Chapter Text
By the moment he returned to being "normal" Ralph already knew he had no luck at anything, never and ever. That bad feeling that consumed him right after the plane left his hometown has been inside his ribcage for the rest of his existence. When he found himself on that traumatizing and idyllic island, and even when he heard the screams of rage and saw the blood drip away into the ocean. And even when he returned to the softness of his bed and the itchiness of the therapist's couch.
That awful feeling never disappeared. Instead, it grew inside like a malignant disease- Or a hole of nothingness. It was so empty yet overflowed with that dark feeling, just as if it was a magnet of ill fortune that never ceased to grow. It did not hurt, tho. That was one thing to feel relieved about. But every time he felt it inside his guts, he knew. He was reminded of this chronic black spot in him, never to be filled and never to vanish. His bad luck was a curse he could not undo.
He gulped as he stared at the sweet shop. It was a tiny building right at the corner of the block. On sunny days it seemed to disappear under the beaming rays of sunshine, even though most of the time, the reddish-almost-pink walls were glistening in the middle of the cold rain and the grey clouds.
Ralph could not move towards the confectionery, despite knowing he had to. His heart racing looked like it was scolding him to go forward and open the door. He knew who was inside, and he knew he was about to have a mental breakdown sooner or later because of this.
He shivered under the drizzle that started to attack his naked neck as he finally gathered enough energy and motivation to take a few steps toward the shop.
With each step he took, his knuckles were brighter, his heart raced faster, his cheeks were redder, and the hole inside his ribs seemed to shrink. Ralph closed his eyes whilst opening the door, welcomed by a tinkling sound nearly piercing his ears.
" Oh, welcome in, young man!" A chirpy voice said as her figure approached him, "Blimey! You're soaking wet."
The lady standing in front of him was just like him. He peered at her with lost eyes: A podgy woman with a light brown ponytail and rosy cheeks. Her soft-coloured apron had a little name tag that said "Petunia".
His heart skipped almost three beats. Everything was happening so fast that he didn't even get a chance to introduce himself to that woman, who went to the back of the counter.
"Umm, I am-" He said, placing himself in front of the counter. He could not even look at Petunia as he felt that horrible black hole shrink and expand in unison, threatening to eat his whole heart.
"I know who you are, silly" She giggled " Ralph Allback." He looked up back at her in disbelief. She eyed back at him with the sweetest and brightest orbs he had ever seen, full of bittersweetness.
It was true. After all, when every kid came back, there were on the covers of the news for quite a long time. It was exhausting. But it could have been worse: he could have been dead, one of the three little English kids that never made it.
He couldn't say anything since there were no correct words to express the pain. There was no voice inside his throat, which seemed to be blocked by a tight knot. He could only soften his gaze and slowly nod.
" You look like such a fine gentleman... I know my little Peter would've loved you," She talked, turning to her right to see a little rectangle hanging on the wall.
Ralph followed her eyes and encountered a little chubby boy smiling at him through the portrait's frame. That round head shape, slicked hair and even rounder glasses were unmistakable. It was him, Piggy. He looked younger and happier. He looked full of life. Alive.
Piggy's aunt never knew the details; no one did. Ralph was too scared and sad to say a thing, and he hated himself for being such a coward. And he hated himself even more, looking at him in that faultless portrait. That is all Piggy will ever be able to be, a sheet of paper smiling from the walls of a hidden sweet shop. That was the only thing that stayed.
"Would you like tea or hot chocolate? This one is on the house" She grinned.
Before he could even answer, that tinkling attacked his ears once more.
"Ah, welcome again, Jack! Long time no see!" Her attention span flew out the board, directing her attention to the one who entered the shop.
The name itself made Ralph shiver in utter horror. At first, he couldn't look up at the new customer, in fear that Jack was Jack. But it couldn't be... Right? That would be something surreal, almost impossible.
"It's nice to see you too, Miss," That voice replied as Ralph lost it completely. He almost broke his neck whilst turning at him with indecipherable eyes.
There he was. A humbly smiling teen, tall, slim, ginger. With piercing cold eyes and the softened gaze of what used to be a killer. A monster.
The hole that almost ate his entire heart was squirming whilst they both received each other with blank stares. Like a dormant volcano, that horrifying abyss inside him started to eject scorching heat and rage that couldn't keep him from coming to his senses anymore.
Almost automatically, he jumped off the stool. He wasn't sure what he was doing since he couldn't have self-control.
" What a coincidence! You two must know each other, don't cha?" The joyous woman celebrated, unaware of the air full of tension.
