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It’s a dark, cold night.
The moon is hidden behind a thick layer of grey clouds, its dim light barely managing to pierce through as it illuminates the streets below with a faint silver tint.
Once busy walkways all over the city stand eerily empty, and the roads, devoid of any vehicles, are an unusual sight for someone who’s never out this late.
On a certain path, to a certain place, a girl walks leisurely with an air of melancholy, lost in the tranquil atmosphere created by the circumstances of this perfect night.
The hazy streetlights that surround her flicker faintly as fluffy white snow gently falls all around.
Nijika catches a snowflake on her finger, gazes at it aimlessly as she stumbles along, and flicks it aside with a small sigh as she continues her stroll.
After a minute or two, a bench comes into view.
She plops herself down on it, leaning backwards to make herself as comfortable as possible - which was still, by all means, not very, since it was made of concrete.
Left all alone with her thoughts, for a while, she does nothing but stare aimlessly.
Her mind eventually wanders, and drags up memories that she had tried her very best to bury deep, deep in her soul. As much as Nijika would like not to, the events of a few hours ago at the recording studio start to slowly sink back in.
Messing up fills.
Losing rhythm and tempo.
Overwhelmed by nervousness and anxiety, even freezing completely during the recording.
Asking the sound engineer again, and again, and again for another try, almost as if she was a gambling addict desperately begging for money. Seeing that tired look on her face as she reluctantly agreed.
Her bandmates, kind and considerate as always, giving her words of encouragement even after she had held them all back far, far longer than she should’ve.
A tiny part of Nijika would’ve preferred them to yell at her instead.
She blinks, and her eyes find themselves looking at the sky. Small, bright stars dot the pitch black canvas. The moon peeks out from its covers, returning her gaze.
Her vision starts to blur. A singular, hot tear runs down Nijika’s face.
I wish I’d done more.
I brought them down. After everyone had put in so much effort.
The girl was, more often than not, as bright as the sun.
But not even the sun can shine all the time.
Damn it..
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The door creaks, despite it opening only slightly - the noise is loud, audible, and jolts the middle-aged woman awake from her nap on the couch.
“N-Nijika?” She groans, a little annoyed and still half-awake. “How late is it?”
Seika gets up groggily, swaying slightly as she tries to stand on her feet. It’d been a long day at STARRY, and her body can barely function, exhausted as she is.
Rubbing her eyes while looking expectantly at the entrance, she waits for Nijika to walk in; a few seconds that feel as long as minutes pass, and yet the door remains ajar and still.
“Oi. What are you doing? Are you gonna come in or not?”
Silence.
“...Nijika?”
A small shard of concern starts to build up in Seika’s heart.
Her sleep-deprived mind and protective nature mix, twisting and magnifying this further, sending her into a small panic.
Why isn’t she coming in? Wh.. what's stopping her? Has she been attacked? Worse?
Before she can think any further, she finds herself rushing towards the door. Pulling it back, Seika steps outside, starts looking around frantically, and-
Nijika, is right there, sitting on the edge of the stairs leading into their house, facing away and perfectly fine.
A wave of relief rushes over the older sister, and at the same time, a strong irritation floods into her.
“You couldn’t have replied? I was worried out of my mind for a second there.” Seika says, exasperated and not masking any frustration in her voice whatsoever.
“..Huh? Oh. Sorry, onee-chan.” the younger girl replies, without turning around.
“...?”
“Well.. just answer quicker next time, alright?” Seika, now feeling a little bad for her outburst, speaks in a softer tone this time.
Something starts to nag at Seika, though. Nijika was, much unlike herself, cheery and full of energy most of the time. So..
Why did she sound.. sad? Tired? There’s something off here.
Seika can feel it, having known her sister for almost half her life.
Should I pry a bit further? No, wait.
She squints her eyes at the girl sitting on the stairs.
As Seika looks closer, she picks up what seems to be Nijika’s small frame trembling. Then, suddenly, the sound of frequent, muted and wet sniffles coming from her sister becomes painfully prominent to her against the silence of night.
Ah.
Seika starts to get a better grasp of the situation.
Now that I think about it - her band was recording a song for a label, weren’t they..? Then, it must’ve gone… not too well.
Shit. Uhh..
Seika’s bad at times like this, and knows it herself. She freezes in place as she tries to decide on some kind of solution, but her mind turns up empty.
What the hell do I do? Help me, God! Help me, Mom!
She approaches Nijika slowly, still uncertain - as if she’s trying to walk up to a stray cat without startling it.
