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A few weeks had passed and Atsushi had met with Akutagawa off-duty a couple of times now. After the first few he had to ask him to stop waiting in the noodle aisle whenever he was free and wanted to spend his time with Atsushi.
Instead, their meeting spot had become the park. It was on the path between the agency and his apartment. So Atsushi would definitely notice the mafioso when walking by.
Most times Akutagawa would just walk him home. The port mafia kept him busy and sadly didn't give him as much free time as he wanted, to spend with the tiger.
But sometimes they did have time and on their little “dates”, they would walk hand in hand and Atsushi would talk about his day. They would try out food from around the area, whether from a new food stand or a cafe nearby. They would stay together til dark and then Akutagawa would walk Atsushi back home to his apartment.
Atsushi had once called him a ‘true gentleman’. That made Akutagawa turn away and scuff. He didn't miss the flushed cheeks.
That's what they've done every week for almost 2 months now and this wasn't exactly the first time Akutagawa hadn't shown up. Atsushi had waited by the park every evening since Friday and it was now Sunday. He should be more free on the weekend, right? But then again the port mafia didn't really follow the usual 9 to 5 workday standards so why would they have weekends free anyway?
It wasn't like he had a number to contact Akutagawa with. The man frequently went through burner phones and whatnot so Atsushi didn't have a way to call him. What made him even more worried was that Akutagawa knew his number and he hadn't called him .
It was the reason he had memorized it after their third date when Atsushi had fallen into an uncovered manhole and Akutagawa couldn't find him for a full hour.
On other occasions, the mafioso had sent him a message to inform him of his being late. So if he wasn't going to show up at all then he would at least let Atsushi know, right?
Or maybe the other had gotten tired of him or he had done something wrong. Were his palms sweaty when he held Akutagawa's hands and now he's grossed out? Or because he talks too much and he got tired of hearing his voice?? It could be either one!
Atsushi's mind wasn't being the kindest to him whilst he was already starting to worry about if Akutagawa maybe had encountered an enemy and they outran him because of his poor condition or he got hurt somehow. It has happened before on missions and Atsushi was always there to swoop him out of harm's way. But he wasn't on a joint ADA and Port Mafia collab mission right now so who knows what could have happened to him while he was not aware!
He knows situations like that are few and far between and that Akutagawa could handle himself in a fight.
Atsushi should stop overthinking before he starts losing hair.
But he couldn't help worrying! Not when he cared so much for the grumpy man. Atsushi was practically pacing in circles in front of the park entrance now and he was getting a few weird looks from the people around.
The last time they met was Saturday last week. Oh god, his body could have already started decomposing!
No no no. No need to go there. If Akutagawa had gotten critically hurt, Chuuya would know, and Chuuya would have told Dazai and Dazai would have told him. Maybe. If he understood their relationship correctly. Which he is unsure of because their mentors have a very strange partnership.
Maybe Akutagawa's just really busy and doesn't have anything to contact him with because the enemies took his phone and he's being imprison-
Gah, not again!
If Atsushi pulled any harder on his hair it would start coming off. Don’t jump to dumb conclusions, Atsushi! He berated himself.
Before his mind could hop onto the worry wagon again his phone rang.
His heart jumped up his throat and he scrambled to get the device from his pocket. The small tiger accessory wobbled as he almost dropped his phone twice. When he got it open and looked at the display screen to frown when he saw Dazai's name displayed on it and not the one his heart had been worried over oh so much.
He hurried to answer the call and brought it up to his ear.
"Atsushi! You should come to the agency, I found something you might likeee~."
And with that he was hung up on and Atsushi was left there standing confused and now maybe even more worried.
Better head to the agency then.
—
Today was one of those days. He could feel the cold Autumn air invade his lungs and leave an ache at every exhale.
He was especially likely to succumb to his illness when a chill was in the air. It made everything more of a pain than it usually is and should be.
He had been sent on a mission to destroy a base of a rather bothersome rising organization. They had finally located the main building of the operation after getting rid of some of the side locations they also operated in. He didn't bother waiting for his backup to arrive and went ahead to get it over with sooner.
He wanted to have time to meet with Atsushi today. Akutagawa had been too busy to find a phone and contact him all weekend but he wasn't going to make him wait much longer. He knows how his weretiger is prone to overthinking and he didn't want to make Atsushi worry any more than he already has.
Going alone probably wasn't the best idea. He managed to incapacitate most of the organization members without much of a problem, however, there were a few runaways carrying important documents the port mafia wanted him to collect.
This ended up with a chase around half the district and by the end of it his lungs burned enough to make every breath a testament of will to endure.
He overdid it, he knew. It had not been this bad in a while but that's what's so fickle about his damned lungs. His demise just comes and goes like it wants and he curses himself for not caring about it enough to take his prescribed medicine. He had a habit of being quick to ignore his problems if they weren't actively causing a disturbance.
And because of his ignorance and impatience, he had left the emergency doses for these exact situations at his residence at the port mafia.