" What are you doing here?" Ralph asked. Although he was pretty shocked, his question came off as a threat full of anger. The ginger turned so pale that his face looked splattered with blood instead of freckles. Without saying anything, Jack turned around and exited the building.
" Oh, what's the matter?" Petunia asked with disappointment. But Ralph couldn't answer. He felt like dying on the inside. His heart was about to escape through his throat whilst the blood skyrocketed to his head. He was mad. The adrenaline made him feel so powerful yet so reckless that he could only want to chase Jack.
" Where do ya think you're goin'!?" He shouted, leaving the shop and following the red curls.
He sped up, turning to the right and entering the park. The cold drizzle was now pouring rain, but that did not stop Ralph from having this scorching fire inside him. The rage that consumed him was getting carried away to Merridew. He hurried enough to be right behind his back and grabbed his shoulder.
" What d'you want?" The ginger was annoyed.
" How dare you?" Ralph couldn't contain his thoughts as he blurted it all out, " How dare you go there and get on with the aunt of the kid you murdered!?"
"Shut up already!" Jack shoved Ralph enough to break the physical contact. But Ralph wasn't done yet.
" You have no shame! And you've no business there too!" Ralph formed an angry fist driven by his hate, crashing into Jack's nose.
The blond felt the shakiness go down his spine as he saw the contrary step backwards. Jack touched the pain and noticed a strand of redness was coming out of it. His face deformed in agony whilst his legs failed, falling to the wet pavement.
The knot on Ralph's throat was about to asphyxiate him again as he bent down in front of him, holding Jack's shoulders. He wanted to apologise profusely for that angry outburst. Instead, he received a killing stare and a fist aimed at his left eye.
Now it was Ralph who was on the floor. He breathed the cold air whilst admiring the grey-pale sky as the pouring rain rinsed off his guilt and shame.
Jack appeared again in front of him, detaining his arms and legs. The blood from his nose dripped carelessly enough to end on Ralph's forehead. His watery eyes witnessed the ginger trying to say something but couldn't pronounce it.
The scene was like their last day on the island as if the Chief above him had chased him. The blood did nothing but worsen the nostalgia. Jack's blood felt like the sow's thick blood, like Simon's and Piggy's. The redness was torturing both of them. With another powerful outburst of anger, he sacrificed his little energy to get Jack off him. He threw Jack to his side and took the same position, delivering another punch to the ginger's bloody face.
" ...I know" Ralph raised his fist once more whilst gripping the collar with his left hand but stopped because of that murmur " I know I can't say sorry."
Jack's voice was soft and trembling as his closed eyes tried to avoid the tears as the rain washed the blood away. With each drip, the face of a savage, the mask of a killer, disappeared to discover those tiny speckles in his skin. Ralph saw again that boy he once befriended, a young Jack Merridew, a scared choirboy trying to be brave enough to shoo away the feeling of despair.
Ralph's eyes widened as he backed away from Jack, sitting in front of him.
" For heaven's sake, what are you doing!?" A female voice scolded them. Petunia stood a few meters away, holding an umbrella " Ya're acting like kids!"
Acting like kids? Like a crowd of kids.
Both Ralph and Jack looked at each other with pain and nostalgia. It felt so horrible yet so warm seeing Piggy again. They gave her a slight smile that instantly became a pout as they started to bawl their eyes out.
" Oh, don't cry! Come on, let's go back to the shop. I'll get ya some towels and a cuppa of hot cocoa." She replied, taking their hands and leading them back to the sweet shop.
The tinkling noise went unnoticed as the two were seated with towels wrapped around them in front of two vapoury mugs.
" Once again, I have a shite luck." Thought Ralph whilst sneezing. He could see himself bedridden for the next few days after that fight under the rain.
As he saw a silent Jack sitting on his left, he noticed him staring at Piggy's photograph. It hurt so bad the hole inside his ribs was now twisting in pain. Then, it felt cosier and quieter. He followed Jack's eyes and encountered that comforting smile.
"Tea-time with him. That would've been hysterical." Ralph whispered without thinking the other heard, but Jack chuckled at the thought.
"Can you imagine?" He replied with a smile that eased the tension away.
That dark feeling inside Ralph was now more bearable, just like it was more a hue of grey than pitch black. Maybe it was the sweetened atmosphere of the shop, the quiet lullabies from the rain, the cosiness of hot cocoa, or even the affirming smile of Peter through the picture. But at least he felt his wise friend Piggy still around him.