“Onee-chan..?”
Nijika turns around. Seika, like a deer caught in headlights, stops in place.
Her eyes are reddish, watery, tired, and a small stream of blood trickles down the side of her lips. With a runny nose, flushed face, and while very, very obviously holding back her emotions, she flashes Seika a sad, fragile smile, and says:
“Sorry for worrying you. I’m okay, Onee-chan.”
And then, something inside Seika shatters.
Seeing her younger sister, who constantly emitted a sparkling radiance like that of the stars, feeling this horrible and yet still worrying about her instead, fills Seika with horrendous guilt.
What kind of older sister am I?
“Nijika-”
“It’s alright, r-really. Just, just give me a second -” She gets up, wobbling. “What do you want for dinner?”
Glancing quickly at the house clock behind Seika, Nijika corrects herself.
“Oh, it’s this late already? Guess that makes it supper then, haha-”
The meek, pathetic disguise for her inner turmoil that she puts on in the form of bubbly cheeriness starts to melt away when she looks at Seika’s face.
“..Haha.”
The walls Nijika had hopelessly tried to build up crumble and fall.
“O-onee-chan.”
Seika lunges and wraps her in a tight hug. For a moment, the sisters stand there wordlessly.
And then, the emotions that Nijika was trying her best to keep down bubble over and explode in a cascade of tears.
“I was such a burden.”
There's a tar-like, blocking sensation in her throat, and her words struggle to break through.
“K-Kita-chan. Bocchi-chan. Even R-Ryo. They all tried so hard. And.. And I brought them all down.”
She says what she'd been repeating to herself over and over again in her heart.
“I’m the worst. I'm so.. so damn useless. I'm..”
The hug tightens. Hearing the hatred and self-loathing creeping up from under Nijika’s voice, and along with the hurtful words she throws at herself without hesitation, it pierces and twists Seika's soul like a knife.
“I.. I-”
She can’t bring herself to speak anymore - Nijika puts her head down and sobs loudly into her sister’s shoulder.
It’s been a long time since I last saw her like this.
Ah..
Seika’s mind flashes to years back, when a younger Nijika would cry and throw tantrums. Back when she would tear up over the most insignificant things, not actual, important, heavy adult stuff.
Nijika, still sobbing, feels a hand touch her head. It’s gentle, soft and caresses her hair in an oddly reminiscent way.
“...Mom?”
The instinctive response tugs at Seika’ heartstrings yet again. A clear image of their mother forms in her mind.
She’s gone now.
Hot liquid starts to well up in the older sister’s eyes as well.
I have to support her. In Mom’s stead.
“It’s okay, Nijika.”
“It’s alright if you mess up once or twice. What matters is that you bounce back stronger.”
“That’s what Mom would say.”
Almost as if a switch is flicked on, tears once again start to stream down Nijika's face - this time, Seika is right there along with her, and both sisters cry silently as they hug on that freezing, quiet stairwell.
"Nijika. Don't talk about yourself like that anymore."
"I know how hard you practise to keep up with Bocchi-chan and Ryo."
"You're not useless, or anything like that at all."
"You're.."
"You're my precious sister."
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The sound engineer waltzes into the studio; not wasting any time, she quickly sets up her equipment, pressing all sorts of buttons and moving all sorts of controls.
"We're late on schedule - you and I have to finish this now, alright?" The engineer calls out, beckoning the blonde over.
"You can do it, Ijichi-senpai!"
Kita, the only girl that's even more outgoing and exuberant than the always-cheery drummer, does her best to encourage her.
"..Nijika. Good luck."
Ryo gives a smug yet reassuring grin, with a thumbs up to boot.
"N-Nijika-chan. I believe in you!"
Bocchi, despite her ..social tendencies, speaks up as well, surprisingly loudly at that.
Didn't expect that.. just goes to show how much Bocchi-chan - no; they all believe in me.
Nijika faces the trio with her usual angelic smile before entering the live room.
"Thanks, everyone! I'll kick this recording's butt, just you see!"
And though she gave off an impeccable aura of confidence, Nijika was, of course, quite anxious.
She sits herself down and gets comfortable behind the drum kit. Breathing in and out, albeit slightly shakily, she prepares herself mentally. Then -
Eh?
In the corner of her eyes, she spots a shade of yellow - they flicker over and land on a familiar face.
Seika stands beside her bandmates in the other room as they all watch expectantly through the glass - not with her usual, bored and unfeeling expression, but with a look of worry plastered all across her face.
