Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Buck splashed through knee-high water as he ran in the direction he could hear Christopher calling for him. His drenched clothes weighed him down and the sun shining above burned his skin until it was peeling away in thick sheets but he didn’t let it slow him down. “Christopher! Christopher! I’m coming, just hold on! Christopher!” He shoved aside a pile of debris and finally, finally he could see the little boy struggling to stay afloat in the distance. Somehow, he found an extra burst of energy and surged forwards desperately. “Christopher!”

“Bu-“ Just as Chris’ scared blue eyes met his, they widened and the boy dropped below the water.

“Chris! No!” Buck dove to the spot where he’d last seen him, falling to his knees painfully, but there was nothing but hot cracked concrete below him. “Christopher!” He screamed, his throat raw and aching. There was a rumbling noise in the distance that was steadily increasing but Buck didn’t stop frantically searching the empty water around him. And then the noise couldn’t be ignored because a ten-foot wave was bearing down on him. Before he could even think to get to his feet it crashed into him and tumbled him down the street, putting more and more distance between him and the little boy that he had to save. Buck tried to fight it but his limbs were growing sluggish and his vision was creeping with black as he went without air for too long.

Just when he thought unconsciousness was about to claim him, he was spat back out onto hot asphalt, rolling painfully. He came to a stop on his front and took a moment just to breath.

Soon enough though thoughts of Christopher and the echoes of his cries had Buck pushing to his knees determinedly. Suddenly he was shoved back down and a tremendous weight dropped down onto his leg, pinning him to the ground. Buck wailed uncontrollably, trying to crawl away but he didn’t gain a single inch.

“Buck.” He looked up at his name to find Eddie standing in front of him. Buck tried to reach out a hand in a silent cry for help but Eddie only eyed him with disgust.

“You think I would help you? After you killed my son?”

“Eddie, please, I’m sorry-“

“Sorry doesn’t bring him back. Why do you get to live when so many others died? When Christopher died because of you?” The weight on him shifted and bore down harder until his leg snapped and the bone poked through his skin and into the concrete below. Tears streaked down his face as his shaking hand still reached for Eddie.

“I tried-“

“Not hard enough. You’re not good enough. You’ll never be good enough, Evan.”

“Eds,” Buck gasped.

“Evan.” He flinched at his name again.

“Please, I’m so sorr-“

“Ev, wake up.” He broke off with a frown. Eddie still stared down at him disdainfully but his lips hadn’t moved.

“Eddie?”

“I’m right here, cariño. I’ve got you; it’s okay. It’s just a dream, Buck.”

Buck shot up in bed with a cry, flinching from the hands trying to pull him back. He scrambled to the end of the bed, rolling off and hitting the floor with a jarring thud that had him blinking rapidly. “Buck?” His name was spoken softly but it might as well have been a bomb going off. Again. He jerked his head up, paling when he saw Eddie crouching in front of him, hand reaching out but not touching.

“Eddie?” Taking the call as an invitation the wolf cautiously placed his hand on Buck’s collarbone and then slid it gently around to his nape.

“I’m here. You’re okay.” Buck shook his head frantically but allowed himself to be reeled in and pressed against a hard chest. “Easy, easy.” He curled his hands into the fabric on Eddie’s sides, warring between wanting to push him away and wanting to crawl under his skin.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, Eddie, I tried, I tried, I tri-“

“Hey, hey, shh, it was just a dream. Just a bad dream, baby; everything’s okay.” Eddie’s other hand pushed into Buck’s curls and cradled his face against him even though tears were now soaking his shirt. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” The words were pressed onto the top of his head. Buck hiccupped as he felt himself finally starting to calm down and coming to the realisation that it had all been a dream. He was safe. Chris was safe. Eddie didn’t hate him and want to watch him die.

After what felt like an eternity, Buck sniffled and pulled away to wipe at his damp face. It wasn’t the first time Eddie had witnessed him break down, and it probably wouldn’t be the last either, but that didn’t mean Buck wasn’t embarrassed beyond belief at the scene he’d created. Again. “Sorry,” he croaked. Eddie smiled gently but he could see the worry in his eyes and the small, concerned crease between his eyebrows.

“Nothing to be sorry for, cariño. Let’s get you back to bed.” Eddie wrapped his arms around Buck’s back and effortlessly lifted him to his feet. He started to tug him back to the bed but Buck resisted, rubbing a hand awkwardly across the back of his neck.

“I think I need to-“ He waved towards the door. Eddie’s frown eased into an understanding smile.

“Okay, come on then.” He changed direction just as easily.

“Eds, you don’t need to-“    

“Baby.” The endearment coupled with the fond look aimed at him over his shoulder had Buck folding instantly, letting himself be drawn closer and tucked under Eddie’s arm as he guided them to Christopher’s door. Eddie nudged it open enough for Buck to clearly see Chris sleeping undisturbed. He exhaled heavily and sagged into Eddie’s side.

They stood there for a few long minutes until Eddie pulled the door back closed so there was just a crack visible and then he was led back to Eddie’s bed. The wolf pushed him into the bed on Eddie’s side and then tucked himself into the small gap left on the edge. Buck smiled helplessly and Eddie answered with a grin. “You’ll fall off,” he whispered but tucked his arm around Eddie’s waist to keep him secure against him.

“You’d never let me fall,” Eddie murmured against Buck’s lips. Sighing softly, Buck burrowed closer.

“Never.”   

When Buck next woke up it was much more peaceful, though his body was still heavy with exhaustion. He groaned and buried his face in Eddie’s neck without opening his eyes. In their sleep they had tangled together and Buck was in no rush whatsoever to untangle them. “Mornin’,” was rumbled in his ear as Eddie wiggled closer, the leg that had been draped over Buck’s sliding up to hook over his hip instead. Buck hummed in reply, pressing his nose tightly to Eddie’s pulse point and inhaling his earthy scent. He felt the rhythm beneath him pick up and couldn’t help but smirk. Eddie must have felt it because he swatted Buck’s shoulder lightly. “Shut up.” Buck snorted into the hot skin. Eddie started deliberately running his hand up and down the length of his spine causing Buck to arch into the light touch with a whine. He felt Eddie press his own smirk into Buck’s forehead.

“Mine was accidental,” he grumbled.

“Sure it was.” They both pulled away simultaneously to smile adoringly at each other. It had only been a few days but Buck could safely say he would never, ever take the way Eddie looked at him for granted.

“I love you.” Warm brown eyes melted as their corners crinkled.

“I love you too.” He leaned in as if pulled by a magnet to slide his lips over Eddie’s. Not quite a kiss but all sweetness still. He felt as Eddie smiled and then his lips were drawn into a soft, lingering kiss. They pressed their foreheads together, content to just breath together in the dim morning light, wrapped up tight, safe in their little cocoon. Buck knew he would have to get up soon: feed Christopher, attend to chores, and answer the multitude of texts on his phone but that was a problem for future Buck. Right now, he could bask in his mate’s embrace and pretend all was right with the world.

They did eventually detangle and drag themselves out of bed but there were a multitude of detours along the way. Eddie had to be the one to hold Buck at arm’s length with a stern look but twitching lips. “Stop distracting me and go feed our son, Buckley.” Inevitability Buck felt himself blush and grinned giddily. They hadn’t talked about it yet but this was something Buck knew a talk wouldn’t desensitize him to anyway.

“You’re lucky you’re so hot, Diaz.” Eddie smirked and instantly Buck was tugged right back into his personal space.

“Is that right?” Eddie asked against his throat, lips fluttering over the bite mark from the other morning. For all of Eddie’s initial worry over drawing blood, he had absolutely no shame in revelling in the evidence of it every chance he got. Buck shuddered accordingly.

“Did I say hot? I meant that you were a menace through and through.” The mark was nipped at and Buck barely stopped his knees from crumpling underneath him. A gasp escaped him as he clutched at Eddie’s strong shoulders. 