Akutagawa tried to calm his fast breathing but to no avail. He felt like with each intake of the biting cold air did not give him enough oxygen and every other breath he ended up coughing and that added even more pain to his chest. The panic of not being able to breathe enough air with his mouthfuls was not helping his situation
At this rate Akutagawa knew from experience he would end up losing consciousness. So the priority is to find a safe place to pass out. Damn it , he would miss his outing with Atsushi and leave the man worried and probably overthinking again. He didn't like being the reason Atsushi's brain caused him distress.
His feet automatically started walking while he was lost in thought. He wasn't worried for himself, he would be fine. A few buildings away lays the ADA and deeming this a close enough distance to be out of danger he let himself collapse onto the pavement. His body was already exhausted from all the running around and the overtime for his lungs. But he will be fine now.
—
Atsushi rushed over to the ADA and immediately got poured over with a sense of relief when he got to see Akutagawa sleeping in one of the beds in the infirmary.
Not dead not dead- his mind chanted while he could finally relax at finally seeing the mafioso. Apparently, Dazai had found him face down on the sidewalk a bit down the street to the ADA.
He sat down on the floor beside the bed and rested his head in his arms. He could feel all the tension leave his shoulders at seeing Akutagawa peacefully breathing in his sleep in front of him. He could relax now.
Atushi was starting to doze off when he felt a familiar sensation curl around his wrist. He looked over to see Rashomon holding onto him. Atsushi closed his eyes again with a smile on his lips.
—
He woke up when he felt something besides his head stir. Looking up with drowsy eyes he saw Akutagawa sitting against the bedpost and staring at him.
“Hi, Atsushi.” He casually addressed him. Seeing Akutagawa awake and hearing him speak already made Atsushi feel better.
“Hi.” He smiled up at him. He remembered then that they were still in the ADAs medical office. “Doctor Yosano said that you passed out from hyperventilation.” Looking over at the clock Atushis saw that an hour had passed since he had got here.
“That's probably correct.” Nodding his head he averted his gaze from Atsushi. He wasn't the proudest at having admitted that he passed out after a normal day at work “I did have some complications after my mission”
“I didn't know your lungs could get this bad.” Concern laced in his tone as the space between his eyebrows wrinkled.
“They do sometimes.” He confirmed again. Akutagawa hadn't mentioned it because he didn't want Atsushi to worry about him more than he already did.
“Please don't push yourself too much. I've noticed that you sometimes come to our meetings and you're all jumpy with the way you breathe. We can do something else on our dates if you're tired.”
Akutagawa's gaze found its way back to the weretiger's mesmerizing eyes.
“We don't have to be outside if you're feeling burdened. We could always come to my place and just have some tea.”
Atushis gaze held so much warmth as it bore into Akutagawa. He had to look away again, this time for more flustered reasons.
"I'm sorry for not always being open with you." He mumbled. Suddenly feeling shy under the attention.
"It's alright, as long as you're here with me and safe.” Atsushi's words took on a more teasing tone. “Besides, I can always tell what you want."
"How?" Years with the port mafia had taught Akutagawa to be careful with how he makes his intentions appear.
"You might be able to hide your feelings. But Rashomon can't." He lifted his wrist to show the black tendrils that had been curled around Atsushi's wrist this whole time. He wants to disown his own ability. How dare it tell Atsushi he has feelings.
He looked away again and pushed his lips together. Atsushi took notice and pulled lightly on his shirt to encourage him to look back. “Hey, it's nothing bad!” But Akutagawa still didn't look at him.
How can he not be embarrassed with having his wants displayed for everyone to see.
They shouldn't matter, like to most people. But Atsushi notices, and then he cares. He cares more than himself. It's hard to suddenly get that. Accepting it is even harder when you've learned most of your life that your personal needs were insignificant.
Maybe it's what he needed. Someone to care about him when he didn't. Someone like Atsushi.
But Atsushi shouldn't need to care. Not for someone like him. It was his own shortcoming that the tiger had found something in him lacking and felt the need to help fix it. Like how he was bad at taking care of himself. The boy shouldn't have to do it for him.
If Atsushi was going to go through so much effort then Akutagawa had to make up for it somehow.
That would make it easier. He should help him back. So he becomes less of a burden.
He should start by voicing his wants. As the weretiger has told him many times. This time it would be easy. It wasn't for himself necessarily, it was for his partner.
"Atsushi." He was determined to make him hear his opinion.
"Yes?"
"You should take more breaks.”
It made Atsushi stutter "I-Im, not sur-"
"I notice how tired you are when we meet. You don't have to overwork yourself to prove your usefulness all the time." Others often forget but Akutagawa is quite an observer.
He had made the other not know what to say. The mafioso was very determined, however. And he made sure to tell him that through his eyes that were gazing into the stunned man in front of him.
While Atsushi stayed silent there was a knock on the door and it unpromptedly swung open. Dazai stepped in with a wave.
"Hi there, just wanted to check in, how are we feeling?"
Akutagawa turned to deliver Dazai an unimpressed stare. Atsushi was still sitting on the floor by his bedside. Awkwardly fidgeting with his hands.
