Chapter Text
“You know she’s not going to answer.”
“Shut up, old man.”
Deep down Fin knows that Munch is right, but he can’t help it, he has to try again and again.
It’s Olivia.
She’s like a sister and he’s worried. After Lewis all of the squad had tried to get through to her, to get her help, to make her see someone but there was no luck.
Worst of all, after she left with Cassidy they didn’t have news from her.
The little of what he learns from her boyfriend is only in the form of her breathing for another day. She doesn’t talk, she doesn’t eat and she’s closed in the guest bedroom of Cassidy’s apartment all day. The only time he ever gets to see her is when she’s going to the bathroom.
It has been a month since Lewis. A month since one of his friends lived a horror all on her own. A trauma that no woman should ever have to suffer.
Olivia needs people around her, needs someone to be there and chase away the nightmares that he’s sure torture her.
Cragen had tried, Amaro had tried, even Rollins had put in her two cents.
Nothing .
He and Munch had stopped by countless times and all they got as an answer was a “ Go away,” and a still closed door.
He feels as his partner grabs his shoulder.
“Tutuola leave it be. She’s not going to open the damn door and she won’t talk to us.”
He stops, lowering his head.
“Yeah I know man. She won’t open up to anyone.”
His gray haired best friend looks at him with quiet eyes, a solemn look on his face like he’s about to drop a bomb.
“We both know that the only person she’s willing to talk to is gone.”
He does know. He acknowledges that there’s only one bastard that can be Olivia’s salvation.
Stabler .
“We gotta find him man or I don’t know what it’ll happen to her.”
Munch looks at him with a sneaky smile.
“That’s why I contacted a friend of mine. Learned where he’s hanging out nowadays.”
Fin shakes his head.
“And we’re still here? Let’s go.”
John chases him as he walks out of the building.
~oOo~
The OCCB headquarters are quiet at this time of day.
When he enters Sergeant Bell’s office he finds her speaking on the phone.
There’s a board beside her with some case info and he stops when his eyes catch the familiar bearded face staring back at him.
More specifically it’s Stabler’s face .
The son of a bitch must be undercover.
Shit .
Munch looks his way and they share a concerned glance.
Does Elliot even know what happened? Can he be pulled out?
It’s at this moment that Bell hangs up and turns around, her eyes widening as she takes notice of their presence.
His partner rushes to introduce them.
“Sergeant Bell. Congratulations on your recent promotion by the way. I am Detective Munch and this is my partner Detective Tutuola, Manhattan SVU.”
Recognition flashes over Bell’s eyes.
“I know about your department, saw it lots of times on the news. I hope Detective Benson is doing okay.”
So, she heard of them from the Lewis manhunt. It’s logical considering Olivia’s face and their department were front page news twenty four seven.
“That’s what we are here for actually,” Munch mentions.
The Sergeant looks at them with raised eyebrows.
“Anything I can help you with?”
It’s his time to intervene.
“You have Stabler working for you right?” he points towards his photo. “That’s who we need. Benson was his partner till he dipped without a word and from what we gathered transferred here.”
Bell looks at them with guarded eyes.
“I’m sorry but Detective Stabler is undercover.”
Munch backs him up. This is what partners do after all.
“And Benson was his partner for thirteen years. A bond like that doesn’t break. Look she’s having a really hard time. If you saw the news then you knew what she went through wasn’t a walk in the park. She needs support, someone to trust and confide in. She needs her partner.”
“Listen Sarge, I’m sure his UC gig is an important one but the Stabler I knew would want to know, to be there beside her. At least give him the chance to decide. Just call him and tell him it’s about Benson.” Fin mentions with tension filled voice.
He watches as the Sergeant before him lets out a sigh.
“I’ll call his burner cell and schedule a meeting with him.”
~oOo~
When he receives the phone call from Ayanna and she tells him that it’s about Olivia his blood chills.
Shame fills him from head to toe.
He left her without a word, taking a transfer to another department and never looking back. He left her to deal with the wreckage of their partnership, her calls and texts unanswered.
He abandoned her and something happened.
He knows that Bell’s call is not a good sign. If she is talking to him about Olivia then it must be something serious.
That’s why after she mentions Fin and Munch’s visit he asks to be pulled from the op and for a replacement to be send.
It’s months of hard work, of having a different life but if the choice is between this, between endangering his job and Olivia he will choose Liv.
To hell with the job.
This time he’s going to do what’s right, what his heart tells him to.
All the roads lead to her. She’s his starting and ending point and he won’t feel whole until he sees her in front of him.
~oOo~
When he arrives at the meeting point he is greeted by a punch.
More specifically by Fin’s strong punch .