“Hmm, what can I say? I learned from the best.” This time it was his tongue circling around the half-healed wound.

“Eddie,” Buck breathed. The wolf stepped back with a wide, smug grin. Buck didn’t have the mental capacity to be annoyed by it. Really if anyone had earned the right to be smug it was definitely Edmundo Diaz; Buck was weak to any and every little thing the shifter did.

“Alright, get your ass to the kitchen.” Buck flipped him off as he strode past him, his tongue still too tingly to retort. The chuckle that followed him was far too knowing for Buck’s sanity.

Fortunately, they managed to get through breakfast and cleaning up the house without being side-tracked too much. Christopher only occasionally catching them making out like teenagers and making obnoxious retching noises that had all of them giggling. Unfortunately, their blissful morning was interrupted by Eddie’s doorbell ringing.

Eddie and Buck both tensed whilst Chris frowned. Buck met Eddie’s eyes over the boy’s head and could see the question and reluctance in them. He was fairly sure after their last unexpected visitor and Buck’s subsequent anxiety afterwards; Eddie would happily ban anyone from coming to his house for the foreseeable future. Letting out a huff of faint amusement, he raised an eyebrow at the wolf but Eddie didn’t look convinced in the slightest. “You can’t just not answer your door ever again.” Eddie crossed his arms over his chest.

“I could.” Buck rolled his eyes but, rather than try to convince his stubborn mate of the impracticality of that, he just went to open the door himself. Halfway there he registered the bitter, dark chocolate scent. His shoulders tensed instinctively but he continued on regardless. Eddie was hovering protectively in the living room doorway, just out of sight, by the time Buck was opening the front door, having followed him wordlessly.

“Hey, Maddie.” She didn’t smile, her face already set into a deep, worried frown. Buck shifted his weight from foot to foot awkwardly and then took an uncertain step back. “Come in.” Her smile was forced as she nodded and passed by him. He followed her and stopped at the doorway where his mate was still lingering. “We’ll be in the kitchen, Eds,” he said softly, hoping to convey that he didn’t need him for this conversation. The wolf’s eyes flicked suspiciously to his sister before returning to him.

“Alright. You know where to find me if you need me.” Buck could tell Eddie wanted to give some kind of affectionate touch to reinforce that he was there for him but that he was holding himself back in case Buck didn’t want Maddie knowing yet. Not willing to let it cause any kind of doubt or insecurity to rise up, Buck leant in to peck a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Thanks, sweetheart.” Eddie’s mouth quirked up and there was obvious relief in his eyes as he nodded. Buck wanted to roll his eyes at him again but settled for poking him in the ribs pointedly instead and led Maddie to the kitchen.

Maddie took a seat warily, eyeing him with her frown that had only become more severe. Buck avoided her eyes as he went about making them both some tea and then taking the seat opposite her. “That’s new,” was the first thing she said to him. Buck only shrugged, not in the mood to discuss his brand new relationship with his sceptical sister. “It that…wise…right now?” He narrowed his eyes at her.

“What is that meant to mean?”

“I just… You’ve been through a lot recently and I guess I’m worried you’re using Eddie as a crutch, like-“

“I am not ‘using’ Eddie in any way shape or form. I’ve been in love with him for over a year and you know that.” Her eyes widened and her mouth opened to defend herself but Buck steamed on determinedly. “Why’re you really here, Maddie?”

“You’ve been ignoring me!” He scoffed.

“Yeah, I wonder why.”

“Evan.” It was said sternly and rubbed Buck completely the wrong way; he barely stopped himself from flinching.

“If that’s the only reason you’re here you can leave right now.” The kitchen lapsed into a stifling silence but Buck refused to be the one to ease it for once.

She sighed and pressed her fingers into her forehead as if exhausted. Buck’s instincts wanted to comfort her and make everything better, no matter the cost, but he held firm. “You were crushed under a fire truck, Buck.”

“I’m well aware,” he responded dryly. Maddie’s head snapped up and she scowled at him.

“And then your leg tried to literally detach itself from your body and then you were caught in a tsunami and now you want to go back to work!”

“Madd-“

“What’s next, Buck, huh? Will your next hospital visit be your last? Are you going to go off of a cliff or get shot or get stuck in an actual fire or-“

“Keep your voice down,” Buck hissed as she got louder and louder, seemingly without any concern for little ears that might be listening. She thankfully fell silent again but now her eyes were filling with tears. Buck’s heart clenched and longed to comfort her but he knew he couldn’t give into her. Not about this.

“Maddie,” he started gently, holding out a hand and giving her a strained smile when she latched onto it. “I get that you’re scared; it’s been a rough few months.” He ignored her derisive snort. “And I know I have a dangerous job but I’ve always had a dangerous job.” He rushed on as she looked like she wanted to interrupt him. “And I’m always going to have a dangerous job. This job isn’t just a job for me, Mads; it’s part of who I am. So, no, I’m not going to switch to any of those desk jobs you keep sending me links to. And, no, I’m not going to stay on medical leave when I’ve been signed off completely by my doctor. And, no, I’m not going to hold back from doing the riskier rescues because that’s part of my job too and, moreover, it’s the role I have as part of the team, it’s why we work so well. The bombing, the setbacks, the natural disasters, they weren’t even anything that happened as part of any call, Maddie. They were all random things that could have happened to anyone else.”

“But they didn’t! They happened to you. You’re my little brother, Evan I can’t-“

“Exactly. I’m your little brother. You’re not my mate, my kid, or anyone else who might have a say in how I live my life. Maddie, I love you and you mean the world to me but I won’t let you dictate to me just like you have never let me dictate to you.” She opened her mouth to reply but slowly closed it again, her eyes roving over Buck’s face. Finally, she lowered her gaze to her cup of tea and her shoulders slumped in defeat.

“I’m sorry. I’m just scared.”

“Trust me, I get it. But you can’t expect me to fix your fear by changing my life just like I can’t expect you to change yours.” She looked back up at him with a bittersweet smile.

“You’re right.”

“I know,” Buck teased, pleased when it earned him a little laugh. Maddie let go of his hand to take a sip of tea, now looking around Eddie’s kitchen.

“So, you and Eddie, huh?”

“Maddie,” Buck groaned.

“Hey, you teased Chim and I for ‘not dating when we were dating’.” There was a twinkle back in her eye as she leaned back in her seat, settling in and brushing off the disagreement that had been haunting them since a truck landed on Buck and that had imploded when Buck ‘s leg sent him back to the hospital. Buck too felt the relief of the weight of it lifting off of him. 

“It was different for us-“

“Hardly.”

“It was! For one we had other people in our lives up until recently.” She raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “Okay, none of mine counted but you have to count Eddie’s wife.”

“I give you Eddie having a wife, but you moved in when she left and have been ‘not-dating dating’ ever since. Admit it.” Buck opened his mouth automatically to deny it but he couldn’t come up with a good rebuttal. They kind of had been doing the same dance Maddie and Chim had. They just had heavy baggage on both sides of the equation that had muddied the water.

“Okay, maybe, but I haven’t ‘moved in’” he muttered mutinously.

“Aha, I knew it!” She laughed loudly and pointed an accusing finger at him, not even acknowledging that Buck didn’t actually live with Eddie. Buck playfully bit at the air, making her snatch her finger back. “You heathen.” He bared his teeth at her threateningly.

His sister rolled her eyes with a snort but her expression quickly sobered again. “How are you, though?” His shrug didn’t feel nearly as nonchalant as he wished it would.

“I’m okay.” At her disbelieving look he added, “being here helps.” Her face softened with understanding.

