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Dazai was never really an emotional person, so she didn’t really have much of an idea about what to do with her feelings towards Chuuya.
She’s known Chuuya since middle school, she’s even loved her since middle school, but it is only recently that she’s realized that and yeah, she feels kind of dumb for not knowing sooner, but she had never really been in tune with her emotions in the first place. She knew her when she was young and only ever wore jeans and long shorts, when her hair was short and pulled into two cute little braids, and her freckles were far too prominent against her pale skin.
She knew Chuuya now, when her shorts and jeans turned into dark skirts and dresses, when her hair reached her back and was kept swept over her shoulder, when her skin got tanner and her freckles looked subtle against it.
Chuuya never used to be girly, and then she was more of a girl than Dazai ever was or would be.
Dazai still loved her the same, she never truly changed.
She was still fiery, still passionate, still had that tomboy attitude, still caring and motherly. She didn’t change the way she’d glare when someone stepped out of line with her, she never changed every grin and smirk that stretched her face. Chuuya was still short, she was still strong. She was still everything that Dazai loved.
And they hadn’t really talked in those 4 years after graduating from college. They both had been busy and while Dazai does hate to admit it, she had been in a bad place most of her life that she had just started working through, so that had taken up most of her attention besides her job as a detective.
Still though, Dazai was only a girl in love, and if she knew enough about being in love and being herself, then a 4 year gap wasn’t going to stop her from meeting up with Chuuya after so long.
A small cafe just a city away. It was the best compromise she could make since they both lived 2 cities apart. She’s lucky Chuuya even agreed at all seeing as she always seemed so busy.
(No, she doesn’t know this because she stalks her every social. No, she doesn’t even know Chuuya has socials.
Which is a lie)
Getting there for Dazai was a 2-and-a-half-hour drive, for Chuuya, it was only 2. That didn’t stop Dazai from getting there an hour before their meet up time. That was, as she quickly realized, a mistake. Now, she couldn’t stop anxiously shifting in her seat and checking the time that couldn’t possibly move any slower.
Dazai was not ever known to be someone who got nervous or anxious over anything. She wasn’t even an anxious person to begin with, but when the circumstance is ‘meeting up with a girl you’ve been in love with for almost a decade and haven’t talked to in 4 years’, then it really is understandable.
She wondered if her hair was alright, she’d cut it during those 4 years. Dazai has gotten taller, begun to dress more modestly and comfortably, she’s explored and learned more about herself that she could hopefully share, and in turn, find out more about Chuuya again. They had been close when they knew each other, something like frenemies really, but that didn’t stop them from having a strong connection.
Absently, Dazai played with her phone. She didn’t really have anything on it besides a game or two and mostly apps to help her do her job on the fly, other than it was quite boring. She could use another game, maybe she could even ask Chuuya for recommendations.
And then the cafe’s door bell rang and when Dazai looked up, in stepped Chuuya.
Her red-orange hair easily reached her tailbone and was still swept over her shoulder, her dark skirts and dresses became tasteful dress pants and no less dark. Her white, bejeweled button up was a perfect contrast on both the pants and her skin and the suspenders-
Dazai was only a woman. And as woman her only thought was obviously,
‘Holy, woman .’
Chuuya seemed to spot her then and made her way over to Dazai. Now that she was closer, Dazai could see how her face structure had sharpened. She got a new lip piercing, and she still had that hat Dazai always teased her about and-... and she was wearing the choker Dazai had gifted her on her sweet sixteen.
Dazai looked back down at her phone, acting as though she had never noticed her. Really, it was only an excuse to hold her head down, and hope that her chin length hair covered her face well and long enough to get herself back under control.
“Dazai? That you?”
Oh god , her voice was much deeper than Dazai remembered.
Dazai looked up, hoping that her face wasn’t all that red or that it just passed as makeup. She grinned at Chuuya who seemed as though she recognized her just from that. “Well if it isn’t her Chibi highness. Funny running into you here.” She said melodramatically. Chuuya scoffed as she took a seat across from Dazai.
“Shut up. You invited me here dumbass.” She said. Dazai put her phone away as she said. “I did no such thing.” She huffed, crossing her arms and turning away. Chuuya sighed, “Now I remember why we hated each other.” And she flagged down a waitress.
