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Chapter Text

With the late-summer sun slowly sliding into the lake to stain it a bloody red, Wei Wuxian was only two jars of wine in when Mianmian plopped down beside him. He hadn’t heard her jump up to his rooftop, but as soon as he realized who had joined him, he transitioned his instinctive grab towards Chenqing into a lazy twirl of the ghost flute. He hoped his old friend hadn’t noticed him startle – with the benefit of his golden core, he surely would have noticed her footsteps much earlier, regardless of how deep he was in thought. He scrambled to sort himself into a sociable mood and slapped a quick smile onto his face.

“Mianmian! What brings you out to Lotus Pier? Did you finally get fed up with the Peacock’s terrible taste in fancy floral incense? Choke on a gold ornament that fell off his robes? Come, come, share a jar with me!” Wei Wuxian held out one of the many jars of wine scattered about him on the flat roof section.

Mianmian grabbed it and looked around a few moments – right, most people would want a cup to drink out of – before taking a delicate sip directly from the jar. “Mm, is it made locally? I’m here to visit with you, Wei-gongzi.” She gracefully ignored his jabs at her sect’s heir.

“Yes, yes, it’s a lotus wine, I helped out with the development. Isn’t it tasty? I don’t think I could ever get enough of it. I can’t believe you came all the way out here just to see little old me, you must like me more than you let on, Mianmian!” Wei Wuxian took a decidedly less-than-graceful swig from his own jar, using his dark sleeve to wipe off a dribble down his chin.

“Wei-gongzi, I know you have a high tolerance, but this is more than enough for anyone. You’re lucky I’m here to share with you, or you’d be drinking yourself into a stupor.” Mianmian waved an arm at the sloppy collection of jars and raised an eyebrow.

Wei Wuxian shifted uncomfortably and raced to change the subject, saying, “Huh, you said you came out to visit me, not on any official business? I’m surprised Jin-zongzhu let you take time away from your responsibilities. Or did you tag along with a larger group?”

“Not at all, Jin-zongzhu encouraged me to visit. He said, ‘Ah, Luo-guniang, my son tells me that Wei Wuxian protected you in the cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter. You should pay your respects to him, show your gratitude, you know, as a woman does.’” Wei Wuxian blushed and looked away from Miamian’s pretty face. Was she really suggesting…that? Even though Jin Guangshan was many, many li away, Wei Wuxian felt the urge to dip into a river and wash a feeling much slimier than lake algae off his entire body.

Before he could think of anything to say, she continued, “I don’t think keeping you from drinking alone is precisely what Jin-zongzhu meant by ‘showing gratitude,’ but I’m happy to take the excuse to travel. Oh, and I have an herb pack for you – mix these into a tea before bed, they’ll help with nightmares better than all this wine. I know a lot of us have had trouble sleeping since the war.”

Reassured that Mianmian didn’t really think she had to pay a debt with those kinds of favors, Wei Wuxian decided to lighten the mood by flirting a little. He winked and brushed his fingers lightly against hers as he accepted the herbs, quipping, “How could I not sleep well going to bed with my head full of thoughts of the lovely lady who gifted me this tea! Thank you, Miamian, you know so much about herbs. Truly, I think your medicine saved Lan Zhan and me when we were trapped in the cave, so if anyone owes gratitude, it should be me. What can I do for you, just say the word – more wine? A tour of Lotus Pier? Oh, you really should try lotus seeds fresh from the pod, they’re better that way. And the early ones are just ripening now, so it’s the perfect time.”

Wei Wuxian spent the next few days dragging Mianmian around the docks and street vendors, teasing to get her to taste the Yunmeng spices and to beat the heat by practicing her swimming. Keeping occupied with a guest and occasionally using her as a buffer for Jiang Cheng’s lectures made the days seem to fly by. But soon she had to return to Lanling, so it was back to ducking duty for Wei Wuxian. Without his golden core, there wasn’t much he could do to help Jiang Cheng and Shijie rebuild Lotus Pier or train the new recruits. So although Mianmian’s herbs did help with the nightmares, Wei Wuxian still spent much of the day drinking to dull his waking hours, with a few ghost girls for company. Spending time with the ghost girls was safer than goofing off with the shidis and shimeis, the ghosts would never ask him to help with tasks that should be easy for him but were now impossible.

So as he slipped back into his usual haunts, Wei Wuxian didn’t think much on Mianmian’s visit until a larger Jin delegation of two senior disciples and ten nobodies from Wei Wuxian’s generation came only a couple weeks later. Wei Wuxian didn’t recognize any of them and was frankly surprised that the Jin had so many female disciples, given that all ten of the younger ones were women. Officially, they had come to discuss trade deals with Jiang Cheng. However, Jiang Cheng complained vociferously about the two pompous blowhards who wasted his time talking in circles every day, and the other ten just seemed to wander with nothing to do. The gaggle of girls managed to find Wei Wuxian no matter where he went, and he found himself thinking back to that first conversation with Mianmian as he wondered what Jin Guangshan was really trying to accomplish with this delegation.

Perhaps they were spying on him to learn about his ghost cultivation. All of them seemed charmed and encouraging when he entertained them with ghost tricks, which was suspicious given that most young women would find ghosts unnerving. And Ma-guniang kept asking him to play Chengqing for her. Didn’t she know it was a dangerous weapon full of resentment? But if they were trying to learn the secrets to his cultivation, they weren’t trying very hard. He had a few trusted spirits watching the Jin disciples at all times, and none of the women had attempted to practice using resentful energy in any way. None of them had tried to look at his notebooks or snoop around his room, either, but he added some privacy talismans and wards to his quarters just in case.

If they were spies, surely they would be more subtle? Wei Wuxian normally had fun flirting with young maidens, but these women didn’t follow the lighthearted dance of give-and-take he was used to. When he gave in to Ma-guniang’s requests and played a jaunty tune on Chenqing, she angled far too close to his face and tucked his hair back, her warm fingers tracing over the tip of his ear and lingering on the skin. While he was still playing, she leaned in so close that her lips brushed against his ear and whispered, “Wei-gongzi, your tongue and fingers are clever on your instrument, I wonder what else they could do?” After that, he brought the song to an end with the next verse and very manfully fled to the safety of the locked door of his own room.

Wei Wuxian wasn’t a fuddy-duddy like Lan Zhan, but he did want his first kiss to mean something. He hardly knew any of these girls, and they were Jin disciples, too. Mianmian was a special case, but most Jin disciples were too snooty to be fun friends. Certainly Jin-er-guniang was no exception. She didn’t want to share wine unless she had a clean cup to put her elegantly-painted lips on, and yet she ducked in to kiss him with no warning. Fortunately, he was able to turn his head so she only bussed his cheek, but she still left a pink mark from her lip paint on his skin. Lan Zhan happened to be visiting that evening and immediately stood up and left the tavern when he saw such shameless behavior. Wei Wuxian had worked hard to lure him in by pelting him with flowers and compliments, and he was sad to see that effort wasted as his stuffy friend left more than a shichen before Lan bedtime.

Zhang-guniang was also no exception to the typical Jin haughtiness. Ku-ayi, a friend who worked as a server in the Rowboat’s Rest inn, accidentally spilled soup on Zhang-guniang’s shiny gold robes, and then Zhang-guniang shrieked that she needed a replacement robe right away. Poor Ku-ayi offered her own spare robes from upstairs, but Zhang-guniang retorted that she couldn’t possibly wear such rough peasant garb. Instead, she tried to take off Wei Wuxian’s outer robe as a replacement. If she had waited a few moments (maybe more than a few moments, he didn’t like that she yelled at Ku-ayi), he might have chivalrously donated his robe of his own accord, but he was too thin-faced to have a girl undoing the ties on his robes, and in public! Zhang-guniang’s too-soft hands (didn’t she have any sword calluses?) stroked his waist and chest, and she was starting to reach further down his body. Just before she touched anything sensitive, he managed to scoot away from her grasping hands and suggest that it might be time to turn in for the evening, so Zhang-guniang could go back to her own guest room and change into her own fresh robes.

For three weeks, the Jins hounded him everywhere he went, and he had to be quick on his feet to extricate himself from some sticky situations. He took to joining Shijie in the kitchens during the day, even though she didn’t trust him to help with anything other than cutting up vegetables, and in the evenings he tried to cling to her as well so the Jin girls couldn’t corner him alone. When Shijie asked what had him so interested in the kitchens of late, he whined, “Shiiijieee, can’t it just be that your Xianxian wants to spend time with his favorite person in the whole world?” She didn’t press the issue, and when the Jin disciples tried to get too close, she warded them off with an arm around his shoulders, because she was perfect. Shijie would keep him safe.

Chapter Text

Eventually, the Jins packed up their excessive baggage and left, to Wei Wuxian’s great relief. However, he only had six gloriously Jin-free weeks before yet another ostentation of Jins slithered through the front gates of Lotus Pier. Again they asked to speak with Jiang Cheng, this time on “urgent and sensitive” business. They had hardly been closeted in his office for a single ke before Jiang Cheng stormed out and shouted, “WEI WUXIAN!”