“I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you,” he whispered tearfully in response to Maddie’s eyes welling again. “Stop that,” he grumbled, waving in her direction as if he could block her doe eyes.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m going to be a mess at the wedding,” she joked. Buck sniffed grossly and ignored his heart skipping a beat at just the idea of one day being married to Eddie.

“You think I’m gonna be any better at yours.” Maddie pulled a face.

“I’m not sure, if I ever get married again, that it’ll be to Chimney.” Buck frowned, putting his tea down in order to lean towards her.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you know it’s been difficult since Doug…” Buck nodded encouragingly when she glanced up at him briefly. “And, um, we’ve been doing okay as just friends but… I don’t know… recently… I just- it feels like he’s been pulling away the past few days. I don’t know.” He grimaced as something occurred to him.

“Since the tsunami?” She frowned questioningly but then, when she seemed to take the time to line everything up, it was clear the answer was yes.”

“Why would he-“

“He saw me in my lion form. It probably freaked him out and…”

“And got him thinking about me.” He cringed in apology.

“I’m sorry, I should have-“

“There was nothing you ‘should have’ done, Evan. Howie knows we’re both shifters and, even if he doesn’t know we’re the same, if he can’t handle you being a lion then he certainly can’t handle me being one,” she explained sadly.

“You’re not as big as me though,” he tried

“And everyone knows that a lioness is worse than a lion.”

“You’re more protective-“

“More violent,” she countered.

“You’re fierce but that doesn’t make you worse, Maddie.” The hard look in her eyes dissipated as she reached out for his hand again.

“I know but that’s what people think, and Chimney’s never been one to say much about shifters anyway.”

“He’s okay with me at work.” Buck said as the only defence he could think of. Chimney did have a history of not being the best with animals in general, be they someone’s shifter-form or a different species altogether; but it didn’t necessarily mean he would react badly to Maddie. His sister only made a noncommittal noise. Taking the cue that it was, Buck changed the topic onto catching up in general. He might have been mad at her but he’d still missed her.

Eddie curled around him when he found him sitting back at the kitchen table after Maddie had left. “Everything okay?” Buck leant back into his hold and started idly stroking the arm wrapped across his chest.

“Yeah. I think she’s going to stop with the whole ‘your death is imminent’ stuff now.” Eddie snorted into his neck.

“At least there’s that, I guess.”

“She was just scared, Eds.” The wolf sighed and let go to take the seat next to him. Buck wasn’t having that and promptly dragged his mate sideways onto his lap. Eddie sputtered as he staggered over and fell down on him but Buck was quick to pin him close. The wolf laughed but didn’t object, only wiggling a bit to be perched more comfortably as he laid his head on Buck’s shoulder and pressed a hand to his chest, lying flat over his heart.

“There’s a lot of that going around,” Eddie said eventually.

“You told Bobby you were scared too.” Buck realised as he thought back over Eddie’s speech. He’d been so caught up in what Bobby was saying and how he was reacting; he hadn’t taken the time to think about everything Eddie had said.

“Yeah.” It was said on a sigh as Eddie nuzzled closer, his forehead pressed against the side of Buck’s throat. 

“Sweetheart. It’s going to be okay.”

“It might not be.” Buck sucked in a breath, closing his eyes.

“Are you- Is this- Do you not want me to go back?” That had Eddie straightening in his hold and looking into his face. Whatever expression Buck must have been making had Eddie looking more than a little alarmed and swinging himself around until he was straddling Buck and his hands were cupped around his face.

“Of course I want you back, cariño. I want you by my side always. It doesn’t mean I’m not going to be scared. I’ve almost lost you three times in less than six months, Evan, I think we’re all entitled to be just a bit terrified. But I’m going to do my best to not let my fear affect you. I’m not Bobby and I’m not your sister.” Those beautiful brown eyes stared into his earnestly and Buck felt all of the tension drain out of him. Eddie clearly felt it too because he tenderly glided his hands over Buck’s cheeks and down to the sides of his neck. “Amor, I’d never ask you to change any part of yourself; I love every single part of you.” Buck felts tears pricking at the back of his eyes.

“I don’t think the tsunami should count,” he said mostly to lighten the mood but also half-serious. He was rewarded with Eddie leaning back and a full view of the baffled incredulity on his face.

“How exactly do you figure that?”

“I mean, it didn’t feel like a near death experience for me.”

“Because you were worried about Chris?”

“Because so many people had it so much worse than me; I barely got a few scratches.” Eddie’s brows furrowed and he used a finger to trace just under where the worst of Buck’s cuts hadn’t fully healed yet. Buck was fairly confident it was going to leave a faint scar and couldn’t help but be worried that the constant reminder of what he’d put Chris through would wear on Eddie eventually.

“Evan, you were on the pier when the wave hit; it doesn’t get much worse than that.”

“Okay, yeah, but-“

“No, buts. I could have lost you both right then and there. If you hadn’t found Chris in the first wave, if you hadn’t got him on the fire truck, if you hadn’t found him again later; Chris might not have made it. And if you had been less healed, or if you’d been knocked out when you hit your face, if something had gone wrong with your shift, or you hadn’t reached the VA; you might not have made it either. Both of you would have just been gone, Ev.” Eddie’s voice cracked and Buck tucked him closer, rubbing his hands over his back comfortingly.

“I-I know.” He purposefully didn’t bring up that if Buck had just kept an eye on Chris half of those ‘what ifs’ wouldn’t exist.

They were quiet for a while as Eddie got his heavy breathing back under control and Buck curbed the tears trying to fall from his eyes. “I shifted because my leg was hurting and I couldn’t walk through the water to find Chris on one and a half legs. Figured three would make better odds.” Eddie laughed but Buck could hear the pain and sadness in it.

“Had to have hurt,” was all he said as he leaned back slightly to look at him again. Buck knew he wanted to say Buck shouldn’t have risked it but they both agreed that Christopher would always come before everything else, including each other.

“Yeah, but I had to do it.” Brown eyes turned soft and soulful.

“I know you did.” Buck exhaled, something relaxing deep in his chest, that he didn’t even know had been tight for so long, at the pure acceptance and understanding. They leaned in to breathe each other’s air, sitting that way until Chris came into the kitchen and groaned loudly. They grinned at each other before getting up to tackle Chris with obnoxious, incessant kisses as the kid squirmed and shrieked with laughter.   

Chapter Text

Buck was up and out of bed at the first chime of their alarm. He’d woken up an hour ago and hadn’t been able to get back to sleep but he also hadn’t wanted to wake Eddie. The wolf had woken up with him every time he’d had a nightmare this past week (and there had been a few nights where he’d had more than one) so Buck was happy to let him sleep for as long as he could. It had meant, though, that he’d had to lie still and hadn’t been able to get rid of the nervous energy building in him. 

Today was his first shift back. Part of Buck was almost dreading it, only because he had a feeling that Bobby (and probably Chim) wouldn’t exactly be happy to see him. Hen, he wasn’t entirely sure of but he had received a few texts from her, just to check in, and he hadn’t felt like there was anything lurking between the lines. Based on the texts at least. Eddie of course was very vocal about being happy to have him back but Buck knew he was also anxious about it. Not that Eddie was making it obvious but Buck knew him just as well as Eddie knew Buck so there wasn’t really any way for the other shifter to hide it from him. Not least because every time it was brought up Eddie’s scent became spicy.  

Eddie grumbled when his eyes slit open and spotted Buck already across the room. “…up s’early?” The question was muffled against Eddie’s pillow, Buck could only barely make it out but he understood the gist of what he was trying to say. He stepped back over towards the bed and leant down to cup Eddie’s cheek and place a quick kiss on the half of his mouth that wasn’t buried.  

“Day’s a wastin’, baby.” The grunt he got in return was probably because of the exuberance in his voice. Eddie was not a morning person at all. With a smirk, he pressed another longer kiss into Eddie’s mess of a bedhead. “I’ll get the kid up and breakfast started.”  

