Work Text:
10pm, on a Friday, Mac and Dennis's Apartment, Philadelphia, PA.
Dennis was sitting on his couch, reading, a thing he'd usually just pretend to do, but he needed a distraction. His phone was face down on the coffee table; he couldn't bear to look at it. What if Mac was still messaging him? He thinks they broke up right? I mean, they weren't even dating, so how could they break up? Then it hit Dennis like a brick in a sock. If he was Johnny, then that would mean he's dating Mac. He was staring at his phone before getting up and moving as far away from his phone as possible. Nope. Nope. No way. No texting Mac. Nope.
Dennis heard a deep treble in the floor before hearing loud, mopey, music coming from Mac's room. Is that radiohead? Of course it's fucking radiohead, jesus. Dennis rolled his eyes. He heard vigorous banging on the front door and muffled yelling,
"Who is it?" Dennis asked. The man on the other side of the door continued to yell. Dennis walked to the front door and let out a very audible sigh when he looked through the peep hole. He unlocked the door.
"Hey, Charlie."
"DUDE YOU GOTTA LISTEN TO ME! MALCOLM IS AFTER ME!" Charlie had a wild look in their eyes and their jacket and jeans were more torn up than usual. They were covered head to toe in blood.
"Who's after you?"
"Y'KNOW WHO!"
"I don't"
"AW SHIT DUDE HE'S GONNA GET ME! YOU GOTTA HELP ME MAN! MR. MALCOLM IS GONNA GET ME! HE GOT FRANK, LET ME IN!!"
"I don't know, I'm kinda busy", Dennis lied. His head swivelled to look at the coffee table. His phone was ringing.
"You gonna get that?" Charlie asked, calmly.
"Nope. What happened to Frank?" A worried expression washed over Charlie's face,
"He got got" Dennis' eyes widened at the statement
"Frank's dead?!"
"No! No! He might be soon though!"
"Charlie what the fuck is going on-" Dennis begun, getting startled by a loud crash coming from down the hall, he stuck his head outside the door "-Bryan Cranston? Bryan Cranston's after you? Is this about the booze thing?" Dennis was becoming more confused by the second.
"LET ME IN!"
Dennis contemplated his choices for a second before shaking his head and closing the door slowly and locking it. Dennis' eyes kept wandering back to his phone. It was taunting him. It rang again. Dennis denies the call and looks at his messages:
Dennis
(2) missed calls from WHORE🦜
Johnny
(5) missed calls, (17) unread messages from Mac
Dennis checks his messages.
Mac
Mac:
>Hey
>Hey?
>You there?
>Are you mad at me?
>What did I do?
>Answer me, Johnnyl
>Don't ghost me again!
>This is toxic behaviour.
>Are we breaking up?
>You haven't talked to me all day.
>I miss you.
>You're making me listen to radiohead
>I hate radiohead
>But I'm still listening 2 it cuz I'm so sad
>Creep sucks ass and not in a fun sexy way in a way that it SUCKS!
>Johnny, I appreciate you as a person, and as a lover, I want to keep appreciating you, please answer my calls.
>I hate Thom Yorke.
Dennis types out a response:
Johnny:
<Sorry, was busy, can you buy some snacks? Will meet you @ motel, I promise. 👍🏻
<I hate Thom Yorke too.
<Don't be sad or I'll be sad.
They were all the truth except for the first one, so what he was doing couldn't be that immoral. Dennis set up camp in the living room at this point, lying down on the sofa. What the fuck was he doing? Why was he still playing along with this? Was Mac this stupid?
Mac:
>No!
>Not again!
>I'm not falling for this again, Johnny!
Johnny:
<Not falling for what?
<Why are you being weird?
Mac:
>YOUR BEING WEIRD!
Johnny:
<You're*****
Mac:
>SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO MORE MOTELS!!!!!!!!!!!
Johnny:
<Fine. Where do you want to meet?
Mac:
>Mine.
Johnny:
<C u 👍🏻
Shit. Shiiiiiiiiit. Dennis ran a hand down him face and rubbed his eyes. He heard an absence of music coming from Mac's room and saw him appear from the depths. His eyes were red and puffy. He went over to the sink and started cleaning and putting away the dishes, trying his best to tidy up.
"Hey Dennis, do you mind leaving the apartment for a while? Johnny's coming over." Mac gave him a grin.
BE OBLIVIOUS BE OBLIVIOUS BE OBLIVIOUS BE OBLIVIOUS BE OBLIVIOUS BE OBLIVIOUS BE OBLIVIOUS BE OBLIVIOUS BE OBLIVIOUS BE OBLIVIOUS BE OBLIVIOUS BE
"Sure, cool, great, don't you usually meet at the motel, though?"