The call echoed over the water, and even though Wei Wuxian was on the opposite side of the sect compound, he could clearly hear the distinctive crack of Zidian. Wei Wuxian was not eager to find out what could trigger such a reaction, but he knew delay would only give Jiang Cheng more time to charge up, so he hurried over to face the lightning. By the time he arrived, the Jins were nowhere to be seen. Jiang Cheng dragged him inside and slammed the door shut, flinging up a privacy talisman behind him.

Jiang Cheng slammed a hand on his desk. “Wei Wuxian, is this your clarity bell?”

Wei Wuxian picked up the bell and hmm, yes, it did have a scuff mark in the exact place where his bell that went missing a month or two ago had been scuffed. “Aiya, I think it is my bell, how did you find it, Jiang Cheng? I’ve been searching for it for the past month.”

“And you never thought to report it missing? Wei Wuxian, I’m your sect leader, you have to tell me these things, you’re supposed to wear your bell every day. Are you sure you don’t have anything else to say about the circumstances under which you ‘lost’ your bell?”

Wei Wuxian hadn’t thought he needed to serve up an extra opportunity for Jiang Cheng to guilt him about carelessly causing problems while not contributing to the rebuilding, and he couldn’t very well tell Jiang Cheng why he wasn’t contributing to the rebuilding. Plus, he was mostly done with making a new bell for himself already. “Ah, Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng, it’s just that I didn’t want to bother you with something so small. Look, I’m almost done with making a new one! But since you’ve found my old one, I guess this can be for the next shidi or shimei who earns it.” Wei Wuxian held up the lump of metal at his waist sash and swung it back and forth. It looked not entirely unlike a clarity bell.

“Actually, I didn’t find your bell.” Jiang Cheng sighed deeply and rested his face in the palm of his hand. “Wei Wuxian, the Jins said you gave your bell to their Zhang-guniang as a token of affection.”

“Who?”

“You let a woman take off your clothes and you don’t even know her name? Have some shame, Wei Wuxian! When the Jins came this morning, they brought a bartender from the Rowboat’s Rest who remembered seeing Zhang-guniang start to take off your robes right in their common room.”

“Oh, I remember now, the one who made Ku-ayi cry. She tried to take my outer robe when hers got soup spilled on it, but I managed to escape before she got the ties undone. Aiya, do you think she could have taken my clarity bell while she was grabbing at my belt? I was a little distracted by how handsy she was, and after that I just dashed back home.”

“And you dashed back alone? You didn’t happen to accidentally fall into bed with her later that night? No other memories suddenly coming to mind that you didn’t bother to tell me about? Wei Wuxian. Don’t you trust me anymore?”

“What?? Jiang Cheng, of course I trust you, my favorite shidi, and of course I didn’t sleep with her! I know I boast a lot, but really, honestly, I haven’t even had my first kiss yet. I want it to mean something, you know? And no way would I sleep with some uppity Jin who was mean to Ku-ayi.” Wei Wuxian felt that something was missing from this picture, and he started pacing back and forth over the slightly-scorched stone floor to chase the thought.

Jiang Cheng sighed deeply again. “Fuck,” he said, with feeling. And not just an angry feeling, although that constituted most of Jiang Cheng’s feelings. Wei Wuxian was an expert on Jiang Cheng feelings. (AN: Wei Wuxian was in fact not an expert on Jiang Cheng feelings.) This sounded like an exhausted and a broken-hearted and an angry feeling all at once. After a few more moments of deep breathing while glaring at a paper on the desk (Jiang Cheng) and pacing (Wei Wuxian), Jiang Cheng spoke up again: “You know this still looks very bad, even if I believe you that the baby isn’t yours–”

“A baby?! Jiang Cheng! You couldn’t have led with that? I’m not a father, I swear to you I–”

“Wei Wuxian! I believe you, okay?”

“Aww, shidi, you do love–”

“Shut up, Wei Wuxian, this is serious! Yes, I believe you. You wouldn’t know what to do with a girl if she literally dropped naked into your lap, anyway. But the important part is that even though I believe you, no one else will. They have too much evidence, and aish. How many times have I told you to be more careful with your reputation? You flirt so much, the whole jianghu thinks you’re a playboy, and she had your bell, and there are witnesses from the Rowboat’s Rest, and Zhang-guniang is a respected gentry lady claiming you’re the father, and she described your birthmark–”

“That doesn’t mean anything, everyone sees that when I take off my robes for swimming–”

“I said shut up, Wei Wuxian! Your reputation is already in tatters with the demonic cultivation and not carrying your sword and playing around drinking all day, and I’ve let that go because I thought you needed some time after the war, but this is one more scandal we can’t afford, even if it’s not true. You know Jin Guangshan has been asking about your tiger tally, this is just the excuse he needs to say you’re too dishonorable and too controlled by your base instincts to be trusted with it, and–”

“And Jin Guangshan thinks he’s not controlled by ‘base instincts’? Does anyone know how many bastards that man has?”

“I know, I know, but Yao-zongzhu and Ouyang-zongzhu and Qin-zongzhu will back him up anyway. And Lan Xichen isn’t going to stand against him, either, not with the way their repairs are being funded by Lanling. The Jins will say that the Jiang sect is too weak to rein you in, and hell, that part at least is true, you think I don’t know that you do what you want? And it's also true that we’re also too weak to protect you, Wei Wuxian, I can’t think of any other way, you have to marry her.”

“What?!” Wei Wuxian must have misheard. He couldn’t marry some hard-hearted, soft-handed Jin brat. Well, maybe, for the good of the Jiang. They could get married and live in separate quarters on opposite sides of Lotus Pier, sometimes that was how arranged marriages went. It wasn’t as though he had plans to marry anyone else, so it wouldn’t be a huge sacrifice if this marriage would remove a burden from Jiang Cheng and Shijie. He would just have to make a few bows, no one would care whether there was a consummation (he shuddered internally, disgusted) if the bride was already with child. The child, at least, he could care for. He felt a vague twinge of longing for a loving family that could never be, but he knew he had already given up that dream when he started down his single-plank bridge. No matter how many times Lan Zhan reprimanded him, there was no other path for Wei Wuxian now.

Wei Wuxian pulled himself out of his musings to focus on Jiang Cheng again, who clarified, “They said they would let it go if you marry the Zhang girl, marry into the Jin sect. Unless you have some genius idea, I don’t see how else we prevent a war we can’t win, how else to keep everyone safe.”

Wei Wuxian grabbed Jiang Cheng’s shoulder and clung on tightly to still his own trembling hand. “No, no, Jiang Cheng, I can’t leave you and Shijie, don’t make me go to that snake pit. I wouldn’t even kiss that arrogant Zhang-guniang, and now you’re saying I have to leave you to marry her? What about our promise? Aren’t I supposed to stay at your side?” Wei Wuxian started rubbing and patting Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure if he was soothing himself or Jiang Cheng. “Hey, what if I can prove the baby isn’t mine? It isn’t, so there must be a way to prove it, I’ll figure something out for sure.”

“Whatever. You look into that, and meanwhile I’ll plan your stupid wedding. The Jins said they want to have it before Zhang-guniang is showing, so the closest auspicious date. It’s less than a month from now. If you’re going to ‘figure something out,’ do it before then. Well, unless you want to just give them the tiger tally, no never mind, don’t do that, if you give it to them they’ll use it, and then we’ll have war just the same.” Jiang Cheng slumped over his desk. As an expert on Jiang Cheng feelings, Wei Wuxian was certain that ‘defeated’ was not supposed to be one of the options. He had only seen that expression on Jiang Cheng once before, and that time Wei Wuxian had carved his core out to bring the spark back to his shidi’s eyes. He would find answers this time, too. He had to. For Jiang Cheng.

As a first step, he would go cry on Shijie. Shijie was so good, she would be able to sort him out. And once he was thinking clearly, he could start testing ideas. For Jiang Cheng and Shijie.

The next day, Cloud Recesses:

Lan Wangji was kneeling and pulling apart a cabbage to feed the back hills rabbits when Lan Xichen glided up the path. Lan Xichen halted and said, “Ah, Wangji, an invitation arrived from the Jin today.”

Lan Wangji continued tearing cabbage leaves and did not visibly or audibly react, but Lan Xichen responded as though he understood. “No, I think this is of interest to you. It’s an invitation for the wedding of Wei-gongzi and a Zhang-guniang. I don’t think she ever came to the study sessions here. The date is less than a month from now, usually there’s more advance notice unless there is need for a hasty wedding.”

Lan Wangji put down the cabbage and picked up one of the rabbits, placing a gentle supporting hand underneath its small body. He placed the rabbit in his lap and began to stroke its soft fur. Lan Xichen also treated this as a continuation of the conversation, saying, “Oh, Wangji, is it that bad? I’m so sorry. You don’t have to go if it will be too difficult for you, but if you do go I’ll be there with you. And if you don’t go, I’ll attend and visit with a-Yao, so I can tell you about it afterwards if there is anything you want to know. I think you will feel better if you go, though. It will be an opportunity for closure, at the least.”

Chapter Text

Jiang Cheng wanted to stab a Jin, preferably Jin Guangshan. It was his tragic fate that as a sect leader that he couldn't afford to stab any Jin, especially Jin Guangshan. He hadn’t spent months chasing rumors of his brother’s whereabouts with the least-companionable companion imaginable just to lose him again today. But when the choice was between marrying Wei Wuxian off to a liar and letting him get killed fighting another war, he knew which he preferred. One thing he’d learned since becoming sect leader was that sometimes all you could do was pick the lesser of two evils. In this case, the lesser evil was the pushy Zhang-guniang with her too-small-to-show baby and her too-loud-to-ignore voice yelling about all the ways the servants were setting up the banquet hall incorrectly.