By the time Eddie stumbled out to the kitchen, frown firmly in place as he squinted against the light, Buck and Christopher were trading silly faces over their scrambled eggs. The wolf slumped down into the seat next to Buck and immediately tipped sideways to bury his face against his neck. An arm also slithered over Buck’s stomach and curled around his waist, holding on tightly. Having gotten a lot of his excess energy out on the eggs, Buck was able to lean right back into him and use his scent to soothe the last of his nerves.  

“Dad,” Chris groaned in exasperation.  

“Buck was out of bed so early I didn’t get my cuddles so you’ll have to put up with it today, bud,” Eddie muttered into the skin of Buck’s throat. It took a considerable amount of his willpower to not let his body react to the sensation.     

“The early bird catches the worm,” Buck informed him as he brought a hand up to run his fingers over Eddie’s nape comfortingly.  

“Don’t want worms,” was grumbled in reply, Eddie somehow wriggling even closer until he was practically in Buck’s lap.  

Though Eddie was affectionate all the time with him now, this was a level normally reserved for when it was just the two of them alone, late at night. He didn’t mind in the slightest but it did make him feel a bit guilty since he was pretty sure part of the reason was Eddie’s own nerves about Buck being back at work today. But if the way to help Eddie feel better was to let him cuddle him all day long Buck would be more than happy to sacrifice his body for the cause.  

Eventually they did have to separate to get ready, Eddie making sure Chris got sorted whilst Buck made his lunch and then both of them rushing through a quick change and then they were out the door. Buck drove his Jeep and got Chris hugging him from the backseat as Eddie jumped out to take him into the school. “I hope you have a good first day, Buck!”  

“Thanks, buddy, I’ll see you after our shift, okay? Have a good day.”  

“Bye, I love you!”  

Buck froze, tears instantly welling as he tried to choke out “I love you too” before the boy was being whisked away by Eddie. His mate gave him a pointed but fond look as they left.  

He still hadn’t got himself fully together by the time Eddie came back. He received a chuckle and a hand curling around the back of his neck immediately. “Cariño.” Buck let himself be towed into Eddie’s embrace.  

“I just wasn’t expecting it,” he mumbled into Eddie’s shirt.  

“Why not? It’s pretty obvious he loves you. Has been for a while.” Buck just shook his head in answer. “Look, I know we haven’t talked about it and now is probably not the best time but I need to hear you say that you know I love you, that Chris loves and that… he’s our son.”  

“Eddie.”  

“He is, Ev. Come on you know he is; you do everything I do with him, love him like I love him, how could you not be a father to him?” The tears that had been drying up returned with a vengeance. “Buck, baby,” Eddie cooed, tucking him further into his arms.  

“I- I know I love him like he’s mine but I didn’t think he would- that he could- that you’d be-“ He broke off into sobs, clinging to his mate.  

“Of course he does. Of course I do. You are everything to us, Evan Buckley, and I will remind you of that every day if I have to.” 

“Thought you wanted to prove that I was worth something for the rest of your life? Don’t think you’ll have time, Eds,” Buck tried to tease as he sat back up and scrubbed at his face harshly. Eddie caught his hands before he could rub his face raw, giving him a tender smile.  

“I can multitask.” Buck snorted and then sniffled.  

“Yeah, okay.” The wolf leant in and pecked a quick but soft kiss to his lips.  

“I love you.” Buck gave him a watery smile.  

“Love you too.”  

“You want to get to your first shift back now?” That made Buck laugh brightly.  

“Yeah, yeah, let’s do this.” Eddie placed a hand on his knee as Buck finally pulled out of the parking lot.  

“You’ve got this and I’ve got your back.” He picked up Eddie’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it before placing it back down on his leg.  

“And I’ve got yours.”  

Buck was practically vibrating as they entered the station and made their way to the locker room. A few people called out warm greetings, which Buck returned eagerly, but there was no sign of his crew members yet. Buck could only hope that it wasn’t a sign of how things would go today.  

Once in uniform, Buck bounced on his toes as he waited for Eddie to finish up. His mate rolled his eyes and inclined his head. “Alright, come on.” He grinned widely and rushed out of the room, taking the stairs to the loft two at a time as Eddie jogged behind him. Before he could search the loft for his team there was a startling shout.  

“Surprise!” He jumped out of his skin, eyes wide as he took in the grinning faces aimed at him and a large banner that read, ‘Welcome back, Buck!’ It was a miracle he didn’t burst into tears again.  He was engulfed in various hugs, Hen’s lingering the longest. She pulled back to prod at his neck as she tutted.   

“Eddie, he’s supposed to be healing,” she scolded. Eddie shrugged unrepentantly, already stuffing his face with food from the buffet. She turned back to him with a soft smile. “I’m happy for you guys.” 

“Thanks, Hen," Buck returned meaningfully. He saw as her face turned teasing and already knew what was coming.  

“No PDA in front of me though.” He rolled his eyes.  

“Seriously, Hen-“ he started to reassure her but Eddie interrupted by throwing an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close so that they were pressed together shoulder to hip.  

“You’ll get used to it,” the wolf said dryly. Hen wrinkled her nose.  

“God, you two are going to be insufferable.” Buck smiled helplessly.  

“Can you blame me?” That got him an eye roll and a pinched cheek before she moved away to let the next person greet him.  

As the commotion was winding down and Buck had been chatting with people for a while, Eddie staying at his side the entire time, he realised that he’d yet to speak to two specific people. He knew they were there, having caught glimpses of them as he was passed from person to person but neither of them had made any effort to approach him yet. Eddie seemed to sense the tension rising in Buck, curving a hand around his hip and rubbing his thumb in soothing circles.  

“You want to go find them?” he murmured into Buck’s ear. Buck shook his head, trying to swallow down his anxiety. “You sure?”  

“If they wanted to speak to me, they would; I’m not going to force them.” Eddie grumbled and huffed but didn’t force the issue, thankfully. 

The bell rang not too long after and Buck found himself smiling again as he headed for the stairs. “Buck, you’re man behind.” He froze in place, Eddie stopping with him to shoot an incredulous look at their captain.  

“Cap-“  

“That’s an order. Let’s go, Diaz.” Eddie gave him a squeeze.  

“Buck, I-“  

“Go, Eddie.” He tried to smile reassuringly at him but Eddie only grimaced. “Be safe.”  

“Love you,” Eddie called over his shoulder, frustration clear as he ran for the truck. As Buck watched them pull out of the bay, standing alone, he thought maybe he’d been right to be worried this morning.  

Eddie had to grit his teeth to stop himself from snapping at his captain. He knew exactly how insecure and disheartened Buck had to be feeling right now and every instinct in him told him to jump to his mate’s defence. And he would have but, unfortunately, he had to keep himself in check and focus on the call first. After the call would be another story entirely.  

When they jumped out of the truck and saw the large apartment building engulfed in flames, he couldn’t help but shoot a hard look at Cap. The man didn’t return the look, jumping straight into divvying them up, but Eddie knew he felt it. He pushed himself to get in and clear the floors as quickly as possible before he could finally make his way outside to man the hose.   

Hours later the fire eventually burnt itself out and another crew came in to take over.  He dragged himself into the back of the truck, filthy with sweat and grime, and nose wrinkled against the smell of his equally disgusting teammates. “I’ll take us offline for an hour when we get back to give us all a chance to wash up and rest,” Cap informed them. That brought all of Eddie’s frustration roaring back to the surface.  

“Sure would have been easier with an extra pair of hands,” he sniped pointedly. He watched as Cap’s shoulders tensed up but the man cowardly didn’t turn around or acknowledge him.  

“I mean, he needs to… ease back in, right?” Chimney said unprompted. Eddie pinned him with his glare immediately, making the man pale and avoid his eyes. Eddie was pretty sure his eyes had gone a very wolfish amber.  

