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Leonard sat at his desk sullenly. Of all the stupid... He could have looked further before performing the test. He should have isolated the wavelength needed to destroy the creature first, but he was in such a hurry to save Spock. No, to save the people on the planet. But watching Spock be in so much pain... The way his normally flat brow creased and his lips tightened into a thin line. And watching the pain meter max out as he scanned Spock.
Oh, Spock could talk about his Vulcan pain control all he wanted, but Leonard's instruments didn't lie. He knew it was all Spock could do to have not been screaming at the top of his lungs.
Leonard sighed. Now, Spock was lying in bed recovering. And he was completely blind. Leonard got up and walked over to Spock's bedside.
"Hello, Doctor McCoy," said Spock, staring straight at the ceiling.
"How did you know it was me?"
"Simple inference," said Spock. "What you would call Occam's Razor."
Leonard rolled his eyes. He looked at Spock's face staring passively at the ceiling. How could Spock not be angry with him? The damned unfeeling robot. He wished Spock was angry at him. Hell, there was a reason Leonard was always trying to get a rise out of him. Why couldn't he yell? Scream? Say he'd never be forgiven? Just feel something. The way Leonard's passion clashed with Spock's cool exterior could be as exciting as it was frustrating. Spock would never see the look on Leonard's face when he yelled at him again. Nor would he see Leonard's smile when he saw a fleeting emotion alight on Spock's face.
"Dammit Spock, I'm sorry," Leonard sighed.
"The Captain is right," Spock assured him calmly. "It wasn't your fault."
"Why can't you just yell at me like a normal person?" Leonard huffed.
"There's no reason," said Spock. "And it would be unbecoming."
"Well, I wouldn't mind in this case," Leonard sighed.
"Punishing yourself will help neither of us, Doctor," said Spock. "You saved my life."
Leonard looked at Spock, shocked by the earnest way he spoke. "The pain is really gone?"
"I'm only sore now," said Spock. "But it was... excruciating. I was afraid you might see me..."
"What?" asked McCoy, intrigued. "Cry?"
The deep breath Spock took, told Leonard 'Yes'
The fact Spock was willing to admit this to him, that'd he'd told him he was afraid, must have meant something. It was a profound sign of trust. Though he'd had quite a day, so maybe he'd just slipped.
"Doctor..." Spock spoke up suddenly, sounding intrigued.
"What is it Spock?" asked Leonard, looking at him with concern.
"I believe I'm regaining sight."
"Really?!" Leonard leaned over him, grabbing a scope and looking into his eyes. Spock's pupils expanded and contracted slightly under the light and Leonard's heart leapt.
"Ah, yes," said Spock, "I'd completely forgotten."
Leonard wondered if Spock was aware he was smiling slightly. "Forgotten what?"
"My inner eyelids behind my corneas. They must have protected me."
The asshole sounded so goddamn flippant. Like he hadn't momentarily thought he'd been blinded for life.
"Is that a Vulcan thing?" Leonard asked, trying not to sound irritated.
Spock turned his head and locked eyes with Leonard. "I see you," he said, almost gently.
Leonard felt his heart skip a beat and wondered what the hell was wrong with him. He'd never reacted to Spock like that before. He'd seen Jim go gaga staring into those brown eyes. Jim saw emotion there that Leonard never did. But now he saw... something. Something warm. Leonard shook it off.
"Come on. Let's go tell Jim," he said. And he resolved to never think about that warm look, ever again.
- END -