To be fair, the Pageantry Hall’s decorations were quite tasteless, but none of Zhang-guniang’s suggestions would improve the situation. Shouldn’t she be waiting in her rooms now for the groom to come collect her? The Jin sect was proof that money couldn’t buy class. If Jiang Cheng was ranking choices for his future saozi, he would even choose a Lan before Zhang-guniang, and Lans didn’t understand the meaning of words like “fun” or “spice,” so they couldn't possibly be a good match for his spice-loving, prankster brother.

Wei Wuxian said he had a Plan. But he’d also had a Plan to get them out of trouble after Lan Wangji caught them drinking in the Cloud Recesses, and all he’d managed that time was to get Lan Wangji beaten black and blue, too. Forgive Jiang Cheng for not expecting this parent-detection talisman to grant a miraculous reprieve. Let Wei Wuxian attempt the impossible, Jiang Cheng would be standing behind him ready to clean up afterwards.

Wei Wuxian did clean up well, though, practically glowing with his hair tidy for once after a-Jie’s heroic efforts and his body draped in red and gold silks. In spite of the short timeline, Jiang Cheng had scrambled together finery almost worthy of his brother. There hadn’t been time to make and embroider all-new robes, but he had negotiated with the Yu sect to trade a set of robes from the recent wedding of their Yu-er-gongzi, and the Lotus Pier tailors had managed to add a few embroidered lotuses and fit the robes to the thinner Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian was too thin. If he had to live in Lanling without a-Jie’s cooking to tempt him, Wei Wuxian might subsist solely on wine. Another reason this wedding had to be stopped.

There would be plenty of wine for all at this banquet, and many of the guests were already indulging. The crowd was inching towards a rowdy volume waiting for the ceremony to begin when Wei Wuxian set off a swarm of fist-sized lights flashing around him. Each flash was accompanied by a crash loud as a ceramic pot shattering, and the crowd rapidly fell into a stunned silence. Slouched against a marble pillar, Wei Wuxian grinned lazily and waved his demon flute. Was he drunk already, or was he just soaked in his usual melodrama?

“Attention, everyone, fine lords and ladies! Thank you for joining me on this very special day, I’m sure everyone is excited for a taste of Jin hospitality. But I’ve been hearing some not-very-hospitable rumors circulating, so I thought I should put those malicious spirits to rest before the show. Would anyone like to guess what I’ve been hearing about the Yiling Laozu and our dear Zhang-guniang? Anyone? Perhaps you, Yao-zongzhu?” Wei Wuxian gave his dark flute another bouncy spin and let a little bit of resentment smoke off of it as he continued to smile, a little too wide now. Upon witnessing the opening performance of the Plan, Jiang Cheng reconsidered. Most likely his brother was both drunk and puffed up with melodrama.

Yao-zongzhu was ever-prepared to volunteer his opinions uninvited yet was blatantly unprepared to be called upon. Had he been transported back to Lan-Laoshi’s lectures, he could not have gaped more inelegantly. The cultivators at his side parted to clear a small space around him as he stuttered, “Yi-Yiling L-Laozu, this humble man could not guess what you mean.” Jiang Cheng scoffed. Yao-zongzhu had been boisterously telling everyone who would listen about the “bun in Zhang-guniang’s oven” no more than a few fen before Wei Wuxian’s light show. Half the hall must have heard.

Wei Wuxian had certainly heard, but he left Yao-zongzhu a bit of face, saying, “Aiya, Yao-zongzhu, don’t worry, I’m sure an honorable man as yourself would never even entertain such gossip. Can you believe that guests in this very hall were besmirching the reputation of their noble hosts by suggesting that the reason for this wedding was the Yiling Laozu siring a child out of wedlock? I would never!” Jiang Cheng noted, spitefully, that Wei Wuxian offered no defense of Zhang-guniang’s honor.

There was some muttering from the crowd, but soon Wei Wuxian corralled them again, putting on his long-neglected First Disciple voice for instructing the younger shidis and shimeis. He held up a slip of talisman paper and said, “Here’s the proof! As you all saw earlier and may remember from the war, I have developed many useful talismans. This one, when activated, sends out bright lines of light towards any blood children of the person holding it. I have activated this, and you can all clearly see there are no lines, so rest assured that I have fathered no children.”

Wei Wuxian next waved over Liu Anlin: “Liu-ayi, won’t you try it out?” Jiang Cheng recalled that she had carried a child strapped to her front and another strapped to her back when she pledged allegiance to him after escaping the Wens’ destruction of her natal sect, falling to her knees in the command tent with tears streaking through the mud on her face. In the months after that, he had been impressed with her ferocity and the speed with which she learned the Jiang sword forms. Relaxed and wearing her new formal robes, Liu Anlin was hardly recognizable as the same woman.

But it seemed she was still a mother of two, because as soon as Liu Anlin took the slip of paper from Wei Wuxian’s outstretched arm, two ribbons of light glimmered out from her hand. One passed through the wall, headed southwest in the direction of Lotus Pier. The other drew a line connecting Liu Anlin to a little girl, who giggled and passed her hand through the light a few times before twirling around and running up to her mother’s arms. After the child lost interest, Wei Wuxian recovered the talisman, snuffing out the glowing ribbons instantly. He took a sloppy and insouciant bow in front of the assembled cultivators, then he straightened. (Well, “straightened” was not exactly the right word for whatever Wei Wuxian was doing, but he returned to his slouch against the pillar. If he stood that way in the Cloud Recesses, some goody two-shoes would already have scolded him to stand properly.)

Jiang Cheng waited a few beats for the rest of the speech before realizing that this was it, this was the full extent of Wei Wuxian’s Plan. He thought he had already presented the necessary evidence. Of course he had no doubts about the performance of his talisman, so surely his audience wouldn’t, either. Of course. It was only a few fen after Wei Wuxian’s anticlimactic bow, and already the muttering was starting up again. Jiang Cheng glanced across the crowd to see Ouyang-zongzhu whispering something to Li-furen, Chen-er-gongzi making a crude gesture and laughing with his circle of friends, Lan Wangji looking like his usual stolid block of ice, and Jin Guangshan smirking like a gambler about to reveal his winning combination.

Sure enough, Jin Guangshan spoke up: “Wei Wuxian, what a sweet defense of your bride’s virtue. But I’m sure it won’t matter one way or the other after tonight, eh? There’s no need to play around with a light show to distract from the obvious explanation for a rushed wedding. We all know what it is to be young, no one begrudges you these little dalliances as long as you take responsibility in the end, my boy.”

Jiang Cheng elbowed his way towards Wei Wuxian’s dais and prayed to all his ancestors that his idiot brother wouldn’t be provoked into any impulsive reactions. He hoped in vain. Wei Wuxian had a hint of red in his eyes as he straightened (truly straightened, this time) to his full height and began stalking towards Jin Guangshan, saying, “Jin-zongzhu, you wouldn’t be calling me a liar, would you? The talisman does exactly what I said it does, and I have fathered no children. If you question my skill with talismans, perhaps it’s a matter of ignorance. After all, you never came to the battlefield in the Sunshot Campaign. Do you need a demonstration? You should know I’m more than my tiger tally, even if that’s all you’re looking to get from me, from this mockery of a wedding. Certainly this isn’t a love match.” Wei Wuxian’s entire body shook as he released a very-disconcerting laugh into the hushed room.

If Wei Wuxian wanted to sow doubts about his mental stability and ability to maintain control over the tiger tally, he had played his role perfectly. Many in the crowd had backed away from Wei Wuxian in fear during that speech. So Jin Guangshan was getting everything he wanted out of this exchange, and he adopted a genial, almost fatherly attitude, responding, “It’s easy for blood to run high on your wedding day, isn’t it? Once you’ve joined the Jin sect, we can help you consider your situation calmly and find a safe way to handle the tiger tally. But for now, isn’t it a bit childish to get cold feet about marrying a fine woman you’ve already found yourself compatible with? Don’t be so impetuous, everyone is already here, and they’re here to see two lively young people get married. Let’s not delay any longer, we wouldn’t want to keep our guests waiting! As soon as we complete the ceremony, we can bring out the food.” Jin Guangshan gave a jovial smile and spread his arms, the portrait of a generous host.

Jiang Cheng had finally reached Wei Wuxian’s side, and he scrambled to improvise a distraction before his brother made an even bigger mess. “Wei Wuxian!” he hissed, grabbing onto the talisman, “How long will this thing stay active?”

Wei Wuxian didn’t even look over at Jiang Cheng, continuing to glare balefully at Jin Guangshan, but he answered, “Oh, a shichen at least, not that it seems like anybody cares.”

Jiang Cheng glanced at the paper. The scrawl was nearly illegible, and even if he could read it, Jiang Cheng suspected he would need a reference manual and a few days to figure out the mechanics. Many cultivators had even less knowledge of talismans than he did, so as he’d suspected, there would be no use in explaining the talisman theory behind it. He would have to try a different angle.