“He’s been cleared for full active duty by his doctor.” Eddie very determinedly didn’t snarl.  

“Yeah, but-“  

“But what? Were you held back when you came back after having a rebar through your brain, Chim?” Hen snorted next to him.  

“No, he was not.”  

“Exactly.”  

“No, but I was… I-“  

“You were what? Given medical clearance? Trusted to make your own decisions about yourself? Welcomed back with open arms?”  

Cap had gotten tenser and tenser during their exchange and now finally turned around with a stern look aimed at Eddie. The part of Eddie that was used to obeying his team leader’s orders and that had been taught to never talk back, withered under the stare but a bigger part of him puffed his chest up. He would defend his mate with everything in him if that was what it took but, more than that, he would have defended Buck even if they didn’t know each other. The cat shifter had been through hell and had come out the other side in more or less one piece; he deserved having his own autonomy respected at the very least.  

“Eddie, I understand you have a stake in this as Buck’s partner but you need to separate your personal relationship with your professional-“ He cut him off with a harsh laugh.  

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you, Bobby; I’m not the one having trouble separating my personal feelings from my professional decisions.”  

“Edd-“  

“If I have to go above your head for this, I will. How will the Chief view you holding back one of LAFD’s best firefighters for no good reason? Especially after all the attention he got with the tsunami.”  

“Buck has been through a lot of trauma recently and he’s only just-“  

“He’s been cleared. Give me one good reason why you’re not letting him do the job he has been fully, professionally, unequivocally cleared for.” Bobby’s mouth snapped shut and he frowned at Eddie for a long moment. He didn’t break the stare.  

Finally, the captain turned back around without a word. It was silent for the rest of the drive back.   

Eddie was still seething when the truck pulled back into the station. They piled out and shucked their gear, immediately heading for the showers. Eddie was the first back out though, eager to check on Buck. He rushed up the loft stairs and faltered when he saw Buck placing what looked like a dish of steaming lasagne in the middle of the set table.  

“Hey, Eds, everything go okay?” That got him moving again, taking a few long strides until he could take his mate in his arms, nuzzling into his neck and breathing in his scent deeply. Buck wrapped him up in his arms and tilted his head to give Eddie more access.  

“It was a big one.”  

“Yeah,” Buck sighed. Eddie sneakily gave him a quick lick, smiling as he pulled back far enough to see Buck’s scrunched up face. “You’re gross.” Eddie smirked at him.  

The scent of the food wafted over to him. Eddie twisted his head to get a better look. “Is that lasagne?” He asked, mouth already watering.   

“Yup. Had the time.” He quickly faced the other shifter again at his despondent tone. Lifting a hand to his cheek, he tried to reassure him.  

“I know, cariño. Don’t worry though I’m gonna get through his thick skull even if I have to use a chisel and hammer, okay?” His chest warmed when Buck huffed a small but genuine laugh; his instincts stupidly pleased, seeing it as providing for his mate.  

“Maybe don’t go that far; you don’t want to be effectively fired too.”  

“You are not effectively fired and I won’t be either. We’ll get this sorted.” Buck gave him a strained smile and Eddie just knew he was going to try and make light of it like he did everything else. He wished he felt comfortable enough already to not pretend with Eddie but realistically he did know that that was going to be a long process. Eventually they would get there. He would make sure of it.  

“On the bright side, I’ve done your chores so at least you can put your feet up until the next call.” Eddie fixed him with a stern stare.  

“That is not a bright side unless you’re there with me. I don’t want you doing my chores for me,” he reprimanded softly. Buck immediately melted into his arms.  

“Well, I had to do someone’s chores and I figured I was allowed to show some favouritism with who’s I started with.” The cat fluttered his eyelashes with a too innocent expression. Eddie narrowed his eyes at him and pulled him closer, nosing back into his neck.  

“Don’t think you can cute your way out of this.”  

“Mm, no?” Buck asked guilelessly, not-so-sneakily sliding one of his hands into Eddie’s back pocket.  

“Buck,” Eddie grumbled in warning.  

“What?”  

“Don’t give me that; you know what you’re doing.” Buck’s mouth lowered to whisper into Eddie’s ear, the puff of air making Eddie shiver involuntarily.  

“What is it I’m doing?”  

Before Eddie could retort, they both heard the footsteps coming up the stairs and split apart with mutual forlorn sighs. “You’re a menace,” Eddie accused as he took his seat. The other shifter dropped into the seat next to him and then shuffled it over so that they were pressed together from ankle to shoulder.  

“So you’ve said,” he replied, completely unrepentantly. Eddie jabbed him in the ribs in retaliation and got an affronted yelp out of him.  

Hen appeared then, giving both of them suspicious looks as she sat across from them. “I meant it; there better be no funny business between you in the station. I do not need to be scarred for life thank you very much.”   

“You don’t want to hear my lion jokes now that I can tell them? Hen, I’m offended,” Buck said with an exaggerated pout. Eddie was very proud of himself for not pouncing on it. However, the footsteps that had followed Hen up faltered so obviously at the reminder that any exasperated reply Hen might have made at Buck’s purposeful obtuseness was instantly shut down.  

He felt Buck tense against him so he dropped his hand to his thigh, hoping it might help soothe his nerves. And if it helped curb his own temper then all the better. “Uh, hey, Buck.” Chim slowly sat in the seat next to Hen, his eyes flicked vaguely in their direction but he never made actual eye contact. Buck slid down in his seat a little and hunched his shoulders in as if trying to make himself smaller in the face of Chimney’s obvious wariness. It made Eddie want to bare his teeth and prove that he was much more of a threat to the man than Buck could ever be. Shifter-form be damned.  

“Hey, Chim,” Buck replied softly, not even looking towards him. Eddie made eye contact with Hen, her own face was filled with worry and frustration. The tense atmosphere was not made any better when Cap took the seat at the head of the table on Buck’s left.  

“This looks great, Buck.” The compliment couldn’t have sounded more false and resulted in Buck’s head dipping down, his hands moving to his lap and beginning to pinch the skin on his palm. Eddie felt himself go stiff, flashing back to that night when Buck had told him about his brother. He moved his own hands to scoop up Buck’s and bought them to his lap, each hand entwining with one of Buck’s so that he couldn’t cause himself any damage. He rubbed his thumbs over the backs of his knuckles in the hope that the sensation would be enough to satisfy his anxious need to fidget.  

Hen was the one to break the awkward moment, smiling purposefully wide as she went about serving herself some lasagne. “It really does, Buck; I’m thinking dinner party at yours for the next team gathering.” If anything, the suggestion only worked to make Buck curl further in on himself. Much further and he’d be hiding under the table.  

Eddie released one of his hands so that he could serve both of them as soon as Hen was done and then passed the spatula over to Chim with a challenging look; he’d already started to tackle Cap so now it was Chim's turn. The man took it tentatively, not meeting Eddie’s eyes and barely mumbling a thank you. It was a miracle Eddie didn’t start snarling.  

Even with a free hand, Buck didn’t start eating though. Eddie squeezed his hand but got no acknowledgement. “Buck,” he murmured too low for the humans at the table to hear. He felt more than heard the cat’s sigh of defeat before he picked up his fork and started haphazardly stabbing at the delicious meal. He thought Buck might request his hand back to eat but he seemed happy enough to make a mess with his left. Eddie was fine with that; he had no intentions of letting go until he absolutely had to.  

Cap started up a conversation with Hen who, whilst happily chatting away, kept sending Buck worried glances. Eddie kept silent in support of Buck, and Chim looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but there.  

