Chapter Text
Have you ever heard of The Hedgehog's Dilemma?
If not, it is a metaphor conceived by the Human philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer. Using this metaphor Schopenhauer describes the difficulties inherent to social interaction between Humanity. That any intimate relationship Humans have with each other causes substantial mutual harm.
Yet even so these Humans are drawn to each other.
They love each other.
Even when they lose that love.
When the emotional pain destroys them.
They might love someone else but…
They don’t stop loving that person.
But then again…
What if they didn't have to?
What if the impossible happened?
And the loss was reversed. That someone who seemed identical to the one lost appeared.
Most people would jump on it. They’d take the opportunity to regain their lost love and no other Human would blame them.
But that’s the thing it’s impossible. Once someone dies, they can’t come back sure you might find someone similar but they’ll never be the same person.
Never laugh the same. Never cry the same. They’d like different things. Act in different ways.
But maybe that doesn't mean anything. Maybe you can still love a new person as much as the person you lost.
Someone who was just filling a hole can mean even more than the loss. Not replacing them, never that.
But adding to you in new ways. New experiences. New likes. New loves.
Maybe you do the same. You give them new love and new experiences.
Would that be worth the pain you went through?
In the millennia I have observed this planet called Earth I have become convinced. Through the actions of so many of its heroes… That yes. Love is worth the pain it takes to get there.
In fact, I believe that two heroes, native to two while different still very similar Earths. Will find themselves with the opportunity to experience what I have described.
My name is Uatu and it is my duty to watch these events as they unfold before me.
Ok, so my name is Peter Parker and I spend my time protecting the streets of New York City as Spider-Man.
It all started when I went on a class trip to Oscorp where we were shown genetically modified spiders. These spiders were stronger, could move faster, jump higher and untold other abilities. Everything about them was better than a normal spider. But what the scientists didn't know was that if the spiders bit someone they’d get superpowers.
From the spider bite, I got superstrength, precognitive reflexes, greater flexibility and the ability to cling to any surface. But the powers went to my head, I used them to try and make some money quick. I went into wrestling and I won a couple of times. No one else could compete with my enhanced abilities so it was quick easy money…
But it went to my head so quickly. There was a robbery I could’ve done something but I didn’t and so my Uncle Ben died. It… It hit me hard. So I made a promise, remembering my Uncle's words. I have great power so I have a great responsibility to help people. To keep things like what happened to him from happening to anyone else.
So I did. In the almost two years since he died, I’ve done everything I can to save people. To live up to the responsibility I have. But it didn’t take long for things to escalate. Soon it wasn’t only common crooks stealing handbags or holding up bodegas. Soon the monsters began crawling out of the woodwork. But at first, it didn't make a difference to me.
Because at first, the monsters were just goons with fancy tech. Suits that let you fly but you look like a vulture or give you super strength but you look like a Rhino. Gauntlets that vibrate strong enough to shoot energy blasts and break apart concrete. But while those guys were easy it-it didn't take long for the monsters to get worse.
First was the man of living lightning. That was the first time I almost died. I had to completely remake my web-shooters and suit so they could withstand the power the guy could generate. Then as if a theme was presenting itself there was a range of people who had control over the elements. Mark Raxton was transformed into a man of magma by an accident where he worked. Flint Marko's entire body got ripped apart, which somehow also gave him control over sand.
But the real monsters…
The real monsters didn’t have bodies of sand or lightning or even fire. The real monsters were men. Men of science who went mad with power. The first was the father of one of my best friends, Norman Osborn. But now he mostly goes by Green Goblin. All because his company lost a military contract for an experimental serum. he ignored what everyone knows and got high on- no I can’t joke about him…
Next was Otto Octavius. A man, I admired who went mad when the arms he used for the more delicate aspects of his experiments fused with his spinal column. Losing his ethics he wouldn't let anything stop him from finishing his life's work. Not even human lives… So I stopped him.
And almost like the universe was gunning for me specifically. The last monster was my mentor, Dr Curt Connors. In an attempt to give people back their lost limbs, he turned himself into a mindless lizard with delusions of grandeur. So I stopped him before he could turn New York back to the Triassic Period.
So with those guys showing up things got harder, but they were still manageable. I might not’ve gotten enough time with my friends but they understood.
And even with the less time I was spending with her… Gwen was still willing to go out with me. I have no idea how I managed it but we were happy… we were happy. I keep telling myself that… And that it was all worth it.
But anyway that’s everything from the spider bite to a month ago…
God, it’s already been a month since-since she-since Osborn-since god. I don’t know how I’m still going. I’ve barely seen Aunt May, I-I can’t look at Harry. I know he had nothing to do with it. He doesn’t even know how she-how. He doesn't know his dad killed one of his best friends and tried to kill his other one. All Norman got was crimes undisclosed and Gwen was murdered by the Green Goblin. Even insane murders can be rich enough for lawyers good enough to protect their legacy.