“Esteemed guests, many apologies for the confusion, but I’m afraid we will have to delay a little longer. Jin-zongzhu, given that you seem confident that there is a reason to hurry this wedding, I have new concerns about the suitability of Zhang-guniang as a wife for my talented First Disciple. Wei Wuxian has made many innovative contributions to talisman design with the support of the Jiang sect. We invite you to test this one out for yourselves while I discuss the proceedings with Jin-zongzhu.” Jiang Cheng handed off the talisman to a beefy Nie disciple, triggering three beams to burst forth from the Nie disciple’s hand. Lights flared and shifted as guests passed the paper around.

Jiang Cheng walked slowly towards Jin Guangshan and prepared for an awkward negotiation. He hoped he could at least buy enough time for the assemblage to convince themselves the talisman worked and forget about the spectacle Wei Wuxian had made of himself. The talisman had better work, Jiang Cheng was really sticking his neck out for this.

Jiang Cheng reached Jin Guangshan and began to make his shallow salute, one sect leader to another. As he finished the salute, Nie Huaisang collapsed into his arms. He flailed his arms and fanned wildly at Wei Wuxian’s talisman, which was flitting about in the air above him. Nie Huaisang whined, “Protect me, Jiang-xiong, I don’t want to touch that! If I do have any children, well, I’m sure I don’t, but if I did, I wouldn’t want to know. Sometimes it’s better not to know, you know? Aiya, don’t make me hold it, I don’t want it!”

Even while struggling to support Nie Huaisang’s squirming body and avoid being smacked with the fan, Jiang Cheng couldn’t miss the fireworks that lit up when the talisman flew into Jin Guangshan’s face. There must have been at least ten ribbons streaming out from the man, it looked like he had placed a giant chandelier on his head. The paper only touched Jin Guangshan for a few moments, but that was enough to push the hall into pandemonium. Jiang Cheng heard sobbing, a heavy thump, and a scream from behind him. Nie Huaisang stood up gracefully, smoothed out his robes, and said, “oops,” fluttering his fan and his eyelashes.

Jin Guangshan opened his mouth, shut it again, and seemed to be starting to speak. Then Qin-zongzhu bulled past Jiang Cheng to get right in front of Jin Guangshan and shout, “What is the meaning of this, Guangshan! I thought we were friends!” Qin-zongzhu was not a tidy man at the best of times, and Jiang Cheng could see flecks of spittle flying into Jin Guangshan’s face as the tirade continued.

Looking back in the direction Qin-zongzhu had come from, Jiang Cheng saw that Qin-furen had fainted to the ground, and Qin Su was on her knees staring blankly into the distance. Jin Guangyao, all dimpled smiles, came forward to waft smelling salts towards Qin-furen. Jin-furen was shoving people aside to get to her husband, already yelling at him from halfway across the room, and the Peacock was clutching onto her arm. Over in a corner, Zhang-guniang was curled up in a ball and crying. Jiang Cheng couldn’t restrain a smile at the sight.

Content that he wouldn’t need to subject himself to the excruciating experience of negotiating with Jin Guangshan, Jiang Cheng wove through the chaos to find his brother. He gave Wei Wuxian an affectionate punch in the arm (which Wei Wuxian groaned theatrically about) and said, “I’m sure this was all part of your great Plan, isn’t that so?”

“Well, yes and no. I mean, I certainly didn’t expect to find out that Zhang-guniang was knocked up with Jin Guangshan’s kid! But other than that, all according to plan. See how useful my talismans can be? I did a pretty good job with that, don’t you think?”

Jiang Cheng didn’t want to let himself laugh, so he scowled instead. “Wei Wuxian, don’t take too much credit. You owe Huaisang a very nice new fan.”

Wei Wuxian was happy to laugh frivolously, and he beamed so brightly that Jiang Cheng found the corner of his mouth curling up, in spite of himself. Wei Wuxian’s eyes lit up, and he made a fanning gesture, saying, “Oh Jiang Cheng, a new fan is a great idea, wasn’t Nie-xiong amazing? Do you think he practices with the fans? Oo, I know just what I want to paint on–”

“Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian turned to face the interloper and smiled. “Lan Zhan! Oh Lan Zhan, how scandalous, you interrupted me. Isn’t that against your rules?”

“You will not marry Zhang-guniang.” It seemed that Lan Wangji had gotten used to Wei Wuxian’s teasing; he wasn’t reacting at all.

“Of course not! We were only considering it in the first place because Jin Guangshan was bullying Jiang Cheng, and now there’s no way he could force it through. I’m free! Which is great, because I don’t like any of those Jin girls anyway. Have you seen how cruel they are to their servants, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn. But Wei Ying looked as close to them as a body and shadow¹ while they were visiting Lotus Pier.”

“Aiya, Lan-er-gege, that wasn’t my fault! I know you’ll say it looked shameless, but I swear I didn’t want to be close to them at all, I was just trying to be a good host. They were the ones who came up to me, and they wouldn’t go away unless I hid from them with Shijie.”

“Mn, Wei Ying is shameless. Wei Ying covered me with flowers and called me the most beautiful man in the world. Was that merely your duty as a host?”

Was Wei Wuxian blushing? Jiang Cheng did not want to be in the middle of this confrontation about his brother’s weird obsession with Lan Wangji, but he thought he should stay close by in case it turned into a fight.

Wei Wuxian was definitely blushing. “Lan Zhan, ah, Lan Zhan, give me some face! Who could deny your beauty, it isn’t shameless to say if everyone would agree. I always want to look at you, whether I’m hosting you or not. And such a beauty deserves to be decorated with the freshest of flowers, really if this is anyone’s fault it’s yours, Hanguang-jun, for being too dazzling with your light. How can ordinary mortals compare?”

Lan Wangji looked like he was about to strangle Wei Wuxian for spouting all that nonsense, so Jiang Cheng prepared to intervene. Even with that preparation, Lan Wangji’s lunge was too sudden to stop. He shoved Wei Wuxian into a wall and held his wrists overhead. Jiang Cheng took a step closer and made to pull the man off his brother when he registered that Lan Wangji had also pressed his lips up against Wei Wuxian’s lips. They were…kissing?!

Jiang Cheng was too horrified to move, too horrified even to look away. Lan Wangji was definitely kissing Wei Wuxian, with a lot more teeth than Jiang Cheng had imagined kisses would involve. Was Wei Wuxian kissing back? He was more still than Jiang Cheng had ever seen him (aside from when he was asleep), limply allowing Lan Wangji to hold him against the wall. Or perhaps, like Jiang Cheng, too shocked to react?

Jiang Cheng had just decided to drag Lan Wangji off his brother when Wei Wuxian’s unnatural stillness ended. He started wriggling his hips and moaning and ewww, he was definitely kissing back now. Jiang Cheng closed his eyes, but that just made the noises even more prominent. He could hear sucking and licking and lip-smacking and humming and panting and grunting, a host of sounds he would prefer never to hear from his brother. With Jiang Cheng’s cultivation-enhanced hearing, the hubbub from the rest of the room (they were doing this in full view of half the jianghu!) failed to drown any of it out. It was the first time he had wished to be a weaker cultivator.

Jiang Cheng hadn’t known his brother was a cutsleeve, but in retrospect, it made a lot of sense. Jiang Cheng had been right, even before he realized how right he was: Wei Wuxian truly wouldn’t know what to do with a naked woman if she fell in his lap.

1. Lan Wangji is using a traditional four-character phrase (形影相随) to indicate Wei Wuxian seemed inseparable from the Jin girl. Lan Wangji really likes to use these literary idioms, probably in part due to his education and in part because he likes to be formal and concise. The English version "as close to them as a body and shadow" doesn't exactly capture how concise it is but hopefully does sound a little more literary/metaphorical? For a great discussion on Lan Wangji's use of language: https://hunxi-guilai.tumblr.com/post/613153737953935360/all-right-guys-lets-have-a-conversation-about return to text

Chapter Text

They were still kissing. How could they still be kissing.

“Lan Zhan, that was my first kiss! Are you going to take responsibility?” Upon hearing Wei Wuxian form complete sentences, Jiang Cheng had a moment of hope that this was the end of his suffering. He dared to take a peek at the shameless couple, but as soon as he had opened his eyes, Lan Wangji pulled a laughing Wei Wuxian back towards him. There was a muffled little “mmf” sound from his brother, and Jiang Cheng caught a flash of Lan Wangji’s cool blue qi sinking into his brother’s wrists before turning his head. At least he had managed to look away before seeing strands of their qi intertwining together – he didn’t think he had a thick enough face to bear witness to such an intimate display.

Jiang Cheng started walking off to complain to his jiejie. If anyone could get Wei Wuxian to listen to reason, it would be Yanli. However, he had only made it a few steps when Wei Wuxian started speaking again, the words tumbling out too fast: “Lan Zhan, ah, I’m sorry, stop, don’t tell, don’t say anything here, okay? Please please please just don’t say anything. Don’t look at me like that, I’m not dead! I promise I’ll explain, you deserve an explanation, and if you feel different about me now that’s okay, I wouldn’t hold it against you, I know I can’t be your match anymore. Just come with me, no, don’t cry, if you cry I’ll cry–”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji was not crying, but his eyes might have been slightly moist. Jiang Cheng wasn’t sure how to read the icy Lan’s expression, but his brother’s face was much more clear. Wei Wuxian was crying. He was also hyperventilating and dragging Lan Wangji towards the nearest exit.