Just when he thought he might suffocate if he didn’t do something drastic, he heard someone else coming up the stairs. Buck tilted his head questioningly beside him but then bounced out of his seat with a small, desperate whine. Eddie was halfway out of his own seat to follow after his mate when Maddie appeared at the top of the stairs. Buck collided with her and immediately buried his head in her neck, clearly saying something to her though it was too quiet even for Eddie to hear. “Well, I had to be here for my little brother’s first day back. Besides you knew you were tempting me with all your lasagne texts.”  

Though Maddie’s words were innocuous enough, her eyes sceptically scanned the table, a fire in them that had even Eddie wanting to duck and cover. He was suddenly very much aware that big sister had had an inkling of how today was going and, despite their struggles recently, wasn’t about to let anyone here mistreat her brother. Eddie’s wolf wanted to rumble approvingly. His human side was still holding a bit of a grudge against the woman but he would never let it become a point of contention between them, not least because it would upset Buck.  

He retook his seat as Buck tugged Maddie over, the lioness taking the seat next to Eddie whilst glaring at Chim. As Buck sat back down and plastered himself back to Eddie’s side, he was relieved to feel that some of the tension had left his frame. Rather than capturing his hand again, he wrapped an arm around Buck’s shoulders to keep him more securely within his protection. He had the distinct feeling things would only get more heated now, even if Buck found Maddie’s presence reassuring.  

“So, how have your first calls back been, Buck?” It was abundantly clear from her tone and how she was glaring down the table at Cap that she knew Buck had been made man behind. Eddie thought Buck might try and protest but he stayed disturbingly quiet, not meeting anyone’s eyes.  

Cap glanced at Buck uncomfortably and, seeing his dejected pose, looked at Maddie with a weak smile. “Buck hasn’t been on any calls yet; we’re easing him back in.” Eddie’s snort was right on the heels of Maddie’s declaration of “bullshit”.  

“Look, Maddie-“  

“No, you look. I’ll be the first to admit that having Buck back on that truck is terrifying but he told me that I can’t expect him to fix my fear by making him change who he is. And he’s right. You are his captain first and foremost; if the doctors say he’s okay to be back and Buck says he’s okay to be back then you better have some damn good evidence to say he’s not. Because your fear isn’t it.”  

The table descended into complete silence, not even the sound of chewing, as they all ping-ponged their eyes from one end of the table to the other. Surprisingly it wasn’t Cap who broke the standoff but Chim. “Madd-“ Eddie was already shaking his head in exasperation before Maddie whipped her eyes over to him. Really the human should know better; where was his fear when it was actually warranted?  

“Don’t, Howard Han, or you’ll see what a lion is really capable of.” The man looked unsurely at Buck and then back at Maddie with a frown. Eddie looked at his mate to check in and saw he’d gone pale and was aiming wide eyes at his sister. It suddenly occurred to him, at the exact moment realisation crossed everyone else’s’ faces, that Maddie had just outed herself and it could quite possibly lead to their family history being blown wide open too. He squeezed Buck closer pre-emptively.  

“You’re a lion too?” Chim asked weakly. Maddie froze briefly and then seemed to decide that she wasn’t going to be fazed by her slip of the tongue.  

“And what of it?” Hen directed her gaze at Buck who turned towards Eddie to avoid it. He moved his hand from his shoulder to the side of his neck, tucking Buck's face into him so that his scent could hopefully soothe his mate.  

“I thought that… If Buck was turned and he’s a lion, does that mean you’re the one who…?” Hen asked hesitantly but Eddie was sure the reality of the situation was clear on Buck’s face right now.  

“No. No, um, Buck was- When he was young a-“ Maddie chewed on her lip nervously and was tense as a bowstring as she fumbled an answer. Eddie felt Buck inhale deeply and then he spoke, quiet but steady.  

“My mum bit me when I was a baby to try and make me a viable donor for my sick brother.” The silence this time was deafening.  

“E-Evan?” Maddie asked, voice trembling.  

“Sorry I didn’t tell you that I knew, Mads; I didn’t want to upset you.” He untucked his face to give Maddie a sad smile. Her eyes started welling with tears.  

“Did mum tell you?”  

“Dad. When I was seventeen.” Her face crumpled and the tears started trailing down her cheeks. 

As much as Eddie was still mad at her for never having told Buck in the first place, he couldn’t ignore the pain and guilt on her face. With him between the siblings and knowing Buck wanted to comfort his sister but needed Eddie’s comfort just as much right now, he took it upon himself to reach out a steadying hand to her shoulder. Dios knows her boyfriend wasn’t going to do it. He aimed a quick glare at Chim for good measure. Maddie leant into the touch almost as easily as Buck did. He had to wonder if they had both been equally starved of love growing up.  

“You- That’s why you left?”  

“Mostly,” Buck shrugged slightly, even though the move was made awkward by how close he was tucked into Eddie.  

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”  

“It’s okay,” Buck said, dropping his eyes down to his lap.  

It was very clearly not okay but thankfully, judging by her facial expression, Maddie also knew it wasn’t anywhere near okay. If Buck’s father hadn’t told him Buck probably would have spent his entire life ignorant not only of the existence of his own brother but also of how he came to be a shifter in the first place. The idea of that was completely unacceptable to Eddie and was why he wasn’t ready to let go of his small amount of animosity towards his mate’s sister. As problematic as that could turn out to be. Thankfully she was redeeming herself in other areas Eddie also had issues with her, namely her now showing up in support and defence of her brother after years of failing (from Eddie's viewpoint at least; Buck would never say as much). Especially against her own boyfriend.  

“I thought shifters weren’t supposed to turn kids?” Chim questioned, now actually looking at them. Eddie almost snorted; this was what convinced Chim that Buck wasn’t going to lunge for his throat at any moment?  

“They’re not,” Hen replied harshly, glaring at the table. She likely knew just as well as Eddie that any aggression even vaguely aimed at Buck would have the cat thinking they were mad at him, which couldn’t be further from the truth.  

He could relate whole-heartedly to the fury that shook her voice; it had been a hard-won battle when Buck had first told him to not shift and go on a murderous rampage. It had only been Buck’s scared, wide eyes that had made him keep his composure. Buck’s flinch after his initial reaction still haunted him but neither of them had been in the right place to be able to avoid it; Eddie too consumed with rage and Buck too blinded by pain. He hoped he had more than made up for it since.  

“They’re not bad-“  

“Don’t,” Eddie cut him off immediately, unable to hear Buck try and defend them again. Buck tilted his head up to look at him with a questioning noise. “They are bad people, Buck. I don’t give a shit if they thought they were nobly trying to save their other son; they could have killed you! Not to mention the excruciating pain they knowingly inflicted on a new-born, not having any guarantee you would even survive it.”  

“I don’t remember it.”  

“That doesn’t magically make it okay, Evan. If you’d heard I’d done that to Chris as a baby because I didn’t want him to be born human, how would you feel?” The cat bit his lip and didn’t say anything but he didn’t need to. “Exactly. So do not ever excuse what those people did to you.”  

“There’s a reason it’s a law, Buckaroo,” Hen added softly. Buck glanced at her briefly and then slumped back down against Eddie.  

“I’m sorry,” Maddie said tearfully.  

“Mads, I already-“  

“No. Not just because I didn’t tell you but because I- I always said that. I said they weren’t bad people, just bad parents. But Eddie’s right. They-they were bad people to you, Evan. And I’m sorry I didn’t protect you from them.” Buck reached out a hand over Eddie’s lap that Maddie latched onto desperately.  

“You were a kid too.” She was already shaking her head.  

“Maybe I couldn’t stop that but the rest of it? Buck, I left when you were eight, I just- I just left you with them!”  

“Maddie, you were still a kid then too; it wasn’t your responsibility to look after me.”  

“I looked after you since you were born because I knew they wouldn’t; that didn’t magically change when I went to college, did it?” Buck slowly shook his head, his hair tickling against Eddie’s chin. “Exactly.”   

