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"I'm sorry. What? "
Killian stared at Zarina, his ex—ex friend, ex girlfriend, ex person who used to make him happy—wondering if he had heard her right.
And if he hadn't, then why did she have 2 children—no, babies!—with her?
He must have heard her right. But that couldn't be right.. right?
No, it couldn't be... but...the babies did look quite a bit like him…
Same blue eyes.
Same black hair.
Same nose….
"These are babies.. Your babies. Your Sons."
"But–what–how did this happen?" Killian stammered, doing his best to keep his voice down so the other diner patrons wouldn't overhear them.
The Charmings were already gonna be pissed at him when they found out about the curse on his lips and how he had gotten cursed in the first place. Were gonna be pissed when they found out what he'd done to earn it. He didn't want to find out what they'd do or think if they found out he had not one, but two kids he hadn't told them about. Regardless of the fact he hadn't known either.
No.
That would not be pretty.
Not pretty at all.
He had to find out all the facts and tell them himself before anyone else did. Which was bound to happen in the town where gossip travels fast if he didn't hurry up.
Just his luck.
Life just loved throwing twists and turns like that his way.
But he wasn't gonna make Life’s job any easier. Well… any easier than he already had.
"Well, when two people find each other attractive enough they—" Zarina started slowly, looking bored as she sat across from him. Setting the two babies down beside her.
Killian cut in immediately, unamused "that is not even remotely what I meant and you know it."
The redhead had the nerve to smile at him.
Unbelievable.
"You're no fun anymore, Killian."
"Don't call me that."
"Why not? You're clearly not Hook anymore."
"Don't test me."
Zarina rolled her eyes, "Oh please. We both know you're a big softy for people you once loved or currently love. Which means you'd never hurt me just like you never hurt Jeff after finding out his involvement with Gold. And you'd especially never hurt me in front of our sons."
They both knew she was right.
Though how she knew about what Jeff had been up to was beyond him since he knew Jeff wasn't in contact with her.
Or him.
Or anyone really after Priscilla….
Killian sighed, putting that thought on pause. He really didn't want to remember that .
So he focused on the matter at hand, clearly his throat. "Aye… speaking of which.. how exactly do we have two infant sons when we haven't been together since long before the curse."
Zarina looked at him like he was an idiot.
Which, admittedly, he might have been at the moment.
Turns out sleep deprivation and prolonged exhaustion added to consuming an ungodly amount of alcohol on a daily basis tends to do that to you.
"Neverland."
"I thought you couldn't get pregnant in Neverland and that fairies couldn't get pregnant in general?"
"Well I didn't either until they popped out of me last year after I left that God forsaken place. So color me surprised. "
Killian winced.
It didn't take a genius to see that Zarina wasn't happy with the situation.
And an unhappy Zarina was not a Zarina you wanted to be around.
Needless to say, Killian didn't know how to respond. So he didn't.
Hating how awkward being around Zarina made him feel nowadays.
They used to be so close. Inseparable even. And he couldn't help but silently wonder when that stopped being true.
'Maybe when she broke things off and claimed we deserved better?' A small voice in the back of his mind chimed up. One that sounded suspiciously like himself back in his lieutenant days.
Killian ignored it, unsurprisingly.
"So?"
"So what?"
Zarina rolled her eyes. "Do you want them or not?"
Killian sputtered, again—since when had that become a common thing for him to do—"what kind of a question is that?!"
He winced when he caught Ruby peering over again them curiously. Before she noticed he saw her and quickly scampered to collect some dishes other customers left behind in hopes of appearing busy.
Great. Now he REALLY needed to hurry.
"Look, I don't want them. I don't know how to take care of them. I haven't even named them. So, either you take them or I drop them off with Blue and we both know how she feels about us. So do you want them or not?"
Well, when she put it like that…
"Of course I want them," Killian muttered quietly, staring at the infants who just peered back at him with his eyes. With his own mother's eyes.
He had always wanted to be a father.
He just thought he'd at least be around to see the birth, is all..
And that he'd be married by then, but oh well.
Beggars can't be choosers.
Zarina smiled, pushing herself up "Good. They’re all yours. Maybe they'll follow in your footsteps."
God, he sure hopped not…
Wait..
Wait a minute…
"What do you mean you haven't named them yet?!"
Killian headed to the Charmings, hoping that if he walked fast enough no one would catch a glimpse of the twin infants in his coat that he had struggled to sneak out of the diner before he could get there.
He did not know how to deal with a baby.
Or how to name one.
He wasn't even sure he knew how to hold one correctly.
Let alone two at the same time.
This day couldn't get any worse.
"Hook? Is that you?"
Shit. Shit.
He just had to jinx himself.
He picked up the pace. Desperately hoping whoever had called him would get the hint to leave him alone and not snitch on him to the Charmings. Or call authorities he was not acquainted with.
Getting arrested with two babies people would no doubt think he stole was not something he wanted to experience, thank you very much.
That would not be fun to explain to anyone, let alone a half sleep Emma or David coming in to work the night or morning shift.