Aside from encounters with dogs, Jiang Cheng had only seen his brother looking so scared and helpless after the fall of Lotus Pier. Jiang Cheng’s feet stuttered towards Wei Wuxian, but then he realized that finding a-Jie was still the first priority. She would know how to comfort their brother and coax his hurt feelings into the open, while Jiang Cheng would only be able to make matters worse. If Jiang Cheng followed his instincts to demand Lan Wangji apologize for making his brother cry, Wei Wuxian would dismiss him and insist he could take care of himself.

Yanli-jie was standing next to a blandly-smiling Lan Xichen at the other end of the dais. As Jiang Cheng approached, she smiled soft as fresh flowers and asked, “Why the sour face, a-Cheng? It seems everything is turning out for the best, don’t you think? And wouldn’t it be nice if our brother can truly make a love match?” Looking towards Lan Xichen, she added, “It could be a good alliance, too, with your agreement of course.”

Thinking about his family safe and happy, Jiang Cheng softened. He knew he was being handled, but he could never resist Yanli’s kind words. Still, he focused enough to give Lan Xichen a sharp look. “Lan-zongzhu, I don’t presume anything about your intentions, but someone in your situation might look at this mess and imagine you could take advantage to steal Wei Wuxian away. If you imagined such a thing, you would be wrong. As you can see, this wedding was a farce, but no serious offer for our brother would suggest he should marry into another sect. We value him highly, and he belongs at Lotus Pier. Don’t make the mistake of underestimating how fiercely the Jiang will negotiate on behalf of Wei Wuxian.”

Lan Xichen’s gentle smile still graced his insufferably-elegant face, but he narrowed his eyes in a way that sent a chill down Jiang Cheng’s back. “Jiang-zongzhu, I would not dream of underestimating you or taking advantage, but you must consider that I value my own didi just as highly. You cannot expect the Lan to marry out Wangji, either.” The man’s aura felt almost as cold as killing intent. Then, sudden as the sun beaming out from behind a cloud, the warmth returned to Lan Xichen’s demeanor. “Of course, our brothers are both men, so I’m sure we can find some compromise. Perhaps they might alternate seasons in Gusu and Yunmeng. I am happy to agree to a betrothal, surely we can negotiate the specifics in due course. For now, I must see to Shufu – the color on his face cannot be good for his health.”

Jiang Cheng would swear the First Jade of Lan had winked as he swished away. He blinked a few times and found himself staring numbly at Lan Xichen’s progress across the hall. He had just seen Jin Guangyao fall into step alongside his sworn brother when Yanli-jie’s giggle startled him out of his trance. “You were so serious with Zewu-jun, a-Cheng! Don’t worry, I’m sure he will negotiate honorably. For now, why don’t we track down our wayward brother, hopefully before he does anything more untoward with Lan-er-gongzi in private.”

“Jiejie, I don’t know what to think, but he looked scared. When they left together. I didn’t know what to do.”

Jiang Yanli straightened and looked deep into his eyes. Her voice was quiet but fierce as she asked, “Did Lan-er-gongzi force him?”

“Oh no, a-Jie, it’s not that. No, they were so disgusting together, please don’t make me think about it. Wei Wuxian wasn’t afraid of Lan-er-gongzi, but there was something else.”

Yanli-jie took his hand. Her hand was small but warm, and her grip was firm. “We will help him. Don’t worry, a-Cheng. We will find him and Lan-er-gongzi, and whatever is wrong, we will face it together.”

Jiang Cheng took a deep breath. With Yanli’s support, he felt solid enough to stand tall and stride away from the chaotic buzz of the Pageantry Hall. Yanli walked at his side to the doorway Wei Wuxian had left through. Unfortunately, the trail went cold immediately. Koi Tower was full of secret alcoves and secluded gardens that might be used for a private conversation, though Jiang Cheng suspected that very few of those conversations actually went unheard by the ever-present servants and spies. Still, if Wei Wuxian was upset, he would likely seek the comfort of a familiar place. Jiang Cheng started on the path towards the rooms where Wei Wuxian had been dressed and styled earlier in the day.

After wending around a few turns, the hubbub from the Pageantry Hall had faded to a low roar, so the clomping footsteps behind them were quite the contrast. Jiang Cheng turned back and looked through the walls of precisely-pruned peonies to see Nie Huaisang stumbling along and fanning himself. “Ah, Jiang-xiong, wait for me! Are you headed back to your rooms to rest already? Ah, Jiang-guniang as well, ooh, can I call you Jiang-jie?”

Jiang Cheng wasn’t in the mood to indulge Nie Huaisang in his games, but he was grateful for the intervention earlier. Huaisang never let on exactly how much of his fluttering and fainting was intentional, but Jiang Cheng couldn’t believe all the perfectly-timed distractions Huaisang had used to avoid trouble at the Cloud Recesses were accidents. In fact, it was likely that Nie Huaisang had a reason for following him now as well. Otherwise, he would surely wish to stay in the hall where he could sip Jin wine, soak up gossip, and enjoy the pandemonium he had caused.

Jiang Cheng had dealt with too many crises today. “Huaisang, don’t be so familiar with a-Jie. Spit it out, what do you want? We’re looking for Wei Wuxian.”

“Looking for Wei-xiong? Well, I don’t really know, but I thought I saw him with Lan-xiong on a rooftop over there.” Huaisang pointed in the opposite direction of the Jiang wedding preparation rooms, then added, “I’m sure it’s none of my business, but I could lead you there, if you like?”

Jiang Cheng sighed. “Fine, lead us there, Huaisang.” He didn’t know how Nie Huaisang gathered his information, but he would trust that over simply trying to retrace his steps through the maze of gilded gardens.

Sure enough, a pair of familiar silhouettes on a rooftop soon emerged, backlit by the setting sun. Fortunately, there was clear space between the silhouettes, no more shameless touching connecting them. Jiang Cheng crouched in preparation for a jump, but before he could leap up to join them, Nie Huaisang barred the way with his fan and whispered, “Ah ah ah, wait a minute and listen, you don’t want to get in the middle if they’re having a moment, do you?”

Jiang Cheng would like to go home if they were having another “moment.” He scoffed but stayed on the ground. The lovebirds up in their nest didn’t seem to have noticed the new arrivals, and he could hear their voices clearly. They weren’t quite as loud as they had been during their infamous Sunshot shouting matches arguing about Wei Wuxian’s dark cultivation path, but they weren’t quiet, either.

“Wei Ying, come back to Gusu with me.” Hearing Lan Wangji make such a bold offer, Jiang Cheng fumed. Was the strict Second Jade trying to sidestep formal marriage negotiations and convince Wei Wuxian to elope? Not on Jiang Cheng’s watch!

Jiang Cheng was about to interrupt when Wei Wuxian – shockingly – had the good sense to voice a rejection of his own accord. “Lan Zhan, I said no to you all through the war, and I’ll say no again! I can’t believe after all this you still want to punish me. I have no other choice, what is punishing me even supposed to do? You know why I can’t go back to the sword path!”

“Wei Ying, no. Does Wei Ying think I would give fifty floggings to the innocent and the guilty alike? Bringing you to Gusu would not be for punishment, only to turn danger into safety.”²

“Oh, I should be grateful you only want to lock me away forever, is that it? No beatings, just shut me up in seclusion so I can't hurt anyone with my demonic ways?”

“Wei Ying. Never.”

“But isn’t that exactly what you’re saying, that you would keep me in Gusu like a bird in a cage? Sorry Lan-er-gongzi, I’m no pretty songbird, only a crow. Even so, this poor, filthy bird is what you want? Isn’t it against your sect rules to keep a pet, Hanguang-jun?”

“Wei Ying should be free. Even if you walk into a mountain of swords and a sea of flames uncaring of whether it brings death or life, it is your choice. Just let me stand by you, never leaving, never abandoning your side. Anything could harm you as you are now: sickness, a careless arrow. Let this one protect Wei Ying.”

“Protect me?! And what if I don’t want your protection? I can protect myself! Or did you forget I fought a war, even as I am now, with only my shadow for company?”

“If Wei Ying would have only his shadow for company, then let this one be his shadow.”

“But Hanguang-jun, aren’t you meant to bear the light? Don’t be so quick to step in the shadows with me. No need to draw your sword to offer me help.”³

“Lan Wangji’s only wish is to accompany Wei Ying to old age, until our hair turns to white.”⁴

“Ah, Lan Wangji, but that’s the one thing you can’t protect me from. What can a promise like that even mean if my hair will turn white while you're still in your prime? You want to be tied to an old man who will die decades if not centuries before you? You could cultivate to immortality, how could I drag you down beside me? With no core, I can never be your match.”

Nie Huaisang had barely managed to keep Jiang Cheng restrained through the verbal sniping, but after such a revelation, Jiang Cheng couldn’t contain himself. He leapt up to the rooftop and grabbed Wei Wuxian roughly by the shoulders. Then he realized he wasn’t sure how fragile someone without a golden core might be, and he released the grip, leaving his hands gently resting on his brother’s shoulders. Jiang Cheng wasn’t crying, he was just blinking away the glare from the low angle of the sun.