Dazai gasped. “You never hated me, Chibi!” Chuuya only rolled her eyes at this.
The waitress walked over and asked for their orders only a moment later. “A latte macchiato. Dazai?” Dazai put a finger to her chin and thought for a bit before settling, “A passion fruit bubble tea.”
The waitress took their orders with a practiced smile and left them again. After that, it felt like Dazai was back in college, spending her midday break with Chuuya again at their favorite coffee shop. They would bicker and argue all the time, almost getting kicked out a dozen times, but it still felt like a safe space to her.
And there was so much that has happened in their personal lives that Dazai could hardly count the number of things that have been said, even though she takes care to remember every last detail.
“So, a jeweler, huh? I didn’t take you for the kind of person to go into such a profession.” Dazai said before turning her gaze to the waitress who came back with their drinks. She placed them down with a smile and walked off again. Chuuya took up her coffee and took a light sip, careful of the heat.
“Yeah well, I always liked jewelry. You can tell just by looking at me.” She said with a roll of her eyes. It was true actually. She had a beautiful set of earrings, a necklace, a bracelet and sleeve cuffs; she just looked expensive. “Yeah, I was wondering about that, you look like you just came from somewhere important.” Dazai commented.
“Just a meeting, nothing exciting. It was about this new project I’m working on, though I’m not quite satisfied yet.” Chuuya reached into her pocket as she said this and took out a beautiful bracelet. It had a flat base but there was a chrysanthemum carved out of the jewel, smooth and so clearly hand made. It was stunning with its beige and blue colors; they were Dazai’s favorite colors and her favorite flower.
“This one’s faulty though. I tend to give them away, so they at least aren’t a waste.” Dazai picked up the bracelet and turned it around in her hold, admiring the craftsmanship. It really was beautiful. If more were to come out like this one, Dazai might just start buying jewelry. She had never cared to wear any before, (it mostly got in the way) but that might just change.
“So, what? Are you giving it to me?” She asked cheekily. Chuuya scoffed, “As garbage disposal, yeah.” That dragged a laugh from Dazai, and she slipped it onto her wrist.
Dazai used to wear bandages a lot, well she still does, but she doesn’t layer them up high like she did before and the only reason she did wear them was because it was closest, she felt that she could get to a hug, or an embrace of some sort; she could see that now that she was older. The bracelet was cool even through the thin layer of bandages, but not unpleasant.
Dazai could feel her heart flutter at the gift, her cheeks heated up with a light flush and she couldn’t help but smile. “Whatever Chibi says.” Because she knows. She knows what a truly faulty piece of jewelry looks and feels like because she is a detective, of course she knows these things.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with the bracelet. It felt brand new.
And she’d dare to say that she prided herself in how well she knew Chuuya, and she knew that Chuuya struggled to be up front about gifts. It seems that that had never changed.
Minutes later, the two of them left with another cup of coffee and tea. Dazai teasing and taunting and Chuuya always rising to the bate. Yes, she was just as Dazai remember, but at the same time she was even more wondrous than she used to be.
“Chibi really needs to drink more milk; it’ll help you get bigger!”
“Dazai!”
“Oh wait- she’s gotten too old to grow any taller.” Dazai said mockingly mournful. Chuuya’s face screwed up, her nose scrunching and her lips turning down into a scowl. Her eyes were hard, and her eyebrow twitched in annoyance. But she wasn’t really angry, if she were, she would’ve been baring fangs ages ago, and Dazai has seen her when she’s truly angry and she was often the person to drive her to that point, this was not anger.
Somehow, the hardness of her eyes gave way to the softness in them. The downturn of her mouth hid away the minute twitch upwards, and her scrunched up button nose just made her look absolutely adorable. Dazai could only smile at the sight, her heart full of feelings she was so familiar with, yet stronger now that the object of her affection was beside her again.
“You’re cute when you’re mad.” She said. Chuuya froze in shock before the smile finally broke onto her face. She scoffed and pulled her hat over her eyes as if to hide away. “Be quiet, shitty Dazai.”
Dazai could only laugh and hope that the hand that slid into her own meant that she had a chance.