The table fell silent once again, this time because none of them knew what to say, or even what they could say. What do you say to someone when they reveal their parents were okay sacrificing them for their brother? As was usually the way the bell rang before anyone could come up with something.   

"Buck, you're still man behind-"  

"Cap-" Eddie started to growl, Buck's hand in his being the only thing keeping him from leaping across the table.  

"-but we'll discuss you being on calls when we get back. You're in no mental state to be out there right now even if you insist that you are physically. Let's go, Diaz." All Eddie wanted to do was stick his claws in the captain and shake him until he was thinking rationally again but he had to get to the call and attacking your superior was, generally speaking, not the best idea either.   

Buck squeezed his hand quickly and then let go, sitting upright. He had to bite back a whine, his wolf instincts still feeling protective of his mate and compelling him to keep him close to keep him safe. In the end he could only plant a hard kiss on Buck's head before rushing down to the truck, a whine and a growl both fighting to be heard. After climbing into the truck and seeing Cap looking so unaffected it was the quiet growl that won. And if Chim tried to scoot further away in the confined space all the better. Eddie was not in a generous mood when it came to either man. If they made it through the rest of the shift unscathed it would be a goddamn miracle.    

Chapter Text

Buck quietly stood from the table to gather the half-empty plates, carrying them to the counter so that he could scrape the leftovers back into the dish to be eaten later. He hoped the team had thought it tasted good, the small amount they had time to eat at least. What with the call interrupting the dramatic scene, both keeping them from eating. He had been far too uncomfortable under Bobby’s and Chim’s respective hostile gazes to taste any of what he had forced down.

The jangle of cutlery clinking together jolted him from the half daze he’d fallen into and he hastily finished tidying up, all too aware of his sister’s watchful eyes on him the entire time.

“Buck-“

“It’s fine, Maddie,” he quickly interrupted. He should never have brought up the family drama in the middle of the shift in the presence of most of his pride. Really, he couldn’t believe he’d said anything at all but especially then and there. God, could he make his first day back any worse for himself? Poor Eddie was probably regretting everything right about now. Likely thankful he could escape Buck’s pitiful existence for an extended period of time in weeks. Buck tried not to let just how much that thought hurt show in case Maddie decided it was because of his confession and tried to pointlessly comfort him somehow.

“Buck, please, we should-“

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But-“ He finally turned to face her, meeting her big sad eyes.

“Mads, please. Can we just…not? Please.” She bit at her bottom lip but then slowly nodded.

“Okay. But I’m here whenever you want to talk, okay?” His forced smile was shaky at best but his siter smiled back, her dark chocolate scent giving her away just as surely as his salty scent did.

“I know. Honestly though I came to terms with… that… a long time ago.” Maddie shifted her weight restlessly, her arm curling around her waist. Unable to ever resist that particular look of hers he stepped forward to wrap his own arms around her. “I’m okay, Mads. Promise.” She snorted but didn’t pull out of his embrace

“No, you’re not.” Buck let himself smile sardonically as he put a bit of space back between them.

“Okay I’m not okay right now but it’s not because of our parents or you, okay?” She sighed and rubbed at her forehead.

“I’m sorry about Chim.”

“I should be the one saying that to you,” he replied gently. Her face scrunched in a way he knew was her trying to not let herself get upset.

“He’s been your friend for years.”

“And he was more than that to you.”

“Still, you-“

“Have other friends who more than have my back. Even now. You don’t have another boyfriend, Mads.” She chuckled humourlessly.

“I don’t have a boyfriend full stop.” He sighed and slouched back against the counter.

“No, I guess not.” Maddie leant next to him, her shoulder pressing into his arm.

“What a pair we are, huh?” Buck snorted.

“At least we’re in this together now.”

“Bright side.” They looked at each other then and inexplicably burst into hysterical laughter.

Eventually their giggles subsided and their manic grins dimmed into wistful half-smiles. “I should get going,” Maddie said though Buck could see the reluctance in her face.

“Thanks for swooping in to defend my honour,” he replied with a smirk. She rolled her eyes and elbowed him.

“I didn’t do a very good job of it.”

“You still came though,” he told her seriously. She seemed to hear it in his voice, meeting his earnest expression with one of her own.

“Always, baby brother.”

“Love you,” he murmured softly as he hugged her again for good measure.

“Love you too.” She made him promise to keep her updated for the rest of his shift and then left to get ready for her own. The firehouse was suffocatingly silent after she’d gone.

To distract himself he started in on Hen’s chores next. If Bobby could show favouritism he damn well could too.

By the time the crew returned, Buck had worked himself up past the state of restless anxiety and into numbness. Eddie was quick to find him again where he was restocking the truck. Sparing him a quick smile of greeting, he continued his task. His mate clearly decided he wasn’t having any of that and Buck quickly found himself gathered back in his arms.

“Edd-“

“Cariño.” That’s all it took. One endearment and Buck was done for. Folding like a wet towel, he tucked himself into the embrace. “How are you feeling after… all that?” Sighing, Buck nuzzled his nose into his mate’s neck. Surprising himself and probably Eddie too Buck answered honestly for once.

“Better that everything’s in the open. Worried how everyone’s going to react I guess.” The wolf hummed thoughtfully, his hand carding through Buck’s curls. “It’s nice to not have any big secrets hanging over me anymore but also kind of terrifying.”

“You feel like you’re completely exposed now.” He nodded fervently against him, relieved that Eddie got it. “There’s something you need to remember though, mate of mine.” Lifting his head he met Eddie’s sparkling brown eyes with a confused frown.

“What’s that?” The wolf looked delighted, leaning close to rub the tips of their nose together.

“You’re not alone in this; I’ve got your back always.”

“I know,” he said with a sappy grin.

“And I’d never leave you exposed to anyone.” Buck knew he meant it seriously but he couldn’t help an impish grin and sing song taunt.

“Pos-ess-ive.” With a growl, he was reeled into a biting kiss.

“With you? Always.”

Hearing approaching footsteps, they both put enough distance between themselves to be considered professional once again. The playful energy Eddie had miraculous managed to instil in him winked out immediately at Bobby’s appearance. “Come to my office, Buck.” Tensing up, he nodded stiffly. Eddie started to put the clipboard down to follow before Bobby held his hand up to him. “Just Buck.”

They shared a look; Eddie’s eyes filling with protective fury as Buck’s were filled with anxiety. “S’okay, Eds,” he tried to reassure him if only so he didn’t start a fight with their captain. Eddie’s nostrils flared as he obviously tried to calm himself down enough to let Buck go.

“Fine. But I’ll be there the second you need me.” Though the comment was for Buck Eddie said it whilst aiming a distrustful look at Bobby.

“I know.” Buck reached out to give his hand a quick squeeze as they started moving up towards the loft. Bobby didn’t look behind him to check Buck was following but it was impossible to miss how the peppermint rose in his scent during the interaction. He could only hope that it was Eddie’s antagonistic attitude causing it and not a portent of Buck being fired.

When they reached the office Buck did his best to not show that he was shaking apart at the seams. The closing of the usually open door behind him certainly didn’t help his nerves. However, Bobby didn’t take the seat behind the desk as he had expected – and how it had gone for all of his previous reprimands – so Buck hovered in confusion waiting for direction.

“Sit, Buck,” he was ordered with a wave to a rarely used seat against the wall. Sitting warily, he waited for Bobby to start his dressing down.

“First of all, I want to apologise.” Buck’s mouth fell open in shock.

“What?”

“Eddie and Maddie were right; I was scared. I am scared. You were under that truck because of me, Buck-“

“Bobb-“

“And seeing you like that is going to haunt me forever. Every time I look at you all I see is your face in pain: under the truck, in hospital, after the tsunami. Just you in pain. And I can’t stand it. I- I know I’m not showing it right, that I haven’t shown up for you the way I should have or even the way I wanted to. I’m just- I’m so goddamned scared that the next thing that happens to you is going to be the thing that takes you from me.”

