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It was a slightly chilly evening in Sumeru when Alhiahtam walked home from the Akademiya. He had had an exhausting day and all he wanted was to go home and read quietly.
The muscular man could hear someone crying as he turned the corner to his place and could see a slouched over figure laying on the hard ground in front of his door. They had their knees brought up to their chest as they sobbed.
Though the man’s face wasn’t visible, Alhaitham knew it was his drunk roommate. He could tell the blonde was intoxicated as he smelled like alcohol and was completely disheveled.
“Kaveh,” the man said as he stood in front of the pathetic man before him.
His roommate didn’t respond. He just kept crying into his knees.
Alhaitham groaned in annoyance.
“Kaveh, get up, I don't have the energy for this right now.”
The smaller man sniffled.
“J-Just leave me out here.”
“Stop being so dramatic and pull yourself together already. I can tell you’re freezing by your shivering.”
“Go away already,” Kaveh said as he curled up further. “The last thing I need right now is your rude comments.”
“Kaveh,” the man said in that tone he only gave when he was concerned for his roommate.
“I said go away!” Kaveh shouted into his knees.
The sudden change in behavior startled the standing man but he quickly regained his composure.
“Kaveh you’re drunk. Let’s get you inside. It’s cold out here.”
“I don’t care!” Kaveh’s voice cracked as he choked back tears.
He pressed his face deeper into his knees.
“I don’t deserve your pity. Just leave me alone.”
The gray haired man knelt down to get closer to the one who continued crying like a child.
“Let me help you. You’re going to catch a cold if you stay out here much longer and we don’t want a sick Kaveh.”
He went to pick up the man but was shoved away.
The blonde sat up abruptly, swaying from intoxication, and got in his roommate’s face.
“I said for you to leave me alone! What don’t you understand about that simple request?!”
Alhaitham was silent as he took in the sight before him.
Kaveh’s eyes were bloodshot with eyebags most likely from sleep deprivation and stress. His cheeks and skin around his eyes a dark pink.
“Say something you idiot! Don’t just give me that pathetic look. I know I probably look like shit right now. You don’t need to come up with one of your creative insults.”
Alhaitham shook his head slightly.
“I wasn’t going to insult you. Also, I don’t hate you. Far from it. What makes you say that so genuinely?”
Kaveh huffed, “You don’t have to deny it.”
“I’m not denying anything. I’m being serious about this. I care about you.”
“You don’t care about me,” Kaveh said in a disgusted tone. “I know you hate me and only let me live with you because you feel bad for me. You despise me and we both know it. Just let me freeze out here. It’s what I deserve.”
The distressed blonde felt tears starting to stream down his cheeks.
“Don’t say things like that,” Alhaitham gently placed his palms on the tearful man’s cheeks. “I don’t hate you.”
“Yes you do! You don’t have to pretend that you don’t.”
The blonde turned his head to look away from the one before him in an attempt to hide his tears.
“Kaveh, look at me.”
He shook his head roughly.
“No, I don’t wanna hear it! Especially not from you.”
“At least listen to me.”
Kaveh covered his ears.
“I don’t have to listen to the likes of you!”
The larger man placed his hands on Kaveh’s wrists and delicately guided them away from his ears.
“You’re shaking. Here, take this.”
Alhaitham took off his jacket and threw it over Kaveh’s shoulders who held it close to his body.
“Why would anyone want to be with me? You’re tired of me, I just know it. You want me out of your house already. You regret ever letting me into your home and now you’re stuck living with an emotional alcoholic.”
“That’s not true and you know it. If I was tired of you I would’ve kicked you out already.”
“Then say it.”
“Say what?”
“Say that you want me gone. Just spit it out and let me suffer in peace. You don’t care about me nor do you want me in your life anymore. Leave me already just like everyone else I’ve ever loved.”
It was obvious he wasn’t going to get to the crying man. Kaveh was too intoxicated and emotionally fragile right now.
“Calm down, it’s going to be okay.” Alhaitham said gently. “I’m not going to leave you. Not now and not ever.”
“You’re lying!” Kaveh responded in hysterics, “You don’t love me like I love you and now that you know you never want to lay eyes on me again.”
‘Did Kaveh just say he loved me?’ Alhaitham thought to himself in disbelief.
“You really love me?”
Alhaitham’s mind was racing. He had loved Kaveh for Archons knows how long and had no idea his roommate felt the same towards him.
“Of course I do, you idiot!”