"Hook?! Killian! Wait up!"
One of the babies cooed quietly in his overcoat as Killian froze.
Only a handful of people still alive knew his real name, and he did not recognize the voice calling him.
This could not be good .
He hesitantly turned around just in time to see a boy around seventeen roughly jogging toward him.
Something felt familiar about him.
"Killian! It's me!" The boy said, excitedly coming to stop in front of him. Breathing heavily.
He was thin with short, wavy dark brown hair and sparkling sea green eyes that Killian couldn't quite place.
Luckily for him, the boy continued before he had to ask.
"It's me! Edward!'
Oh.
OH .
Now he remembered .
Edward.
Prince Edward of Andalasia.
Narissa's adoptive son.
His ex's adoptive son.
Her 13 year old son. Who had grown a lot since the last time they’d talked.
He really did jinx himself didn't he?
Narissa was gonna be pissed.
The Charmings and Emma were gonna be pissed and disappointed.
Why did things like these always happen to him?!
"Lad? What are you doing here? You know Narissa wouldn't want you seeing me—"
"Aww who cares what she wants. She tried to kill me so she doesn't get a decision on who I see." Edward cut in, nonchalantly.
"She what?! "
"Tried to kill me. Anyway, wanna hang out tod—"
Killian took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. Trying really hard not to lose his shit.
'I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex–'
"You know what? Sure lad. In fact, you don't ever have to go back there. Just follow close behind me and after I finish this errand we can hang out for as long as you want, okay?"
"Really? Cool! No one ever wants to spend time with me! Well, except for Giselle but she's not around much and even when she is, Narissa gets all mean and kicks her out quickly before sending me to my room for the night even when it isn't even lunch time yet—"
'I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex.I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex. I will not murder my ex–'
David blinked.
Then he stared.
Not quite believing his eyes.
He should probably get them checked if he's seeing things this badly.
Because there was no way Captain Hook was standing on his doorstep with two toddlers and a preteen.
Absolutely no way.
He should have just stayed in bed.
"Prince, you have to help me. I don't know what to do."
"Pirate, what the hell did you—please tell me you didn't kidnap three children. "
The older of the three children spoke up before Hook could. "Killian didn't kidnap me, I came looking for him."
Well, that was one less charge to sort out. Hopefully.
As for the babies.
"Oh for the love of—bloody hell, mate! I didn't kidnap the wee lads. They’re mine! And before you ask, no you don't know the mother and no they weren't conceived recently. It's a long story involving Neverland that I'll explain later."
David blinked again. Then he stepped aside, ushering the four in.
This was a lot to take in.
"Okkkkaaaaay… what did you need help with?"
"Names."
David pinched himself to see if he was having some kind of dream.
No such luck.
"Excuse me?"
Killian gave him a frustrated look. "I need help with naming the wee lads. Their mother's a fairy and doesn't know how mostly human children work so she didn't name them."
"Didn't name—those kids have to be at least a year old. "
"Time flies for a fairy and she only brought them to me today because she realized she didn't know how to take care of them. I don't really know either but I'll figure it out."
"Are you sure you want to do this? I'm sure Blue–"
"Absolutely not. I am not letting anyone other than me raise my sons. I clearly can't trust any one else to do it right and besides, I've already committed to raising Edward over here the rest of the way, so I might as well try and figure it out for the wee lads as well. So, are you gonna help me or…?"
David sighed "have you thought of any names…?"
"All the names I can think of are hard to spell and I've already asked Robin but he said Roland's mom named him and Jeff suggested Priscus which is fine for a middle name and Liam which is a hard no since I already have two brothers with the name–"
"Okay, okay… that is a LOT to take in. We'll come back to.. all THAT … later since I have a lot of questions—and I do mean a LOT–but you explain after we get the Hook Jrs' here a name."
"Don't call them that." Killian said sharply, flinching at the title.
Which made David feel kind of like a dick.
Great.
They'd also be coming back to that later.
"...okay. Duly noted. I'm just gonna.. go grab the name book Emma picked up. I'll be right back…"
"Lewis–"
"Hard pass. That's an ex's name."
"David–"
"Not even in your wildest dreams."
"Brennan, John–"
"Mark both those names out of that bloody book and I swear to bloody God if you name any future lad of yours either of those names, so help me God I will deliberately call them by a different one until we both die— "
"Alright, alright. Brennan and John are off limits and touchy names, I get it. Emmet?"
"...Maybe…"
They ended up settling on the names 'Harrison Priscus Jones' and ‘Horton Nathaniel Jones.’
Harry and Hort for short courtesy of Emma who adored the wee lads nearly as much as they did her, judging by how quick she was to indulge their desire for her to pick them up.
She was the farthest thing from mad and Snow didn't even give him the stink eye over the whole ordeal, and Henry seemed to be getting on great with Edward.
So maybe he had been worrying too much for no reason.
Which meant that maybe telling them about the curse on his lips and Ariel wouldn't end too badly.
Just Maybe…