The revelation hit Buck like a two by four. It was impossible to miss the care and genuine fear in Bobby’s voice now and the peppermint stinging the back of this throat only gave further proof to his distress. He wanted nothing more than to make it better. Yet like with Maddie and even Eddie this wasn’t something he could fix for them. And Bobby basically admitting that that was what he was trying to force Buck into doing also made him mad. Anger wasn’t a foreign emotion to Buck by any means but to feel it because of Bobby was. How were they supposed to move forward after this?

“Bobby, I- I understand, okay? I get that you- that you care and you’re scared but-“

“But I can’t expect you to fix my fear by making you change who you are.” Buck smiled briefly at having his words to Maddie recited back to him. “Firefighting is who you are, Buck, and the 118 is who you want to do it with and we want to have you with us too. As much as there was some relief not having you here because it meant you weren’t in immediate danger, I’ve also missed you.”

“The tsunami happened when I was off duty,” Buck reminded him gently. Bobby grimaced as he nodded.

“You’re right and I’ve been too blinded by my own feelings to see it. Eddie was right to say that I’m the one having difficulty separating my personal feelings from my professional decisions.” It was Buck’s turn to grimace. Even though he was thrilled to have Eddie standing up for him; it didn’t make it any less awkward that he was essentially having his mate stand up to his boss for him.

“Sorry, Cap, Eddie-“ Bobby raised a hand to stop him before he could finish the apology.

“Don’t apologise for having a protective mate, Buck. Eddie was well within his rights to call me out simply as a member of this crew let alone as your partner both on and off duty. I really am so pleased it’s working out between the two of you. Truly.” Seeing the proud smile on his face had tears welling in his eyes and a blush stealing across his cheeks. Ducking his head he couldn’t help but smile as he quietly thanked him.

“Now with all that being said,” the smile dropped from his face. “I need to check in with you and your ability to go out on a call. Not because of your previous injury-“ He immediately stalled Buck when he went to open his mouth to argue. “But because of the emotional scene at lunch. I need to know you’re mentally with it to go out with us.”

“I swear, Cap, I’m fine,” he insisted, feeling hope starting to return to him even under Bobby’s stern stare. “Honestly staying as man behind would be worse for me right now than anything else. I’m sorry it was such a scene but I’m kind of glad it happened. That everything’s out in the open now.” For a moment Bobby simply continued to stare at him and then he started to smile. Buck was helpless against smiling back.

“Okay. I’m glad that it was a good thing for you and if you want me to raise it with Athena-“

“N-No that’s… Thank you but no.” He couldn’t think of anything worse. The past was the past and he just hoped to God it stayed that way.

“Okay that’s your decision to make, Buck, but I want you to know the options there. No matter how long it’s been, okay?

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Okay, good. Well, then. Make sure your gear is sorted and I want you on the truck for the next call.” If it were possible to glow with happiness Buck thought he might have achieved it right then.

“Really, Cap?” Bobby chuckled though it seemed a little sad.

“Really. I’m sorry I held you back in the first place; it won’t happen again.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. But I’m going to work on it and I know if I slip again Eddie will be there to get my ass back in line.” A giggle escaped him as he blushed again.

“Yeah. I think he would to be honest.

“Oh, I know he would.” It was something Buck thought should upset Bobby but the captain only looked pleased and amused, with a hint of sadness lingering in the corners of his eyes.

On impulse Buck sprung forward to give him a tight hug and rub his head under Bobby’s chin. The man accepting it with a surprised chuckle and arms coming up to return the hug instantly. It’d been so long since he’d been able to scent his pride and he hated how distant they all smelled now. With Bobby giving the okay, Buck was going to make sure he fixed that with everyone as soon as possible. Well almost everyone.

Buck practically bounced out of Bobby’s office intent on heading down to the truck bay to find Eddie immediately. Except Eddie was leaning against the kitchen table, arms cross and eyes fixed on the office apparently already waiting for him. His eyes swept over Buck, made a brief detour behind him - likely checking on Bobby - before coming back to him. He wasted no time bounding over to him with a wide grin that probably said it all. The crossed arms relaxed as a smile started to form on the wolf’s face seconds before he collided with him. As he knew he would Eddie caught him, arms wrapping tight around him even as his body didn’t so much as flinch from the impact. It made him want to climb his mate like a tree.

“Whoa! I take it everything went okay?” The question was asked with an amused grumble. The spice in his scent fading as Buck leant back slightly to beam at him.

“More than.” Eddie lifted a hand to cup his cheek and then slid it down his jaw and around to his nape. Buck melted into the caress, flopping forward to press his nose into his pulse point.

“Good.” It was said more firmly than he was expecting but as he tilted his head he saw Bobby hovering behind them.

“Buck’ll be with us for the next call.” The arms around him tightened at the declaration said loud enough for everyone in the loft to hear.

“As he should be,” Hen agreed loudly, appearing next to them to squeeze Buck’s shoulder and send Bobby a warning glare of her own. It warmed him to have her support so clearly given.

“Thanks, Hen,” he responded shyly. She flicked him on the nose in retaliation making him hide his face in Eddie’s neck for safety.

“Don’t thank me, Buckaroo; only an idiot wouldn’t agree with that.” He huffed a laugh, turning to grin at her. “And don’t even think about using Eddie to hide behind when I’m scolding you.” His grin turned into a smirk.

“He’s my mate; he has to protect me.” Eddie scoffed though his arms stayed anchored around him.

“I don’t think it’s in the contract that I have to protect you when you provoke people on purpose.” Feigning hurt, Buck whined and leant back to look at him with his best puppy-dog eyes. Eddie narrowed his own eyes at him in warning. “Don’t give me that look.”

“You’re not going to keep me safe?” He asked in as pitiful of a voice as he could muster, fluttering his lashes and trying to get tears to well up for good measure.

“Buck-“ Eddie growled, his tightening hold giving away that it was working.

“I-I thought you said you would? Don’t you love me?”

Eddie threw his head back with a groan, muttering under his breath, “vas a ser mi perdición.”

“Eddie?” Buck asked in a purposefully trembling voice. The hand on his nape curled into his hair and pushed Buck’s face back into Eddie’s throat so he could feel the low growl vibrating against him. The other hand on his waist moved him so he was tucked perfectly into the side furthest from Hen.

“Leave him alone, Hen,” Eddie grumbled half-heartedly. Both his and Hen’s eyebrows raised.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” She exclaimed incredulously.

“Wish I was,” Eddie replied on a sigh of defeat. Buck wanted to wiggle with victory but he was held fast to his mate. “And you, don’t go provoking more people than I can fight off.” He pressed a kiss to the soft skin he was being held against.

“Of course, sweetheart. I love you.” As much as Eddie tried to posture, he couldn’t hide the blooming earthiness of his pleased scent.

“I love you too, baby,” he murmured into Buck’s ear. Hen made a disgusted noise as she threw her hands up before walking away.

He listened absently and she tried to convince Bobby to enforce a rule that Eddie wasn’t allowed to interfere and was promptly told that, as Buck’s mate, Eddie was allowed to interfere anywhere Buck said he could and if Hen wanted to go up against that she was more than welcome to try. He and Eddie chuckled as they remained wrapped up in each other; both of them content to stay right where they were until the next call since Buck had completed all of their assigned chores already so there was nowhere else they needed to be.

And if there was a gaping hole of barbs and quips that would usually accompany Hen’s joking tirade then Buck was just going to ignore it. Bobby’s issues might be something Buck could work on but there was nothing he could do about Chim’s issue if it was for the reason he thought it was. He wasn’t sure there actually was anything that could fix that, so he had decided it was best left well enough alone lest any effort on his part to cross that bridge resulted in the whole thing burning down.