Kaveh sobbed into his hands while Alhaitham watched.
He could tell Kaveh had been bottling this all up for a long time and, though he’d rather have this conversation in the comfort of their home while Kaveh was sober, he knew now was the time for his roommate to get his feelings off his chest.
They sat there for a few minutes, Kaveh crying and Alhaitham waiting for him to calm down, until the blonde spoke into his hands.
“That’s the problem with me loving someone though. They never love me back. They leave me to wallow in my own sadness without a clue as to how much I loved them.”
Alhaitham frowned, unsure of how to comfort the man who continued to talk into his hands.
“I’m not them though. Why would loving me be so wrong?”
Kaveh’s tears pooled in his palms as he couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
“I can’t do it, Haitham. I know with my entire being that I love you and it terrifies me.”
Alhaitham gave a look of both confusion and sadness.
“Why does loving me terrify you?”
“Because everyone I ever loved left.” Kaveh looked into the man’s eyes. “I can’t lose you too.”
“You’re not going to lose me.”
Kaveh let out a single choked up laugh.
“That’s what they all say. How do I know you won’t do the same?”
“I’d never leave you. Kaveh, I love you.”
With sad puffy eyes, Kaveh gave a fake half smile at the thought.
“No you don’t. You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“Why would I lie about loving you? Is it so impossible for you to be loved by someone unconditionally?”
“Yes,” Kaveh stated simply.
Alhaitham continued frowning not out of frustration but of sympathy for the man he loved.
“I told you to not give me that look of pity. I know you don’t love me.”
The larger man sighed which Kaveh took as Alhaitham being annoyed with him when it was really a sigh of sadness.
“What do you want me to say? Do you need proof that I love you?”
Kaveh rolled his tear filled eyes which were so red it was giving him a headache.
“Obviously, how else am I going to believe you.”
Alhaitham lifted his arms, placing one hand on the back of Kaveh’s head while the other wrapped around his skinny waist to hold him close.
“And just what do you think you’re doing?” Kaveh asked.
Hesitantly, Alhaitham stopped.
“Is this alright?”
“Of course it is!” Kaveh responded in a tone which was more excited than he intended it to be. “What, you think I haven’t wanted to kiss you for years now? You really are an idiot. Archons, why don’t you just shut up and-”
Alhaitham closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against his roommate’s.
Kaveh accepted his advancement and sunk into the warm embrace, kissing him back.
It went from gentle to a desperate kiss as if breaking it would leave them feeling empty forever.
The blonde wrapped his arms around Alhaitam’s neck and pulled him in closer. It was obvious the two had been wanting this for quite some time by how they held one another.
Finally, Alhaitham broke away to which Kaveh protested but the larger man didn’t give in to his further advancements.
Leaning back, he locked eyes with Kaveh, giving a soft smile before speaking.
“Let’s go inside before things escalate from here. Though I’d love to keep kissing you, you’re freezing and I don’t want you catching a cold.”
Though Kaveh didn’t want this moment to ever end, he knew his roommate was right.
“Okay,” the blonde responded, watching as Alhaitham stood up and held his hands out for Kaveh to take.
“Come on,” the gray haired man said.
Kaveh placed his hands in the man’s and allowed him to gently pull him up.
Standing now, the two took a second to look fondly into one another’s eyes before Alhaitham took out his keys and unlocked the front door.
Opening and holding the door open for Kaveh, he motioned for the man to enter.
“Let’s get you inside,” he said to which Kaveh nodded softly.
“Okay,” he wrapped Alhaitham’s jacket back around himself as it was starting to slip and took a step inside.
Once they were both in and the door had been locked shut, they faced each other again.
“Why are there still tears falling down your face? Is something the matter?”
Not realizing this, Kaveh brought a finger to his face and wiped under his eyes.
“These must just be happy tears,” he said with slightly flushed cheeks.
“I see,” Alhaitham nodded as he leaned in to kiss the man on the forehead.
Kaveh smiled as the man before him stepped back and looked deep into his eyes.
“I’m going to grab a blanket and make some tea for you. You’re still shivering a little.”
The blonde nodded and did as he was told to, sinking into the couch in a seated position. He brought his legs up and rested his head on his knees.
After only a short moment, Alhaitham removed his coat from Kaveh’s shoulders and replaced it with a thick, soft blanket.
The chilly man held it close to his body, throwing it over his head and wrapping it around his legs which were still pressed against his chest.
“Thank you,” Kaveh said with a shivery smile.