“Wei Wuxian. What do you mean, you have no core.”

2. [各打五十大板] literally means to give 50 beatings to each one, and figuratively it means to treat both the innocent and the guilty equally harshly. Lan Wangji also uses the phrase [化险为夷] here (to turn danger into safety), figuratively that’s about preventing disaster. It might sound like there’s an implication about reforming Wei Wuxian, but that’s not really the idiom. return to text

3. Lan Wangji’s title, Hanguang-jun, literally means the light-bearing lord, so Wei Wuxian is contrasting that meaning with the idea of walking in the shadows. And [拔刀相助] (“draw your sword to offer help”) is an idiom for stepping in when you see injustice, or playing the white knight – the implication is that Lan Wangji is acting only out of guilt or because he thinks Wei Wuxian is weak and being treated unfairly, that Lan Wangji is trying to rescue a damsel in distress but doesn’t necessarily have a personal stake or affection.

We’ve also got several other idioms earlier in the dialogue, but I didn’t interrupt the flow with footnotes specifically for them because I didn’t think they needed the additional explanation. But if you want to keep track:

• “A bird in a cage” [笼中之鸟] means the same thing in English, someone who’s being cooped up without freedom.
• The phrase “a mountain of swords and a sea of flames” [刀山火海] refers to a place of extreme danger.
• I’ve translated [不知死活] as “uncaring of whether it brings death or life,” it’s basically a dramatic way to say reckless behavior.
• I hope [不离不弃] (“never leaving, never abandoning”) is straightforward in translation in saying that Lan Wangji is ride or die.
• [孤身只影] “only my shadow for company” means alone. Wei Wuxian is exaggerating the extent to which he was alone during Sunshot both because he's trying to push Lan Wangji away currently and because he has a poor memory.

return to text

4. Accompanying to old age, until the hair turns white [白头偕老] is an idiom very solidly tied to marriage, it’s like saying “until death do us part.” return to text

Chapter Text

"Ahahahah, Jiang Cheng, what a surprise to see my favorite shidi here, are you enjoying the Jin gardens? Lan Zhan and I were just, ah, 'enjoying' the gardens ourselves, weren't we, Lan Zhan? Really having a nice time, if you know what I mean. The gardens are lovely, don’t you think? I certainly can’t look away from the view in front of me. Isn't it such a shame that even with these extremely elegant gardens of his own around Koi Tower Jin-zongzhu still prefers the wild flowers? Then again, Lan Zhan doesn't usually grace Koi Tower's gardens with his great beauty. Wouldn't any flower's charms fade before such a shining jade?"⁵

Jiang Yanli couldn't see either of her brothers' faces from the ground, but she was sure from the sound of his grumbling that a-Cheng looked sour as old wine, and she would bet that a-Xian was giving a too-wide smile, maybe laying it on thick with a wink. She could see a-Xian's slight figure break away from a-Cheng and dance around behind Lan-er-gongzi, leaning into the broader boy's space and hanging off his shoulder. Flirtatious displays often would fluster a-Cheng into storming off, but Yanli suspected he wouldn't be dissuaded easily today.

Sure enough, a-Cheng only stepped closer to a-Xian. He tried to reach out, but a-Xian kept spinning away, unabashedly using Lan-er-gongzi as a shield. Lan-er-gongzi did not move, but he made a protest: "Wei Ying."

A-Xian had misunderstood Lan-er-gongzi even when he'd been much more eloquent a minute prior, and now the only response was a whiny, "Lan Zhaaaan." A-Xian continued dodging away from a-Cheng, who was now hissing with frustration.

Lan-er-gongzi made a second attempt, slightly less stilted than the first. "Wei Ying, Jiang Wanyin is your sect leader."

“Oh, and I should behave properly in front of my esteemed sect leader? Am I being too childish for you, Lan Zhan? You glide in saying you care for me, but did you forget that I am disrespectful, demonic, the worst disciple your uncle ever taught? Lan Zhan, I'll never be a perfect little rule-abiding Lan, no matter how many times you try to reform me or punish me. Might as well cut me loose now. If you can’t handle me like this, then you certainly can’t handle me at my worst. You shouldn't involve yourself in business that's not your own, anyway. This is internal to the Jiang.”

Yanli sympathized with poor Lan-er-gongzi as a-Xian swung from bickering to cloyingly sweet and back again. The relationship between her two brothers went through similar highs and lows. Between that and the physical intimacy everyone had seen Lan-er-gongzi initiate, he might be nearly family now. She decided she could call him Lan Wangji going forward.

Distracted with verbally lashing out at Lan Wangji, a-Xian missed a lunge from her other brother. A-Cheng caught his wrist, and a-Xian thrashed but didn't (couldn't?) break free of the hold. He quickly stopped struggling, and his shoulders slumped.

Meanwhile, Lan Wangji seemed bowled over by the wave of words, but he recovered enough to persist with another, “Wei Ying.” He set his stance more firmly. “I stand by Wei Ying, whether you show respect for Jiang Wanyin or not. Yet how can you remain Jiang if you do not honor his trust? How can he rely on your strength to protect your shidis and shimeis when he does not know your weaknesses?”

A-Xian ignored the grip on his wrist to spit a retort back at Lan Wangji: “He is my shidi! It's my duty to protect him, and I can do that just fine. How dare you, Lan Wangji. Jiang Cheng trusts me, and that’s all that matters. Don’t interfere.”

Lan Wangji let out a plaintive “Wei Ying,” but he didn’t manage to find any other words before Nie Huaisang craned his neck towards the rooftop encounter and spoke up.

“Oh hey up there! Friends, I’m sure I don’t want to get tangled up in any of what’s going on up there.” He paused to gesture broadly at the other boys (and, Yanli suspected, build up the anticipation) before addressing them further. “Ah, if it isn’t any of Lan-xiong’s business, it certainly isn’t any of mine, but, you know, you’re all very loud? So it’s hard to ignore? But I just wanted to say, as a younger brother myself, I would always want to know if my da-ge was having a difficult time. Because a secret is only more trouble if there’s no one to share it with, you know? And I may be weak – certainly this one is much weaker than Jiang-xiong! – but I’m not helpless. And maybe it would be scary to hear something was wrong with my da-ge, but then at least I could do something. If something happened to da-ge while I did nothing, then I don’t think I would ever be able to rest again.”

Nie Huaisang looked wide-eyed at Yanli and fanned himself furiously. Then he brought the fan up between them and leaned a bit closer, whispering to her behind his fan. “Oh, I really – I, I think I just realized something. I have to talk to da-ge!”

Yanli nodded encouragingly.

Nie Huaisang looked back towards the hall where the narrowly-averted-wedding party was still in the process of noisily falling apart, and he returned to fanning himself. His voice went from a fierce whisper to a slurred mumble, and Yanli could barely make out the words. “No, no, talking directly to da-ge is a terrible idea. And san-ge won’t admit it even if he does know. Er-ge is the weak link. No, that won’t work, either, he won’t lie, but he won’t tell me…Not unless he’s drunk, ah, that’s it!”

Despite his frequent fainting fits and complaints, Nie Huaisang could move quickly when motivated. Yanli was seeing the evidence of that firsthand as the boy called back to her through a hedge, already past the first bend in the path. “Thank you, Jiang-jie! I just remembered I have somewhere else I need to be, but I wish you the best with your brothers, I’m sure everything will turn out fine!”

Yanli should have had far more significant concerns on her mind (her brothers calling out family business in the open air, puzzling out what had prompted Nie Huaisang’s sudden departure, the likelihood that the boy was planning to trick Zewu-jun into drinking), but she found herself fixating on the new term of address Nie Huaisang had bestowed upon her. She had rarely spoken to or even seen him before, and she imagined her mother would have chastised her for permitting the familiarity of “Jiang-jie” even once. Propriety said Yanli should object the next time she encountered Nie Huaisang. But her mother had also disapproved of closeness with a-Xian, and she could never consider that a mistake. Her brothers had both told her many stories of their hijinks with the Nie heir and seemed to have formed a close bond with him. She supposed she could care for their friend as a third didi. Or fourth, if Lan Wangji was also joining the family.

The sharp, almost vicious tone of a-Xian’s voice recalled Yanli’s attention to the argument on the roof as he said, “Just look at me now! What kind of immortal would help someone so soaked in resentment? Surely anyone would imagine this miserable wretch is too corrupt to be worthy of help, perhaps teetering on the edge of becoming a demon. It wouldn’t work.”

“How could you give up without trying? What about your Lan Wangji’s stupid music? He’s been trying to play for you since the beginning of the war, you think he would stop now? If he purified you, why shouldn’t Baoshan Sanren accept you?”

A-Xian seemed to stumble over his words as he tried to respond, saying, “I don’t– it wouldn’t– ah, just drop it, okay Jiang Cheng? I just know it can’t work, trust your shixiong.”

A-Cheng was sputtering just as much. “You– what– how dare– Wei Wuxian! No, I’m not going to just trust you on this. You’ve been hiding this from me for years now, who’s to say you aren’t hiding anything else? This is too suspicious. Asking me to trust that she wouldn’t help even though she already helped once? You, who always thought the motto ‘attempt the impossible’ should be embossed directly on your heart? I can’t believe you. What are you hiding?”

