyes peeking out at him from behind the couch. He smiled softly, “hey Bradley,” Maverick said, heading towards him slowly.
His ‘new assignment’ watched him carefully as Maverick approached him and bent down to his level. Bradley stepped out from behind the couch right before Maverick reached him and surveyed him, his little hands pressed firmly to his pajama-pants clad hips.
“Hey,” Maverick said again once he was standing in front of him. The kid stared at him blankly and it nearly broke Maverick’s heart in half to see the once happy, bubbly boy, now silent and closed-off. Instinct told him to go slowly and Maverick listened, lowering himself down to sit on the living room carpet and watch Bradley like he would a scared rescue dog.
It worked, after a moment of staring at him and worrying his lip between his teeth, Bradley cautiously came over. As he walked over, Maverick extended his arms in invitation, unsure if it would work. Bradley smiled softly then and collapsed into his arms, his small weight flung forward and pressed against Maverick’s chest.
Maverick let out a huge sigh of relief as he wrapped his arms around the boy and held him close. Maybe he and Bradley weren’t so different after all, they were both grieving Goose and not coping with it very well. The thought made him tighten his grip on the little boy as if to protect him from anymore heartbreak.
At last he lifted his eyes from Bradley to find Carole watching them with a smile of utter relief on her face.
“Oh thank god,” she murmured as she came over to sit next to them.
Maverick cast her a confused glance and she clarified, “he hasn’t been willing to get close to anyone besides me since…” she trailed off and they both knew what she was talking about, the empty chasm of grief stretching out between them.
Carole shook her head, warding off the thoughts as she continued, “anyways, he refuses to leave my side and I just can’t-”
Maverick nodded in understanding and sympathy. He didn’t tell her that he was doing the exact same thing, he just listened as she described Bradley’s symptoms which were the same as his. He won’t sleep because of nightmares, he can’t leave her line of sight without panicking, he doesn’t want to go out in public, he eats less, ect ect.
When it was time for him to go Maverick pressed a kiss to the top of Bradley’s head of curls, the kid having fallen asleep long ago, hugged Carole, and promised to do some babysitting for her soon.
After he got back to the barracks, he found Ice and Slider hanging out in their room.
“So..” Slider started to ask, a hint of hope and worry in his voice.
“I’m gonna do some babysitting,” Maverick replied as casually as he could, moving to sit next to the other man so that their shoulders were pressed together.
Ice grinned proudly, “told you so,” he remarked from his spot sitting on the floor. Maverick threw an abandoned sock at his head.
________
The first night that Maverick had to babysit for Bradley was a different story though.
“I know B, I know,” Maverick crooned, trying to hold the wailing child still against his chest.
Bradley screamed, throwing himself backwards against Maverick and the couch they were sitting on in an attempt to escape.
“Wan’ Mom!” He cried, his breaths heaving in and out rapidly and shaking his little body as he cried. His small cheeks were stained red from the force of his cries.
“I know B,” Maverick chanted again, desperately trying not to break down and start sobbing himself.
The kid hadn’t stopped crying since Carole had left several hours earlier to stay at the hospital overnight to run some tests. He’d sobbed for Carole and Goose and both of them at times and Maverick wanted to lay down right there with him and cry for his best friend too. But he couldn’t, Maverick had a job to do here and he would damn well try his best to be the father this kid had lost.
“I’m sorry B,” he murmured at last, when the kid had paused his crying for a brief moment.
Bradley whimpered underneath his firm hold and Maverick shuddered right along with him. “Sorry,” Maverick sniffled again, he wiped his eyes on his sleeve.
When the boy had been silent for several minutes Maverick finally risked looking down at his face to find his eyes closed peacefully and his body relaxed. He’d finally cried himself out, Maverick thought numbly. Sighing, he carefully shifted to lay down on the couch too with Bradley still cradled on top of his chest. Soon Maverick was fast asleep too and that’s where Carole found the two of them the next morning, both still asleep from their exhausting night but without nightmares for once.