With one glance Dazai could see what was going on. Oh how useful it was to have such a powerful working mind like his. The situation and the expressions they were both making when he came in. It was pretty telling.
"Atsushi, you should take the next few days off." He said with a smirk.
A shout came from the other room.
"IF YOU'RE GOING TO TELL OTHER PEOPLE TO TAKE TIME OFF, YOU BETTER START ACTUALLY WORKING SO WE DON'T FALL BEHIND"
They didn't even need to guess to know who that could be.
"Yeah yeah."
He said, closing the door on his way out.
Akutagawa was feeling well enough and he didn't want to stay at the agency any longer. He did want Atsushi to take that break and they still had their date after all.
"You sure you're alright to be walking?" Atsushi had asked the other.
"We won't be walking too long. It's fine." He grabbed the Atsushis hand as they started stepping out. The day had already felt too long.
Looks like both of them will have a nice long nap after getting home.
—
Kyouka moved out last week. She had saved up enough to get her own apartment in the building. Stating that now that Atsushi had a “ boyyyfriennnd~” , she exaggerated the words with clasped hands on her right cheek and a little swirl, she would only be in the way.
That statement left the weretiger staggering and red in the face. Saying that he didn't know what she was talking about.
Atsushi only had one room to act as a living room, kitchen and bedroom. But it was only him now so it didn't feel as cramped anymore.
They sat on his futon, a blanket around their shoulders and a table in front of them. They sat and quietly ate the takeout they got on the way. Both were tired and the apartment was cold. The heater had broken but luckily it was still early autumn so the weather wasn't terrible. Just a bit chilly come evening time.
The cold was bad for Akutagawa's lungs, it made him cough more than usual. Which made it hard to eat, since being in danger of coughing unexpectedly and choking on his food. And he would rather not.
They made it through their meal without any further trouble.
It had already gotten dark out. A lamp standing in the corner illuminating them was their only light source.
Atsushi had gotten up to put away the empty takeout containers and push away the table so they could lie down on his futon.
Ataushi leaving Akutagawa's side had made him shiver from the new colder temperature. The weretiger was like a walking heater.
Atsushi noticed him shaking and quickly took two more blankets out of the closet, the only two more that he had, and made his way back to him.
He draped the rest of the blankets over Akutagawa. Atsushi was getting ready to lie down when the mafioso spoke.
"You should come closer, you're warm." He finished the statement with a cough that made him look even more pitiful and in need of Atsushi's warmth. If that cough was fabricated, that was between Autagawa and his secondhand embarrassment.
"Come closer." He said again when the tiger didn't move, lifting his blanket and the final layer that was separating them.
"A-Alright." Atsushi stuttered. If Akutagawa was trying to make him flustered then he was succeeding.
He shuffled closer to him and they lay down together. Side by side, facing each other.
The space between them was small and Atsushi wanted to make it even smaller. He wanted to leave no space between them and to hold Akutagawa well into the night. An utterly embarrassing thought to have in his opinion.
Wanting affection from the other and actually being able to get it now was something new for both of them. Sometimes it made Atsushi embarrassed over how affectionate he wanted to be with Akutagawa, it felt so simple but it was hard to convey it to the other without getting his heart to do nervous flips.
"I'm still cold." Akutagawa whispered while averting his gaze. His cheeks were a bit rosy but hardly noticeable in the dim light coming from the night lamp Atsushi had lit earlier while moonlight barely made it through the covered windows
At this point, whether he was inexperienced or not, Atsushi could see the shy request for cuddling from the mafioso. The other had gotten them so far and it was Atsushi's turn to advance in their slow-pacing dance of learning to voice wants and needs.
He snaked his arm around Akutagawa's back and pulled his other arm up to rest his head on it. Pulling the other's head to his chest and closer to his body. Akutagawa's arms went around his waist right away in response. His head rubbed into the weretiger's chest and stopped to comfortably rest his forehead against him.
Atsushi's hand around Akutagawa went from resting on his back to sneaking into his short hair. Fingers carding through the raven strands.
"You should use conditioner." He said into their gentle atmosphere. His hair should be softer, he thought. He was also fast falling asleep and blabbering nonsense. Thankfully Akutagawa didn't seem to mind very much.
"I wouldn't take your hair-care advice, jinko." He said. Sounding slightly muffled with his face being pressed into the other.
Atsushi let out a giggle and Akutagawa could feel his chest dancing with it.
It felt nice having Atsushi's hand in his hair. It feels nice to lie down and rest, to be warm and comfortable, to feel relaxed like this. It feels nice to be in Atsushi's embrace. It felt nice to know that whoever interrupted their rest could be easily torn apart by Atsushi's strong tiger arms. That Atsushi could handle whatever danger tried to sneak up on them. That Atsushi would protect him, and that was reassuring to the mafioso.
Akutagawas closed his eyes and hummed. Holding Atsushi just a bit closer.
"Go to sleep, Aku. I'll be here."
That's all he needed to hear before letting go and succumbing to his slumber.