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"I was not staring!" Soldier grumbled, crossing his arms and turning away from Engineer with a frown. How could he even tell? Soldier's eyes are hidden just as they always are, behind the metal army helmet.
Engineer chuckles lightly and continues strumming the guitar idly. "Alright, Sol... I believe ya'."
He didn't.
Soldier stared even after Engineer had caught him, sitting on the dirty floorboards of the porch, his eyes focusing on the man's fingers strumming. He watches as Engineer's fingers dance across the thin metal. Such delicate, deliberate motions for how thick and calloused his fingers were, plucking at the strings lining the guitar's hollow body. Engineer had dexterity that Soldier couldn't comprehend; his metal prosthetic had an impossible smoothness to its motions as he fingered the chords. It was more than a well-oiled machine; it moved with organic fluidity– as if he were born with it.
As he watches Engineer play the guitar, an air of confusion and wonder spreads slowly across Soldier's face. His eyes are trained on Engineer's fingers as if trying to memorize every movement he makes.
"You're still staring, Soldier."
"How do you do that?"
"Sorry?" Engineer's eyebrows furrow. He didn't seem to expect the question. Soldier wasn't much for asking questions.
"Play the guitar, I mean. How?"
"You wanna learn, Sol?"
Soldier's frown deepens, but there is a hint of curiosity in his eyes. He hesitates for a moment before responding with an eager nod. Engineer's eyes light up with a mixture of surprise and delight at Soldier's response.
"Alright, sol," Engineer says, his voice gentle yet tinged with a hint of anticipation. "If you really want to learn, then I'll teach ya' everything I know." Engineer motions for Soldier to come closer, making him hesitate slightly before he scoots in.
"The first thing you gotta learn is the chords," Engineer hands his guitar over to Soldier, whose fingers immediately wrap around it.
Another frown forms on Soldier's face as he looks at Engineer, then the guitar.
"What- uh... How?"
His jaw tenses as Engineer chuckles to himself- he must have been making fun of him… right?
"C'mere," Engineer spreads his legs slightly and motions for Soldier to sit between them. Soldier moves and sits where he's told. He had a habit of taking orders without question, and it usually came back to bite him in the ass– Like now. He regretted sitting so close to Engineer's lap almost as soon as his tail-end hit the wood porch.
It was a strangely intimate gesture, and Soldier's breath caught a little as he nestled between Engineer's legs, gripping the guitar tensely. Soldier concentrates on the weight of the guitar in his hand, his heart thudding faster. He's nervous, excited, and... Confused. Mainly confused.
Engineer places his prosthetic hand over Soldier's, carefully manipulating his fingers into place.
"This is the G chord," Engineer rests his chin on Soldier's shoulder, focusing on the positioning of his hands. His warmth radiated through Soldier.
"The G chord?" Soldier asks, confused.
"Yeah, it's like this," Engineer presses down on Soldier's hands, moving them into the correct positions. Soldier winced.
"That's... Uncomfortable." Soldier mumbles, looking down at his hands. His fingers felt like they were being stretched, and he could tell that he was already close to cramping.
"Yeah, it's like that. It was like that when I first started playing, too. It'll get easier with practice." Soldier nodded at his words, trying to focus on what Engineer was saying, but his mind wandered.
He nodded absently as Engineer's cold metal hand manipulated his fingers, naming each chord as he went... But Soldier couldn't get over the feeling of Engineer's breath on his neck, the way his legs felt wrapped around Soldier, the soothing sound of his voice.
"You want me to go over the chords again before we go on?" Engineer asks, his breath on Soldier's neck still. Soldier's cheeks flush slightly, and he clears his throat, trying to regain focus. He shifts uncomfortably in his position between Engineer's legs, feeling a mix of emotions and sensations that he's not quite sure how to process. He glances at Engineer, who seems oblivious to his inner turmoil.
"Affirmative." Soldier replied bluntly, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice.
Engineer smiles warmly and adjusts his position, giving Soldier some space. He takes a deep breath and explains the chords again, his voice calm and steady. Soldier tries his best to concentrate, following Engineer's instructions and attempting to replicate the finger placements on the guitar.
Engineer pulls his hands away and allows Soldier to take control of the guitar. He finds that he misses the feeling of Engineer's metal hand on his fleshy one, but the feeling is almost immediately remedied by Engineer's warm, organic hand resting on Soldier's stomach.
His heart skips a beat as Engineer's palm settles on his midsection, the touch sending a shiver down his spine. He tries to focus on the guitar, the chords, and the lesson at hand… But the proximity between them and the lingering touch distracts his thoughts.
Soldier takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He reminds himself that this is a learning experience, a chance to acquire a new skill. Not some sinful excuse for a bonding moment.
Pushing aside his restless thoughts, he starts to strum the strings, albeit clumsily at first. He notices that Engineer's eyes are fixed on his fingers, watching him play. His eyes are a cool shade of green, and they're focused on Soldier as if he was a beautiful woman. He wasn't.
Soldier's fingers falter on the guitar strings, his playing becoming even more unsteady as he becomes acutely aware of Engineer's intense gaze. The air between them feels charged with an unspoken tension, and Soldier's cheeks flush with a mix of embarrassment and confusion.