Mac's grin widened even further, turning towards Dennis, "Well, we're actually getting pretty serious I think! God, he's such a man! I bet he has great hair, do you think he has great hair?"
Dennis tried his best not to smile. The compliment wasn't meant for him. "Yeah, I bet he does, seems like a guy who has great hair, you can just tell with some people" Dennis commented.
"I bet he's greying, silver fox type of thing y'know?" Mac imagined.
Dennis tried his best to smile. "I think he has dark brown hair, no grey hairs in sight, actually, youthful looking, y'know? Not a day over 30"
"...Maybe!" Mac went back to doing the dishes and Dennis went back to his phone.
He saw a message that was made out entirely of gibberish from Dee and ignored it.
Mac
Johnny:
<Idk if u care but I have long dark curly hair.
Mac:
>Cool?
Johnny:
<Like a lion's mane.
Mac:
>Cool... ... ... ...
Dennis didn't know what to do. He didn't know why he was still lying, Mac was gonna find out it was him eventually, it was only a matter of time.
Thirty minutes had soon passed.
Mac:
>OMG I FORUR TO TELL YIU
Johnny:
<What?
Mac:
>I think my best friend likes dudes. He did the weirdest thing a few days ago
Johnny:
<Oh, what did he do?
Mac:
>He made a system up for how 2 date dudes and then completely denied the q when we asked him y
Johnny:
<HAHA FUNNY b there in a few mins
Dennis was fuming. Why would Mac tell people that he was gay? What if he wasn't Johnny? Who the fuck would know that shit that's not okay what the fuck.
Mac:
>It's kinda funny
Johnny:
<That he likes men? Homophobic. 👎🏻
Mac:
>LOL no. I thought he was str8 for years and liked him a lot and then as soon as it turns out that he's a 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬 I don't like him anymore, LOL.
Johnny:
<LOL. Tell him I said congrats anyways. Brave thing. Hope he's happy
His heart sank. It didn't really occur to Dennis that Mac could stop liking him. It was meant to always be that way. Mac pining, Dennis rejecting. Mac wants, he doesn't get what he wants. That wasn't meant to change, it wasn't allowed to change. And now he's seeing it in writing. Mac admitted he liked Dennis. Liked Dennis. Dennis had a thought. A last chance
Johnny:
<I'm here 👍🏻👍🏻
Mac opened the door to see nobody.
Mac:
>Don't C U... U have the right address?
"I'm here, Mac" Dennis repeated, staring at the ceiling like the dramatic bitch he is.
"Yeah, I know you're here, Dennis. I thought I told you to leave, anyways!"
"Why would I leave when you're meeting Johnny here?"
Silence.
He closed the door and walked into the living room. "I'm sorry, what?" Mac had a confused expression plastered on, hands on his hips
"I am Johnny, Mac, I am saying it for the last time." Dennis got up and began to move towards Mac "I am fucking Johnny, Mac"
Mac had a shocked expression on his face "YOU'RE FUCKING MY BOYFRIEND?!"
"No! Idiot! I am Johnny!" Dennis stepped closer, three feet between the two.
"You keep saying that when your name's obviously Dennis! Do you wanna change your name or something?" Mac yelled, pushing Dennis in the chest.
"Can you get what I'm saying into your skull?! Johnny isn't coming! You don't see him at the door! The reason you don't see him at the door is because HE IS STANDING A FOOT AWAY FROM YOU, MAC!" Dennis' breathing quickened as his words began to get caught in his throat, having to get them out by brute force. Dennis cupped Mac's face and sighed, his voice quiet,
"Do you get what I'm saying?" His eyes flickered down to his lips and back up to Mac's eyes, where he was met with a blunt face.
"I think I get it. Can I kiss you?" Mac asked. Forward. Okay. Very fucking forward. Dennis had to think. Dennis thought to himself, ‘Thinking's for losers.’ Dennis nodded. Mac wrapped his arms around Dennis' waist and closed the space between them, kissing him. Dennis didn't know what to expect. It was short but it felt like a lifetime.
"I have a confession" Mac admitted.
"What?"
"I knew from the moment you said you were Johnny that you were him. I just wanted to see you squirm" Mac smiled. Dennis let out a laugh
"You're a dickhead."
"I'm proud of you, Dennis, I am."
They stayed in that spot for a while longer before being interrupted by a gentle knock at the door. Dennis kissed Mac before answering the door and being met with a man, and a gun pointing at his forehead
"Bryan Cranston?"
"Die, gay boy."
The end!