_______
As Bradley grew his anxiety grew with him, however managed it was. Maverick took turns staying at the house and sticking close to Bradley whenever Carole had to leave and soon he was almost equal to Carole in Bradley’s anxious eyes.
He drove him to soccer practices and picked up the phone when Bradley called him in a panic because he’d tried to sleep over at a friend’s house and gotten scared. Maverick picked him up without question every time, wrapping an arm around his shaking shoulders and reassuring him that it would be alright as they got in the car to go.
It worked out for everyone pretty decently as long as Carole was there to keep them level-headed and calm. And then one day she wasn’t and Maverick and Bradley’s world fell apart again.
Months that turned into years without her passed and Bradley continued to fall apart and stitch himself back together again haphazardly with alcohol and bad friends. Maverick found himself more anxious than ever and desperately tried to think of ways to fix things, to help himself and Bradley, but none came.
A nonsensical voice in his head said, “you’re running out of time before he leaves forever and you never have a chance to make things right.”
It was that voice that drove him to pull Bradley’s papers from the academy, that voice that made him listen to Carole’s last request and follow it. Fear - that he would lose Bradley and everyone else in his life, clung to him desperately.
And then more years passed and Maverick was forcefully flung out of Bradley’s orbit by the kid himself, something that he was sure he deserved. When they finally met again back at Top Gun of all places, the boy had changed.
Bradley was “Rooster” now and he was every bit as cocky as his callsign implied. He strutted around the training facilities without a care in the world and for the first few days Maverick thought that the illusion might be true - maybe he really didn’t care. Then Maverick saw Bradley hanging close to Phoenix and Bob after the bird strike incident, wrapping his arms around them and trailing after them wherever they walked, and he realized that while Rooster seemed fine he was never seen without at least one other teammate with him.
Ah, he thought, maybe Bradley he knew was still in there somewhere, and maybe he still needed help.
Maverick stayed wary, especially after their fight, but he refused to back away and let the kid continue to suffer on his own. So he made his move one night after training close to the end of their time together and the start of the suicide mission that he still wasn’t sure he wanted to send Bradley on.
“Hey,” he called out to get his attention.
Bradley turned around as the rest of his teammates filed out of the classroom. His face remained carefully blank as he said, “what?” but Maverick didn’t miss the way his fingers twitched towards his classmates’ retreating backs.
“I just wanted to see how you're doing,” Maverick replied, stepping closer.
Bradley tensed up, “I’m fine,” he spat out quickly. He glanced towards the door then back at Maverick. His eyes were wide.
“I know,” Maverick said with a huff, “I know but I still wanted to check in because it seems like you still don’t like being alone,” he continued.
Bradley froze like he’d been caught in a trap. “So what?” he asked icily.
Maverick didn’t take the bait. “So, I know you B, what’s up?” he said gently.
Bradley’s face twitched, his perfect composure washing away at the sound of the childhood nickname. “I-” he choked out. He took a stumbling, half-step towards Maverick. “I left..” Bradley mumbled, his eyes downcast.
That was all Maverick needed. He stepped forward to meet the kid who might as well be his own son with his arms wide open. Bradley collapsed into them with such force that Maverick let out an ‘oomph’ and lowered them both to the floor.
Bradley cried, his hands twisting in Maverick’s uniform as he tugged himself closer to the person who he’d actually wanted all this time, not just the friends he stuck by out of necessity.
“I know B, I know,” Maverick murmured, wrapping his arms around the kid tighter as he cried and cried.
“S-sorry,” Bradley gasped in between sobs. He buried his head in Maverick's chest as a fresh wave of crying took over him at the words.
“Shush, Shush, it’s ok baby goose,” Maverick crooned. He dipped his head down to rest on top of Bradley’s curls. “I’m here,” he murmured softly.
His kid curled up even impossibly smaller in Maverick’s lap and suddenly Maverick felt like the years between them were washing away and Bradley was four years old again, missing his dad and fearing losing everybody else just like Maverick. Maverick clutched him tighter as his own tears dripped down his face.