He tries to regain his composure, focusing on the guitar in his hands and the chords he's supposed to play. But every time he steals a glance at Engineer, he finds those captivating green eyes locked onto him, filled with a paralyzing intensity.
Soldier's mind races, trying to make sense of his conflicting emotions. This was meant to be a simple guitar lesson, a chance for him to learn a new skill from a friend. But now, there's something more, an undercurrent that he can't quite grasp.
He feels a swirl of unfamiliar desires and sensations, his heart pounding in his chest as he tries to concentrate on the twang of the guitar. The notes he produces are a jumble of mismatched chords. A bastardized version of what Engineer had been playing not 10 minutes earlier.
He's never felt this way before, this confused and chaotic feeling. He can't focus. He can't even really pay attention to anything that wasn't Engineer .
Soldier was the definition of controlled chaos; a disciplined man with a wild, passionate exterior. He was falling apart now, his untamed exterior bleeding into his entire being. He was spiraling out of control. He felt like he was losing the battle within him, his mind and body betraying him.
"Engineer." he forces out, his voice cracking. His voice betrayed him too.
The soft, melodic tone of his friend's humming in acknowledgment sends a zinging shockwave through Soldier's entire body. His hands continue to falter on the guitar, strings and all, as his body involuntarily clenches the wooden guitar in his hands, preventing him from dropping it. It muted all the chords he tried to play.
"You Alright, Solly?" Engineer asks, his eyes now fixed on the guitar, watching as it almost slips from Soldier's grasp.
"Affirmative." He lies. Engineer pulls Soldier closer, his chest pressing against Soldier's back. He feels his entire body stiffen. Soldier's breath catches in his throat as Engineer holds him close, their bodies pressed together. The sensation of Engineer's warm body against his sends a surge of electricity through him, intensifying the whirlwind of emotions he's already grappling with. He tries to steady his trembling hands, desperately clinging to the guitar in a futile attempt to regain control.
He can hear the faint sound of Engineer's voice, but the words become distant echoes in Soldier's ears as his mind races with conflicting desires and a sense of vulnerability he's not accustomed to.
Soldier's heart pounds in his chest, his thoughts consumed by the proximity and the subtle movements of Engineer's body against his own. He's torn between the urge to lean into the touch and the instinct to pull away, seeking safety and distance. Each slight movement of Engineer's body sent a wave of heat through Soldier… he was almost positive Engineer was doing this purposefully.
He feels like he's being torn apart, yet drawn to this fragile, temporary bond as if it could strengthen him in some way beyond the superficial, physical bullshit. Training, torture, pain; he could take that. This was like each sinew of every muscle in his body was being stabbed with a hot iron brand in the shape of a heart with your lover's initials carved in the middle. Like being forced to endure some fucked up form of psychological warfare in the form of loving affection from your fellow soldier. He didn't want to raise the white flag. He didn't want to beg for mercy from Cupid himself. He just wanted to get back to learning what the hell a 'power chord' was.
The original plot has long since been lost; the only reminder of what got them to this point was the acoustic guitar that Soldier clutched like a safety blanket against his chest. He wanted to go home… not that he really knew where or what home is anymore… he just wanted to curl up in bed and forget. Forget Engineer, forget all that he's learned, forget…
"Jane..."
Jane. Jane. Jane. Jane.
The Soldier's real name slipped between Engineer's lips, his breath hot against the back of his neck. Jane… that was him. That was Soldier. Has he ever told Engineer his name? He didn't think so.
Jane… He hadn't heard his name used in such a tender way before... It was always a stern "mister doe" or a mocking Lilt behind his name, insulting his intelligence, his masculinity, his authority.
"Hm?" he hums, his pulse quickening as he loses all trust in his voice. He'd rather be shot dead than let Engineer hear the weak tremble he knew would be in his voice.
"Can I see you?" Soldier's heart skips a beat at Engineer's request, his mind racing with a mix of emotions. He turns his head slightly, his gaze meeting Engineer's intense green eyes. There's a vulnerability in that gaze, a hint of longing and something deeper that Soldier can't quite decipher.
"See me?" Soldier repeats, his voice barely above a whisper, the words laden with uncertainty
Engineer's hand on his stomach tightens slightly as if providing a grounding touch, reassuring Soldier that he's here, supporting him.
Engineer reaches up and places his prosthetic hand on Soldier's helmet, lifting it up to see his eyes.
"I want to see you," Engineer whispers. Engineer grabs the guitar gently and pulls it from Soldier's hands.
Soldier's grip on the guitar loosens as Engineer takes it from him, and his attention shifts entirely to the man behind him. His heart pounds in his chest, uncertainty mingling with a flicker of hope. He lets his hands rest on his lap, feeling strangely exposed without the guitar to anchor him. Engineer's touch lingers on his helmet, and Soldier feels a surge of vulnerability wash over him... Soldier's helmet is taken off, and the sudden cool air on his face feels strange and foreign. For the first time, Soldier and Engineer made eye contact, and in those eyes, he saw everything he's always wanted to see. There is no cruelty. No fear. No irreverence. There was only a gentle, caring warmth behind his cool green eyes.
For the first time, he feels like he's home.