“You’re lucky I’m not aiming for your balls with my foot, Stabler.”
Munch looks at him with a full blown smile and he’s definitely enjoying this. He kind of expected it to be honest.
Fin was always more on Liv’s side concerning various stuff on the precinct. He often supported her opinions concerning cases and they talked about a lot of things. They are friends and he imagines that after he left they became even more tight with each other.
Munch on the other hand was always soft for Olivia Benson and the bleeding heart that she is. Her spirit, the fragility she shows in cases, the affection towards the victims it’s all part of her magic. Everyone on the precinct was always encaptured by Liv and her abilities, Munch maybe the most.
Looking at both of them right now words are somehow hard to be uttered. His tongue is tied by the disappointment he sees in both of their eyes.
He swallows the bitter taste on his mouth and finds the strength to talk.
There’s one thing he desperately needs to know. It’s above petty squabbles, void silence and hidden anger.
It’s above them all.
“Is she okay?”
He observes as Munch takes a deep breath before he answers. His words make him burn with worry and guilt.
“No she’s not.”
Fin lowers his eyes and whispers words that put the fear of God into him. “Someone got to her man. And since then she’s never been the same.”
“What do you mean got to her, Fin?”
“I suspected you didn’t know anything about it even if the news were all over her.”
He speaks truthfully. The sick twisted feeling on his stomach growing by the second from all the things he’s hearing from Tutuola.
“I’ve been UC for months, Fin. No outer contact other than short meet ups with Bell.”
John comes closer. “Olivia is not okay and we all know who is the one she needs right now. She won’t talk to us. She’s like a ghost, barely surviving and someone needs to get through her barriers. I suspect the answer to that is her partner.”
He remembers what he promised Olivia as a newly assigned Detective to SVU. He still can see her beautiful face as he was vowing that he’ll be her partner for better or worse.
This is the worse he was talking about.
He walked away but this time he’ll be there beside her. He won’t cower in fear.
With determination his steel blue eyes settle on the two people before him.
“After I make a phone call we’re going to sit down and you will explain everything to me. Every single detail. Don’t leave anything out. I want to be there and in order for that to happen I need to know what I missed.”
~oOo~
After he learns everything, his feet lead him to Cassidy’s door and Olivia’s temporary residence.
He feels terrified, scared that she will turn him away but after all the things he learned he’s going to try like hell to be there for her.
Dear God he made a mistake.
He walked away and he will regret the consequences of that decision forever.
He knocks on the door, insistent hits to annoy her, let her know that whoever is out there is not leaving that easy.
After ten minutes of non stop knocking he hears the sound of feet getting closer.
Then a hoarse voice. Her voice that he missed so terribly much.
“Go away! I won’t open!”
He answers loudly, his vocal cords tremoring.
“Then I guess I’ll have to stay here all night!”
Silence .
No answer back.
Suddenly there’s the sound of the door unlocking and before he even mentally prepares himself, he comes face to face with Olivia Benson.
His partner, the woman he’s always been in love with.
The woman he left.
Two years passed yet somehow it feels like it’s yesterday.
Only it’s not.
The Olivia of the past didn’t have fading bruises or the veil of torment and sadness dominant on her brown eyes.
“What are you doing here?” she asks with a pained hesitant voice.
“I’m here to see my partner.”
“I’m fine.”
His stormy blue orbs lock on her own brown ones. He leaves no room for argument, his words cutting to the bone and awaking traumatic memories at the same time.
“Like hell you are.”
Recognition flashes on her features. Her eyes widen, her upper lip curls.
He sees the moisture that threatens to overflow her lower lashes. She’s ready to break.
“I don’t need you.”
Her words are shaky, her fingers that hold the door open are trembling.
“No you don’t, Liv, but I do. I need you. I always will and it was wrong of me to deny that.”
Her face cracks, emotion filled lines curving over her beautiful features. Her façade breaks and her orbs fill with tears. Hot big droplets slide over her cheeks as she whispers the single word that brings him to his knees.
“El.”
El. His nickname, the one that she gave to him.
El and Liv. The start and end of their story all in one word.
She runs, barrels herself towards his opening arms as she steps through the threshold.
He can feel her nose nuzzling, her little sighs and small sobs. His own hands end up on her back as he rubs it gently.
“Shhhh. It’ll be okay, Liv. It may not seem like it now but it’ll be alright.”
There’s work to be done, his main priority is her wellbeing first and foremost.
There’s another part of him too, one that acknowledges that the minute he watched her open the door and felt her presence he started breathing again.
He started living .
They need each other. They always will.
It’s a long road to healing but they will walk it as they always do.
Together .