Kita and Ryo teasingly point at Seika while grinning widely at Nijika. Even they could tell just how tense the manager was.
Pfft.
Nijika can't help but let out a giggle.
Why are you more scared than me? I'm the one playing here!
The tension she had felt all across her body starts to die down. In its place, a renewed vigour and determination sets in.
Okay.
She inhales one more time.
Let's do this.
—-----------------------------------
"Nijika's in her element today, huh." Ryo comments with a sense of awe, looking at the blonde, who had lost herself in playing.
She was putting on a passionate performance, with barely any errors, if at all.
Both Kita and Bocchi stare with amazement as the drummer rips through the remainder of the song with ease - every part Nijika had messed up the days before, she now does without much trouble.
When it finally ends, she's sweaty, out of breath, but still manages to shoot a gleeful look at the four spectators in the other room.
Ryo, in response, lets out a genuine smile.
Damn, she's cu- Nevermind. Other than that, I'm glad she's doing better now. Nijika definitely seemed down yesterday.
Taking off her headset, Nijika runs out of the room to speak to the rest.
"That's that. Did I do well?"
"Definitely, Ijichi-senpai! Don't you think so too, Hitori-chan?" Kita exclaims, to which the girl in pink beside her agrees by ferociously nodding.
Satisfied, Nijika turns around to face Ryo, awaiting an answer with arms crossed with a proud look on her face.
Holy shit, she's cu-
"You did great, Nijika." Ryo says, monotone, suppressing herself as best she could.
"Mhm. Not bad." Seika adds equally without emotion, forcibly controlling her tone to hide her resounding happiness. It doesn’t fool her sister at all.
"You two.." Nijika sighs.
"Anyway, you girls. Let's celebrate today with some yakiniku to celebrate this. It's on me!"
"Wow! Thanks, manager! You’re so kind!"
"Thank you, manager. It’s nice not having weeds for dinner."
"I-I I have s-something at home to attend t-to, an-"
"Hitori-chan~"
"Ah. Yes."
"It's getting late. I don't really want your parents to call and nag at me, so let's hurry up, yeah?"
And with that, the two sisters, Ryo, the redhead and the slowly liquefying Bocchi-chan set off from the studio.
The city in the evening is beautiful. Bright lights and neon signs of all colors light up the buildings that surround them, and the streets are filled with a sea of people. The air is filled with the audible, yet not downright noisy sounds of hundreds of conversations being held at once, along with the honking of angry drivers and loud commercials plastered all around.
It's a long walk to the restaurant; Seika and Nijika walk aside each other in comfortable silence, as the other three members talk excitedly in the background, going on about a recently released song.
"Hey, onee-"
Just as she's about to open her mouth to start a conversation, Nijika catches a glimpse of Seika's expression, and her words get caught in her throat.
For a moment, she's stunned.
And then, a small smirk emerges on her face.
Heh.
That's the happiest I've seen you in a long time, Onee-chan.
The younger sister, beaming, grabs onto the arm of the slightly confused older one, and they continue on their journey.
—-------------------------------
"Ahh.."
Seika slams her empty mug on the wooden table, sending small bits of beer foam flying all around as she lets out a sound of satisfaction.
"Onee-chan, you're drunk."
"Am not."
"Yes, you are."
"Nooo…"
"Goddamm - Oh! Bye bye, Bocchi-chan, Kita-chan! Wait, where's Ryo? When the hell did she leave?!"
The waiter awkwardly shuffles up to the table as the two girls exit, leaving the siblings alone in the restaurant.
"Uh.. Ma'am. The bill?"
"What’s with this number?! Gahhh! Onee-chan! Wake up!"
The rest of the evening, Nijika is made extremely busy; having to pay for her terribly drunk sister and bandmates (emptying her wallet completely in the process) and then having to drag said sister all the way home.
“You’re so.. fricking.. heavy, onee-chan.. you better pay me back, or I’ll have to start eating weeds like Ryo..”
It's a cold, dark night.
The walkways and roads are empty.
Snow falls all around the pair, and Nijika feels a sense of deja vu overcome her.
It brings her to that moment where she walked under the same sky, though with vastly different emotions in her heart.
Nijika thinks back to her sister's comforting words, and gratitude bubbles up lightly inside her.
"Onee-chan."
"Hmm?"
"Thank you. For that night."
"Ahh.. don't worry about it. After all,"
Seika looks up. The stars twinkle and shine brightly as ever.
"We're the closest sisters in the world."