“Of course. Now, stay here while I make us some tea.”
Kaveh nodded and watched the man walk towards the kitchen.
Before long, the water was steaming hot and two cups were poured.
Kaveh’s favorite tea was then held out for him to take.
“Thanks,” he said as he let the blanket fall to his shoulders and lowered his knees so his feet were planted on the floor.
Alhaitham gave a slight nod before joining him on the spacious couch.
The two sat in silence as they held their steaming hot cups of tea to warm up before Kaveh spoke.
“Thanks for taking care of me,” the blonde said as he watched Alhaitham take a sip of his drink.
“Don’t mention it.”
There was a pause before Kaveh finally gained the strength to ask what had been on his mind since they entered the house.
“So,” he said awkwardly, “What does this make us? Ya know, since we kissed and everything.”
Alhaitham thought for a moment before responding.
“We can call this whatever you want this to be. Yow know I don’t care as much as you about things such as labels.”
“Okay,” Kaveh said as he yawned.
Alhaitham smiled to himself as he thought Kaveh was cute when he yawned. The way he always rubbed under his baggy eyes from sleep deprivation when he did so.
“Maybe we can talk about this more tomorrow,” Alhaitham stated, “I’m tired from work and you need your sleep as well.”
Though Kaveh usually protested the idea of sleep, he was exhausted from all that had occurred that night. Not only that, he could feel himself drifting off as they spoke.
“Okay,” Kaveh said weakly as he went to set down his mostly empty cup.
Alhaitham had already finished his own tea and had been waiting for Kaveh to do so as well.
Taking it from the man, Alhaitham got up and brought the two cups to the kitchen which he placed on the kitchen counter to wash in the morning.
The gray haired man held out a hand and guided Kaveh to a standing position. The skinnier man held the blanket around him close as he allowed Alhaitham to lead him to bed.
Once they made it to Kaveh’s room, Alhaitham went to unlink their hands when Kaveh stopped him.
“Stay the night with me?” he asked with an adorable look on his face.
“Why? It’s not like you’re a child.”
Kaveh shrugged, “I’m still sad and don’t wanna be alone right now. Obviously there’s no pressure to stay so you can say no. I don’t want you feeling like things are moving too quickly.”
“I’ll stay,” Alhaitham responded, “Just give me a moment to put something more comfortable on. You can do the same. I know you have that excessively long night routine you won’t want to miss so take all the time you need.”
“Are you sure?” Kaveh asked.
“Yes I’m sure. Take as long as you need to. I’ll bring something to read while I wait.”
It took Alhaitham a matter of minutes to get ready for bed whereas Kaveh was in the bathroom doing his nightly routine for Archons knows how long. Alhaitham didn’t care though as he was reading in Kaveh’s bed.
“I can’t believe you actually agreed to sleep in bed with me,” Kaveh said as he entered his room.
“It’s no big deal. It’s not like anything is going to happen.”
Kaveh nodded in agreement.
“True, I guess it’s just two guys sharing a bed for the night.”
Nodding, Alhaitham responded.
“I mean if we’re going to be more than just roommates now it makes sense.”
Kaveh blushed, “I mean you’re not wrong there.”
“Anyways,” Alhaitham set his book on the nightstand next to him, “We can talk more about this tomorrow. Come on, get in here.”
Kaveh did as he was told and walked over and got under the covers, sitting up against the headboard directly next to Alhaitham.
There was a moment of silence before Kaveh spoke.
“So, I guess we should lay down now.”
“I guess so,” Alhaitham responded as he watched the blonde get under the covers.
Following his lead, Alhaitham joined the other and turned to look at the pretty blonde. Kaveh also went on his side so they were face to face.
Kaveh leaned in until they were right directly in front of one another, silently signaling that it was alright if the other man wanted to hold him but not enough that there was pressure to do so.
Taking the hint, Alhaitham wrapped an arm around the other, pulling him close so they were pressed together. The skinnier man did the same and rested his head on Alhaitham’s large chest.
They stayed like that, wrapped in one anothers embrace while the gray haired man rubbed soft circles on Kaveh’s back in silence.
Alhaitham was about to say something back when he heard soft breathing.
He glanced down to see the man in his arms was fast asleep. He truly looked like an angel with beautiful blonde locks and perfect skin.
The man smiled to himself, giving Kaveh a little peck on the forehead before brushing a few blonde strands out of his face.
“Goodnight Kaveh,” the man said with warm eyes before drifting off into a deep sleep.