“Ah, I can’t say it, please, don’t make me, Jiang Cheng. If you hate me, I can take it. But I can’t hurt you with this, I really never wanted you to have to worry about any of this. Jiang Cheng.”

“Who’s worried? You’re always getting yourself into trouble you can’t get out of on your own, how is this any different? I always have to fix the messes you make, don’t be stubborn. Idiot.”

“Aiya, Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng, you don’t have to be so sweet to me!” In spite of the bright teasing tone, Yanli thought a-Xian’s voice sounded hollow with melancholy. The darkness emerged more plainly in his next words: “I’m not worth it now, anyway. Did you really think I could walk out of the Burial Mounds intact? I’m not the same person you cared for before, don’t try to move mountains and drain the seas for me. There are some things you just can’t fix, it’s okay.”

Yanli had heard rumors of where a-Xian had spent his missing months, but she had never wanted to believe the most terrifying of them. How could anyone survive one night in the Burial Mounds, let alone months? The haze of death and resentment alone could smother anything living, and the hungry hordes of corpses could have no mercy in their cold, still hearts. A sob shook through Yanli at the thought of her sensitive, smiling didi left in that graveyard alone.

She could not fail him this way again. Since childhood, a-Xian had loudly complained over papercuts and bland food, but he had hidden himself away any time he had been truly hurt, like a skittish alley cat. Even now, he would readily whine to her about the travails of narrow escapes from unwanted suitors, yet he had laughed off concerns about his cultivation and breathed not a word of his missing core to anyone. Well, anyone except his Lan Wangji, it seemed.

Yanli hoped she could prove worthy of his trust now, even if he hadn’t meant to share his secret with her or a-Cheng. He might be panicking about the accidental reveal, so she would need to soothe him before asking any more questions or letting a-Cheng continue with his interrogation. To prepare, Yanli drew upon her memory of the first time a-Xian had broken a bone. Frightened by the crack in his arm and her mother’s scolding, a-Xian had fled into the mists around Lotus Pier faster than anyone could follow. Yanli had run out into the darkness and shouted his name until she was hoarse, but she hadn’t managed to find him until the next morning. In spite of his broken arm, he had secreted himself up in the boughs of the big sawtooth oak and clung silently to a branch the entire night. It had taken all of Yanli’s honeyed words and a few honeyed cakes to coax him down to the ground.

Today, she would coax him down again. Yanli forced herself to breathe deep and slow before calling, “A-Xian! You don’t have to stay the same to be loved. No matter how much you grow, you’ll always be my Xianxian, won’t you? And you don’t have to be strong, either, or useful. You’re my didi, and I love you. Please, won’t you come here and let your jiejie hold you?”

He froze in place. “Shijie–”

“It’s ‘jiejie,’ please, you must know you are truly a brother to me, and to a-Cheng.”

“But Madam Yu–”

“Shh, a-Xian. We can respect the dead without letting them control us from the grave. I love my mother, but I can’t accept the way she treated you. And while she wouldn’t agree with me in this matter, I still believe she would be proud of me for knowing my own mind and holding strong to my beliefs. You are our brother. I only regret not making it clear earlier. Please, a-Xian, won’t you come down to me?”

Huffing, a-Cheng shoved at their brother’s shoulder. “You better not upset a-Jie,” he said, “Brat, don’t make her beg, give a-Jie some face.”

A-Xian rolled to the ground and sagged into Yanli’s arms. As he relaxed into her embrace, she felt his bones poking out of his body more than they should – her a-Xian had grown so tall, yet even with her weak strength it was easy to support his weight. She took some comfort in feeling his muscles gradually soften, like a leaf of fresh cabbage soaking in the warmth of steam all around it. Still, he was trembling, and although he had nestled childlike into the crook of her neck, she could feel the damp tracks of his tears against her skin.

Yanli rubbed over his shoulder blades (too sharp!), stroked his hair, and held him close. The other boys came down from the roof but kept a careful distance. She waited for a-Xian’s breathing to settle, then before he could take stock of his situation and start fermenting in embarrassment, she spooned up the next course. Next to his ear, she asked, “A-Xian, is there anything I could do to lose your love?”

“Shijie! What do you mean? Of course not!”

“Jiejie,” she corrected.

He picked his head up off her shoulder and stared into her eyes, full of wonder. “Jiejie,” he whispered, “Jiejie, you’re too good, this one doesn’t deserve you.” He hid his face against her neck again, nudging delicately as though he wasn’t sure of his welcome.

“Xianxian always deserves the love of his family,” Yanli told him. “If there is nothing your jiejie could do to lose your love, why should she feel any differently about you?”

“Jiejie is perfect. It’s not the same. I did such terrible things, sh-jiejie,” a-Xian caught himself before he addressed her improperly, but he still refused to look up, mumbling his words into Yanli’s neck.

“Everyone has to make difficult decisions, a-Xian, even me. Sometimes we have no good choices, and sometimes we don’t see the best choice when we’re hurt or scared or tired. It doesn’t make you a bad person.”

His voice was so small now that Yanli wouldn’t have been able to hear if his mouth hadn’t been right next to her ear. “In the Burial Mounds, I ate, I…don’t make me say it, please, there wasn’t anything else, I’m disgusting. I’m tainted, you shouldn’t want–”

“Sometimes we have no good choices.”

“But shijie–”

“Jiejie.”

“Jiejie,” he acquiesced. “Jiejie, even in the worst of times, you can pluck the good out. You would never do anything wrong.”

Considering that they had fought in war, her brothers had a strange innocence about them when it came to Yanli. She took a deep breath and pulled a-Xian’s face back to make him meet her eyes. “I killed people. In the war. Four people dead at my hand.”

Her brothers both exploded at once, with a-Xian saying, “I’m sure they deserved it!” while a-Cheng fumed, “How dare they threaten you! A-Jie, when were you even in battle? You shouldn’t have–”

She had to stop them before they went in the wrong direction. “No, no, it wasn’t like that. It was–sometimes, soldiers, soldiers on our side, they would be brought into the medic tents but there was nothing we could do. And, they knew it, and some of them said they didn’t want to continue…I gave them a very large dose of poppy, for the pain. Too large. It was four times, four people.”

A-Xian’s forehead slipped down to press against her cheek. “Oh,” he breathed. “Oh. Yanli-jie. Sometimes. I think someone should do that for me.”

“No!” Yanli’s horrified gasp hissed out involuntarily, but her brother kept going as though she hadn’t interrupted.

“There’s nothing much left of me, just a bag of blood and booze. Maybe it’s better to stop me now. Before I become something worse.”

“We all changed in the war, but you’re still so good, a-Xian! You just need a little help. Let us help you, didi. You’re not alone.”

“Wei Ying is good,” a-Xian’s young man agreed.

A-Xian did not agree. He was talking into her shoulder again. “Isn’t it too late now? I’ve kept secrets for so long. And some things can’t be fixed. How can I help rebuild Lotus Pier without a core? How could I stand by anyone’s side?”

Her didi was so stupid, but she loved him anyway. “A-Xian, I have never been able to cultivate with the sword. Do you think my life is not worth living?”

“No no no, of course not! Sh-Jiejie is perfect, and charitable, and such a talented cook. It’s just, it’s different for me. I was supposed to be Jiang Cheng’s right-hand man, I was supposed to be Lan Zhan’s zhiji, I swore to always stand with justice. How can I stand with justice when I can barely stand at all without using resentment to hold myself together? What am I supposed to be now?”

“You’re supposed to be my didi. You are still my didi. The rest we can figure out as we go.”

“Wei Ying is still my zhiji. Wei Ying is Wei Ying.” Yanli thought that Lan Wangji was doing an admirable job expressing support, considering his limitations with words.

Unfortunately, a-Cheng was not ready for acceptance. He was still problem-solving, insisting, “You’re supposed to keep trying! And we can try other things, too, but isn’t it obvious that starting with Baoshan Sanren–”

“Enough about Baoshan Sanren! I don’t want to hear it.” A-Xian had gone stiff as a corpse in her arms. She felt a tickle of resentment along her hand, but she refused to let go.

“She’s the one who can help you!”

“She can’t, Jiang Cheng, just stop it! She can’t help.”

“She did help!”

“She didn’t!”

“She clearly did, you can see the results!” Zidian sparked on a-Cheng’s hand.

“I don’t even know how to find her.” Shadows were writhing around a-Xian, and Yanli was having more and more difficulty breathing through the heavy smog.

“But you found her before, why can’t you do it the same way again?”

“I didn’t, I didn’t, it wasn’t her, okay? Just let it go, Jiang Cheng. Just let me go.” A-Xian was squirming, but he still wasn’t willing to pry away Yanli’s arms.

“Wei Wuxian! Why are you lying? I talked to her, gave her the whole speech you made me learn. What do you think you know, you weren’t even there.”

A-Xian started laughing and couldn’t seem to stop. It wasn’t a pretty laugh. It was something humorless and dark, a storm surge welling up out of his chest. If her brother had had a core, she would have feared he was qi-deviating. The resentment coiled more tightly around him, and around Yanli. She kept holding on.

Lan Wangji tried to break in with a “Wei Ying,” but Yanli’s brothers only had eyes for each other. A-Xian’s laugh faded into a growl. “So, you really want to know? Really, truly?”