Minutes or hours later, he couldn’t tell, Bradley finally lifted his head and sniffled, rubbing his runny nose with his hand. Maverick looked up too, wiping away his tears as he watched Bradley carefully. At last the kid looked him in the eye and croaked out, “now what?”
Maverick swallowed hard, “now we stick together baby goose,” he murmured back, absently rubbing small circles into Bradley’s uniform-clad arms.
Bradley nodded like he was satisfied with the answer and wrapped his arms back around Maverick in a hug, “M’ still sorry,” he said, then after a beat, he added, “dad.”
Maverick grinned despite himself and squeezed Bradley back, burying his nose in the kid’s hair as he murmured back, “it’s ok son.”
When they both finally stood up and Maverick stretched his aching back from sitting on the floor for so long, Bradley managed a small chuckle which Maverick lightly slapped him for. The kid smiled at him, a look of pure adoration on his face that Maverick wasn’t sure he deserved but he would damn well try to earn.
“So,” Maverick said at last, stuffing his hands in his pocket as he glanced out the window. It was pitch-dark outside.
Bradley’s eyes widened suddenly as he stared at Maverick, “please don’t-” he stammered and Maverick recognized that anxious look, “please don’t leave,” he said quickly.
Maverick nodded, “I’m not going anywhere B,” he assured him, reaching a hand out to grab Bradley’s own. Bradley clung to his hand like a lifeline as he nodded too, like he was trying to believe him.
Maverick tugged his hand, pulling Bradley along after him as he walked down the hall towards his officer barracks room.
“Where are we going?” Bradley asked tiredly, covering a yawn with his hand.
Maverick hummed, “said I wasn’t gonna leave you baby goose,” he answered. Bradley paused as he let that sink in then nodded and followed along behind Maverick determinedly.
When they reached Maverick’s room he opened the door and had to let go of Bradley’s hand, gesturing for the kid to go on ahead. Bradley stood awkwardly in the middle of Maverick’s sparse room, taking in the pictures of him and Goose stuck to the walls.
Maverick dug through his dresser drawers and found an old hoodie and shorts that must have belonged to Wolf because they were huge. “Here,” he said, tossing the items at Bradley.
Bradley still looked like a deer in the headlights but he caught them and Maverick sighed, pointing at the connected bathroom. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to B,” he pointed out respectfully, conscious of the kid’s space.
Bradley shook his head quickly, a bit of that old panic lacing his voice as he said, “No, I want to.”
“Ok,” Maverick said, turning away to find his own pajamas. Bradley nodded once, decisively, and disappeared into the bathroom.
When Bradley returned Maverick was sitting up in his bed, his sore back propped up against the headboard. Bradley froze awkwardly when he saw Maverick, his bunched up uniform clutched tightly in his hands. A glimmer of longing and sadness colored his expression.
“C’mere,” Maverick murmured quietly, “It’s ok,” he said, gesturing at the bed.
Bradley swallowed hard and then practically ran forward to meet Maverick on the bed. He curled up beside him on top of the covers, his long legs taking up much more room than Maverick’s smaller frame. Maverick smiled wistfully when he saw him like that, not much really had changed, he thought silently to himself.
When Maverick pulled the covers over Bradley he didn’t protest, just scooted around until he was comfortable and then laid his head back against the pillows with a sigh of relief. Slowly, Bradley reached his hand over until it was lying on Maverick’s forearm.
“Okay?” the boy asked quietly, half bashful and half hopeful.
Maverick turned over to face him, carefully wrapping his arms around the kid and pulling him back, close to his chest. “Always B,” he replied in a whisper. The tension finally drained out of Bradley’s body at long last and he went completely limp in Maverick’s arms as he relaxed.
Sighing, Maverick rested his cheek on top of Bradley’s curls and whispered, “night B, love you,” he waited a moment for a response but the only thing that greeted him was a loud snore as Bradley nestled closer to him, home at last.