But even if I tell myself that it isn’t… I know it's my fault. Osborn came after her to get to me. He’d already failed to break the spider. So when he found out who the man was, he broke the man. Killed the love of the man’s life.
So I’ve thrown myself into Spider-Man. It’s the least I can do for Captain Stacy. I couldn’t go to the funeral. I couldn't offer any substantial help to a man grieving his daughter. But what I could do-what little help I could offer the man was to help him keep the streets clean. To try and make up for killing his daughter.
So that’s it. that’s the life of the Spectacular Spider-Man saving the lives of everyone but his girlfriend. But I’m managing. Sure I’ve cried myself to sleep every time I have actually slept, but that's no different to exam season.
And what else can I do no one else has the powers I do, no one else has the responsibility… And I’ve learnt now. Friends get hurt and even die. So I don’t do friends. Harry finally stopped trying to call me and I was always a loner.
So now I go to school, I do my Spider-Man stuff and sometimes I go home. That is the life of the Spectacular Spider-Man.
I’m lonely. I’m probably burning myself out, and some would say I’ve lost everything worth living for…
But I deserve it.
So I keep living.
I keep going.
Without her.
Alright then. Hi, I’m Gwen Stacy, But more commonly nowadays I’m known as the one and only Spider-Woman. For the last two years, I’ve protected the streets of New York from common criminals and Matt Murderdock.
It all started when I was bitten by a genetically modified spider. Giving me superpowers… and I loved it. Sure it cut into my band practice with the Mary Janes but it's not my name on the bass drum. And try as I did to still spend time with him, it took me away from my-my boyfriend.
And sure it started out as just looking for fame, ooh look at the girl who can play drums upside down. But my dad was right I could do so much more, and so I did. I met a retired superhero who gave me a costume and gear and bam! I was a superhero, and it was amazing. I finally understood why my dad fights for justice. The thrill of knowing you did the right thing. That because of you someone walks home that night who might not have otherwise. But to my surprise that made me even bigger.
The Spectacular Spider-Woman, The Amazing Spider-Woman, The Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Woman. All of it and more.
And it went along like that for a while. And it was great. I had my friends, I had the thrill of Spider-Woman, I had my band and the love of my life. But then it all went wrong.
There was a monster… and I tell myself I couldn't have known it was him. I try to tell myself I couldn't hear his voice between the roars of an animal. but it doesn't make a difference to anything that happened before…
I try to tell myself that I couldn’t have known. That Pe-He was too good at hiding it. Too good at lying. That there was no way I could've known what he was going through when I wasn't there.
That the billboards littering the city are wrong. That I didn’t kill my best friend. But I did.
It was my hands that broke him as a lizard so he couldn’t survive as a boy.
I didn’t spend the time with him he deserved because I was too busy living the high life. The thrill of saving lives. Ever since I haven’t stopped wondering if those lives were worth his. It’s horrid. I hate myself every time I think it because he’d hate the thought but I can’t stop myself.
If I had been with him. Shown him that Peter Parker was what let Spider-Woman be special. That Peter Parker was always special enough.
But what ifs don’t achieve anything. I killed him and I will have to live with it for the rest of my life.
So now I don’t. I don’t do friends. And since Murderdock started coming after me and Dad found out I was Spider-Woman. I stopped going to school too. I’m Spider-Woman full-time now. Saving people’s lives and always staying one step ahead of the police and ninja assassins.
That’s it. That's what the life of the Spectacular Spider-Woman is. It isn’t pretty. Some would say I lost everything worth living for.
But it's what I deserve.
So I keep going.
I keep living.
Without him.
Indeed the loss suffered by these two heroes is great. So great in fact that through their grief and connection to the Web of Life and Destiny, the very fabric of their realities is changing. But the most incredible part is the two realities seem to simply slot together.
An event that would normally spell destruction for both worlds simply isn’t. For no scientific reason I have been able to discover, the realities are simply merging. Simply one day soon there will no longer be two realities but one. The only link between the realities I can find is these two. The love the two of them had for each other’s alternate and the pain they both felt… Through their connection to it, The Web of Life and Destiny was doing the impossible.
The power of love was linking these two worlds and protecting them from the usual destruction inherent to Incursions. It was like nothing I had ever observed before.
In fact, one could almost describe it as the textbook definition of a miracle.
So once again I question, what if lost love could come back to you?
What if Gwen Stacy returned from the dead?
What if Peter Parker did?
But then comes the second half of my question.
What if they were different?
Would they be loved the same?
Could they still be loved?
Or would a new love spawn?
A stronger love.
My name is Uatu the Watcher. My duty is to observe… but now I ask the question…
What If?
Everything Was Different?