A-Cheng was right in his face. “Yes, asshole! I’ve been trying to get you talking for months now! Why won’t you trust me? Do you think I’m stupid?”

In a surprising show of restraint, a-Xian breezed past the question of a-Cheng’s intelligence without comment. Yanli was having trouble appreciating the finer points of the conversation as she grew dizzier under the weight of resentment, but she kept holding onto her brother, and she managed to focus enough to hear his muttering. “Well, the secret’s half out now already. If he’s going to find out anyway…yeah, it’s better if he hears it from me.”

A-Xian looked up towards a-Cheng, then he promptly mashed his face in the crook of Yanli’s neck again. “It was Wen Qing,” he confessed to her shoulder.

But a-Cheng didn’t have any trouble catching the words, even if they were muffled against Yanli’s skin. He continued the interrogation. “What do you mean? Wen Qing couldn’t restore a golden core!”

“That’s right, she couldn’t. No one could. No one did.” A-Xian returned to that deeply unsettling laugh, and Yanli missed the transition into phlegmy, hiccupping sobs, but she noticed her shoulder was wet again. She swayed but managed to keep her footing. She felt strangely giggly, and like she was listening from somewhere far away. But she could keep listening, and she kept holding on.

A-Cheng was talking next. “You’re not making any sense, then how did– no!”

Whoever was holding Yanli’s hand was shaking, so she gave a comforting squeeze in return, and she opened her eyes. She didn’t remember closing them. She didn’t remember lying down, either, but she realized she was on the ground. The sound of a guqin resonated nearby.

“Oh, she’s waking up! Shijie, shijie, are you okay?” A-Xian was leaning over her.

“Jiejie,” she said slowly as she re-oriented herself. She made a show of pouting.

“Jiejie. Yes, right. Jiejie, I’m so sorry, this was my fault, I didn’t think about how close you were and of course resentful energy would affect you differently if you’re fighting it instead of letting it in, I’m not fit to be around people anymore so I’ll just–”

“My Xianxian is always welcome, don’t leave me.” He had been trying to wiggle away, but she refused to release his hand. She blinked and checked over herself. Someone must have caught her before she fell to the ground, because nothing was sore. “I feel just fine, no harm done.”

“Wei Ying should not let resentful energy in, either. Resentful energy harms the body and mind.”

Yanli could feel a-Xian tense, but he didn’t break away while she was still holding his hand. “Haven’t you scolded me enough, Hanguang-jun? I know I disgust you, but this is all I can be now. You can’t accept me like this, I would only taint you.”

“Wei Ying is beautiful, body and mind.” The usually-prim Lan Wangji slowly rolled his gaze from a-Xian’s face all along his body and then back up again. Yanli almost found herself blushing at the intensity, even though it wasn’t directed at her. Her naive didi’s defenses couldn’t hold against such a look; his face colored so adorably. “Even if worry for you ties my heart in a hundred knots, every moment at Wei Ying’s side is worth a thousand gold.”

At this declaration, a-Xian dropped down beside Yanli and covered his face with her sleeve. “Lan Zhan! You can’t say such things to me, at least warn me!”

“Warning.”

Yanli could swear the slight curve to the Lan heir’s lips was a smile. She would never have suspected the Second Jade of teasing, but she supposed he was a younger brother, too. A-Xian whined and rolled on the ground.

A-Cheng had probably been sick of this display before it began. He scrunched up his face and hissed, “Wei Wuxian! Have you no dignity, rolling about in the dirt like this? At least have a care for your robes, see if I ever help you find wedding robes again if you’re going to treat them like this.”

A-Xian immediately perked up. “Aww, Chengcheng, don’t worry, these robes are so nice, you don’t have to do anything more.”

“So nice? As if I could let my brother be married in hand-me-down robes. These are adequate for a slapdash fake wedding, but I would be ashamed to offer you so little when you truly take your bows.”

Tears welled up in a-Xian’s eyes. “Ah, Jiang Cheng, you can’t be so generous with me, I’ll take advantage.”

“If you’re feeling grateful, you can show it by having the smallest sliver of decency. Even if Hanguang-jun has already defiled you in public once, that doesn’t mean you can be shameless just anywhere! Save some face for the Jiang clan: no touching until the wedding. And don’t even think about eloping, we’re going to do this properly. Got it?”

“You really– you think– am I going to be married then? But surely even if the esteemed Hanguang-jun for some reason is fond of me, that can’t be enough to make such a depraved one as this be worthy of marriage. Lan Zhan could keep me as a secret and then be free to marry someone better, I wouldn’t mind that, I shouldn’t ask for more than I deserve.”

Yanli felt tears well up in her eyes as she heard the vulnerability in a-Xian’s quavering voice. She wished she could steep all her love into a pot of tea and pour it down his throat until the warm weight in his stomach was undeniable, and he couldn’t help but recognize how much his family valued him. As she pulled him closer into her arms, she could see a-Cheng grinding his teeth about to erupt with his own angrier version of the same sentiment. But Lan Wangji spoke up first.

“I will marry Wei Ying.” Slowly and deliberately, he wrapped the tail of his forehead ribbon around a-Xian’s slender wrist. A-Xian’s mouth dropped open as Lan Wangji’s hand closed around his arm.

"Ahh, that's so much, Lan Zhan! Okay okay I see you're committed, no matter how foolishly. Jiang Cheng, look at this, you should have addressed your complaint of shamelessness to Lan Zhan instead of me! After all, what can I do to protest if a powerful cultivator grabs onto me or pins me down to have his way with me? This poor servant is just a weak, coreless body, Lan Zhan could do anything to me at all. How could I defend the Jiang sect's honor against such a strong advance?"

Yanli couldn't help but laugh as she watched a-Xian's smile get wider and wider with every inflammatory word while a-Cheng's face turned a deep shade of puce. After so much pain, it was a relief to see a-Xian playing again. She thought she detected a hint of pink on Lan Wangji's ears, but other than that he reacted not at all. Well, the boy would have to have a remarkably thick face to handle her a-Xian.

She ruffled her most ridiculous brother's hair and said, "Of course you'll have a chaperone, didi."

He spluttered, "What, a chaperone? I'm not some blushing maiden!"

A-Cheng had regained enough composure to string words together, and he strung them into a fisherman’s net. “You may not be a maiden, but without a core you’re more delicate than one. Don’t think you’re slipping away with all the excuses you’ve been giving, you still haven’t explained what happened to you! You said it was Wen Qing who helped me, not Baoshan Sanren. So then why can’t Wen Qing help you? Is Lan Wangji right, is it the demonic cultivation?”

“She can’t, I told you she never knew how to restore a core. I thought I could– I didn’t mean to say– never mind. Sh-Jiejie, let me go.”

Yanli did not let go. “A-Xian, stay. We love you, all of us. You don’t need to get your core back to be loved, you just need to be you. It hurts me to see you suffering and not even know what’s wrong. Won’t you let us share the load?”

“Ah, but it’s not your load to bear. I made my choices, I don’t want you to feel any burden from them. It’s better for you to separate from me, just look at how much trouble I cause.”

“Hearing about your burdens might cause pain, but your silence already hurts me and a-Cheng every day. How can you doubt your importance to us when you’ve seen how desperate I am to hold onto you, even when you shroud yourself in dark energy? The suffocation of resentment could never compare to the ache of losing you.”

“You don’t play fair, jiejie. I can’t– ah, but I also can’t– jiejie, you can’t do this! You have to promise to stay away when I’m dangerous, when I’m not in control. I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t hurt yourself for me.”

“Then don’t hurt yourself for me.”

“Idiot,” muttered a-Cheng.

Tears flowed down a-Xian’s cheeks freely. For a moment, he looked so young, like the lost little boy her father had brought back so many years ago. “Then, if I tell, you promise to keep yourself safe?”

“I promise.” Yanli didn’t mention that she was sure she would always be safe with her didis.

“Ah, I can’t, ah, but I can’t not, but, okay, so Jiang Cheng, this is, you called me your brother earlier, and you have to know, you have to understand, I feel the same way. You’re my brother, too. And I would do anything for you. It’s because of who you are to me, and you don’t owe me anything, okay? You’re so important to me. And you needed– Wen Qing, she never knew how to restore a core, but. She…” his voice trailed off, and then as though choking down a bitter medicine, he swallowed the last few words in a croak: “she knew how to transfer one.”

Yanli froze, and her mind went blurry like a sheet of paper dunked in water, all the ink running together illegibly and ready to rip in the slightest breeze. Although she could see a-Cheng holding onto a-Xian’s shoulders and shaking back and forth, it seemed like a-Cheng’s voice came from a distance as he screamed, “No! I don’t want it! Take it back! Make her put it back!”

“See, this is why— I need a drink.” A-Xian pulled himself out of a-Cheng’s limp grip and slipped away.

5. Although I’m sure the gardens of Koi Tower are well-manicured, Wei Ying is more alluding to metaphorical flowers, with flowers in the Jin garden referring to the lady of the house, while the wild flowers refer to women outside of Jin Guangshan’s and Madam Jin’s marriage. A related idiom that he isn’t exactly quoting is [家花没有野花香], or “the flowers at home don’t match the wildflowers’ fragrance.”
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